Character Castle 2.0
- This topic has 2,849 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
Gwendolyn had just stepped out of the Mirror passageway when Liorah stepped in, followed by everyone else. Gwendolyn sat down and gave herself a minute to rest, knowing that once everyone saw what was down there (nothing was down there) they would all turn around and come back. But after a moment a highĀ distant shriek echoed down the passage, sending Gwendolyn scrambling to her feet.
She heard talking and someone shouting. It sounded like Rosario but it was oddly faint, like they had walked into another room at the end of the passage. Gwendolyn started running down the passage, ignoring the pain in her shoulder and telling herself to move faster. Someone had screamed, and it sounded like Liorah. Liorah hadn’t even screamed when the mirror was broken and the monsters had come. How could something possibly be worse then those nightmarish beasts?
She came to the end of the passageway and stoped under a open panel of light. How had she not seen this before? She listened for voices of sounds of struggle but heard none.Ā Then she heard a voice. It sounded like Rosario and her voice echoed as if she where standing in a cavern of some kind.
āWeāre going up, the higher we get the more likely weāll be able to determine our position assuming we can find an opening. High ground is generally safer and more defensible. So anyone whoās comingāā
Gwendolyn looked up at the trapdoor in the stone ceiling. It didn’t have a ladder or rope and she wasn’t about to ask for help either. She took a deep breath and leaped up, gripping the edge with her hand. She strained to Pull herself up with her one good arm, to stubborn to ask for help. Her hand started slipping when she felt a scaly claw grip her middle. She shouted in surprise and tried to wiggle loose. She wasn’t used to being held by a dragon. The claw lifted her gently up through the trapdoor and set her down gently.
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
Liorah hadnāt even screamed when the mirror was broken and the monsters had come. How could something possibly be worse then those nightmarish beasts?
Ha! I didn’t even think about that! Good eye!
DANCROW CART
Everything happened so fast. The words had hardly left my mouth when a great clamor broke out behind the wall where we had entered. The folks from the cavern started dropping in, gaping around with wide eyes and talking. The girl with the curly hair tried to grab the boy with the pink-pony, but he leapt onto the stair-case railing and monkeyed around. Thankfully, she was able to catch him before he fell, which would have certainly brought a somber tone to this adventure.
But this is no place for a kid; actually, I really don’t know how old he is. I keep thinking he’s nine at some points, but he looks more like he’s in his early teens. I’m terrible with guessing ages as it is; I once thought this guy was sixteen and then he tells me he’s twelve. That was awkward.
The air is cold and clammy, with a bit of a chill; a draft, maybe. I’m glad I have my jacket. But the dim light from the hanging lanterns is unnerving, seriously. Like some ancient cathedral full of dark magic. Magic is not real, but there are plenty of writers who like to fantasize, and I’ve read my handful of creepy novels.
āWeāre going up, the higher we get the more likely weāll be able to determine our position assuming we can find an opening. High ground is generally safer and more defensible. So anyone whoās comingāā the girl says. She sounds matter-of-fact, but somehow also slightly bossy at the same time. It tickles my nerves to be told what to do in an indirect fashion, even more so than just clean out being commanded.
I just HATE this feeling of uncertainty! I hate this feeling of not being in control, of not being the one who knows what to do, who has the plan . . .
Well, come up with a plan, then, Crow-head!
I crack my knuckles and and sigh. I’d better introduce myself, get to know these folks. Know what I’m getting into. You’re a dandy at school; shouldn’t be too different, just change the jokes. I look around at the group, and I get that little butterfly feeling in my gut. I see the girl who talked to me before; the one with the wounded arm. I decide to start there; she looks like she could use some help anyway. I might remember enough of that first-aid class I took several months ago . . . And maybe she’ll have answers.
I walk over, hands in my pockets, nervously thinking of a conversation starter. I decide on: “hey, you alright?”
**************************************************************************************************
So, I was thinking about the creatures they would have to fight as they go through each arch. I was thinking it might be hard to have all of us writing about the same arch and fight at the same time . . . Might get confusing? I just had an idea:
Maybe we could each take turns coming up with a trap, and then “playing” that trap. Then another one of us writes about the second arch, and so on. Maybe, when we each write our trap, our character could be the one to solve or defeat the trap, beast, or whatever.
