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Character Castle 2.0

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  • #124211
    Wingiby Iggiby
    @wingiby-iggiby

    KIARK

    The ground was cold, clammy cold, and damp. I could feel it seeping through my tunic. My muscles were cramped, and I cracked my neck as I slowly sat up to get my bearings.

    All I saw was black.

    I leapt to my feet, my heart suddenly going like a racehorse’s. “Great Klyde,” I whispered hoarsely, staring all around me. It was so dark, so black, I could almost feel it. “Great jumping Klyde,” I repeated, so shaky I didn’t know what else to say. Where was I?

    I drew my sword, the ringing sound somewhat muffled in the heavy darkness, and took a step forward, my free hand held out in front of me. After several paces, I felt a smooth wall, like polished granite. I felt terror rise in my chest and bile in my throat.

    I followed along the wall and after several feet it met another wall in another corner. I walked all around, and there were four corners — four corners cornering me in, sealing me in a dark chamber with no apparent way out. There wasn’t even a barred window. I shivered, and it all came back in a rush.

    The strange castle, the fight with the beasts in the cave, and Wylo….I must have blacked out.

    Was I dead? Was this what Harn (Hell) was like? It certainly couldn’t be Paradise (Heaven). Or was I just sleeping and hallucinating? I shook my head; can’t start thinking about things like that. Somehow, the castle and its tricks must have put me here. There had to be an exit of some kind, somewhere.

    I was still so shaken I couldn’t curse, so I sheathed my sword and started leaping at the walls to see if there was any ledge to grab. Then I tried scrambling up, but I promptly slid down the sides. I felt about on the floor; no hatch, no nothing. I really started to panic now, racing a few steps this way till I came to a wall and then a few steps the other way.

    I have to stay calm!

    I took several deep breaths and started to sing in a trembling voice. Singing always comforted me, even if my voice wasn’t as great as I would have liked. It was always easier to think when singing, too: to think of what I could possibly do.

    “I lost her to another man,
    Sweeeeet Sarline.
    Didn’t know gold when I had it in my hand,
    Sweeeeet Sarline.”

    My words came out full of a rush of air, and I stopped to catch my breath, feeling slightly better. If I was doomed to stay here forever and sing, I couldn’t help it, could I?

    “What can I do to get you back?
    Sweeeet Sarline.
    Without you my world is black–”

    I cringed at that line and stopped to think of another song, something more cheerful and with a happier tune. It was then, however, that I heard a footfall. I whirled around, drawing my sword and taking up a fighting stance, ready for anything — except this.

    What I saw nearly stopped my heart.

    A man stood about a few feet away from me, and at least a few inches taller. His head and short beard were reddish-gold, his body trim and muscular. He was wearing a light blue tunic and leggings and a great cape of shining gold. On his head was a shimmering golden band. And when he lifted his face towards me, his eyes were of the darkest sapphire.

    My jaw opened slightly in surprise, and I could only mouth the word “father?” like a total idiot.

    Then my body grew rigid and I braced myself for the fight. But Waynot Reni, High-Ark of Banerow, only looked at me with eyes deep and sorrowful, a look that went straight to my heart — and I realized then that he was my father As Before; I knew it.

    I was over to him in an instant. We stood almost eye to eye; I had never noticed before. I found the words pouring out of my mouth before I knew I was speaking, and felt the passion rising in my heart. I was so relieved, so relieved that he wasn’t mad, that I wouldn’t have to confront him — so relieved that I forgot to be angry with him.

    “I know you didn’t mean to do those things. It wasn’t really you, was it? I know it wasn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t do, didn’t try to, well, something, sooner.” I was still confused, and my words were completely falling apart. But father just put his hands on my shoulders. I looked into his eyes, and they were the loving, gentle eyes I had stared into ever since I was a little boy. I forgot all about the dark room.

    “You could have done nothing, son, and I should be apologizing. You have been strong, so strong. There is so much mystery, and I shall try to explain it to the best of my abilities–”

    Then it happened. His arms dropped, and he looked away. I stood there, startled and with a sinking feeling in my chest, a let down feeling. And when he looked up at me again, a terrified feeling.

    His eyes were reeling. They were red and black. And he snarled like a wild beast.

    “Father,” I said, surprising myself by sounding calm. “Don’t. Please don’t.”

    He drew his sword and leapt at me, and all my calm left.

    “Father, stop!”

    I blocked his blow and stepped to the side. “Please!”

    He stabbed again and I jerked my body away just in time. I kept backing away, moving in a circle in the small, dark, square room. He followed me, his strikes increasing in intensity with each thrust. I kept swerving and blocking, because I couldn’t stab back. I couldn’t.

    But I couldn’t let him kill me, could I?

    I didn’t know what to do. A hero would die. But right now, I’m not a hero; I’m just a little boy. A boy who wasn’t ever ready for this; a boy who doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but who is numb and only responding to instinct. “Father,” I whisper, “I’m sorry.”

    I parry another blow, and then I grunt and drive my blade forward. I hear the strange sound of metal entering flesh, feel my sword enter his chest, and hear Waynot’s gasp. He collapses to the floor, and I stare at his body in shock. The blood starts to seep through his clothes. Soon, it is pooling on the floor, and I don’t know how long I have been standing here, staring, unbelieving, aghast. So confused.

    I have killed my own father.

    I kneel down by his side and put a hand on his chest. I pray there will be a beat, but there isn’t. My palm comes up red with blood. So I pick up one of his hands, rough hands, hands that had seemed so big to me as a child, and I hold it tight between mine and try to remember him the way he was Before. There is something about someone’s hands, more so than their face, that brings you comfort. Maybe it is because it is the hands that comfort you, pick you up when you fall, and pat your back when you do good.

