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Fantasy Writers

Character Castle 2.0

Viewing 6 posts - 991 through 996 (of 996 total)
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  • #133526
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Ferran

    My eldest brother, Syrus, looked exactly as I remembered him. That was my first indication that something was wrong. I hadn’t seen Syrus in five years. He’d been eighteen, I was thirteen. There was no way he still looked that young.

    I hated how much we resembled each other. Now we looked the same age, I could see it clearer than ever. I could see how my warped memories were reflecting off him. He looked taller than I knew him to be and somehow even more intimidating.

    I gritted my teeth. Every memory surged up in a single, overwhelming flood and there was no use pushing them down.

    “Why!? Why did you leave? We needed you!” My voice had always been loud, and now it echoed through the small chamber until it made my ears ring.

    I knew it wasn’t him, but it didn’t change how I felt. He had left a week after my father’s death. One morning, I’d woken up and both he and Idir, my other brother who was sixteen at the time, had left. They left a note. It didn’t help.

    There was no way I could take care of my deaf mother and eight-year-old sister. The months after that were a blur, and to this day, I had no idea how we had managed.

    From the day they had disappeared, I hadn’t heard anything from my two older brothers.  I’d indirectly learned that Idir had gone to sea and Syrus had joined another tribe, but that was years ago. I didn’t know if they were even alive. If they had showed up, I would have slammed the door in their faces.

    And now I had to face him again.

    Azar was snarling, all her teeth bared in viciousness I had never seen in her.

    ‘Syrus’ recoiled. I had no idea how the castle knew that he disliked dogs. I held that against him.

    I turned away and refused to even look in his direction. I wasn’t taking the castle’s bait.

    Then, he was there, in front of me again. I turned away with a scowl, but I caught a glimpse of the form disintegrating into a blob and he reformed in front of me.

    “Leave, since you’re so good at it!” I spat at it. I was being irrational and I couldn’t stop. I had to stop. I had to calm down.

    The shape reformed into Idir. The lighter hair, that over-confident, eternally triumphant smile, it was Idir down to the last detail.

    “That goes for you too! I should have known you would leave.” Why hadn’t I guessed? They had never wanted to take over the forge as father had wanted. They didn’t care.

    Azar lunged forward and attacked the creature, which reformed into its old, blobby shape. It was within reach and I slammed my staff down on its front, as hard as I could. I was suddenly furious at the creature, at the castle, at my brothers, at myself. Why hadn’t I stopped them? Why hadn’t I known? I should have known.  How dare this castle exploit that old wound?

    The creature exploded in a rainbow of colors, ranging from emerald to amethyst. It writhed in pain and Azar lunged at it again, grabbing its snake-like form and shaking it until it went limp and turned a sickly gray. She dropped it, and wagged her tail, immensely proud of herself.

    “Yes, you’re very clever,” I said, without any enthusiasm.

    I eyed the creature suspiciously, expecting it to change into anyone I had ever known. Who would be next? My mother? Bithia, my younger sister? Liorah? A few more colors pulsed under its skin, growing ever fainter. I didn’t wait for the vicious thing to come back to life but kicked it into the opposite wall with more ferocity than I usually allowed myself.

    It went limp, the colors fading into an ugly grayish-green. It was finally dead.

    I sank down against the wall, somehow exhausted. I stared at the gray blob, oozing green blood. What was this place? What did it want with me?

    I suddenly sat up straight. If this was happening to me, something similar could be happening to Liorah, or even worse. I remembered Gavril’s brief account of what had happened before I arrived. What if Liorah was hurt?

    I slumped back, remembering that I was trapped here with no way out. Even if something was happening to her, there was nothing I could do about it.

    Azar jumped at me, her playfulness in no way abated. She seemed to have enjoyed the fight with the creature. Her feathery tail swept back and forth, and she was wriggling in satisfaction at herself. She tried to lick my face, but I pushed her away, unable to keep from smiling.

    “Good girl. You have a knack for fighting monsters,” I said, ruffling her ears.

    __________

    So, what do y’all think? Should I throw something else at Ferran or make him join Liorah and Gwen, as soon as they’ve finished fighting?

    BTW, I’d really appreciate any critique on Ferran’s backstory. I’m not sure it makes sense. Or maybe it’s too melodramatic? I don’t even know at this point XD

     

     

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #133550
    Jasmine
    @jasmine

    So, what do y’all think? Should I throw something else at Ferran or make him join Liorah and Gwen, as soon as they’ve finished fighting?

     

    I think it would be fun to have Ferran join Liorah and Gwen, but he’s your character so I’m ok with whatever. Your last posts was really cool!