I hope that made sense, and if any of y’all have a better idea, I’m all ears!!!
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Gavril
Liorah was still ashen-faced and quivering when Dancrow scrambled into the cavern.
āHey,” he said, awkwardly, “I didnāt thank yāall for gettinā me outaā that spot. And thanks fer finding this place.ā He paused, then added, āshould we let the otherās know ābout it? I can go back for āem.ā
“You’re welcome, and I believe it would be wise to alert the others–” I tried to repress a smile at the stark difference between his casual accent and the formal way I usually spoke. I knew it got worse when I was nervous, and Liorah said it made me sound pretentious, but it was a habit I couldn’t be bothered to break.
Before I could finish, the others tumbled into the room. Riure landed on the ground, disoriented. I was about to go help her when a scaly, clawed foot lowered her dog next to her. I recoiled in surprise but tried to keep my composure.
This was fine, it was all fine. We were trapped in a cave, the only obvious way out was up a staircase of some sort (which Liorah would notĀ approve of) that twisted next to a yawning chasm with no bottom in sight, and the only people there were disabled (one), reptilian, (at least two) well-armed (most) and extremely odd. (all, including Liorah. Especially Liorah.) This was fine.
I let out a long breath.
“You know what, nevermind. I believe Liorah has already taken care of that.”
“I was being efficient. I did that on purpose,” Liorah said, obviously lying. Instead of pale, she had flushed, probably in embarrassment at having screamed.
Ehud was being horribly reckless on the staircase, searching for something in his clothing. He tripped on the rails and Rosario yanked him backward. The two were staring up at something, and I followed their line of sight, just enough to see a faint pink light. Well, at least there was something up there.
āWeāre going up,ā Rosario said, in a tone that left no room for argument. My eyebrows jumped up. I was used to taking the lead, but she seemed capable, so I’d let her try.
āThe higher we get the more likely weāll be able to determine our position assuming we can find an opening. High ground is generally safer and more defensible. So anyone whoās comingāāĀ Her eyes swept over Dancrow and me. I straightened, instinctively.
I hated the feeling of being evaluated, though I should be used to it by now. I’d spent half of my life trying to live up to Father’s memory. Constantly pushing myself harder, further, no matter what. Swordfighting, horsemanship, politics, it was all one long test. A test to see if I would ever be worthy of ruling the tribe. I had to prove that I was capable, even if I would never be like Father. I was afraid that one day, I would truly be out of my depth. And there would be more than enough people to say “I told you so.”
Sometimes I wished I wasn’t the firstborn, that there would always be someone else to take the crown. Liorah didn’t care about what was going to happen to the tribe, hardly cared what was going to happen to her. She just took each day at a time, squeezing every drop of joy out of it without worrying about the future. Everything that was a test to me was a game to her. She tried out every trick she could invent on her mare, trying to outperform everyone, especially me. Swordfighting was a fun exercise, nothing more than another area to compete at. And politics… That was just a steady supply of amusing occurrences and making fun of people she didn’t like.
I nodded, rising to yet another challenge. I would do it. I had to. Failure was never an option.
I walked toward the narrow bridge across the chasm and strode across it, shutting my ears to the ominous creaking of the wood beneath me and the way it swayed. It wasn’t more than a few steps, and I was at the bottom of the staircase before I knew it.
“Are you insane!?” Liorah asked, “No, nevermind, I know you are.” Her golden eyes were round with fright.
“Come on, it’s pretty solid,” I lied through my teeth.
“Not in a million years. I’d honestly rather die. Which I’ll probably do anyway, because that bridge is going to collapse and I’m going to break my neck,” Liorah said, darkly.
“You should be used to that by now. Breaking your neck isn’t a concern when you’re vaulting onto your horse at a full canter.”
“You do that too,” Liorah said, as though it disproved my point.
Well, yes, I did. All Lehabim knew tricks like that since they were invaluable in a battle.
“So? I’m better at it than you are,” I goaded. I needed to get her bickering. It always distracted her, and maybe I could get her worked up enough that she would forget her fear and just get across that bridge.
