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Well, glad I asked for help! 😀

@karthmin You’re revision was excellent. I might just go with it, but for whatever reason “with a beautiful life” just didn’t seem to flow 100% for me. I tried reworking it and came up with an alternate version which may or may not be any better.

He’s living the American dream. His life is beautiful, cracked, and breaking at the seams and as he clings to each moment it slips away from him.
Perhaps his troubles are manageable. Perhaps there is meaning in all of this that he just can’t see…
But he may never know
He is nameless and his days are few.

Adrian is not who he always thought himself.
Given the chance to realize his deepest desire, Adrian finds that the unthinkable is now inviting. Faced with the fate of his fiancée and former best friend, he ought to choose love over jealousy.
Clear choices, however, aren’t always easy as pie. There is also the issue golden ziggurat lurking in his mind…
As time marches on, the inner man will come forth. Amid catastrophes, the golden ziggurat will show its true colors.

@r-m-archer @anne-of-lothlorien @samuel @kate @ethryndal

Thoughts?