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Fantasy Writers

Character Castle 2.0

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  • #124414
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    “I have a big nose.”

    Riure slapped  hand to her mouth, but a giggle still escaped. At least the princess wasn’t trying to impress her. All the same, Riure couldn’t tell if it was meant as a joke or if it was just the first thing that came to Princess Liorah’s mind.

    “I really do,” the princess protested. “Umm, I’m tall enough that lots of boys stand on tiptoe when they meet me because it’s an overwhelming indignation that a girl’s taller than them.” Sarcasm coated her voice.

    Riure smiled, pulling Sadiq’s head farther onto her lap so she could stroke the dog’s coarse ruff.

    “My hair is so long and thick it gives me a headache when I have to pin it up for formal occasions.” I wish I had hair like that. “Or maybe it’s the events themselves, I don’t even know. It’s always fraying out of the braid and it’s kind of a dark reddish-brown, but I always forget to cover it, so the ends are bleached blond by the sun. Mother says it’s the color of Father’s, but I don’t remember.” Princess Liorah’s voice grew soft. “I have his eyes too. Really light brown. Almost gold.”

    Riure’s heart melted. It was clear the princess’s father was gone – dead or just gone, Riure didn’t know which. Whatever the case, Riure knew that pain, and it stung her sharply even now.

    “My father died when I was eight,” the princess replied tersely to the question Riure was silently asking. “Eight years ago. Hunting accident.”

    Sighing, Riure let her head fall back against the wall. She stared blindly at where she thought the ceiling of the cave, or room, or whatever they were in was supposed to be. Silence had engulfed it, whereas Riure had been aware that at least two more people – Ehud and someone else – had been whispering frantically while she and the princess conversed. Their silence was tense, awkward. Princess Liorah was lost in thought.

    Finally, Riure broke it. “I was nine,” she whispered. “I was nine when my father left.”

    ———————————


    @rose-colored-fancy
    @this-is-not-an-alien @rusted-knight @mischievous-thwapling @jasmine @wingiby-iggiby

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by Joelle Stone.

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124445
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Ah yes, they be people what call ‘em “Grammar Nazis” and it be so fun to talk grammatically incorrectly!

    LOL That sentence made my skin crawl XD I must be a Grammar Nazi too XD

    Oh, how do you insult someone in Dutch?

    Hmm, mostly some combination of “dom” (dumb) “stom” (stupid) “idioot” (idiot). It’s pretty hard to give a comprehensive guide since there are endless combinations. You can always go the creative way and invent something like “zo dom als het achtereind van een varken” (As stupid as a pig’s rear). That’s a pretty serious insult though XD Glad I could help in your linguistic endeavors!

     


    @wingiby-iggiby

    LOL! Don’t you just love it when your characters surprise you? Like I read in an article on here, we should actually call our characters “people” because characters are people

    IKR!? Every time I mention to my family that a character ‘surprised me’ or I ‘found out something new’ or they ‘won’t cooperate’, I get comments like “But.. You thought them up? You created them, you have complete control.” No. Nonono. That’s not how it works XD

    I have a slight fear of the dark just because I can’t help but imagine cat-burglars and assassins creeping down the hall. I have grown out of monsters, but terrorists are very real, lol

    I totally understand that! I get that too XD

    Ooh, your characters sound awesome! I vote Dancrow! He sounds so cool! If you’re planning to bring in two, my second vote is Weslow. (No offense to Candy 😉 If you bring in Dancrow, it’ll be awesome to see him interact with Gavril, since they’re both natural leaders. That means there’ll either be enormous conflict, or they’ll work together. I have no idea which XD

    Okay, all votes so far including mine have been for Gavril, so I’m bringing him in! (Warning: He’s really underdeveloped right now, and I have written only one chapter from his POV. I’m having some trouble with his flaws and fears too. XD) Here’s a profile:

    Name and title: His Royal Highness, crown prince Gavril, son of Shemaiah.

    Age: 21

    Appearance: about 6’2″-6’3″-ish. Pretty muscular, but not exceptionally. Tanned, dark olive skin like Liorah. Short, dark brown hair, not as red as Liorah’s. Gray eyes and strong features generally. Handsome. (Even if Liorah doesn’t say so) There’s some resemblance between him and Liorah. Not striking, but you can definitely see they’re siblings.

    Clothing: Beige linen pants and shirt. Dark red outer cloak with a blue stripe near the hem with a narrow gold stripe in the middle (Like Liorah’s forehead jewelry, it shows rank, tribe, and relationship status. This is also why the tribeless, people who have been rejected from their tribe, wear cloaks with a torn hem. Ripping off the stripe is a symbol of being cast out of your tribe.) Leather belt with a dagger, scimitar, sling, and sling bullets. Dark brown riding boots.

    Best trait: Charismatic and a natural leader.