Liorah tossed her braid over her shoulder, raising her chin defiantly.
“Says the person who fell off just last week,” she snapped.
“At least I’m not too scared to walk two steps across a very solid bridge,” I taunted.
Liorah narrowed her eyes and edged nearer the bridge.
“Scared?” I mocked, holding out my hand for her to take. This would probably be an amusing scene to watch. My actions blatantly conflicted with my mocking words, but Liorah was too preoccupied to notice.
“At least this is a real danger,” Liorah mumbled, clearly alluding to my phobia of the dark.
She stepped onto the bridge gingerly, her boots making a hollow thump on the wood. She recoiled, but I had already gripped her hand and tugged her forward.
“Don’t look down, you’ll scare yourself,” I said,
Liorah saw this as the perfect opportunity to demonstrate her independence and complete and utter lack of sense.
She looked down, and promptly lost her balance, tilting precariously to the side.
I yanked her across, terrified she would fall. She fell against me, pushing me back against the metal stairs. I pulled her close to me, away from the chasm.
“Silly goose,” I said, affectionately.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
I totally forgot to respond to you!! So sorry! *face-palm*
LOL! Dancrowās reaction is hilarious! And really realistic too XD Liorah and Gavril were just like āHuh. Cool.ā
Aw, thank you so much!!! I don’t know about Liorah and Gavril, but Dan comes from a world with zero magic, so this is going to be especially wild for him š
I actually love the bit of awkwardness, it makes him seem lessā¦ brash and vain, like a bit more relatable. It really works!
YES! *does weird happy dance* Thank you! That is exactly what I was going for, and you just confirmed it. Thank you!!!
The impulsive+voice-of-reason is one of my all-time favorite relationships. Probably why I have so many XD Liorah is usually the impulsive one, everyone else seems logical compared to her.
In movies, I always love the brash one! Like Mater in Cars!
Yeah, all my places look really different too, but I somehow know how theyāre connected? Itās really weird actually XD Like, I could probably navigate it, if I had to.
So awesome! My dreams are everywhere, sometimes inspired by something I read or watched that day, sometimes just plain bizarre. But my sis says that in her dreams, she knows that she’s in a ‘movie.’ Like, she’ll actually say “cut!” in her dreams and they’ll stop filming, something like that, LOL
Yeah, I love how the reader is generally almost ātrainedā to believe the narrator, so if the narrator just explains it away, the reader will dismiss it. Itās literally my favorite technique to use since it works every single time. I actually had one of my characters literally predict an event that will occur (much later, in the next book) and every one of my beta-readers just skimmed over it because Liorah waved it away. XD
That’s hilarious!!! But you’re right, we are ‘trained’ to believe what the narrator says, or, if we don’t, we’re at least questioning ourselves on the validity of whatever was said/happened.
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Liorah hadnāt even screamed when the mirror was broken and the monsters had come. How could something possibly be worse then those nightmarish beasts?
Ha! I didnāt even think about that! Good eye!Ooh, this gives me the perfect opportunity to infodump! This was actually a deliberate choice on my part, not an accident. Liorah didn’t scream when she saw the beasts because she had some warning (growling) and she knew what to do. All she had to do was smack them with her sword, so she felt in control of that situation. Also, if you work with horses for any length of time, you literally teach yourself not to scream when you get scared, and it becomes a habit. (If y’all ever need that for a character XD) BUT, she did when she was on the edge of the chasm because a. she wasn’t expecting it b. She couldn’t really do much about it and c. she’s horrified of heights, and not used to any.
Aw, thank you so much!!! I donāt know about Liorah and Gavril, but Dan comes from a world with zero magic, so this is going to be especially wild for him
Yeah, same for Liorah and Gavril! My world has no magic and no strange beasts and stuff, so… that’s fun XD Also, because of the setting, they aren’t used to a lot of things we consider normal, like snow/ cold, staircases, two-story buildings, and anything modern like electricity, (obviously XD) So, Liorah has seen like– two staircases. Ever. XD I honestly have no idea how Gavril’s going to coax/convince her to climb them. She isn’t particularly happy with the idea XD
YES! *does weird happy dance* Thank you! That is exactly what I was going for, and you just confirmed it.Ā ThankĀ you!!!
