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Eitan started the topic A poem – Alone in the night of darkness in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

Hi everyone!

I haven’t been around for a long time… High school and stuff 🙂 It’s a poem I wrote today. It’s a rewriting of something I wrote earlier today, while and after a really hard time. I hope it will encourage, help, or just make you smile 🙂

As always, I’m totally open to any kind of criticism, whether grammatical or artistic…[Read more]

Crazywriter joined the group Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

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Gracie replied to the topic A poem – Your love and Your faithfulness in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

That was beautiful @eitan .

Sam M replied to the topic A poem – Your love and Your faithfulness in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

Hi, Eitan. I’m sorry that you had a hard day.

I think the line should be “how lonely and miserable I became” instead of “what…”

I always love your poetry. I love how much you focus on God’s love and goodness. Thanks for posting this! This poem was relatable. 🙂

Anne of Lothlorien replied to the topic A poem – Your love is not imaginary in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

@eitan This was beautiful, thank you. I’m sorry you went through this time, but it’s beautiful that you have come out the other side of this with hope in your heart and new strength in Jesus.

From a grammatical standpoint, I spotted one line… “There are no cold and horror – I do not shiver” should be “There is no cold and horror – I do not…[Read more]

Eitan started the topic A poem – Your love and Your faithfulness in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

So, today was hard… But in the end, God gave me hope and rest. I’m even a little cheery as I write those lines 😉

This is the translation of the original Hebrew. I hope it’ll help, encourage or just make someone smile 🙂 Any critique, grammatical correction, or anything else is welcome.

Your love and Your faithfulness

You gave my heart…[Read more]

Kimmi replied 5 years, 7 months ago

@eitan

Computer again…

I found this poem. (It has thee’s and thou’s) But has rymne and meter.
It is true.

Approach, my soul, the mercy–seat
Where JESUS answers prayer;
There humbly fall before his feet,
For none can perish there.
Thy promise is my only plea,
With this I venture nigh;
Thou callest burdened souls to thee,
And such, O LORD, a…[Read more]
- Kimmi replied 5 years, 7 months ago
  
  (The poem without thee’s and thou’s)
  
  Approach, my soul, the mercy–seat
  Where JESUS answers prayer;
  There humbly fall before his feet,
  For none can perish there.
  Your promise is my only plea,
  With this I venture nigh;
  You call burdened souls to You,
  And such, O LORD, am I.
  And such, O LORD, am I.
  
  Bowed down beneath a load of sin,
  By Satan s…[Read more]

Eitan replied to the topic A poem – Your love is not imaginary in the forum Poets 5 years, 7 months ago

@sam-m Thank you!!

Oh, just a typing mistake… Like, I know how to write know 😉 *embarrassed, but thankful*.

Sam M replied to the topic A poem – Your love is not imaginary in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@eitan

Hi, Eitan! I really like your poem. I love the hope and truth that you pour into your writing.

Also, (because you’re really serious about grammar), I think you meant: I can know this for sure.

I look forward to reading anything else you post. 🙂

Beth Darlene joined the group Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

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Gracie replied to the topic A poem – Your love is not imaginary in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@eitan

Beautiful Eitan! Truly. Thank you for sharing.

(:

There are no cold and horror – I do not shiver

I believe, (sense you asked), grammatically it should be ‘there is no cold and horror’.

Eitan replied 5 years, 8 months ago

Thank you!! And thanks for the critique 🙂
Will edit if possible 🙂
(Though grammatically, isn’t it plural?)
- Kimmi replied 5 years, 8 months ago
  
  Good question. (I almost didn’t say anything because I don’t have any grammar rule I know to quote.) Then I mentioned it anyway… *wince* My brain, my /self/, why dost thou do this to thyself!!
  
  Anyways…
  Yes; it is plural.
  
  But ‘is’ /does/ go there. *Knowing I’m doing this horribly…I should ask my mother.*
  
  It sounds wrong with ‘are’. I’ve nev…[Read more]
- Kimmi replied 5 years, 8 months ago
  
  (I hope this makes more sense to you, than it does to me…)
  
  ‘The subject is “there”.
  “There is” is the subject and verb.
  “cold and horror” is the direct object(s)’
  
  But, at least I know I’m not crazy…. in the complete oblivious sense of the word…
  
  Post Script: It was ‘Tal’ who answered my question…not my mother. (:

Eitan replied to the topic A Poem, I Guess in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@inkspiller

Hmm. I read it now. I didn’t understand everything, but what I did – It’s amazing! Like, really. You really poured you heart to this… It’s full of sorrow, yet hope. True, He will never forsake us, no matter what, and how painful would be our fall. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Eitan started the topic A poem – Your love is not imaginary in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

(Tagging other poets – Sorry if I bother you, won’t tag again):
@anne-the-noob14 @anne-of-lothlorien @the-inkspiller @kimlikesart @urwen-starial @emberynus-the-drgaonslayer @dakota

(Sorry if I missed someone).

So, I went through a difficult time in the last few days, but God used it amazingly to teach me something, and to get rid from a lie I…[Read more]

Eitan posted an update in the group Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@everyone
Am I the only one who writes poems with a music running in the head? 😉

Anne of Lothlorien replied to the topic A Poem, I Guess in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@the-inkspiller I’m a little late reading this here, but I just wanted to say that was beautiful. And thank you.

I struggle with some health problems like anemia and also having panic attacks and light PTSD symptoms, and this poem spoke straight to my heart. I know you wrote it for you, but I feel like it was written for me, for a time when I…[Read more]

Anne of Lothlorien replied to the topic Humanity, A Poem in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@anne_the_noob14 @sam-m

Thank you guys! Those contrasting lines were the first ones I wrote, in the middle of a sermon at church, actually 😀

Livi Ryddle replied to the topic Humanity, A Poem in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@anne-of-lothlorien

I love it!! Especially, like Gracie was saying, how you gave kinda the mirror image of the verses 🙂

Sam M replied to the topic Humanity, A Poem in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@anne-of-lothlorien

Hi, Anne. 🙂 I really liked your poem! I love paradoxes. And I love it when lines in poems contrast and reflect each other -which you did well. Great job on your poem!

Eitan replied to the topic Another translated poem (: in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer

Thank you very much!

Hmm, I’ve never thought of Hebrew as beautiful, but maybe it’s because I’m used to it 🙂 The translation is excellent in general, but sometimes it does’t get all the details.

Emberynus The Dragonslayer replied to the topic Another translated poem (: in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@eitan

Sorry I just now saw this. This is beautiful! your poetry is so vivid and full of emotion. I love it! 🙂

Anne of Lothlorien replied to the topic Another translated poem (: in the forum Poets 5 years, 8 months ago

@eitan That’s so cool! I really wish I could hear it in the original Hebrew. It’s a beautiful sounding language, in my opinion.

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