    Whatever made you that way, father, I don’t know. But I don’t think you could help it. I’m not mad at you anymore.

    How long I sit here, I don’t know. But when I look up, blinking to see through my tears, I see that the wall in front of me is no longer black. It is misty, a light pink color, and as I stare, I start to see pictures.

    It is the Palace Meolo. It is the balcony outside my room, the one that looks out over the palace gardens and on into the bustling city. I see a picture of me, sitting back in a lounge chair, and standing at the railing is Rosprey, one of my men. He turns to look at the me in the picture and I see the badge of the Talent, Private Command to the High-Ark, on his shoulder. I smile. Sometime in the future, then, he will be one of my closest buddies. When I get back….I shake my head and look down, then jump to my feet in astonishment and fear. Father’s body is gone.

    Then I snarl with new realization. The castle. It did this to me. It tricked me! It hurt me on purpose! This was not real! I must not look at the misty picture! It is trying to torment me. Nevertheless, I find my eyes turning to the side and find myself watching…

    Rosprey is gesticulating and talking to the me in the picture, smiling. But then, after a minute or two, I see myself get up, and I see myself starting to shout at him. Rosprey looks first confused, then hurt. Soon he is yelling back at me and we are both arguing back and forth. I see my hand go to my side, and I watch as I draw a strange hand weapon out of a pocket and point it at him, still shouting.

    Rosprey puts his arms up, and his face goes white. At that moment, a bunch of people rush onto the balcony, and I recognize some of the soldiers. They tackle me just as a cloud of smoke spouts from the weapon and blows into the air above Rosprey’s head. I watch myself struggling, and see I draw a knife against them. It looks as if I have inhuman strength. It takes all six of them to finally bind me with sheets from the room.

    I can’t believe what I am seeing.

    Then, they start to carry me away, and next I see myself sitting in a dungeon — the same one I was in before. The me in the picture looks at me, and I see his eyes are red and wheeling.

    No.

    I fall to my knees.

    NO.

    “Castle,” I sob, not able to think, “stop this. I don’t want to see anymore. Bring me back home!”

    *************************************************************************************************

    Ummmm….. ok, that was me being a total drama queen 😛 Sorry it was so long! I got totally carried away! In case that was confusing, it was basically Kiark’s three fears: claustrophobia, fear of facing his father and what he would do when he did, and fear of becoming as mad as Waynot.


    @joelle-stone

    Riure’s fear is so legit! I love it! I hurt for her 🙁 It is really a fear that we can all attest to!


    @mischievous-thwapling

    Yes, bring terrible pain to your poor characters, because even though they don’t know, it is for their good!


    @jasmine

    Your totally welcome! Keep it up! 😀

    I light the arrow, pull the bow,
    Shoot that fire right through my soul.

    #124215
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @joelle-stone

    Thank you so much! I love Riure’s fear, and I totally agree with Wingiby! I think it’s something all of us relate to 🙁 I love how you wrote it, and her reaction after the dream!

    And that has to be one of the worst pieces I’ve ever written, so sorry about that.

    Nooo! That was brilliant! I loved it!

    Me: She’s never going to laugh again. *melts into puddle of absolute sympathy and self-anger and terrible sadness* You literally just destroyed your favorite cheerful character, Joelle. You are awful.

    Other me: *moans* I know!

    Aww, poor Riure! I just love how everyone’s comforting their characters. And Liorah’s hurling shoes at me. *Siiigghh*


    @wingiby-iggiby

    I just love how y’all join in with me

    Of course we do! There’s ice cream!! XD

    And that was a wonderful worst fear!! (well, the fear isn’t wonderful, but you get what I mean) It was very unique and shows more of Liorah!! And I love what she said to Ehud

    Thank you so much! I love how Liorah is really bossy confident, but she’s actually so insecure. I discovered that pretty recently, so I have to change a lot of things in the book.

    Yeah, I was really surprised when she started comforting Ehud! I discovered Liorah can’t bear to see anyone cry. Well, specifically people she feels like she needs to protect. She’ll just pick out a few people and practically mother them, while she leaves everyone else to take care of themselves XD

    Kiark: Let me make your worst dream come true. *draws sword*

    Me: *slams computer shut to trap him inside the doc.* I will never. do. that. again!

    LOL! That was great!

    Your post was amazing! I practically saw all of it! Amazing! I feel so sorry for Kiark! He has really relatable fears, the claustrophobic one especially! I love it when characters have phobias, though not many of mine do. Gavril hates complete darkness though, mostly when he can’t do anything about it.


    @mischievous-thwapling

    And btw….As soon as I’m done with this worst fear thing, I’m going to bring you-know-who in…

    Oooh! I’m getting curious!!

    THAT POST WAS SO COOL!! It added this whole new dimension to Liorah!!

    Thank you so much! I’m glad y’all liked the post!


    @jasmine

    Sometimes I wonder what they would do to us if they where the ones writing our stories.

    Liorah: *Reading over my shoulder, as usual.* Oooh! I like this!*Grins evilly* Payback time.

    Me: nO. Nononono! We’re not doing that! *Closes Liorah’s document so she goes away* Whew. That was close.

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124217
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Liorah

    The blind girl started awake, peered around wildly, then broke down crying. My stomach clenched and I pushed myself to my feet. I didn’t have anything better to do anyway, and I knew how horrible it was to wake up from a nightmare all alone.

    The sinking feeling of being so completely alone and friendless, with the dread of the nightmare still close, was awful, and I didn’t want her to go through it like I just had. I wanted to be her friend.