If that was your intent, your execution of it is perfect! Good job! I actually really like Dancrow, even though he’s so…I guess the word’s abrasive? I actually have a character a little like him, Ferran. I still intend to bring him in some time since he’s severely underdeveloped. But not now! I’m having too much fun with Liorah and Gavril!
Maybe we could each take turns coming up with a trap, and then āplayingā that trap. Then another one of us writes about the second arch, and so on. Maybe, when we each write our trap, our character could be the one to solve or defeat the trap, beast, or whatever.
Brilliant idea! Sounds perfect! I actually have a pretty interesting idea already. If y’all don’t mind, I’d like to go pretty early. The trap might start some conflict, and it’s more fun if the characters have more trials right after that. Also, how many characters are in the castle rn?
(Riure, Dancrow, Liorah, Gavril, Gwen, Rilyn, Konyar, Allen, Ehud, and Rosario.) So… 10 I guess? Also, I remember two characters named Eltar and Wen, and I’ve heard a King Kami mentioned, but I think they’ve been inactive for a long time.
Could y’all just correct me if I missed anyone?
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Also, if you work with horses for any length of time, you literally teach yourself not to scream when you get scared, and it becomes a habit. (If yāall ever need that for a character XD)
Wait, do you work with/own horses? I love horses! My family has one, plus one pony, one mule, and one donkey. XD
Also, I was thinking about it this morning, and do you write your stories in Afrikaans? What about your posts on here? Sry if I’m prying. š
Yeah, I tagged @millennium, but she hasn’t responded. As for Eltar and Wen, yeah, they’ve been inactive for a while. Are they still with us?
And feel free to go ahead and spring thy trap! Erm… IDK how Riure’s going to get over there, though. :/
Ooh, this gives me the perfect opportunity to infodump! This was actually a deliberate choice on my part, not an accident. Liorah didnāt scream when she saw the beasts because she had some warning (growling) and she knew what to do. All she had to do was smack them with her sword, so she felt in control of that situation. Also, if you work with horses for any length of time, you literally teach yourself not to scream when you get scared, and it becomes a habit. (If yāall ever need that for a character XD) BUT, she did when she was on the edge of the chasm because a. she wasnāt expecting it b. She couldnāt really do much about it and c. sheās horrified of heights, and not used to any.
Oh man! I didn’t even think about that being the reason for her scream, but it makes sense! And that horse fact is really cool; good thing to know, LOL
Yeah, same for Liorah and Gavril! My world has no magic and no strange beasts and stuff, soā¦ thatās fun XD Also, because of the setting, they arenāt used to a lot of things we consider normal, like snow/ cold, staircases, two-story buildings, and anything modern like electricity, (obviously XD) So, Liorah has seen likeā two staircases. Ever. XD I honestly have no idea how Gavrilās going to coax/convince her to climb them. She isnāt particularly happy with the idea XD
Ha ha! š I never thought about her not ever seeing staircases, XD If you need help getting her up, I could always get Dan to throw in a comment if need be! His world is pretty much like 1940’s Europe/America, so when it comes to stuff like this he’s pretty informed. š
If that was your intent, your execution of it is perfect! Good job! I actually really like Dancrow, even though heās soā¦I guess the wordās abrasive? I actually have a character a little like him, Ferran. I still intend to bring him in some time since heās severely underdeveloped. But not now! Iām having too much fun with Liorah and Gavril!
Aw, thank you so much! I’m glad, because I wanted to make him likable so readers wouldn’t shy away from him. And “abrasive” is the perfect word!! I guess you could say he’s like sandpaper on the outside, and rubbery on the inside š And after you are done torturing Liorah and Gavril (has anybody ever called him “Gav” for short? Dan will probably do that at some point, fwi š ) bring in Ferran! I’d love to “meet” him!
Brilliant idea! Sounds perfect! I actually have a pretty interesting idea already. If yāall donāt mind, Iād like to go pretty early. The trap might start some conflict, and itās more fun if the characters have more trials right after that. Also, how many characters are in the castle?
