Hey, everybody. So, here’s a poem I wrote. Feel free to offer feedback if you want to. 🙂
I Would Be
The person I was and am isn’t who I want to be.
Who would I be if nothing stopped me?
If all my weaknesses, fears,
All my sins disappeared.
And I could begin again.
I would seek mercy and justice.
And my hypocrisy? I would bust it.
I w…[Read more]
@eitan I love this poem. 🙂 I specifically like, “O my Lord, heal my heart, and let your love be in me.” Thank you for sharing this!
Hi, Laurel. 🙂 Your story sounds interesting. What’s it’s about?
Hi, guys! Here are a few answers for my villain, Dante.
Do you care about him/hero at all? Or do you now see him/hero as a problem?
Yeah, he’s my best friend. But he is becoming a problem.
Who do you admire?
Can I say myself? Um…I guess I admire Lauren, because she’s so authentic and bold. She doesn’t have to pretend to be somebody else. I…[Read more]
Would you rather have the ability to move things with your mind, or the ability to read minds?
Jordan: The ability to move things with my mind. Definitely. Telepathy would be torture.
(She can already tell whenever people lie, which she considers to be as misfortune).
Judah: Uh…I think I’d have to go with telepathy. Jordan gives him a look…[Read more]
Would you rather be ignored or be criticized?
Dante: I don’t see how anyone would do either to me, but I guess I’d take the criticism. At least that I could argue with.
Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself?
Judah: Ten minutes into somebody else’s future.…[Read more]
Hi, Eitan. I’m sorry that you had a hard day.
I think the line should be “how lonely and miserable I became” instead of “what…”
I always love your poetry. I love how much you focus on God’s love and goodness. Thanks for posting this! This poem was relatable. 🙂
Hi, Eitan! I really like your poem. I love the hope and truth that you pour into your writing.
Also, (because you’re really serious about grammar), I think you meant: I can know this for sure.
I look forward to reading anything else you post. 🙂
Hi, Anne. 🙂 I really liked your poem! I love paradoxes. And I love it when lines in poems contrast and reflect each other -which you did well. Great job on your poem!
Would you rather lose the ability to lie or believe everything you’re told?
Stranger: I think that level of naivete would get me real dead real fast, so I guess I’ll choose being super honest.
Kaz: Um…*averts his eyes* the other one.
Travis: Why, what are you hiding, Houdini?
Kaz: *glares at him* Vigilantes in glass houses shouldn’t point t…[Read more]
Hi, Eitan. I really liked your poem. It’s very relatable. Thanks for posting it. 🙂
I feel like either of those options can be done well. The character could also go back and forth for most of the story before coming to a solid decision. Or maybe he goes from being an atheist, to believing in a religion that isn’t Christianity and then realizes that religion doesn’t work and eventually comes to believe in Jesus. Maybe he’s…[Read more]
Hi, guys! This thread looks super fun!
For my character, Ronnie.
1. What was your character’s childhood (or present time) nightmare/most vivid dream ?
She’s kneeling in an arena with people glaring down at her. Shackles wrap around her. This mean guy from her past has a microphone and is convincing all the other people in the arena that she’s w…[Read more]
Great poem, Livi! I feel like it can be easy to ignore the challenges and integrity in other people’s lives and I think it’s really cool when people use a form of art (like poetry) to highlight the heroism in others.
Would you rather be poor but help people, or become incredibly rich by hurting people?
Shark: The first one.
Stranger: I’d rather be poor and help others. I don’t see much point in being rich and cruel. That sounds miserable.
Kaz: I’d rather be poor and kind towards others.
Lauren: Me too.
Travis: Fine. I guess I’d be one of you…[Read more]
Gracie’s Question: Would you rather have a string of real diamonds that appeared fake, or fake diamonds that looked real?
Dante: Hmmm….maybe the fake diamonds. And maybe I could find whoever made them and hire him to do some work for me.
Frankie: Real, so that I could sell them for money, if I needed to.
New Question: Would you…[Read more]
Question from Tal: Would your character rather face past hardships and pain over and over again? Or would they rather face new ones and not know what’s going to happen?
Dante: I’ll take the new ones. I mean, come on, that’s got to be less boring.
Kaz: I’ll take the old ones. I don’t want to lose anyone else.
Travis: New ones.
Lauren: Old o…[Read more]
@vic Thanks, Vic. 🙂 I enjoyed this section and I’m looking forward to seeing how the story continues. I’d love to find out the backstory of how Liz became an assassin and learn more about Dirk! 🙂
@vic This was really cool! I enjoyed your vivid writing style. I also thought it was cool how she’s an assassin and a violinist.
Here’s a thought I had for a direction that you <i>could</i> take this: maybe Liz is a an assassin whose boss gives her assignments and she kills people without really knowing them. Then she ends up killing someone she…[Read more]
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