    Worst trait: Ummm… I’m not sure? Maybe being too selfless. (He’s pretty underdeveloped right now XD)

    MBTI type: ENFJ-a

    Other traits: (Mostly for Riure XD) He has an accent like Liorah’s, but his voice is much deeper, of course. He has a tendency to stride, and his riding boots make quite a lot of noise, so she’d be able to recognize him by that.

    Okay, how am I going to get him into a cave, or a passage of any sort?? He hates small, dark spaces, so this is going to be hard.

    Gavril

    I stared into the darkness, every alarm going off in my head. I was not going in there. The cave was dark, damp, and barely big enough for me to squeeze inside. My mare, Kinneret, nickered and nudged me.

    “Yes, I know,” I said, absently stroking her neck.

    Maewyn, Liorah’s mare, wasn’t as gentle. She stomped her hoof, scraping it through the mud on the cave floor. Even though it was the middle of the hot-season and everything was as dry as it could possibly be, droplets of water splashed onto the floor. A thin layer of mud had formed in the passage, clearly showing the boot-prints that couldn’t belong to anyone other than Liorah. Of course, it was. She was the only person I knew who would think it was a reasonable idea to wander into a narrow passage without thinking about it for more than a few seconds.

    I raked my hand through my hair, thinking about what to do.

    “Li’ah?” The word echoed off the walls, reverberating through the cave.  No reply.

    I tentatively stepped into the passage, ducking to avoid bumping my head.

    “Li’ah? Come on, where are you?”

    No answer.

    “This isn’t funny!” My voice rose, worry gnawing at me. Why wouldn’t she come? It wouldn’t be the first time she made me look for her in the oddest places. Perhaps she was hurt, or trapped, or lost. My mind spun into an endless amount of possibilities, each worse than the last.

    The final push came from Maewyn. Literally. She rammed her head into my back, shoving me into the passage.

    “Alright, I get the message,” I muttered. That mare was as stubborn as my sister.

    I took a deep breath and inched into the darkness. Immediately, I was acutely aware of the complete and utter lack of room. I couldn’t even stand up straight.

    “Li’ah? Come here right now.” I took slight comfort in the sound of my voice. It was the only thing filling the darkness.

    Heart pounding, I ventured a few steps further, keeping one hand on the slimy wall.

    Time for the last hope.

    “I’m counting to three!” Usually, this would be followed by an immediate, indignant, ‘You’re not my mother! Stop bossing me around!’ It was the most dependable method to lure her out of wherever she was. This time, there was nothing.

    I spun around, now thoroughly convinced that something was seriously wrong. My throat closed, just as the wall had behind me. There was no way out. I was trapped. I was going to die. This had been a terrible idea. There was no way out. (Okay, this is pretty unoriginal, but as long as it gets him to the others, right?)

    I forced myself to take a breath, trying to slow my racing heart. It was dark as a tomb. An unfortunate expression.

    I turned around again, now completely disoriented. Which way had I come from? Was there a way out?

    I tried to slow my thoughts. The air was coming in somehow since an icy draft was whirling through the passage. All I had to do was follow it. There had to be some exit.

    I dug my nails into my palms, trying not to panic. Slowly, I started in the direction of the airflow. The walls seemed to be closing in, pressing in from all sides. Shadows flickered just out of sight, invisible creatures, stalking and mocking me. I closed my eyes. There was nothing. I was alone. That was even worse. Step by step, the draft became stronger. The ceiling rose until I could stand again. That was some relief.

    Faint flares of light danced in the corners of my vision, only to disappear when I looked at them. The draft was the only thing that kept me going. At least there was air here, I wouldn’t suffocate. Until another of the walls moved and cut off the air, of course.

    A different light shone, somewhere ahead of me. I frowned. It was pink. The thought of dying near a bright pink light almost made me laugh, though it was more out of nervousness than that the thought was genuinely amusing.

    Without any warning, the ceiling dropped again. I was so focused on the faint pink light that I didn’t notice and bumped my head against the stone. Hard. I resisted the urge to swear, only mumbling something along the lines of ‘ouch’. Liorah would have cussed, whether there was someone to hear her or not.

    Finally, I reached the end of the tunnel. I froze, utterly astonished at what I found. There was another cave, and it was filled with people. There were about a dozen, most of them sitting or lying down. I couldn’t see much in the faint pink light, but they were definitely real people. What were they doing here?

    “What in the–?” I said, not expecting an answer.

    Liorah

    “I was nine,” Riure whispered, breaking the tense silence. “I was nine when my father left.” Her voice broke.

    “I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I awkwardly lay a hand on her arm.

    “Do you have any other family? I have a mother and my uncle, but they’re always so busy,” I said, my voice trailing off. I snapped back into the present. “And I have an older brother, Gavril.” I smiled.