Go for it! š A little bit of conflict always stirs things up . . .
Ā I love horses! My family has one, plus one pony, one mule, and one donkey. XD
*jaw-drops* You are living my dream. Do you have a lot of land then? And do you live near mountains? Or is it mostly flat? And is it easy caring for all those animals? Sorry for all the questions, but yeah, that’s awesome!
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Wait, do you work with/own horses? I love horses! My family has one, plus one pony, one mule, and one donkey. XD
That’s so awesome! What are their names, and what are they like? I have two horses, precious, antique Lightning, and my beloved Djadon, who taught me to sit a pretty impressive variety of bucks. Gavril and Liorah’s horses are not-so-subtly based on mine XD I have so much fun writing the horsey scenes. (Yes, there are a ton.)
Also, I was thinking about it this morning, and do you write your stories in Afrikaans? What about your posts on here? Sry if Iām prying.
It’s totally fine š No, I write everything in English. I couldn’t write Afrikaans if I tried XD I mostly read English, and it’s by far my favorite language, so I write in that. XD It’s very… expressive, I guess.
Oh man! I didnāt even think about that being the reason for her scream, but it makes sense! And that horse fact is really cool; good thing to know, LOL
I’m mostly speaking from personal experience there, and from what I’ve seen around other equestrians. I’ve seen three horses panic (Melodramatically) at once, and there was like- dead silence XD
Ha ha!Ā Ā I never thought about her not ever seeing staircases, XD If you need help getting her up, I could always get Dan to throw in a comment if need be!
Ooh, that might actually really help! I think convincing her up those stairs is beyond Gavril. If Dancrow makes any comment, I’ll make sure Liorah sufficiently over-reacts to it. Because she’s like that. XD
(has anybody ever called him āGavā for short? Dan will probably do that at some point, fwiĀ Ā )
Yep! Liorah and Gavril practically only call each other Li’ah and Gav. Gavril doesn’t mind, and even if he did, he would just laugh it off, so go ahead! I’m actually curious how he’ll react.
And after you are done torturing Liorah and Gavril bring in Ferran! Iād love to āmeetā him!
Yeah, Ferran’s a character I’m having some trouble with. His purpose in the story has shiftedĀ dramatically.Ā He was originally intended to be a (very unlikeable) minor antagonist, but one of my alpha-readers promptly endowed him with ‘favorite character’ status, so… That didn’t go as planned…
I couldn’t understand why people liked him, but Brandon Sanderson’s ‘Likeability-Proactivity-Competence’ thingy cleared it up a LOT. He was really proactive and quite competent, so that canceled out his abrasiveness. I ended up changing his motives, backstory, family, role, and relationships, so… I don’t really know him anymore XD.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Gavril
I stared up the stairs. They circled around and around, like the stairways in the castle in Liqeni, a neighbouring country we’d visited once. I wasn’t entirely sure about this, but we didn’t have an alternative, so I’d have to make it work. And get Liorah up there.Ā ThatĀ would not be easy.
I looked up, trying to see an end to the staircase. Sure enough, there was a dark splotch that interrupted the gleam of the metal stairs. It looked like a room, hovering in midair, though one wall was firmly attached to the stone. The staircase led up to it and continued out the other side. We’d have to go through it, there was no way around.
“Li’ah, look, there.” I pointed to the room. “You only have to go to that. It’s not that high.”
Liorah looked at me as though I’d turned into a horse.
“‘Not that high’?” She mimicked. “That’s like… three times my height off the ground.”
“Come on, you can do it.”
Liorah shook her head decidedly.
“No. Nonono. Not in a million years.”
That’s what you said about the bridge, yet here we are. I wanted to say but decided that wouldn’t help. I’d better let her get used to the idea.
I looked over my shoulder, hoping to see some sort of solution to my problem. My eyes swept over the crowd, picking out the few people I knew. Ehud and Rosario had already crossed the bridge, Dancrow and Gwen stood talking to each other, and the others could make it across just fine.
Riure.Ā Where was she? Had she made it? Was she alright, or had she gotten lost?Ā The chasm.Ā Ā Frantically, I searched for her among the others. A breath of relief rushed from me as I spotted her, huddled in the curve of the wall. Her black-and-white dog crouched by her side.
