I like your latest version. It’s very specific and has a clear mood.

Complication: it is very dark and heavy. And I would say if it doesn’t match the mood of your story, then you should rewrite it. And I feel that strongly. Don’t use it if it doesn’t fit.

The only other thing I would say is, you seem to be stuck in the “eternal rewrite” phase.…[Read more]

@daeus-lamb

Again, generally, I agree with @taylorclogston.

I do like the bit about the wizard better, but it still feels really long-winded. That whole paragraph is one sentence and I feel like it should be two, not that I know how I would break it up.

If I may be potentially offensive…

Based solely on your synopsis writing, it seems to me…[Read more]

@mariposa

I haven’t been as active on Instagram as I would like, but I could try to do this. My access to IG has been limited lately, though, so I can’t make any promises.

@daeus-lamb

I agree with @taylorclogston mostly. Your second version screams “Tolkien ripp-off” with lines such as: “dark lord escaping,” and “it corrupts heroes.”

Also, “God may have abandoned them” sounds a little cheesy. I think you could come up with a much more poetic way to say that.

What if instead of: “but warns God may have abandoned…[Read more]

@daeus-lamb

Okay… Now it gives away too much, I feel. I like your first final take better. I think it has enough plot, it’s just a little generic as far as storyworld goes.

What if, instead of trying to explain more of the plot, you just worked specific details of your storyworld into your “final take” synopsis. For example, instead of saying…[Read more]

@daeus-lamb

Hmm. I think it would inspire more of my curiosity if it included all heroes, like so:

“No hero is who they try to be.” Or: “No hero is as heroic as they want to be.”

Saying “not all” implies that some heroes are who they try to be, and I’m just as curious about that character as I am about the one you’re obviously implying.

And if…[Read more]

@r-m-archer Those are great ideas.

I wish we had more time.

We had a discussion on the google hangouts group, and  @bama-rose volunteered to write about a clash of instruments…

I just realized, we kind of drifted from the clash of cultures idea…

Anyway, @r-m-archer , you can catch up on the conversation there.

@bama-rose , I know you may not see this tonight, but we have, like, two days to submit. Do you have anything for us?

@m@msqueen8

Thanks! I appreciate it!

Which part did you have to reread? Maybe I could make it clearer?

@noodle-mum Thanks! I appreciate it. And it’s nice to meet you too.

@bama-rose Thanks! Yeah, I intended to write with two settings in mind, but ended up with three. I think I’m going to introdice the third earlier on, and work on making it clearer which is which.

Thanks again for your feedback!

@r-m-archer Feel free to share them. Maybe we could extract the core of the ideas… ?

We threw around a few ideas on the group chat.

@daeus-lamb Cool. Thanks.

@daeus-lamb When is the deadline?

So… Does anyone have any ideas?

@cassandraia You seemed to volunteer yourself… 🙂

Okay. It worked. XD

Just ignore me.

I’m trying to unsubscribe from this topic. I’m thinking if I leave a comment and then unsubscribe it might work.

🙂

Excelent analysis!

I was just thinking the other day how I would like to see less of the “strong female warrior” type and more realistic women in stories. I would like to see more strong female characters. Where are the girls that are just being girls? I don’t mean the girly-girls. Just like there’s more to guys than explosions and bodily harm -…[Read more]

@literatureforthelight

Thank you! And Great job! I can’t believe we got second place.

We’ll have to push ourselves harder next time. Like we did with the dream sequence one.

Good job everyone!

@bama-rose @eden-anderson @cassandraia

This feels like the smallest team we’ve ever had working on the prompt war.

Hey, guys. Sorry I’m so late. I made a few suggestions. I hope I’m not too late.

Looks good, @literatureforthelight. I couldn’t have written it better. The only thing I would change is the order, but that’s just my personal interest in non-linear narrative showing through.

I hope we win! (NEW WESSEX…[Read more]