    A loud, distinct bump came from the back of the cave. I frowned, and a memory flitted back. Gav always bumped his head, against everything. He was even taller than I was, and he was usually too preoccupied to pay attention.

    I peered toward the sound and automatically reached for my dagger. In the faint light from Ehud’s pink pony, I could barely see a figure. My stomach twisted. I could have sworn it was Gavril.

    “What in the–?” The figure said, every tone of astonishment in his voice. The deep voice with the clipped accent was so familiar and my heart jumped into my throat. It was him! I pushed myself to my feet, ignoring the pain from my leg. I stumbled toward him, not caring about how much noise I made. For all I cared, everyone could wake up.

    “You idiot!” I said, falling against him gracelessly.

    “You look even worse than usual,” Gavril said, hugging me tightly.

    I took in a shuddering breath. Gav was here. He would get us home again, and everything would be alright.

    _________

    There we go! This will be interesting! Sorry, this was so long!

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124446
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    @rose-colored-fancy,

    Thx for the extra stuff on Gavril! It makes it a lot easier for me to correctly write stuff. 😉 And I think he and Riure will get along just fine (honesly, is there anyone Riure doesn’t get along with, lol?). 🙂 He sounds awesome; I love him already. 😉


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    ,

    Ahem. I am a very lax Grammar Nazi, but one all the same. ;P

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124447
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    “I’m sorry,” the princess replied. A tentative hand found its way onto Riure’s arm. “Do you have any other family? I have a mother and my uncle, but they’re always so busy.” Her voice trailed off, then she seemed to shake herself. “And I have an older brother, Gavril.”

    Riure smiled. The brother who was almost as ugly as the beasts they’d fought? Probably. Chances were, the way the princess spoke of him, he was actually rather handsome, and Princess Liorah just liked to tease him.

    The question hurt, kind of. If Riure had blood relations, she didn’t know them. They hadn’t stepped forward after her mother died to claim her, so either one: they hadn’t known; two: they hadn’t cared; or three: they didn’t exist. She had a family by faith, but not one by blood.

    A thud broke through Riure’s ponderings. Someone muttered something indiscernible. Male. Walked as if he didn’t care who heard him. Had one of the others sat up and banged their head on the ceiling? Riure straightened, but her head didn’t touch. They must be tall. Either that or in a small space.

    “What in the–?” someone said. Same person, probably. Riure searched her mental catalogs and couldn’t pick out who his voice belonged to. He had an accent though, the same clipped one as the princess’.

    Instantly the warmth emanating from the princess vanished as she leapt to her feet. Her lopsided limping made its way across the room in the voice’s direction, then her voice came back, loud and clear.

    “You idiot!” Fondness were in the words.

    Riure laughed clearly. She could totally see the princess saying that.

    “You look even worse than usual,” the new male voice remarked, and clothing rustled. Riure found her feet, gently resting Sadiq’s head against the floor. “Princess?”

    ———————————————-


    @rose-colored-fancy
    @this-is-not-an-alien @mischievous-thwapling (you still with us?) @wingiby-iggiby @jasmine @rusted-knight

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124450
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Hmm, mostly some combination of “dom” (dumb) “stom” (stupid) “idioot” (idiot). It’s pretty hard to give a comprehensive guide since there are endless combinations. You can always go the creative way and invent something like “zo dom als het achtereind van een varken” (As stupid as a pig’s rear). That’s a pretty serious insult though XD Glad I could help in your linguistic endeavors!

    Thank you a bunch! I can’t wait to use them on my closest friends! Jk, probably…

    Aw I love Gavril already, he’s so funny!


    @joelle-stone
    , @rose-colored-fancy
    Wow I always thought I was just particularly annoying there but I guess everybody has the voice of their grammar teacher in their head and she just won’t hold her waffle. I think I feel a little better now XD

    I have finally buckled down and written Rosario’s worst fear! *Rosario behind me. Me;…Rosario; Allow me to end you. Me; Waitwaitwait! You can’t kill the writer that means you don’t exist. Rosario; fine I’ll kill your family. Me slams Rosario back into story panting. Me; why do all my characters hate me?!? Also me; this post XD*

     