I inched across the bridge again, ignoring the creaking wood. Liorah wouldn’t venture away from the firm grip she’d had on the staircase. I strode toward Riure, my boots thudding loudly across the stone. They were better suited to riding my mare than to this, but they were comfortable and I could live with the noise.
“Excuse me, Riure? I’m Gavril, Liorah’s brother,” I said. I wasn’t sure if she could recognize my voice, or if she would remember me, and I didn’t want to startle her.
“There’s a large chasm on the other side of the room. There’s a staircase on the other side. We’re going to try to go up it, but we need to get across the chasm first. There’s a bridge, but it’s rather narrow.”
I paused, trying to put together the right words so I didn’t offend her. If I wasn’t careful, I might make it sound as though I thought she was weak, or helpless. She wasn’t, not even close. I couldn’t imagine staying this calm in an unfamiliar place, with people you hardly knew and only able to rely on your other senses. It was impressive.
“I was wondering if you could use any help,” I said, carefully.
________________
Ermā¦ IDK how Riureās going to get over there, though. :/
I think this will work! It’s in character for Gavril too, so that works.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Thatās so awesome! What are their names, and what are they like?
The horse is a red-roan paint Quarter Horse named Roxy (personally I don’t like that name, but what can you do? *shrugs*); the mule is sorrel with a blonde mane and tail, her name is Cassie; the donkey is really fat and named Sassafras (Sassy for short), she and Cassie are best buddies; and the pony is… I don’t even know what to call her color. She’s brown with gold hair here and there, and tiny fuzzy ears that are SO CUTE. Her name is Dahlia (I call her Dally). Right now Roxy and Dally are sharing a pen behind our barn for diet’s sake, while Cassie and Sassy share the pasture with the cows. XD
Roxy is very sweet. She has this habit of giving you hugs if you hug her, and while she did make quite a reputation for herself when we first got her (ahem, she 1. broke her tail 2. had this pulling problem where she’d break lead ropes and halters any time she was tied up 3. had a pawing problem, and 4. runs circles around when you try to catch her), but she’s my overall favorite. Mostly b/c I go talk to her and pet her and cry into her mane and lunge her more than I ride her. XD
Sassy is also very sweet. She is kind of flighty, too, though, so you can’t make sudden moves or she’ll take off. She has this curious streak that makes it hard for her to stay away, though. XD
Cassie is grouchy. š Her favorite thing to do when you come into the pasture is to check and see if you have treats and then threaten to bite you for petting her. She does have a soft side, though.
Dahlia is probably the most playful of the bunch, but she’s also the youngest (Roxy beat her by about a decade). She likes snuggles, her rump getting the most vigorous scratches possible, and her buddies. She has this really funny thing where if she wants pet she’ll stick her head as high up into the air as it’ll go (which isn’t terribly high, her being a Shetland and all) then stick her lips out and show her teeth in a friendly grin. XD But b/c her previous owners fed her a lot, she has this hoof problem, so if she gets green grass again it’ll probably kill her. š So she’s kept in the pen and gets fed hay. I also take her for walks, instead of taking the dog. XD
Okay, that was probably way more information than you ever wanted. š Sry for the splurge!
I have two horses, precious, antique Lightning, and my beloved Djadon, who taught me to sit a pretty impressive variety of bucks. Gavril and Liorahās horses are not-so-subtly based on mine XD I have so much fun writing the horsey scenes. (Yes, there are a ton.)
HAHA! ANOTHER HORSEY SCENE WRITER!! I realized after writing my first novel that as much as I love horses, I had one horsey scene. One. And it wasn’t really that horsey. So now my characters are about to pick out some mounts and I’m going to be most happy. XD
Djadon sounds like my kind of horse!! I was in a drill team once, and the horse that I rode had arthritis (although we didn’t know it). So, whenever I asked him to lope, he’d start crowhopping. The first time I didn’t even notice, lol. XD I thought he just had a very bouncy lope, but the lady behind me was like, “Ah! Slow him down! Are you okay?!” Then we lunged him and found out that he does that whenever he has to lope, and so we stopped using him. XD
I write everything in English. I couldnāt write Afrikaans if I tried XD I mostly read English, and itās by far my favorite language, so I write in that. XD Itās veryā¦ expressive, I guess.