     

     

     

    Gwendolyn

    Liorah blocked my blade and scrambled back again. Her eyes showed signs of the same weariness I felt. The cut on her side didn’t seem to slow her much, she did wince every now and then though. I felt a wave of guilt wash through me again, then Liorah slashed my sword away from her with such vigor that I was taken by surprise. Before my I could bring my sword back around, she drove her own blade at my chest.  I hadn’t expected her to block with such energy, and she hadn’t thrust before, so that was also unexpected. I twisted desperately, but she had caught me off guard. I twisted so that instead of stabbing my chest, her sword caught between my shoulder and neck.

    I could tell Liorah hadn’t used her full strength like she would have in a real fight, otherwise I might not have made it. I gasped, then jumped back trying to get my bearings. The cut stung, but I could tell it wasn’t serious.

    “Now we’re even,” I say, forcing a small grin. I clench my jaw and raise my sword to swing.

     

    I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

    #133565
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @jasmine

    I think it would be fun to have Ferran join Liorah and Gwen, but he’s your character so I’m ok with whatever. Your last posts was really cool!

    Thank you! Awesome, that would be cool! I can’t wait to see what the three of them will do! I’ll make the wall go down as soon as Liorah and Gwen are done fighting. Do you have any ideas for challenges?

    Liorah

    Gwen scrambled back, desperately, but I could tell I’d caught her by surprise this time. She twisted and my sword nicked her between her neck and her shoulder. She gave a little gasp of pain and jumped back. Guilt and hatred for the castle washed over me. I didn’t want to hurt Gwen. She had been nothing but kind and brave.

    “Now we’re even,” Gwen said, forcing a tight grin. She clenched her jaw and raised her sword again.

    “One point for each. One more strike and we’ll see who lives.” The castle intoned.

    I froze. Who lives? What did it mean, who lives? I felt panic, then anger, surging in me. I wasn’t going to let Gwen die because of me!

    “How dare you? Two can play at this game,” I snarled at the castle.

    I leaped forward, toward Gwen. She raised her sword, ready to parry, but instead of swinging at her again, I grabbed her sword. She instinctively tried to wrench it free, tried to block the cut she thought was coming.

    Her blade bit deep into my palm and I bit back a cry of pain. It hurt even more than I’d expected. Adrenaline rushed through me, making my ears buzz and my head pound.

    I spun away from Gwen, toward the corner where the voice had been coming from. I held up my bloody hand. The stripes where Gwen’s sword had slashed wept scarlet. A drop of blood tickled down my arm, into my sleeve.

    “Look! Gwen won. She wounded me twice. She gets to live.” In a final show of disdain, I flicked my wrist, splattering drops of blood over the floor.

    And I waited. Waited to see if the castle would accept my loophole and kill me, or force us to continue.

    __________

    Leaving it up to you to choose what happens next! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #133620
    Jasmine
    @jasmine

    Thank you! Awesome, that would be cool! I can’t wait to see what the three of them will do! I’ll make the wall go down as soon as Liorah and Gwen are done fighting. Do you have any ideas for challenges?

    The firs thing that popped into my mind was a giant twisted funhouse.We could take turns picking the next obstacles. That was just a random idea though. Do you have any more ideas?

    Also, that’s A really cool profile picture! Did you draw that?!

     

     

    Gwendolyn

    “One point for each. One more strike and we’ll see who lives.” The castle announced.

    “WHAT?!” I roar. Who lives? One of us has to die?! This is not what I thought it was. I feel myself grow hot with anger at the castle, then cold with fear at the idea of death, mine or Liorah’s, then flat out furious.

    “How dare you?” Liorah snarls Two can play at this game,”

    She leaps forward at me, hand outstretched. Is she giving A final desperate push to win? Lunging forward to finish me off?

    She grabs my sword and I instinctively yank it back, trying to raise it to block a blow I know is coming. But instead of raising her own sword, Liorah spins toward the corner where the voice came from and raises her now-bloody hand.

    “Look!” She cries, “Gwen won. She wounded me twice. She gets to live.”

    My eyes widen, “what? No!”. Guilt sweeps through my mind, first for thinking she was trying to kill me when she was trying to save me, then for actually letting her save me by sacrificing herself. She waits a moment, and I rake my mind for a way out, A way to save her.

    The castle pauses, “First of all,” it says in its gravely metallic voice, “I didn’t say the winner got to live.”

    I freeze, too many emotions roaring through my mind to figure out.

    “Second of all,” the evil castle continues, “yes, you found a loophole, but I don’t count loopholes.”

    All I want to do right now is tear this place to shreds and wake up from what feels like a dream.

    “Get to the point.” I mutter, too angry to say much more.

    “Aww, that’s cute,” the castle says, “your trying to tell me what to do. Anyway, as interesting as this is, I’m ready to move on to the next game.”

    game?! You call this nightmare a game?!” I ask, almost unbelieving.

    I hear a grinding noise and raise my sword to defend myself, spinning to face the sound. A wall lifts up across the room.

