Poets

The Snare

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  • #120986
    Sam M
    @sam-m

    Hey, everybody. Feel free to leave me some feedback on my poem. What do you think I can do better? 🙂

     

    The Snare

     

    The Bible declares that fear of man is a snare,

    And this truth matches my experience,

    I know it’s real as I’m hearing this.

    For a dozen times I can be fine,

    And the journey goes pretty well,

    But I still think about when I’ll mess up and strangers will yell.

    I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid and worthless.

    How do I make what they say hurt less?

    Habitual failing -I wish I could quit,

    And the fear of their criticism,

    I really want to kick.

    I can be pretty awkward,

    Will people secretly mock or

    Do they think I’m a freak,

    Because I wash my hands a thousand times a week?

    Is my sense of humor ill-received?

    What do they see when they look at me?

    This is the snare.

    It’s melded to my brain and superglued to my hair.

    I try to act like I don’t care.

    Meanwhile, my heart is grafting with the snare.

    I’ve got rope burns on my soul,

    With fear like this, I can’t be whole.

    Please cut me free.

    Use a blade of truth and help me see.

    Alone in the car, with wounds not yet scars,

    I’m reminded that it’s what you think that matters,

    Please, Father, could you help me heal faster?

    Please, make my fear and pride scatter.

    You say, it’s what I think that matters.

    I love you. And I love them.

    I beg for the grace to be free of what I’ve become.

    Give me the grace to love them when they don’t love me.

    To honor their humanity,

    I need You to help me love them. Please.

    Make my love greater than my pain,

    Help my vindictive soul to change,

    Help love to erase my raw, aching moments.

    Help me to remember that your loving mercy is close, it’s

    Right by forgiveness,

    By me in my sickness.

    Pride types lies across my angry soul,

    But truth doesn’t change based on lies that’re told.

    The truth is that every moment I’m sinful, I hurt you,

    I rebel and betray and desert you,

    And when I repent you forgive me.

    Lovingly. Instantly.

    Help me to love my enemies. Please.

    Help me to love them like you love me.

    #121078
    Lona
    @lonathecat

      Ahhhh! That was so great! I resonated so much with this poem. Especially the lines,

      “Habitual failing -I wish I could quit” and

      “Make my love greater than my pain,

      Help my vindictive soul to change,”

      Excellent word choice. 😀

       

      #121117
      Sam M
      @sam-m

      @lonathecat

      Thanks, Lona!

    Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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