fb

Poets

I Would Be

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #120052
    Sam M
    @sam-m

    Hey, everybody. So, here’s a poem I wrote. Feel free to offer feedback if you want to. 🙂

     

    I Would Be

    The person I was and am isn’t who I want to be.

    Who would I be if nothing stopped me?

    If all my weaknesses, fears,

    All my sins disappeared.

    And I could begin again.

    I would seek mercy and justice.

    And my hypocrisy? I would bust it.

    I would be shield between the hurting and villains.

    And my pride? I would kill it.

    I would be compassionate to victims.

    And my jealousy? It’d be evicted.

    I would submit to humiliation and pain,

    Having my dreams stolen away,

    If it meant saving a stranger’s soul.

    No matter my personal toll.

    I would never be offended on my own behalf,

    But injustice would always make my soul ache.

    I would do everything right on the first draft.

    My history wouldn’t be drenched in mistakes.

    I would forgive in a second,

    My love would be strong and

    I would treat every human as a child of the Lord.

    As for the world? I’d stop wanting more.

    I would give with abandon,

    And my greed would vanish,

    My heart would be focused on those suffering and famished.

    I would look at life with honesty,

    No matter the pain it might cause me.

    I would act on my convictions.

    Never kneel to the enemy’s restrictions.

    I wouldn’t stray,

    I wouldn’t wander,

    I wouldn’t work my own agenda,

    I would pray,

    I would ponder,

    I would seek Your will forever.

    Truth would rule in my mind,

    And hope would shine without ceasing,

    Faith would reign, never decreasing,

    It would be stronger than an avalanche,

    I wouldn’t stop hoping in that second chance.

    I wouldn’t give up on monsters,

    Not even myself.

    I would seek the good of others,

    I wouldn’t seek wealth.

    My love would be blind

    To enemy lines.

    I would endure suffer to save an enemy,

    I would give compassion to those against me.

    I would care more about humanity,

    Than what they thought of me.

    I would keep my eyes on You,

    And find peace.

    That’s what I dream of:

    To be free.

    I’d remember that I’m your artwork, your servant,

    Your child above all else.

    I never would’ve hiked a thousand miles towards hell.

    I would have courage and honor.

    My love would be so much stronger.

    I would consult Wisdom,

    And build with purpose,

    I know I haven’t done everything I should’ve.

    The person I was and am isn’t who I want to be.

    But You can transform me.

    My past is a land of human experience,

    My present can be a training ground,

    Where better patterns can be found,

    Where I can build up humility and fearlessness,

    Learn wisdom, love, and perseverance,

    Where I can be honest and remember:

    Your love -relentless and tender,

    Your forgiveness redeeming me,

    Your grace remaking me,

    Your faithfulness never leaving me.

    My hope remains that I can change.

    That this isn’t how I’ll end.

    #120055
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    That was really good. So amazing. Are you going to enter it in the poetry contest?

    Jominkreesa

    Passion = A Willingness To Suffer

    #120189
    Sam M
    @sam-m

    @kimlikesart

    I actually ended up using a different, but similar, poem for the contest. Thank you so much for the encouragement! 🙂

     

    #120574
    Eitan
    @eitan

    @sam-m

    It was amazing! And encouraging! And beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!!

    You don't need to see the wind itself in order to hear the rustling leaves.

    #120985
    Sam M
    @sam-m

    @eitan

    Thanks, Eitan! 🙂

    #121808
    JennytheFaun
    @jennythefaun

    I don’t know if you’re still looking for feedback on this or not, but just in case you are:

    I thought this was really good! The main suggestion I have is that in the very first line, “was and am isn’t” really tripped me up. I understand now what you’re saying, but it took me two or three glances to piece it together.

    My favorite line was “I wouldn’t give up on monsters/Not even myself.” That really made me think of Kalmar from the Wingfeather Saga, which is one of my favorite ever series.

    I really resonated with this poem. I love its honesty!

    "...by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."

    #121946
    Sam M
    @sam-m

    @jennythefaun

    Yeah, I can see now how that would be confusing. Thanks for the feedback! 🙂

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Enroll in Our Seven-Day Mindset Challenge Course

Enter your email to begin taking the course. We'll send you a link to begin the mindset course along with emails to help you grow in your writing craft!

You've joined the course! Check your email to watch the first video.

Plotting Is Hard

That’s why we created a worksheet that will help you make sure your story hits all the right plot beats.

 

Sign up below to learn how to ace story structure.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the plot sheet in one moment...

Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

Knowing your character's favorite ice cream flavor won't help you write engaging protagonists.

 

Our questionnaire is different. Use it to discover your character's core fears, longings, hopes, and needs.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the character questionnaire in one moment...

Enjoying This Article? Get the Full Series!

 You can download the entire Tricky Subjects for Christian Storytellers series in e-book form for free!

 Learn how to wisely handle subjects like violence, language, and sex as a writer.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Worldbuild Smarter, Not Harder

 Some worldbuilding questionnaires force you to answer as many questions as possible about your world.

 

Ours doesn’t. Answer targeted questions that reveal what’s actually important about your world.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the worldbuilding questionnaire in one moment...

Take Your Style to the Next Level

Take Your Style to the Next Level

The written word matters to God.

 

Does it matter to you?

 

Learn how to develop an eloquent, practical, and personal style by downloading our free e-book.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Every Year, Thousands of Writers Give Up

Every Year, Thousands of Writers Give Up

 Don’t be the next.

 

We understand how exhausting writing can be, so download our free e-book and find inspiration to press on!

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Don't Be That Kind of Christian Writer

Want to impact the world for Christ with your writing—without being preachy or cliched?

 

Learn how to avoid common pitfalls and craft powerful themes by downloading our free worksheet!

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the theme worksheet in one moment...

So You Have Clichés in Your Novel...

Thankfully, we’re here to help!

 

Enter your email below, and we’ll send you a simple process for smashing clichés.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the cliche worksheet in one moment...

Sign Up for Updates

Enter your email to receive updates on the Engaging Plots Summit, along with emails to help you grow in your writing craft!

You have successfully subscribed for updates!

Does Christian Fiction Need to Be Clean?

Our Tricky Subjects for Christian Storytellers e-book examines how to depict sensitive topics like violence, language, and sex with realism and wisdom. Sign up to download it for free!

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Poetry Isn't Just for Poets

Poetry Isn't Just for Poets

It can also help novelists write better stories!

Get our Harnessing the Power of Poetry e-book to learn how techniques used by skilled poets can enrich your storytelling.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Enjoying This Article? Get the Full Series!

Enjoying This Article? Get the Full Series!

You can download the entire Harnessing the Power of Poetry series in e-book form for free!

Learn what surprising insights and techniques novelists can glean from poets.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Uncover the Secret to Relatable Characters

Uncover the Secret to Relatable Characters

Learning how to help readers connect with your story's characters doesn't need to be a mystery.

Get our Evoking Reader Empathy e-book to discover how successful authors build empathy.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

Knowing your character's favorite ice cream flavor won't help you write engaging protagonists.

 

Our questionnaire is different. Use it to discover your character's core fears, longings, hopes, and needs.

 

 

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the character questionnaire in one moment...

Plotting Is Hard

Plotting Is Hard

That’s why we created a worksheet that will help you make sure your story hits all the right plot beats.

 

Sign up below to learn how to ace story structure.

Congratulations! Redirecting you to the plot sheet in one moment...

Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

Enter your email to get your guide, along with other resources to help you grow in your writing craft!

You have successfully subscribed for updates!

Pin It on Pinterest