     

     

    • This reply was modified 2 days, 10 hours ago by Jasmine.

    I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

    #133625
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @jasmine

    The first thing that popped into my mind was a giant twisted funhouse.We could take turns picking the next obstacles. That was just a random idea though. Do you have any more ideas?

    Genius! Like a giant labyrinth but with extra obstacles along the way if they choose the wrong path! It could basically loop them in a circle, so they end up with the others when they get through.

    Also, that’s A really cool profile picture! Did you draw that?!

    Aww, thank you! Yes, it’s my most recent drawing of Liorah. I’ve drawn her like… 20 times XD I actually made a series of drawings, of all my female characters. I tried to decide which flowers suited each one, so that was really fun. Liorah has poppies because they’re wild, resilient, and bright. Faye has daisies, Sahar has camellias, and Chantara has lily of the valley.

    “First of all,” it says in its gravely metallic voice, “I didn’t say the winner got to live.”

    Oooh, that was a cool plot twist! I didn’t think of that!

    Okay, now the fun begins! Hmm, I wonder how Ferran will react to all of this XD

    Ferran

    A voice boomed through the room.

    “Second of all, you found a loophole, but I don’t count loopholes.”

    I sat up, pushing Azar off my lap. Who was the castle talking to? What was ‘first of all’? I seemed to be interrupting a conversation, but that was impossible since I hadn’t done anything.

    “Aww, that’s cute,” the voice crooned, ominously. “you’re trying to tell me what to do. Anyway, as interesting as this is, I’m ready to move on to the next game.”

    I grabbed my staff, ready to defend myself against whatever was coming. I had barely gotten to my feet when the wall slowly ground on its gears. Or rails. Or whatever the mechanics behind this place were.

    Game? You call this nightmare a game?” A female voice said, disbelievingly. The wall lifted, suddenly all at once.

    I was left facing two girls, one of whom I instantly recognized as Liorah. Her braid trailed over her shoulder and she was gripping her shamshir so hard her knuckles had gone white. She seemed to have spun around suddenly. She was scowling and her golden eyes flashed disdain, triumph, and fury. Blood smeared across her side and dripped from the fingers of her left hand. I felt my throat constricting. Was she hurt? What had happened? What had the castle done to her?

    I noticed the other girl. Her straight sword was raised and stained with blood. Liorah’s blood. She had hurt her. My grip on my staff tightened and I glared at her. Was this entire castle filled with nothing but enemies?

    “Ferran!” Liorah said, relief in her voice. I heard the hiss of her shamshir sliding into its scabbard.

    “You’re bleeding. Why?” I asked, not breaking eye contact with the dark-haired girl.

    “Oh, no, it’s not like that,” Liorah said, stepping in between me and the girl. She laughed, a quiet, reassuring sound.

    “It’s not Gwen’s fault. The castle said we had to fight. It’s not her fault,” Liorah repeated.

    I let my staff relax into a non-threatening, diagonal position.

    “Are you alright?” I asked, anxiously. I didn’t waste any attention on the other girl. Even if she hadn’t started it, she had still hurt Liorah.

    “It’s nothing, barely a scrape,” Liorah said. “What happened? The walls dropped and I lost you.”

    “I had an… unpleasant encounter. But it’s over now, so never mind.”

    Azar bounded up, carrying the dead, slimy monster like a trophy. Her ears and tail were at attention, announcing her triumph.

    Liorah recoiled.

    “A snake? How is it that big?”

    “It’s… not a snake,” I said, uncertainly. “Nevermind that, it’s dead now. And I don’t think it’s venomous.”

    “Greetings, and welcome to the next round!” The same metallic voice boomed.

    “There’s that blasted thing again!” Liorah said, wrathfully.

    “The next challenge will appear to your left. There are no rules, but this one advice. Do not turn back, or you may never find the way out. The wrong route will bring disaster.”

    “Lovely, isn’t it?” Liorah said, in disgust.

    A doorway opened to our left. It didn’t seem irregular, but that didn’t mean anything. All I could see behind it was a dark tunnel.

    “Gav would hate this,” Liorah commented.

    We all hesitated near it, none of us sure whether it was wise to enter.

    “Oh, you haven’t met yet, have you?” Liorah said, as though the thought just occurred to her.

    “Gwen, this is Ferran, a friend of mine. Ferran, this is Gwendolyn, we met earlier.”

    “Nice to meet you, I suppose,” I mumbled, to Gwen, without looking at her. I hated meeting new people. I never knew how to behave around them, and it always felt like they were judging me for something or other.

    I turned around and signed to Azar. Put down.

    Azar regretfully dropped the slimy thing, giving it a last, longing look.