    I limped across the cave, my boots clicking an irregular pattern on the stone floor. I tried not to wake anyone, but I had more important matters on my mind. My leg ached with every step, but I managed to stay on my feet until I reached her. I sank down beside her, clenching my teeth and smothering a moan of pain. I had to stop walking that much.

    I gently touched the girl’s shoulder so she would know where I was.

    “Hey, I’m Liorah. What’s your name?”

    Her dog raised its head, still sleepy. It gave a half-hearted growl and I froze, then held out my hand so the dog could smell it.

    “Shh, good dog.”

    It was a beautiful animal, with thick black and white fur and an intelligent expression.

    “Nightmare?” I asked, without looking at the girl. “I think it’s the castle doing it. I had one too. You know, the usual stuff. I’m a disgrace, I’ll never be good enough, I’ve disappointed everyone, you know the kind. And my brother screamed at me.”

    I tried to keep the pain out of my voice, but it wasn’t working. Despite my valiant effort to sound flippant and casual, I only sounded strained and tired. The walking hadn’t done my leg any favors, and even though I knew it was only a dream, it had felt so real. The image of the disgust on Gavril’s face when he saw me made me feel sick. He didn’t really feel like that about me, did he?

    “You did a great job in the battle. You were braver than any warrior, especially with the laughing.” I gently brushed a tousel of hair away from her forehead. “I can’t imagine going through that without seeing them. Then again, they’re not much to look at. Ugly beasts, every last one of them.” I grinned. “Almost as bad as my brother.”

    That was unfair to Gavril, who was actually quite handsome, but it made me feel better to make fun of him. He wouldn’t mind. He never did.

    “Where are you from, and how did you get here?”

    I stroked her dog’s head. His fur was thick and so soft. Across the cave, a motion caught my eye in the faint light of Ehud’s pink pony. Kiark rolled over, though he was still asleep.

    I relaxed, slightly. That must be good! At least he wasn’t lying so horribly still anymore.

    ___________

    Me: You’re so adorable!

    Liorah: *Rolls eyes and sighs* For the last time, I’m not cute.

    Me: *Ruffles her hair* You are, stop denying it.

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124227
    Jasmine
    @jasmine

    @wingiby-iggiby

    Kiark’s  fear was really interesting! The madness he was afraid of was super creepy\interesting\cool. I like the way you combined his three greatest fears. I also liked the way he sang to comfort himself. I can relate to that, lol.

     

     

     


    @rose-colored-fancy

     

    Liorah: *Reading over my shoulder, as usual.* Oooh! I like this!*Grins evilly* Payback time. Me: nO. Nononono! We’re not doing that! *Closes Liorah’s document so she goes away* Whew. That was close.

    Yea, that pretty much sums it up.😅

     

    Gwendolyn awoke, trembling. Her breath came in a quick gasps and her eyes darted around the room until her mind finally came to the realization that she had been dreaming.

    She squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to take a deep breath. But when she shut her eyes, two more icy blue eyes stared back at her from her dream. She quickly opened her eyes and controlled her breathing.

    It had been so vivid. She was shaving a hard time believing it had been a dream. She couldn’t stop thinking about those hurt, hopeful eyes. They haunted her mind like a ghost. A ghost  that wouldn’t stop shouting about her failure and fear.

    She blinked away the remains of sleep and rested her eyes on Liorah who was softly comforting the blind girl. Gwendolyn let the gentle words comfort her own mind and stoped shaking. She took another deep breath, pushed the dream from her mind as well as she could, and sat upright, wincing at the fiery twinge in her shoulder. She stretched her other arm and glanced at Rosario  who was now sleeping, then Ehud, who was now watching the passage.  she adjusted the sling, stood up and walked over to Ehud. She taped his shoulder, “I can take my shift now if you want to get some rest.” She whispered, trying to stay quiet.

     

    I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

    #124237
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    You asked the right person! XD. I know three languages (four if you count Latin, and five if you count understanding but not speaking German) I speak Afrikaans, Dutch, and English. (English is my third language and my favorite.) Tell me if you want to know any phrases in any of those languages, or if you want any pointers on writing multilingual characters. There are some things that authors get wrong consistently, (Switching from one language to the other is the easiest thing in the world.) so tell me if you want to know some tips! The first thing that comes to mind is that you constantly blank out on words, even in your mother tongue, and even if you actually know them. Example: I just completely blanked out on the word “sentence” while writing Liorah’s part below and literally just sat staring at the screen like “Vonnis. Come on, what’s English for vonnis? I know this!” I had to resort to looking it up. *Sigh*

    That is AMAZING!!! Like I never would’ve guessed in a million years English wasn’t your first language you’re so fluent! That’s so cool, you’ve gotta teach me! And yes please teach me how to write multilingual characters accurately, I have quite a few bilingual and multilingual character and I really wanna learn more there. Do bilingual/multilingual people frequently use syntax or phraseology of a different language from what they’re speaking so like how in Latin the adjective usually goes after the noun but in English the adjective usually goes before noun would someone be prone to using their mother-tongue’s grammatical rules in another language and confusing people? (well that was a very long confusing sentence, sorry I hope it makes sense).

    In Dutch, there are a couple of ways of saying ‘shut up’, all of which are hilarious. You can say: ‘Hou je kop (dicht)!’, the literal translation is “hold your head (shut)”. Or, my personal favorite: “Hou je waffel!” Which translates to “hold your waffle.” I have no idea where that comes from, but it never fails to be funny. Dutch has the weirdest sayings, and when you translate them literally, they become twice as funny!

    That’s awesome! Can you teach me Dutch? I’ve always wanted to learn a new language and those saying are so funny!
    How do you say ‘hi how are you?’ In Dutch informally and how in more ‘correct’/formal way?
    How many different forms of slang are their in your mother-language? I know Ehud talks in a kinda grammatically incorrect Southern teen way and Rosario’s 1st person is usually more getto gang-speak and all.
    Oh where are you from and what’s your home like and I’m asking too many questions?