    Click in

    I woke underground as cold as stone, dwindling shafts of unsteady light cut the wall. My gun. It’s not there and it’s been never since the last time I didn’t have it. Knuckles cracked with the lack of AC maybe somewhere in ICE. Yeah, it feels like an old scent, stagnant air like a blackhole. How’d I get here, drugged? Can’t remember anything like that, I rub the side of face with my knuckles. Gritty y damp knots of hair knots of hair hit my fingers, maybe something like blood I don’t have time to find out.
    There’s noise out, like a fight or a beating, wherever I am I have to get out now. Passage later the noise is louder, coming from a wire cage at the endway wide like a storage unit. That’s where it was of course I recognize it, the camp I grew up in. You have a group of girls behind the wire, none older than twelve, a ring and just one pair fought at a time with the red-haired mistress watching on.
    Something I can use to get out, there’s got to be something on me, not a sleight of the hand snap and it’s over with them. The girl in the fight whips her leg around her opponent’s neck and twists before the other even hits the ground.
    “Done!” Red-hair shouts which means the girl bit it. The victor stares at the body, only her eyes widen she pants through her nose. “What’s wrong with you, girl?”
    “I feel–”
    “You don’t get feelings, you’re a machine, Number 246.” While she shouts at the girl is my chance. I need to move, vaya, Santa Muerte owns this place. A passage further on, I’ll get there careful. So I take some steps but then I remember los nina…
    “Rosario, ma’am.” The girl–I–asserted rebelliously. No se lo why but I whipped around to end my red-haired mentor but the picture froze. In some loco way I didn’t exist, only just a watcher here. Cracks across the wall like broken glass over everything except me and all was gone.

    Click out

    “Rosy?”
    “RosyRosy?! Are you ok?!”
    Just when day couldn’t get any worse something warm shook me by the arm until I snapped out. Not that I could help it, the first thing I see are wide anxious blue-gray eyes half-hidden with windy spikes of hair. I didn’t want to hold gaze with an innocent chico who didn’t know what was good for him. Someone like that doesn’t need me around, I don’t exist in that world, that blissful society where the worst thing you ever done was cheat on taxes.
    “What’s wrong?” He faltered about when I realized he was cutting the circulation off my arm. Nada, I thought but the English for it was somewhere out of my brain. A current of wind sliced between us like and my knuckles twist the rails.
    “I’m fine.” I lied. How often have I lied to him? My whole life is built on lies, hierba mala nunca muere; bad weeds never die. I must be using him to let him think I’m redeemable.
    Miles and miles lie beneath us on top of the Bridge. They tell you can see the whole world from here. I was raised to be a monster, and he…

    Click in

    My hand catch the kick, the force sent ricocheting through my arm. The force I twist down when the fighter followed the momentum to hurl herself to my other side, rushing a strike for my neck. As I grab her arm I skidding to the floor knocking her over my back to the floor. The burning in my lungs feels like la bruja gave curse. I blacked out, I must have. Where am I now? My instincts move for me, whoever I’m fighting is up in un momento. She glistens with the red hair and sweat that I know who she is.
    “You,” I can hear my low growl send something through her eyes and that’d better be fear. Wherever the devil I am I can kill her right here.
    “Rosy?”

    Click out

    “Lookit! Lookit!” Ehud held up a cat that was trying to scratch his eyes out, but for reason this idiota thinks that’s an endearing trait. “Let’s adopt it!”
    It rakes claws until a lucky hit that makes Ehud yelp and drop the stray. If he weren’t watching I might’ve murdered the cat, not that it was exactly its fault it was just following instinct. No hay mal que por bien no vengo. Mami used to say nothing bad that doesn’t bring good eventually. Lies.
    “Hey! Get it out of here, idiota, what if it has rabies?” A lady cupped her hand under his chin to see the bloody scratch, stanching the small injury with bandages pillaged from the pocket of his brilliant blue jacket. Los senora was oddly lovely though too muscular for a woman.
    I’m not here. I am watching myself but that is not me. See I’m no persona he could love. He thinks he sees something there, like diamond in the rough, but only rough exists. This is not me.

    Click in

    Concrete? Metal? My back slams into it before I twist out. She smirks, stiletto glides into hand. Red in her face just as crisp as blood y sunset. In the second it’s funny what colors trigger in the mind. Esta no importa. The knife or the smirk I could only smash one at a time. Logic goes for the stiletto but…
    “What’s the matter? You always knew this day would come.” she says saccharine sweet “Rosy?”
    Blood color rushes to my head. Next I remember her blood is creased my hands but not yet.
    Click in.
    “You b–!” Next is black a second. I move fast but mad-stupid. There’s red across my side. Click out.
    Crazy how Ehud, he thinks my favorite color is red because roses and I’m Latina. I don’t have a favorite color. But crimson creases my jacket.
    Click in.
    I knee her gut. Red goes loco, the fight no se lo I only follow reflex. What am I doing and where am I? Ram her into the fence, sight is red, where am I, what am I?
    “Monster.” she breathes, laughing with what breath she has left in her “Beautiful, if you beat me I win.”
    Click in.
    “If you don’t you can’t protect him.”
    Click out.
    The broken girl never gets the boy.
    Click in.
    I’m not this.
    Click out
    I’m not what he thinks I am.
    Monster.
    She knows what she triggered and lashes on her chance. Pain flashes through my abdomen and she’s out. I yank her hand before it lands a weak point. Neck, feet, armpits, groin, behind the knees and of course, right in the stomach. Students watch behind the cage. Santa Muerte, eye on eye.
    Click inout clickinclickoutclickinclickout.
    “What happened to you, Rosy?”
    “If we work together I bet we could find your da–” I can’t even remember what I snapped at him. I remember his face, hurt. Desperate to see the real me. What am I? Am I not a monster?
    “Do it!” she shouts, knife forgotten, gun in her hand. Click in. Grab wrist and handle, you twist away from yourself, they fire, you probably die but not if you’re good at it. Bang! Hit the floor, the bullet ricochets across the wall but gone before important. Now the gun is in my hand, she darts a glance to it and my face. I don’t need a good reason to kill her her existence is good enough. Click out–
    “Rosy?! I’m not a little kid anymore I can handle the truth!”
    Click in–
    “Are you ok?” Red-hair imitates his voice and I pull the trigger before the red faded from my vision. Dead. Red is crimson, bright and grim. I feel nothing. Then I am a monster. But he–                                                                                                            Click out–
    The picture. The images. Broken glass. Memory? Dream? Reality? All of it had melded together and. It wasn’t her I shot. Clickinclickoutclickin. It was him.
    Click in “Monster.”click out “Monster.”
          Monster
    “…can handle the truth.”

