Samuel

Well, glad I asked for help! 😀

@karthmin You’re revision was excellent. I might just go with it, but for whatever reason “with a beautiful life” just didn’t seem to flow 100% for me. I tried reworking it and came up with an alternate version which may or may not be any better.

He’s living the American dream. His life is beautiful, cracked, a…[Read more]

Thank you! @samuel

@parker @samuel @livgiordano @josiah @caleb-e-king

Okay, you guys convinced me! I am in it now. It does look really cool! And if it is as awesome as I think it will be, I’m going to try and drag my friends into it next time it opens. Which I guess will be awhile.

Thanks so much!!!

@samuel  you know, a while ago on Kingdom Pen, a writer’s website a lot of the moderators here are from, held a contest for story openers. Every one of the three winning submissions had something to do with death. I was indignant, but strategist that I am, filed it away for future use. Now look where it’s got us! 😉

Kidding. However, there is…[Read more]

@samuel ~

At our local public school, there’s nearly always a sports practice going on after school. So they leave the main portions of the school open for that – the gym (for the athletes) and the commons/lunch area for other people who are still there. Because I’m not actually public schooled, I don’t know if it’s encouraged to stay at school…[Read more]

@parker @samuel

That does sound pretty cool! I might end up doing it. 🙂

Thanks!

@samuel, yes, Josiah is part of it. Or at least has been.

Thank you @samuel ! It does sound better with your suggestion. 🙂

@millennium-m Welcome! I am Catwing the catwing, but I’m part cheshire. You have a pet dragon that’s cool. I have a pet cat named Shadow(That sounds slightly creepy so, maybe I should say cat who I adopted after his mother died after she collapsed on my family’s porch? uuummmm… just cat?). He’s my little shadow. ^.^
I like horse back riding…[Read more]

First off, hi and welcome. There isn’t a friend option for the time being. Wither one will be added or not, I don’t know.

Since we’re on the topic of dragons… DRAG- Wait, what effect could moon dust possibly have?

Okay guys. It’s officially submitted. *thumbs up* You people are amazing.

@raemarie @mcnoggin @cindy @kate @elizabeth @girlsetfree @theresa-play @r-m-archer @literatureforthelight @livgiordano @lady-iliara @m_corinnemusic @j-parkhurst @gabbyj @sierra @cassandraia @chalice @samuel @noahlittle @julianne @corissa

@Samuel, so I’ve heard.

@Wordsmith, Thank you!

*grabs broom to sweep up confetti*

Hello, @Ariella-Newheart! 😀

@Noahlitle CRIPES! Cuttin’ it kinda close, don’t you think? :’D

Like I’m one to talk. XD

I really like your edits though. Especially towards the end, as mine felt a little rushed. (I wonder why… not like I was trying to cram an ending in as few words as possible… hm…) I did tweak a few things; wording and such, and cut a few lines that…[Read more]

@samuel That’s great idea!
Except I can’t do them because all my writing devices are touch screen or the mouse is on a cord… maybe I could hide the cord, then it could work… Thanks this helped me too!

@Samuel

Em shut her eyes and stood quite still for a moment, breathing deeply. Her flame flickered red, then blue again, then purple. “Julian. I realize this is difficult for you to understand. Please. Take my word for it that this is vitally important.”

“But it ain’t my business. I’m jes’ a sweep!”

Em’s flame bled pink, then dwindled and pu…[Read more]

GUYS! WE’RE UNDER THE LIMIT! *cue happy dancing*

@Samuel @literatureforthelight *nods* Thank you. Grace, great point about the narrator voice not always matching up with Julian’s. I went and tweaked it a bit, specifically the bit you mentioned, and I think I smoothed it out a little bit. Tell me what you think.

Samuel, any ideas on how we could…[Read more]

@kate

I was drawn in emotionally once he started describing the music — probably because I’m a music person.

I think there was a good amount of childish emotion in there (a lot of sweet, cute instances), but it might’ve been thrown off by the kind of adjectives that are used in the narration — which in this case is a tricky subject, since…[Read more]

Very helpful, @samuel! I like Ted Dekker! And Frank Peretti!

Alrighty people. First of all, thanks so much for all your help in the doc. You could set up as an editing team and take over the world. ;P

We’re still a few dozen words over the limit, but that shouldn’t be too hard to fix with some more clipping. Right now I’m just going to open the floor for general thoughts on the point of the prompt—…[Read more]

Okay guys. *deep breath* I’m not quite happy with it, but that’s what first drafts are for. We’re over our limit by a few hundred words, so clipping would probably be a good thing to look for. 😛 Let’s get started.…[Read more]