@jenwriter17   @myclipboardismyviolin  @faith_blum    The ending is too abrupt.  And, the idea to put in the last part of the old story is a good idea.

I will be out most of the afternoon as well.

@myclipboardismyviolin  did you want to give it a go? We could all look at it again tonight maybe. 🙂

@myclipboardismyviolin   with regards to your last comment, did you mean, that you’d like to have the prisoners be outside when the sunrises, rather than stepping out directly into the sun?

I think that would be feasible, it would only take a few tweaks in the story to fix.   @jenwriter17  what do you think? 🙂

@myclipboardismyviolin   thanks so much for pointing that out. The first story was, in many ways, a lot better as a story. I would encourage  @jenwriter17   to keep it around, and who knows, maybe for some future need. We can change names and such.

You’re right, life isn’t about writing prompts. But that’s not our purpose here. I view this guil…[Read more]

@jenwriter17  So glad I could be of service. Hope we win! 🙂

@april-j-rhys   April!!!! This is exceedingly late, but I only just saw this. Alas, we don’t always get emailed whenever we’re tagged. Rejoiced you’re on. Dreadfully disappointed that you’re not in my guild. But, I suppose the other guilds need some help. 😉 Hope to see you around here somehow or another!

@jenwriter17   brilliant job. This is so much better. I am exceedingly impressed. I cluttered your document with suggestions. Feel free to take or leave what you please. I hope you don’t mind, I changed several things that I’m pretty sure were spelling errors or typos, so if you notice anything amiss, feel free to change it back. 🙂 So much better! 🙂

@jenwriter17   I read your excerpt, and it’s a great draft, but I think we need to make a few big changes if we want to win. Like @myclipboardismyviolin  implied, we’re left a little lost as to what exactly is the ordinary thing of emphasis. There should be no doubt in the reader’s mind, that this normally mundane thing such as a sunrise is the ce…[Read more]

@martina   okay,  I made a bunch of comments, feel free to accept or reject what you wish. Hope they help. 🙂 Over all, not a bad story.

@martina  I really like what you’ve got so far, this could be a winner….sorry I couldn’t help with this, but I’d love to help critique once it’s finished.

@storyjoy thanks, we could use your help critiquing. 🙂  @fawxofthecomics   I agree…we need to do something….why don’t at least three of us write up a possible draft, post them here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VArurM-tBrxGsMqtiUIa9gcCQohhv9Df7GlBVSwYwY4/edit?usp=sharing

and then maybe we can mix things up to come up with some de…[Read more]

@kay  I really like your idea….what if he was the sort of person who grew up in the world we live in today where it’s kind of accepted that nice people don’t ever “judge” you know tell people the truth about themselves. And I know you have to be careful about that, speak it in love and all, but let’s say this person makes his mission in life to…[Read more]

@brookewolf  I personally love critiquing. I don’t know how good I’ll be, but if you’re willing, I’d love to give it a shot, it sounds like a great story.

One think you mentioned, I might be careful calling female soldiery Biblicaly wrong. It’s certainly not part of a woman’s role, it isn’t something we were made to do, especially when it comes…[Read more]

It was a hard season for us, but I’m looking forward to starting afresh. This year I’ve every intention of rewriting the story I wrote for NaNoWriMo. I really like it and think it could become something good, so that’s my one big writing goal for this year.

@wordsmith  I’d join you but I’ve got to drive my brother to class, and another brother needs oversight with his schoolwork. I’ll try to hop on later.

@storyjoy   oh yay, I’m so glad. Hey, if you run into him again, will you tell him I miss him because he’s such a sweet cupcake? 😉 It’s an ongoing joke between the two of us, it would be hilarious if I got to prank him back like he’s done for me too many times. XD

Anyhow, so glad you got into finals…best of luck today, I’ll be praying.

@daeus-lamb  thanks so much for letting me know. That’s really great. My brother Tobias is there right now….he didn’t make it to semis but anyway, interesting connection. Can’t wait to see how Hannah does.

@faith_blum  I managed to get 50,008 thanks to NaNoWriMo. What a great challenge! I finished my novel.

Great thoughts. I’d be happy to insert a few comments. I don’t have time tonight, but if you don’t mind waiting until tomorrow, I can offer some edits.

Just one thought off the bat on my first reading, there were several sentences I didn’t quite understand exactly what you’re trying to say, simply because I think you tried to say several…[Read more]

@serenity Thanks it was a good thing, certainly. 🙂  Hmm….I don’t know about that. Should we really be encouraging the competition?  😀  😉