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #124465
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    WOW. Oh, wow. That was intense. I feel so sorry for her 😭 Poor thing! As far as I understand, her greatest fear is that she might harm Ehud, or that she’s too broken to ever be loved. Oh, goodness!😭

    Ehud held up a cat that was trying to scratch his eyes out, but for reason this idiota thinks that’s an endearing trait.

    Also, that was hilarious XD

    I guess everybody has the voice of their grammar teacher in their head and she just won’t hold her waffle.

    I love how you’ve adopted the phrase! It’s brilliant, right? XD Another favorite is “Mafketel,” (Silly-kettle) That one is also much better when you translate it into English XD. It’s just another way of calling someone a weirdo, but it’s a really, really mild insult, so you might call your friends this teasingly. They’re honestly some of my favorite expressions XD

    Nada, I thought but the English for it was somewhere out of my brain.

    Perfect! That’s what I meant 😉

    hierba mala nunca muere; bad weeds never die.

    Ooh, that’s cool! That’s a Dutch expression too! “Onkruid vergaat niet.”


    @joelle-stone

    Thx for the extra stuff on Gavril! It makes it a lot easier for me to correctly write stuff.   And I think he and Riure will get along just fine (honesly, is there anyone Riure doesn’t get along with, lol?).   He sounds awesome; I love him already.

    You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help! I think he’ll like Riure 😉 Also, I’m glad you like him already! I spent a good bit of time trying to make him likable. Honestly, I think he’s one of the nicest characters in the whole book XD The others aren’t always nice, but they are interesting XD

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by Rose.

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124467
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Gavril

    Liorah buried her head into my shoulder and I hugged her tighter. She was here, and she was alright. That was all that mattered. I let out a quivering breath, letting the tension slip away. As she took a step back, she limped. In the amazement of seeing her, I had barely noticed she was hurt.

    “Are you okay?” I asked,

    Liorah nodded,

    “Who’d you pick a fight with?” I asked, resignedly,

    She grinned, the familiar flicker of mischief dancing in her eyes.

    “What are you going to do, avenge me?”

    I sighed and rolled my eyes.

    “No, I’m going to apologize, because I know you started it.”

    Liorah crossed her arms and raised her chin.

    “You have a terrible opinion of me.”

    “It’s backed up by years of experience.”

    Liorah wrinkled her brow. She was probably running over every possible sarcastic reply and trying to choose her favorite. I didn’t let her and interrupted,

    “What happened? Is it safe here?” I asked, in Lehabim. If any of these people were dangerous, I wanted to know right away.

    Liorah shrugged.

    “Nah. The castle is attacking us. It sent a flock of beasts at us that time. Everyone’s hurt in some way. Most worse than me,” she replied, casually. She spoke in the common language so everyone could understand her, but spoke quietly, trying not to wake anyone.

    “Do you trust them?” I asked, still in Lehabim. I wasn’t going to throw all caution out the window, just because there was a common enemy.

    Liorah hesitated, then shrugged again.

    “I suppose. Most of them.”

    I raised my eyebrows. Most wasn’t good enough.

    “Okay, yes, I trust them. I just don’t like all of them.” She said, adding the final remark in Lehabim.

    I grinned. If Liorah said she trusted these people, I was willing to listen to her. I switched back to the common language. I didn’t want to give anyone the idea we were planning something behind their backs. That could turn sour very quickly.

    “Habit of yours, isn’t it? Also, what possessed you to wander into that cave?” I said, preparing to give her a good scolding.

    “Well, you did it too, didn’t you?” Liorah said, rolling her eyes in the most exasperating manner.

    “That ill-mannered horse of yours literally shoved me inside. I’m never going into those tunnels again,” I said, with a shudder.