    “Ehud? You know, I found out something really interesting.” You mean like how it’s actually the male seahorse that gets pregnant? Ehud bobbed up and stared at Liorah, fumbling with his glow-in-the-dark pony. Her tone seemed to indicate it was a different kind of interesting though.
    “I’ve known many who claimed to be wise, many who prided themselves on their riches, or their power, or their might.” she said and Ehud mentally ran through the list pretty sure he didn’t have any of those, but she did say claimed so they didn’t seem very important. “But I’ve found that those, despite all they have, are often rude, cruel, poor, and foolish. And I’ve met those that have treasure greater than all of them, despite what the world might say.”
    Dropping to the ground beside her, Ehud turned the pink pony up and down so its light refracted against the walls weirdly like it were alive, without paying attention to what he was doing. He was fascinated by Liorah’s voice; he wasn’t used to hearing someone use a gentle tone like that.
    “Those who are kind. You’re one of them, and I’m glad I’ve met you.” The pony froze. Ehud ducked between his shoulders and tilted his head at her as he turned pink. His brain couldn’t catch up to the words in time because it had never really occurred to him. Liorah smiled and shoved herself up. Sure, maybe he was kind but just about everybody was in their own way, he didn’t think was particularly…well anything other than weird. Wait, she was standing on her hurt leg and he needed to help her!
    Jumping up Ehud made a move to help but thought better of it then changed his mind and by the time he’d decided whether or not it was appropriate to help she had already sat down. Ehud blinked still trying to reconcile himself to what she’d said. “But…well, um, well Riure’s kind, and Rosy’s kind,” He started babbling but Ehud wasn’t actually paying attention to whether or not anyone was listening he just had to say it. Even though his only audience was the glowing pony (named Sprinkles). “And you’re kind and…Wylo I’m not sure I think he’s kind to Kiark but I’m not sure…oh and Mr Fai…Allen, he’s kind…”
    At an off noise, Ehud looked up. Riure was crying and Liorah had gone to comfort her. Instinctively he glanced around to see if anyone was actually asleep.
    “…think it’s the castle doing it. I had on too. You know, the usual stuff. I’m a disgrace, I’ll never be good enough, I’ve disappointed everyone, you know the kind. And my brother screamed at me.”
    Ehud blinked and rubbed his eyes. Then he jumped nearly yelping when somebody tapped his shoulder.
    “I can take my shift now if you want to get some rest.” Gwen whispered. Ehud raked his hair but I just got this job…By now he was confused and trying to figure out if people were sleeping or just pretend-sleeping now.
    “Oh. Did you get a nightmare to? It’s ok, I think Lord Castle’s mad again.”

     


    @wingiby-iggiby

    Oh man, Kiark’s worst fear was such an intense read, it was really good!

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #124256
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

     

    That is AMAZING!!! Like I never would’ve guessed in a million years English wasn’t your first language you’re so fluent!

    Thank you so much!

    And thank you for allowing me to infodump! I didn’t want to do it randomly, but I do enjoy infodumping!

    Now, small warning, I’m basing all of this on myself and my multilingual friends, so none of these are hard and fast rules.

    Do bilingual/multilingual people frequently use syntax or phraseology of a different language from what they’re speaking?

    Hmm, this is a tricky question, and the closest answer I can give is, it depends. Allow me to elaborate!

    The way I think of knowing multiple languages, is by having an imaginary box for each language. Everything about the language is in that box, grammar, vocab, syntax, etc.

    Now, many people who only speak one language think that all the languages go in the same box and you might grab the wrong word/grammar by accident, but that’s not how it works. Every language has its own box, and when you’re speaking that language, you’ll use the grammar/vocab in that language-box, and not any of those in the other ones.

    You won’t blend in words from other languages by accident. You may do this on purpose, but the only time you’ll mix up words is when you genuinely don’t know it in that language, and then it won’t be an accident. Or if you blank, as aforementioned.

    (I hope my box metaphor makes some semblance of sense XD)

    BUT! It does happen sometimes because you can genuinely forget. I have occasionally literally translated a saying and used it, thinking it was correct. This doesn’t only happen in your second/weaker language, I’ve translated English sayings into my mother-tongue and used that. It confuses everyone XD

    Also, some stuff just slips past and you might make a mistake. But, there’ll always be someone who’ll “helpfully” correct you, in the most patronizing tone possible. (Hear the sarcasm.) “Yes, Karen. I know I used the wrong article. You understood me, didn’t you? Hold your waffle and mind your business.”

    Some people are crazy elitist about how you speak ‘their’ language, so someone always corrects you when you make a mistake.

    A German friend of mine once called someone ‘long’ instead of tall, because that’s how you say it in German (And Dutch). Stuff like that happens to everyone, especially when you’re tired/distracted. And it’ll happen a lot more if one language is considerably weaker than the other. It’ll also depend on how young you were when you learned it. If you learned it when you were older, you’ll probably struggle more and make more mistakes.

    Another cool thing about languages is that when you’re really upset you’ll default into your mother-tongue. You might be fumbling for words you’d usually know because your thoughts are completely raw and you don’t have the composure to translate.

    The same thing happens when you’re badly hurt. You might use an exclamation of pain from your mother tongue, even if you haven’t used it in years. (That’s a personal experience, but I’ve read the same thing.)

    Another thing I see a lot is when characters just randomly switch languages while speaking to characters who don’t share the language. This is a bit iffy because it isn’t something you’d commonly do.

