Mel

@melodyjoy

Haha totally get that!! Happens to me a lot lol! 😉

@melodyjoy Oh okay I see. Different tenses would make a difference *thumbs up*

@sam-m @emberynus-the-dragonslayer @melodyjoy @claire-h @anne_the_noob14 @joshuapior

Next part! Enjoy!

———-

Thud, thud, whack. The heavy bag spun away from her and she wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. She bounced on her toes and continued. Jab, cross, squat. Breathe, release, repeat. Kick, punch, kick, punch. T…[Read more]

Just tagging a bunch of people that might be interested.

Sorry if I tagged you and you find it annoying.😆

@kimlikesart @tal @beth20 @lucy @claire-h @katja-r @melodyjoy @rusted-knight @thedarkninja03 @ariella-newheart @anne_the_noob14 @kristianne-hassman @writergirl101

@melodyjoy

Thanks for tagging me! I didn’t read it until now, and I thought it was really good.😄 It’s a first draft, and everyone else had good suggestions, so it’ll smooth out. Can’t wait to read more.

@devastate-lasting

Really? I always use italisized thoughts, third or first person.

@melodyjoy

Really liked it! If you post more be sure to tag me!

Just some things I noticed.

When you said, I probably look like a wreck.  You didn’t italicize it. If you follow Linyang’s advise, then you don’t have to italicize it. But, you have to keep it co…[Read more]

@melodyjoy Thanks so much for tagging me!!

I love how real this feels, like I just watched Chloe doing all this stuff. And I totally feel for her in some people just not being draining. 😅

Honestly, the only thing I can think to change is smoothing out a couple places…

“I pulled a boxed dinner from the freezer and placed it in the microwave. I…[Read more]

@melodyjoy I like your writing voice! It’s very clear and consistent. One thing that I think would help is, since you’re writing in first person, I don’t think there’s any needs to bring in italicized thoughts. Just change them to more inner monologue. I think that would smooth it out. Otherwise, nice job! 🙂

@melodyjoy

Sounds like a really cool story! I love it. I haven’t reread it yet, I’ll let you know if I find anything wrong with it.

@emma-starr Absolutely! I’ll let you know. 😊 Thanks for offering!

Aw, really?! I took piano lessons when I was younger but I quit after about a year and never took it up again. I kind of wish I would have kept going…

Currently, I don’t play any instruments, but I’m hoping to learn the guitar! And I’d really, really, really love to play the…[Read more]

@melodyjoy

Awesome can’t wait to read it!

@melodyjoy Your new story sounds amazing! How are you going to make Chloe deal with her struggles? I love writing the emotional side of characters. I can hardly wait to hear more about your story.😄

@melodyjoy Right now it’s a short story, but it could turn into something longer. We’ll see! I’m getting more excited about it as I work on it more!

@claire-h I’m curious about her backstory too… 😁

Oops forgot to tag you lol! @melodyjoy 😉

@melodyjoy

Haha yeah, makes sense!

@melodyjoy Aw, that’s too bad. I would love to have pets someday.

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer Aw, thank you! I love him too 🙂 (And I want to cry every time I think of him….ah….)

@melodyjoy

Haha yeah, life! lol, I like the premise for your book!

@melodyjoy Ahaha thanks! (There’s so much backstory to cover it’s really hard to give a complete description of all the characters)

Ahh your story sounds really meaningful! I would love to read it! Also you profile picture is super cute.