    I was just about to resume my scolding when I noticed someone behind Liorah. In the dim light, it looked like a girl. She stood on uncertain legs, one hand firmly planted on the wall. A large black-and-white dog lay on the ground next to her, a bandage wrapped around its midsection. From what I could see, the girl was staring in my direction, but not at anything. I looked over my shoulder to see if something had popped up behind me. I wouldn’t even have been surprised, but there was nothing.

    I realized she must have spoken before, but Liorah hadn’t heard her in the excitement.

    I nodded in the girl’s direction and Liorah spun around. Then, she grabbed me by the sleeve and practically dragged me after her. I was more worried about her painful limp than anything else.

    “Stop storming around on that leg,” I commanded.

    “You can’t tell me what to do,” Liorah said, reflexively.

    We reached the girl and Liorah stopped.

    “Riure, this is my brother, Gavril. Gav, this is Riure, a friend of mine.”

    The girl looked in the direction of Liorah’s voice, but her eyes were fixed somewhere off Liorah’s shoulder. I shot Liorah a questioning glance and she replied by mouthing She’s blind.

    Finally, I understood. So that was it.

    “Pleased to meet you, Riure,” I said, quietly.

    _________________


    @joelle-stone

    _______

    I have to confess, I love writing Gavril and Liorah together mostly because of the excessive amounts of sarcasm. It’s glorious. 

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124472
    Wingiby Iggiby
    @wingiby-iggiby

    @joelle-stone

    You and Rose say Dancrow, so Dancrow it is!!! I’m actually glad, bc I think he is the one who needs most of the development out of the 3. 😉


    @rose-colored-fancy

    IKR!? Every time I mention to my family that a character ‘surprised me’ or I ‘found out something new’ or they ‘won’t cooperate’, I get comments like “But.. You thought them up? You created them, you have complete control.” No. Nonono. That’s not how it works XD

    Right?? No one gets it but a fellow writer! We must stick together!

    I totally understand that! I get that too XD

    Phew, so I’m not a scaredy-cat!

    Ooh, your characters sound awesome! I vote Dancrow! He sounds so cool! If you’re planning to bring in two, my second vote is Weslow. (No offense to Candy 😉 If you bring in Dancrow, it’ll be awesome to see him interact with Gavril, since they’re both natural leaders. That means there’ll either be enormous conflict, or they’ll work together. I have no idea which XD

    Thank you! And yes, I think I’ll drag Weslow in at some point. It’ll actually be interesting: Dancrow is a patriot, but Weslow is an enemy soldier! And Gavril is so cool!!! Like, its nice to have another character that isn’t completely brash, LOL 😛 And I love how he interacts with Liorah: it is realistic, bc I know from experience that sibs often give compliments by throwing insults.


    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Rosario’s fear is so sad!! 🙁 I sincerely hope that at the end of your book she is comforted/healed/helped in some way! Please tell me she is, or I will have a total breakdown! (You do not want to see me have a breakdown)

    I light the arrow, pull the bow,
    Shoot that fire right through my soul.

    #124473
    Wingiby Iggiby
    @wingiby-iggiby

    And here I say goodbye to the High-lord of Banerow and the young Heir!

    WYLO RENI

    I wake up, my head reeling. My worst fears compiled into yet another terrible dream when I fell asleep: I had seen my brother, and what a wreck I had made of him. Then I saw what he was doing to Banerow, how his actions — MY ACTION — affected the lands even across the water. I saw the people suffering. I saw their weeping and their pain, and, as I walked the streets of the city, I saw their sorrow turn to malicious anger as they saw me and knew my deeds. I had done the opposite of what I dreamed: I always wanted to help them, but instead, I put myself first and corrupted the world.

    And then the worst part, the part I always wake up at.

    When I try to heal Waynot and it doesn’t work. Then, I see his eyes go blue for a second, and he’s crying. He’s asking me to help him, but I can’t. And then — he kills me.

    That’s when I wake up now.

    And then I leap to my feet.

    I’m not in the cave. I’m back in MY cave, across the sea from Banerow. Was it a dream inside a dream? Then a searing pain shoots up my leg, and I know it couldn’t be. Not at all. But, how???

    I shake my head and sit back down again, folding my arms on the table and resting my forehead on them. Has all these years in this cave finally caught up with me? I’m so tired, and I cannot comprehend all of this right now. I just need sleep….I just need peace, peace from all of this. My life has never had peace, and even in sleep, I don’t have any…but I just need sleep right now…

    KIARKUS RENI

    I sit bolt upright with a wail of “stop!”

    “Stop,” instead of “no,” had been the first word I learned as a baby. Now, I cry it as I look around me frantically, confused beyond belief. “Stop!” I whisper, as if I could get the whole world to stop being unfathomable with that one little word.