That’s so cool!
*jaw-drops* You are living my dream. Do you have a lot of land then? And do you live near mountains? Or is it mostly flat? And is it easy caring for all those animals? Sorry for all the questions, but yeah, thatās awesome!
This doesn’t qualify as a lot of land where I live, but we have about 40 acres. Half of it is desert and sagebrush, though, and the other half is pasture/hay field. And yep, I am completely surrounded by mountains where I am! In fact, I get nervous when I see pictures of completely flat places, like, “how is that possible?!” I was born and am being raised here, and the mountains offer quite a bit of security from tornadoes and stuff like that, so it’s nice. I LOVE our mountains.
Erm, I actually don’t do much of the caring for them. XD I’m allergic to hay and slightly allergic to horses, so in the winter, when we feed hay, I don’t do anything, and during shedding season I mostly avoid them, sadly enough. So… no? We have pasture too, though, so that really keeps our workload down.
What about you? Where do you live (if you can say)?
āExcuse me, Riure? Iām Gavril, Liorahās brother.”
Riure looked in the voice’s direction, offering a smile. She remembered him, and his walk. He must be wearing some kind of large boot, for he kind of just… clomped around the room.
āThereās a large chasm on the other side of the room,” the prince continued. “Thereās a staircase on the other side. Weāre going to try to go up it, but we need to get across the chasm first. Thereās a bridge, but itās rather narrow.ā
Oh.Ā Riure could tell what he was getting at. There was no way she’d be able to get across by herself. Even Sadiq probably wouldn’t be able to help her, if the bridge was narrow. They wouldn’t be able to walk side by side. One wrong step, and…
āI was wondering if you could use any help,ā Prince Gavril finished, after a moment of thought.
“We’re climbing the stairs?” Riure asked.
“Yes,” he confirmed.
Riure laughed. “Oh boy. That’ll be fun. I’d better go in back, so I don’t slow anyone down.”
The prince laughed with her. Sadiq stiffened, but didn’t growl, which surprised Riure.
“And yes, I think it’d be nice to have help. Thanks for offering.” She smiled again, her sightless eyes roaming in his direction.
———————-
Gavril
āWeāre climbing the stairs?ā Riure asked.
I nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see me and quickly added.
“Yes.”
Riure laughed her bright, silvery laugh.
āOh boy. Thatāll be fun. Iād better go in back, so I donāt slow anyone down.ā
I chuckled, enough to seem polite, but not enough that it would seem as though I was laughing at her.
āAnd yes, I think itād be nice to have help. Thanks for offering.ā She smiled, her eyes fixed on a point near me.
I offered my arm and she took it, her small fingers clutching a firm hold on the rough red fabric.
“Don’t worry, you can’t possibly be slower than Liorah,” I whispered as though I was sharing a secret. “She’s horrified of heights. It was almost impossible to get her across the bridge, and there’s no earthly way I’ll get her onto the stairs. It’ll take prayer and a medium-sized miracle to get her up there.” I said, only half-joking.
“I’d appreciate it if you have a prayer to spare. I’m afraid mine won’t be enough this time,” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. I bit my tongue, wishing I hadn’t said anything. Not that I was ashamed of my faith, to the contrary, but I didn’t go around saying things like that. In my position, a comment like that could spark a conflict, and conflict could endanger others.
“I’m sorry, I don’t– I don’t know if you–” I stammered, at a loss for words for the first time in a long while. Why had I said that?! Many– most– Lehabim believed as we did, but it wasn’t nearly as universal among the other tribes and those from other countries.
We reached the chasm and I swallowed, anxiety writhing in my stomach. Now I was responsible for another life besides my own. I couldn’t afford to make a mistake.
“The chasm is about three steps across, four for you. I’ll go ahead and walk backward. Just hold my hands, and I’ll make sure nothing happens.”
It was a promise I was ill-equipped to make, but I would rather fall in the chasm myself than allow anything to happen to her.