    "Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark." The Tale of Despereaux

    #133762
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    6:55 pm.
    “We need to climb out, carino.” Rosario says slowly “before it comes back.”
    “Remember the day we met, on the Bridge?” Ehud says as he pokes a bouncy web along the walls and it makes an echoing tip tap. Reflexively she slaps his hand before he touches another thread.
    “Ow!” He rubs his hand with an pathetic pout, trying so hard to press his wide eyes into a glare that Rosario smirks and ruffles his fluffy hair. Kaleidoscope reflective lights like spies bounce along the threads and they can see the blue, clear sky above as stormy gray blue as Ehud’s eyes.
    “I remember, idiota,” She says, and after a pause, “You never told me what you were doing there?”
    A tap and another tap bounces along the webs knotting their path through the metallic trench.
    “I told you not–”
    “I didn’t do anything,” Ehud protests “it’s raining.”
    Glassy sparks patter along the webs, tip tapping away like a steady sad song. Her hand, still wrapped in his, squeezes slightly and Ehud feels his heart flutter, almost dizzy with the small physical contact. It sounds like crinkling paper, the rain, like a wadded fairytale.
    “I was looking for my mom,” he hesitates “actually I just…sorta wanted to get away from everything after that. The Bridge is so high it makes everything look kinda small ya’know.”
    Wordlessly he drops his head on her shoulder, as still as a dream. He just feels exhausted from being so cheerful all the time.
    “What do ya think happiness is?” Ehud asks
    “I have no ideas, carino.” She says, immune to his philosophical rants.
    “I guess it’s the kinda feeling you get from connecting, like being loved and being able to love back. Like when you look at something beautiful like a sunset or the sun in rain and think Somebody musta made that just for everybody to enjoy and breathe in.”
    Rosario glances down at Ehud, thinking about everything but sunsets and sunny rain. He looks so sweet, half otherworldly with his ideals. There’s only one thing she wants to do right now, right beside him and that’s…smack him on the side of his head for giving her these emotions!
    “Can you use the webs to climb up, idiota?” Rosario asks. Ehud vaults the silver wire mesh without a second thought. Then he freezes and strangles a scream as he loses balance and crashes down. Instinctively Rosario catches him so he lands in a tangled mess in her arms, his bright, confused eyes staring up at her awkwardly.
    “Uh…”
    Rosario drops him.
    “I can’t climb it…” Ehud whispers slowly propping himself up on his elbow, rubbing his face. Tears pool the corner of his red eyes down his hot cheeks. His breath is suddenly jerky and sharp as he curls into his knees. “There’s gears behind the webs it’s the Grind I can’t climb that,”
    6:53 pm.
    I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this.
    Red kaleidoscope eyes.
    I can’t lose you this isn’t happening! This is too real I can’t become a monster!

    Selling happiness. How? What is…happiness?
    I can still see it happening, my worst fears, I shot Rosy I killed her. Everyone I loved left me did I drive them away?
    And the webs, they’re…there’s different things connected to them, there’s something–I can’t place it there’s something wrong we have to get out of here there’s something wrong there’s somethi–I don’t know, it’s a spiderweb, like a lie it’s like a lie a shattered lie and it’s still alive.
    6:52 pm.
    “Ehud?” Her voice laced tense, Rosario drops to her knees beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly but he suddenly gives a cry and pushes her back. A stunned look cuts through her eyes. He’d never–he’d never pushed her away. “Ehud, talk to me.”
    He bangs his fists on the floor with a hiccupy sob.
    “Ehud…carino, just breathe,” Rosario carefully put her hands on his shoulders and he jerks back. She grips him tighter, bending over to make a less threatening figure, staring up into his panicked, scarred eyes. He hasn’t done this since the months after his mother left, and even then he’d been so clingy and so anxious to please everyone, he never pushed anyone away. “Look at me, Ehud, one breath in…now one out. Slowly, breathe.”
    6:23 pm.
    “Hold on to anything.
    In the end they all fade”
    “Letgo! Letgo!” Ehud will gasp in a strangled breath. There’ll be a low, grinding creak around them vibrating the webs.
    “Ehud! It’s me, Ehud, it’s me Rosario!” She’ll shake him just as a tendril of web skates across her shoulder with a screeching clitclatter that’ll be barely audible in the pounding rain. Spiraling webs will crisscross the walls, until the gray sky will be barely visible, shifting colors like a cursed kaleidoscope.
    6:02 pm.
    “Let go of me!” I scramble fast out of her grip. Everything’s spinning around I have to get out I have to get away from her before something–
    I get out and I just run I don’t know where I can’t let Rosy catch me I don’t want her to get hurt. There’s something up there, I saw something up there, and it’s worse than–Slam!
    6:01 pm
    The spider’s web stung to each limb, weaving and weaving like a lie. And the lights fade for both of them–
    6:00 pm
    “All fade, they all fade
    and in the end you’re all alone.”
    Click in,
    Click out
    A soft chime tickles the walls as the scenery changes.

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

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