    I am no longer wherever I was, with Wylo. I am sitting on the log across from the stream, but the forest is a forest again, not a tropical jungle.

    I sit here for several minutes, unblinking, uncomprehending.

    I run a hand through my hair and feel some crusty blood. Did I fall crossing the stream, and did I just black out? No, I feel little pin pricks all around my head, and it was all too real anyhow. But how???

    I stand up, waver, and then get control of myself again.

    “Well, Kiark old boy,” I say in as strong a voice I can muster, “you are the Heir of Banerow, and a little dream can’t hurt, you can it? Now get going, stop being so nutty!”

    I continue on into the forest, and I can’t help but to keep a look out for my uncle along with the silver-haired girl. I wonder about him — he is not the man I once knew. Has all my family gone off the rails? And will I be next?

    ***************************************************************************************************

    Ok, now I introduce Dan to you via an interview, bc I thought that would be fun! 😀

    DANCROW CART

    What do you look like?

    You mean, what I would like to say I look like, or what I really look like? Ok, got ya. I’ve got thick, chocolate brown hair *slicks it back with his hand* same colored eyes, and a bit of a round face. Yeah, not as chiseled as I would like — like Royal’s. I’m also pretty tall, not too muscular, but I can pack a punch.

    What are you wearing?

    *Rolls eyes* Do you have eyes? God gave us eyes for a reason, ya know. Ok, I get it. I’m wearing a black coat with a stiff collar and our symbol painted one the back; its a lavender-purple somber moon, dripping toward the bottom. Cool, right? I’ve got, of course, a shirt underneath that, and I have on black pants, and gray shoes. No, I am not a gang member. I am the leader of a team of saboteurs, and I don’t exactly want to walk around in white in the middle of the night, right?

    What are you like?

    Hmmm, you haven’t got a clue yet, huh? ……. You want me to speak from the bottom of my heart? To total strangers? Phew…. Uh *looks away and then up at the ceiling* Can I just write it down and show nobody?

    “I seem pretty badass on the outside, which, of course, I like; but I’m actually sorta timid. Not scared, I just want everything to go right and I’m terrified of messing up. I don’t want to hurt anybody, but I really really want to up our activity and deal a big blow to Dolmer Klyde. I just don’t know exactly how to do that, and while I want to be our leader, I hope I can do it well enough.”

    Worst fear?

    Like you haven’t bombarded me with this stuff enough already? Ok *whispers* I’m afraid of not amounting to the hero I want to be, losing those I love, and living under Dolmer Kyle’s reign.

    Best trait?

    *Sighs* Alright, I’m somewhat funny? I’m strong, unafraid mostly, calm when under stress, etc.

    Worst trait?

    Uggg, uhhh, well…. I’m a bit vain, hehe. I sometimes don’t think about the consequences for myself and others, and….I’m a bit self-focused? ARE WE DONE NOW? Oh, yeah, and I have a slight temper. *Winks*

    I light the arrow, pull the bow,
    Shoot that fire right through my soul.

    #124508
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @wingiby-iggiby

    And Gavril is so cool!!! Like, its nice to have another character that isn’t completely brash, LOL   And I love how he interacts with Liorah: it is realistic, bc I know from experience that sibs often give compliments by throwing insults.

    Thank you! Let’s face it, Liorah’s brash enough for both of them XD And IKR! I was completely writing from experience XD

    Aww! Farewell, Kiark and Wylo! You were awesome!

    Please tell me when/if you need beta-readers/critique partners! The little hints I’m getting at the plot are fascinating and I’d LOVE to read it!

    *Waves* Hi Dan! Nice to meet you! This will be fun!

    Liorah: Fun? FUN? Whenever you say ‘fun’ it means torture!

    Gavril: What are you talking about now?

    Liorah: *spitefully* Oh, haven’t you heard? Rose– 

    Me: *Clicks away document and hides it* As I said, fun!

    I love the interview style and he sounds like a fascinating character!

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124509
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    @wingiby-iggiby,

    Aw, goodbye Wylo and Kiark! 🙁 And hello Dancrow! He sounds like quite the character. XD

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124511
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    “That ill-mannered horse of yours literally shoved me inside. I’m never going into those tunnels again,” the voice continued.

    Riure stifled a laugh. Imagine a horse shoving someone around! It sounded like a fairly smart and loyal horse, kind of like Sadiq. But much bigger. Probably. Maybe it would make a good guide horse. That time a huff of air did escape Riure’s lips. A guide horse!

    Princess Liorah didn’t reply, but Riure heard her limp headed across the room towards her. Slight moans and shuffling sounds indicated that others were awaking.

    “Stop storming around on that leg,” Male Voice commanded.

    As if on cue, the princess replied defiantly, “You can’t tell me what to do.”

    Their voices were close, and their footsteps – one light, fast, and limping; the other slow, like strides, and heavy – had stopped.

