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Dakota replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
@beth20 You’re welcome!
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Beth Darlene replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
@dakota Thanks so much, Dakota!!!
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Dakota replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
@beth20 Good job on this poem! π
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Josiah DeGraaf replied to the topic Publishing questions in the forum Publishing and Marketing Nerds 5 years, 10 months ago
@rebekah-elizabeth You’re quite welcome! Glad to be of help. π
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Rebekah.Elizabeth replied to the topic Publishing questions in the forum Publishing and Marketing Nerds 5 years, 10 months ago
@josiah Thank you for the advice! I appreciate all that you do for SE members, and, though I don’t often have time to be active on the SE forum, the influence you and the other staff members have had on me over the past few months through the podcast, summit recordings, and emails has been invaluable. Thank you so much!
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Beth Darlene replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Thanks Sam! It’s one of the only two poems I’ve ever written.
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Sam M replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Hi, Beth. You did a great job of writing an emotional piece in masterfully concise way. I like you’re writing style and thought it was cool how you ended the poem with a thought-provoking question. Great job!
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Sam M replied to the topic I Would Be in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Yeah, I can see now how that would be confusing. Thanks for the feedback! π
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Sam M replied to the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Hi, Jenny! I like your vivid writing style and how the first lines of each stanza were parallel to each other. The way you ended it was cool too. I can’t think of any recommendations for improvement. Sorry. π It looked great to me.
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Beth Darlene started the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Drowning
In doubt,
In hesitation.
Submerged
In my uncertainties
Itβs wrong.
.
Hiding
My face,
All my feelings.
Deception
To cover
My anxiety
.
Fighting
To open,
To unbolt.
Conflicting
Emotions,
Iβm confused.
.
Am I a closed door?
No.
But will this door ever open more than a crack?
No.
You think you know me.
Do you?
-Beth Darlene
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Beth Darlene replied to the topic A poem – I want to weep in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
Nice poem @eitan!!
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Gracie replied to the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
That was really good @jennythefaun !!
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JennytheFaun replied to the topic I Would Be in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
I don’t know if you’re still looking for feedback on this or not, but just in case you are:
I thought this was really good! The main suggestion I have is that in the very first line, “was and am isn’t” really tripped me up. I understand now what you’re saying, but it took me two or three glances to piece it together.
My favorite line was “I…[Read more]
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JennytheFaun started the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZMIEA7d_LkfwEGUxcdqGM8-R5j_CZ5cJqDDVSxv6Nxs/edit?usp=sharing
I haven’t written much poetry, but this is one I’ve been working with recently. I feel like it still needs some changes, but I’m not sure how to move forward with it. Any critique would be great, especially comments on the doc.
Also, as I think…[Read more]
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JennytheFaun joined the group Poets 5 years, 10 months ago
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Sam M replied to the topic The Snare in the forum Poets 5 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, Lona!
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Lona replied to the topic The Snare in the forum Poets 5 years, 11 months ago
Ahhhh! That was so great! I resonated so much with this poem. Especially the lines,
“Habitual failing -I wish I could quit” and
“Make my love greater than my pain,
Help my vindictive soul to change,”
Excellent word choice. π
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Lona joined the group Poets 5 years, 11 months ago
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Sam M started the topic The Snare in the forum Poets 5 years, 11 months ago
Hey, everybody. Feel free to leave me some feedback on my poem. What do you think I can do better? π
The Snare
The Bible declares that fear of man is a snare,
And this truth matches my experience,
I know itβs real as Iβm hearing this.
For a dozen times I can be fine,
And the journey goes pretty well,
But I still think about when Iβl…[Read more]
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Sam M replied to the topic I Would Be in the forum Poets 5 years, 11 months ago
Thanks, Eitan! π
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