    It really depends on who you’re talking to, for example, I’d never, ever, ever speak Afrikaans to a Dutch person in casual conversation because they look at you like you’re a three-headed caterpillar that fell from Mars.

    But, if I’m close to someone, I might. If you’re familiar with the person and you know they won’t judge you, you might use a few words, especially stuff you can’t translate well. So, Rosario’s carino and idiota are perfectly fine! Also, if you want to use phrases in different languages, just put them in the narration! That’ll work just fine, and it reads more naturally since thoughts are messier than dialogue.

    How do you say ‘hi how are you?’ In Dutch informally and how in more ‘correct’/formal way?

    There are several ways, but here are some of the most common ones:

    “Hoi! Alles goed?” (Hey, everything okay?) Casual, you’d use it with someone you already know.

    “Hallo, hoe gaat het met u/jou?” (Hello, how are you?) Formal. Dutch has a respect pronoun, u instead of je. Both mean you, but you’d use u with a considerably older person or someone in authority. You’d also use it in a more formal setting. Oddly enough, this is one of my favorite things about Dutch. It makes everyone think you’re extremely polite, even though otherwise you talk normally.

    How many different forms of slang are their in your mother-language?

    Oooh! This is my favorite thing! I’m going to use Dutch instead of my actual mother-tongue since it’s a lot more interesting.

    Dutch has a freakish amount of dialects and accents. It’s crazy! You can literally tell where someone lives as soon as they say “Good morning”. There are at least ten dialects, but you can subdivide them roughly into regions. Also interesting, there’s a lot of joking back and forth about the regions, and they all have their stereotypes, all of which are funny:

    Friesland (Far north.): Basically a country, complete with their own language, flag, and anthem. They have a completely different language, and I won’t go into that now.

    East: Hillbillies and cow farmers. Enough said.

    West: Posh city people.

    South: They talk funny, and they have hills mountains!

    Even though the Netherlands is tiny, the dialects aren’t even mutually intelligible. They literally sound like different languages.

    Whew, that was fun! If you have any more questions, please ask! I really enjoyed infodumping! And to anyone who read through the whole thing, congratulations XD Sorry if this was too much information!

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by Rose.

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124260
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    @mischievous-thwapling,

    *cackles* Please do! I can’t wait to see what he/she/it does when randomly transported to a random castle with a bunch of really random peoples. XD


    @wingiby-iggiby
    ,

    There is something about someone’s hands, more so than their face, that brings you comfort. Maybe it is because it is the hands that comfort you, pick you up when you fall, and pat your back when you do good.

    *sigh* How true. I have to say that this really reminds me of my grandpa. He has really big hands with really short fingers, lol (mine are as long as his although they are about half as thick), and they are very calloused and strong and warm and… one of my favorite things about him. When I was younger and upset, he’d pick me up and pat my back, and now whenever I’m cold (even if it’s my feet that are cold), he’ll fold his hands around the object to warm it up. I think I’m going to cry now. XD I recently lost both my great-grandpas, so this is kinda tricky for me to emotionally navigate. 🙂


    @rose-colored-fancy
    ,

    *drops into middle of conversation from the ceiling* GASP. How are you so fluent in English?!?! It’s my mother-tongue but still SUCH A PAIN IN THE NECK because of all the exceptions to the rules! (Lol, actually, my older sibling really hates this about English, so he/she got a mug for Christmas that says in large words “I before E except after C”, then has a whole paragraph using all the exceptions they could find. XD It’s great.

    But honestly, how young were you when you learned the languages? Are you just really talented, or is it hard for you to learn one (it’s really hard for me to stick with it)? I’m very impressed.

    Also, what is your mother-tongue, if I may ask?

    And Riure’s going to cry so hard… 🙁

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124270
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @joelle-stone

    I think I’m going to cry now. XD I recently lost both my great-grandpas, so this is kinda tricky for me to emotionally navigate.

    I’m so sorry! *Hugs*

    It’s my mother-tongue but still SUCH A PAIN IN THE NECK because of all the exceptions to the rules!

    I knowww!! It’s such a pain sometimes! And so many words just ‘look’ wrong. Villain, and definitely, for example. (That i shouldn’t be there.)

    he/she got a mug for Christmas that says in large words “I before E except after C”, then has a whole paragraph using all the exceptions they could find. XD It’s great.

    That’s amazing! “I before E except when you plan a heist against your eight weird beige foreign neighbours.” XD The exceptions are the worst parts of any language!

    But honestly, how young were you when you learned the languages? Are you just really talented, or is it hard for you to learn one (it’s really hard for me to stick with it)?

    I’m so sorry if my previous posts sounded braggy, I really didn’t mean it that way. I learned all three when I was really young, so I didn’t really study them, I just sorta picked them up. If I tried to learn another language now, I’d probably struggle a lot!

    Also, what is your mother-tongue, if I may ask?

    My mother tongue is Afrikaans, but I’d say my English is better than my Afrikaans, honestly XD

    And Riure’s going to cry so hard…

    Aww! Don’t let her cry, she’s going to make Liorah cry! (Maybe??) I can’t wait to see her response! I find it kind of funny how Liorah has just basically adopted Riure and Ehud XD It’s an aspect of Liorah I haven’t seen much of yet, but it’s actually quite interesting since it is in character.

    @everyone

    I love Thwap’s idea! I’m actually considering bringing in another character too, but I don’t know which one to pick. I have a couple I need to develop, so tell me which one y’all would like to read about!

    I want to bring in either Sahar and Acyn (I kinda want to bring those two in together, since they’re twice as interesting that way, but I can’t manage three characters at once, so I’d have to take Liorah out.) Or Gavril, or Ferran, one of Liorah and Gavril’s friends. I haven’t written anything out of Ferran’s POV, and Gavril really needs developing in general.