    “Riure, this is my brother, Gavril,” Princess Liorah said. Riure turned in her direction and offered a smile. “Gav, this is Riure, a friend of mine.”

    A friend? Riure hadn’t thought they were close enough for that title yet, but she gladly accepted it. She had only been friends with a princess once before, and Lytt wasn’t as much a princess as she was a chief’s daughter.

    “Pleased to meet you, Riure,” Male Voice – Gavril – said quietly.

    Riure smiled in his direction and bobbed a short curtsy. “The same, Prince Gavril. Your sister has told me much about you.”

    Princess Liorah snorted, and that was too much for Riure. She laughed.

    ——————-


    @rose-colored-fancy

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124514
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Liorah

    Riure bobbed a small curtsy.

    “The same, Prince Gavril. Your sister has told me much about you.”

    I tried to keep the smile from forming, but it was no use. What had I told her again? Oh.

    I tried to stifle it, but I snorted with laughter. I’d told her Gavril was as ugly as the beasts that attacked us.

    Riure started laughing too, her bright, silvery laughter a sharp contrast to my unladylike snorts.

    Gavril shot me a withering look.

    “I don’t even want to know.”

    I couldn’t stop giggling, especially when I saw how hard he was trying to maintain his dignity.

    “Whatever it was, I know she was lying,” Gavril said, in the tired tone he reserved especially for me.

    “Truer words I have never spoken,” I said, gravely.

    Riure started laughing even harder.

    Gavril rolled his eyes.

    “This is coming from the person who went around convincing everyone who would listen that ‘especially’ was pronounced ‘ekspeshialy.'” Gavril said, mercilessly.

    “I was seven!” I flushed. Gavril had a talent for remembering embarrassing memories to use as ammunition in our argument.

    Gavril grinned, satisfied that he had gotten his revenge.

     

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124520
    Wingiby Iggiby
    @wingiby-iggiby

    @rose-colored-fancy

    Aww! Farewell, Kiark and Wylo! You were awesome!

    Kiark: Thank you, dear lady! *bows* Wylo: *says nothing at all and just walks away* 😛

    Please tell me when/if you need beta-readers/critique partners! The little hints I’m getting at the plot are fascinating and I’d LOVE to read it!

    Aw, thank you so much!! I’ll definitely keep you in mind!! I’m still mostly in the development stage, but once I get the writing going, I’d really appreciate it!

    I love the interview style and he sounds like a fascinating character!

    Thank you! 😀 I should also add a few bits of info that I forgot in my annoying forgetfulness:

    His weapons are as follows: a small pistol and a pocket knife.

    He acts differently around different people. He is rather mouthy when nervous around a bunch of new people, as shown in his interview. When around friends, he is a little less of a goof-ball, LOL It’s sorta backwards 😛


    @joelle-stone

    Yes, he is quite the character *wipes brow* and I need help working him out, XD He’s got a lot going on, and if y’all have any critique, I will gladly take it! 😀

    I light the arrow, pull the bow,
    Shoot that fire right through my soul.

    #124525
    Jasmine
    @jasmine

    @this-is-not-an-alien

     

    Sweet as he was, Ehud also had this pretty rebellious streak, especially when he thought he could help if he persisted. Her demand guaranteed he wasn’t going to comply.

    I loved that part! The part where it said, “Her demand guaranteed he wasn’t going to comply.” reminded me of my three-year-old brother.

     

     

     

     

    “Do you wanna talk about it,” Ehud asked, plopping to the ground and scrubbing his face with the back of his sleeve, “or maybe just sit here?”

    Gwendolyn blinked in surprise. Talk about what? Her dream? The mirror? He couldn’t be talking about the dream, could he? Why couldn’t he just scamper away and let her think?

    “Um … no.” Gwendolyn said. Then she heard Liorah’s voice and movement behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Liorah embracing another person. Gwendolyn turned around. She didn’t recognize the other person. He was a man, tall and strong looking and resembled a older male version of Liorah.

    Liorah dragged him over to The blind girl and the three quickly started talking and laughing. Gwendolyn frowned. Who was he? He seemed to know Liorah. Maybe her brother?

    A though struck Gwendolyn, “I’ll be back.” She said to Ehud without turning around. She started trotting toward the trio but slowed to a walk as her shoulder gave a jolt of pain in protest. She could use her arm if things got serious, but hopefully they would be getting out of here soon. She was hoping Liorah’s new friend would know the way out.

    “This is coming from the person who went around convincing everyone who would listen that ‘especially’ was pronounced ‘ekspeshialy.’” the man said as Gwendolyn walked up. “I was seven!” Liorah exclaimed.

    “I’m sorry to interrupt,” Gwendolyn said softly, touching Liorah’s shoulder, “but does he know the way out?” She nodded toward the man.

    I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

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