    Tell me which one you guys vote on!

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124271
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    @rose-colored-fancy,

    No! You didn’t sound like you were bragging AT ALL! You sounded like it is a subject you are passionate about and enjoy to talk about, so I was asking questions ’cause I was curious. 🙂

    Haha, yes, that’s so funny! It seems like Riure’s being adopted/protected by pretty much everyone, and neither she nor I mind. 🙂

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124272
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    Someone was walking – limping – directly towards Riure. She smothered her tears as best as she could. I hope I didn’t wake anyone up.

    A hand tentatively brushed Riure’s shoulder as someone lowered his/herself onto the floor. Ehud, maybe?

    “Hey, I’m Liorah.” Not Ehud. This was Princess Liorah. Interesting. Riure hadn’t thought that the princess would come over and start a conversation on her own. “What’s your name?”

    Sadiq moved, and gave a soft warning growl. Riure rested her hand on her dog’s head, silently telling her it was okay.

    Apparently Princess Liorah was making friends. Sadiq sniffed, her sides expanding. “Shh, good dog,” the princess murmured. A moment later Sadiq settled back down, but her body was still tense.

    “Nightmare?” Princess Liorah asked, adjusting her position. “I think it’s the castle doing it. I had one too. You know, the usual stuff. I’m a disgrace, I’ll never be good enough, I’ve disappointed everyone, you know the kind. And my brother screamed at me.”

    Riure’s heart went out to the princess. Obviously she was trying to make light of it, but Riure knew the pain of failure. She didn’t have a brother, but her father hadn’t wanted her, and if her mother had ever screamed at her, Riure probably would have died of sorrow.

    “You did a great job in the battle,” Princess Liorah continued. “You were braver than any warrior, especially with the laughing.” A finger gently brushed some of Riure’s hair out of her face, and Riure turned her head to where the princess must be, cocking her head so that if she wasn’t looking at Princess Liorah, then she could at least tell she was listening. “I can’t imagine going through that without seeing them. Then again, they’re not much to look at. Ugly beasts, every last one of them. Almost as bad as my brother.”

    Riure stifled a laugh. It sounded like Princess Liorah loved her brother.

    “Where are you from, and how did you get here?”

    Riure sighed. “I’m from everywhere, honestly. I haven’t had a true home since I was nine. And to answer a previous question, my name is Riure.” She faltered, unable to bring her father’s name to her lips. “I don’t know how I got here. One second I was on the plains of Kraton with a good friend and Sadiq” -she stroked Sadiq’s silky head- “and the next I was sitting on some grass outside. I don’t even know what this place looks like.” This time her giggle did escape, and Riure clapped and hand over her mouth before she woke someone up. “What about you, princess, if I may ask? And, if you don’t mind, would you tell me what you look like?” Suddenly she felt ashamed. You’re blind, therefore you’re useless. Why do you make it obvious? “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s a really weird habit of mine.”

    ————————————-


    @rose-colored-fancy

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

    #124313
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

     


    @joelle-stone

    You sounded like it is a subject you are passionate about and enjoy to talk about, so I was asking questions ’cause I was curious.

    Ooh, I am! Languages are one of my favorite things to talk about, I adore discussions about Proto-Indo-European and the link between Frisian and Scottish Gaelic, and how some of the Dutch dialects aren’t even in the same linguistic family. (Fascinating stuff!)

    Liorah

    The girl sighed. “I’m from everywhere, honestly. I haven’t had a true home since I was nine. And to answer a previous question, my name is Riure.”

    Riure. The name suited her exactly. (Btw, I LOVE her name!) At least she’d stopped crying so.

    “I don’t know how I got here. One second I was on the plains of Kraton with a good friend and Sadiq–” She stroked the dog’s head, ruffling her fingers through the thick fur. “And the next I was sitting on some grass outside. I don’t even know what this place looks like.”

    A short giggle escaped and Riure clapped her hand over her mouth. I smiled. Thank goodness she was laughing again. It felt wrong to see her cry. Kraton. I turned the name over in my mind, but it didn’t sound familiar. Maybe I should have paid better attention during geography lessons.

    She turned her attention back to me,

    “What about you, princess, if I may ask? And, if you don’t mind, would you tell me what you look like?” As soon as the words escaped her, she flushed scarlet and ducked her head, as though ashamed.

    “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s a really weird habit of mine,” she stammered,

    I hastened to reassure her,

    “It’s alright, I’d like to know what people look like too.” I skillfully avoided the question, circling back to the one she’d asked earlier. I had no idea how to describe myself. I’d never thought about it.

    “I don’t really have a home either, well, not a house, I mean. I do have a home.” I stumbled over my words, trying to explain. Normally, I wouldn’t even have to say anything. One glance at the sapphire on my forehead and everyone knew I was the princess of the Lehabim, and everyone knew the Lehabim were nomadic.

    “Our tribe moves around to fresh pasture. We never stay in one place longer than a few weeks.”

    I leaned back against the wall, thinking back to home. I wished I was back, even though otherwise I wouldn’t have met Ehud and Riure.

    “How I got here? Well, I sort of–” I paused, trying to phrase it in a way that didn’t make me sound like a complete and utter moron. “I was out riding on my mare, and I had some extra time, so I started exploring a cave I found. It was pretty deep, and there was a passage.”

    I was grateful she couldn’t see me blushing. Wandering into the cave had been a ridiculous decision. “Of course, I went inside, to see what was there, but the wall slid back behind me and I couldn’t go back, so I kept going and ended up here. I didn’t even walk that far, but I don’t think we’re in Yerasht anymore…” I said, hesitantly.

    I paused, finally getting to the tricky question. How was I supposed to tell Riure what I looked like? I had a sudden, overwhelming urge to describe myself as the girl from my dream. It wasn’t that far from the truth, just a bit better. And after all, she wouldn’t know. I scowled at myself. I was being ridiculous, and I wasn’t going to lie to her.

    In an impulsive desire to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

    “I have a big nose.”

    Riure giggled again, and I flushed crimson. It was one of the most ridiculous things I’d ever said, even though it was true. I tried to save myself by continuing.

    “I really do. Umm, I’m tall enough that lots of boys stand on tiptoe when they meet me because it’s an overwhelming indignation that a girl’s taller than them.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. One of my favorite things to do when one was being particularly annoying was to stand a little too close, so he had to look up to me. It was hard to look insulted and dignified while having to peer up at someone.

    I paused, trying to think of something else.

    “My hair is so long and thick it gives me a headache when I have to pin it up for formal occasions.” I hesitated, “Or maybe it’s the events themselves, I don’t even know. It’s always fraying out of the braid and it’s kind of a dark reddish-brown, but I always forget to cover it, so the ends are bleached blond by the sun. Mother says it’s the color of father’s, but I don’t remember.” My voice faded, trying to recall what Father looked like. It was of no use, as usual. It was too long ago.

    “I have his eyes too,” I said, quietly. “Really light brown. Almost gold.” I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. I thought I’d covered the basics. She would probably be disappointed. Whenever some foreign ambassador thought he could flatter me by commenting on my ‘unsurpassed beauty’, I always knew he was lying. I tossed my head. I couldn’t care less. I was happy with how I looked.

    She peered at me, a question in her unseeing eyes. I could guess what it was.

    “My father died when I was eight. Eight years ago. Hunting accident.” I said, shortly. It was ironic that Father had died of something as mundane as a stray javelin, especially only two years after the war he’d won. Ironic, but I didn’t smile. I still missed him, we all did.

    _____________

    That was a really cool question! It was fun to think of how Liorah would describe herself, I’d never considered that before!

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #124317
    Jasmine
    @jasmine

    “Oh. Did you get a nightmare to? It’s ok, I think Lord Castle’s mad again.” Ehud replied.

    Gwendolyn blinked. How did he know she had had a nightmare? Who was “Lord Castle”? She recalled seeing a castle wall before they where forced through it. Was he referring to that? How could a castle be mad?

    She blinked again, remembering who she was talking to.

    Gwendolyn felt like she needed some time alone to sort through her thoughts. Thoughts about this place, thoughts about her dream, thoughts about the people here, and other things. She didn’t want to seem confused or vulnerable. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to help. The only way out seemed to be to stick together. No one would make it out alone.  But she was used to working alone and independent. She wasn’t good at making the right decisions though. She wanted to be independent but every time she tried, she failed herself by making the wrong choice. When she followed orders, others led her the right way. But she still had a hard time doing what they said, she always wanted to do things her way, even though her way usually led to failure. She could bear failing herself, but when it affected others, it was too much to bear.

    She looked down at Ehud’s big innocent eyes and the blood that stained his face. Guilt seized her mind again. Guilt for breaking that stupid stupid mirror.

    She sighed, she needed time to sort her thoughts out.

    “why don’t you take a break Ehud?” She said, but it was more a demand then a suggestion, “I can watch the entrance.”

     

     

    I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

    #124351
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Also, some stuff just slips past and you might make a mistake. But, there’ll always be someone who’ll “helpfully” correct you, in the most patronizing tone possible. (Hear the sarcasm.) “Yes, Karen. I know I used the wrong article. You understood me, didn’t you? Hold your waffle and mind your business.” Some people are crazy elitist about how you speak ‘their’ language, so someone always corrects you when you make a mistake.

    Ah yes, they be people what call ‘em “Grammar Nazis” and it be so fun to talk grammatically incorrectly! (and now I must tell people to hold their waffles from now until somebody hits me with a 2-by-4 cos I’m that annoying 😛 ).
    Alas I have grammar nazied my closest friends before, usually to provoke them out of a bad mood or start a wit-war. Which is something I better not do unless I’m absolutely certain it’ll make the other person laugh instead of being annoyed…(I’m gonna go make up to my poor best friends now…)

    Another cool thing about languages is that when you’re really upset you’ll default into your mother-tongue. You might be fumbling for words you’d usually know because your thoughts are completely raw and you don’t have the composure to translate. The same thing happens when you’re badly hurt. You might use an exclamation of pain from your mother tongue, even if you haven’t used it in years. (That’s a personal experience, but I’ve read the same thing.) Another thing I see a lot is when characters just randomly switch languages while speaking to characters who don’t share the language. This is a bit iffy because it isn’t something you’d commonly do.

    That’s cool! Now I have to look up Spanish saying and translate them and that should give at least a couple interesting sayings! And Spanish-English to show Rosario’s upset which will be more expressive than her actual expressions. And narration more than speech, got it!

    There are several ways, but here are some of the most common ones: “Hoi! Alles goed?” (Hey, everything okay?) Casual, you’d use it with someone you already know. “Hallo, hoe gaat het met u/jou?” (Hello, how are you?) Formal. Dutch has a respect pronoun, u instead of je. Both mean you, but you’d use u with a considerably older person or someone in authority. You’d also use it in a more formal setting. Oddly enough, this is one of my favorite things about Dutch. It makes everyone think you’re extremely polite, even though otherwise you talk normally.

    I love the u/je thing! Thanks!

    Dutch has a freakish amount of dialects and accents. It’s crazy! You can literally tell where someone lives as soon as they say “Good morning”. There are at least ten dialects, but you can subdivide them roughly into regions. Also interesting, there’s a lot of joking back and forth about the regions, and they all have their stereotypes, all of which are funny: Friesland (Far north.): Basically a country, complete with their own language, flag, and anthem. They have a completely different language, and I won’t go into that now. East: Hillbillies and cow farmers. Enough said. West: Posh city people. South: They talk funny, and they have hills mountains! Even though the Netherlands is tiny, the dialects aren’t even mutually intelligible. They literally sound like different languages.

    Oh neat! We do that between states in America some, it’s real fun. I’ve learned so many new things thank you! Oh, how do you insult someone in Dutch?

    Ack! I almost forgot you’re bringing a new character soon? I vote Gavril maybe?

    *sigh* How true. I have to say that this really reminds me of my grandpa. He has really big hands with really short fingers, lol (mine are as long as his although they are about half as thick), and they are very calloused and strong and warm and… one of my favorite things about him. When I was younger and upset, he’d pick me up and pat my back, and now whenever I’m cold (even if it’s my feet that are cold), he’ll fold his hands around the object to warm it up. I think I’m going to cry now. XD I recently lost both my great-grandpas, so this is kinda tricky for me to emotionally navigate.

    I’m so sorry, I lost my grandmother a long time ago and it was so hard then, I can’t imagine losing both great-grandpas at once. I wish I could break the rules of physics and hug you.

     

    Gwendolyn’s eyes shifted through so many emotions in just a couple seconds, Ehud could see her trying to remain strong. He wanted to tell her he was there for her she didn’t have to do everything on her own, it was alright to just be yourself. But he waited for her to respond first. She sighed.
    “Why don’t you take a break Ehud?” she commanded “I can watch the entrance.”
    Sweet as he was, Ehud also had this pretty rebellious streak, especially when he thought he could help if he persisted. Her demand guaranteed he wasn’t going to comply. Dropping to the ground in front of her Ehud crossed his arms and stared up at her obstinately.
    “Do you wanna talk about it,” he suggested attempting to rub the crusty blood off his face with the back of his jacket “or maybe just sit here?”

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #124406
    Wingiby Iggiby
    @wingiby-iggiby

    @rose-colored-fancy

    Thank you so much! I love how Liorah is really bossy confident, but she’s actually so insecure. I discovered that pretty recently, so I have to change a lot of things in the book.

    LOL! Don’t you just love it when your characters surprise you? Like I read in an article on here, we should actually call our characters “people” because characters are people (or at least something like them), and calling them people helps us remember how complex they are! Just a little something I found interesting 😉

    Yeah, I was really surprised when she started comforting Ehud! I discovered Liorah can’t bear to see anyone cry. Well, specifically people she feels like she needs to protect. She’ll just pick out a few people and practically mother them, while she leaves everyone else to take care of themselves XD

    Aww, that is really sweet!! I’m so glad she comforted Ehud and Riure! 😀

    LOL! That was great!

    Thank you! 😀

    Your post was amazing! I practically saw all of it! Amazing! I feel so sorry for Kiark! He has really relatable fears, the claustrophobic one especially! I love it when characters have phobias, though not many of mine do. Gavril hates complete darkness though, mostly when he can’t do anything about it.

    Aw, thanks!!! And I never really considered phobias, either! I ought to, though. Gavril’s fear makes a ton of sense! I have a slight fear of the dark just because I can’t help but imagine cat-burglars and assassins creeping down the hall. I have grown out of monsters, but terrorists are very real, lol 😛

    Also, your’s and @this-is-not-an-alien ‘s language discussion is very interesting! I’ve learned a lot — so please, by all means, keep talking!

    I vote Gavril, just from hearing about him from Liorah’s POV! It’d be great to see him from his POV!


    @jasmine

    Kiark’s  fear was really interesting! The madness he was afraid of was super creepy\interesting\cool. I like the way you combined his three greatest fears. I also liked the way he sang to comfort himself. I can relate to that, lol.

    Aw, thank you!!! I’m super glad you liked it 😀

    And the way you show Gwen struggling with herself is so real! I love it!


    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Oh man, Kiark’s worst fear was such an intense read, it was really good!

    Thank you!! I love intense stuff for some reason 😛


    @joelle-stone

    *sigh* How true. I have to say that this really reminds me of my grandpa. He has really big hands with really short fingers, lol (mine are as long as his although they are about half as thick), and they are very calloused and strong and warm and… one of my favorite things about him. When I was younger and upset, he’d pick me up and pat my back, and now whenever I’m cold (even if it’s my feet that are cold), he’ll fold his hands around the object to warm it up. I think I’m going to cry now. XD I recently lost both my great-grandpas, so this is kinda tricky for me to emotionally navigate. 🙂

    Oh man, I love your grandpa, just by your description! His hands are actually a lot like my dad’s: short, thick, strong — and my younger brother’s, for that matter, except that they’re rather soft 😛 And I’m so sorry for your loss! I can’t imagine what that’s gotta be like 🙁

    @EVERYONE (trying to make this stand out, ha ha)

    I believe the time hath come for me to rotate my mortals! Sir Wylo and Prince Kiarkus have faithfully undergone terrible terrors, and there are more to develop on others! So, may I have your well-esteemed votes on these following three?

    1. Dancrow Cart — jocular, dead serious on a mission, a natural born leader, has a thirst for glory.

    2. Candy Joplin — crack shot with a rifle, quiet, unsure of everything, gentle.

    3. Weslow Empir — valiant soldier, struggling with self, wishing he could get rid of the ghosts.

    I light the arrow, pull the bow,
    Shoot that fire right through my soul.

    #124413
    Joelle Stone
    @joelle-stone

    @wingiby-iggiby

    DANCROW!

    "Lacho calad! Drego morn!"

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