Riure nodded, her sightless eyes full of trust. Trust I didn’t deserve, and I was afraid I couldn’t live up to. I turned, carefully placing my feet so I could keep my balance.
Riure inched after me. Her hands gripped mine so tightly it hurt, but I didn’t say anything. It must have been a terrifying experience to cross that bridge without knowing how deep the chasm was, or how narrow the bridge. Once or twice, her feet stepped too near the edge that my throat closed, but I pulled her away just in time.
“Good job, one more step.” I coaxed. The bridge gave an ominous creak and I tugged her across, much harder than I’d intended. She stumbled but kept her balance. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, she was on solid ground once more. Her dog padded after her, unconcerned by the height.
“Here’s the banister,” I said, placing her hand on it. “You’re about two steps away from the cliff, so don’t go far.” I was slightly breathless from the experience. It had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. The thought that a single mistake on my part might cost her her life was frightening.
“Well done, you did that perfectly,” I told Riure. The tension slowly drained out of me.
________________________
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Okay, that was probably way more information than you ever wanted.Ā Ā Sry for the splurge!
Never too much ponies!!! I love hearing about them! Roxy sounds like quite the personality, so do the others XD Dally’s habit sounds sooo familiar! Donnie (That’s what I usually call Djadon) does that too, he’s figured out it earns him treats. XD
Djadon sounds like my kind of horse!!
He’s my kind of horse too XD He has kind of a reputation at the stable where I ride XD He’s really young, only 6, and pretty green. He only does extremes, he’ll either be perfectĀ and the best horse I’ve ever ridden and do exactly the right thing, or he’ll decide that a leaf will kill him if he goes past it, and he’ll just sort of ‘fly’ through the arena in a magnificent combination of bucking, bolting and jumping. Ah, yes. Fun times. He’s a very sassy horsey XD He likes giving (enthusiastic) kissies by rubbing his nose over my face, and he can ‘smile’ like Dally on command. He’s honestly the cutest thing <3
Lightning is antique like I mentioned before XD She’s– 29, I think. She used to be a school pony, so she’s completely bomb-proof and the quietest mare I’ve ever known. But she’s still really playful and will often race Donnie and win. (She’s freakishly fast for her age) Or she’ll escape and have a lovely frolic while we try to catch her. She doesn’t get ridden anymore, she’s retired.
Both horses are sorrels with cream manes, though Lighting’s mane is kind of streaked. Donnie has the loveliest mane, it’s down to his legs, and really thick and wavy. I have to keep it braided so it doesn’t get in the way of the reins, but it’s sooo pretty.
Sorry, now I’m doing the infodump XD I always talk too much about my ponies.
I was in a drill team once,
That’s so cool! Do you ride western?
HAHA! ANOTHER HORSEY SCENE WRITER!! I realized after writing my first novel that as much as I love horses, I had one horsey scene. One. And it wasnāt really that horsey. So now my characters are about to pick out some mounts and Iām going to be most happy. XD
Yess!! It’s so much fun!! I have a lot of horsey scenes, basically whenever my characters have to travel, or for battles. Liorah and Gavril do some trick riding (which I’m not that familiar with) so that makes the battle scenes really interesting! It’s fun to write a mounted battle since horses are always a bit unpredictable. I really loved writing Maewyn, Liorah’s horse, especially, since she’s pretty green andĀ veryĀ sassy. (Like Liorah XD They’re a good match.)
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
*plops down onto bed, sighs, then picks up computer and begins to write. . . .*
So, after a busy day, I sit down to type on the forum. I went to the orthodontist this morning, and had my guitar lesson in the afternoon . . . then this evening I spilled honey-mustard on
a. the floor
b. the wall
c. the refrigerator
d. myself, including inside my ear (don’t ask)
Iām mostly speaking from personal experience there, and from what Iāve seen around other equestrians. Iāve seen three horses panicĀ (Melodramatically)Ā at once, and there was like- dead silence XD
Oh dear! My sis once had a horse step on her foot (not all the way, though, bc she said it didn’t hurt that bad). I took a couple of lessons a long while ago myself, and this one horse another girl was riding went off at a gallop — twice: once when we were showing our parents what we learned, and once on our trail ride . . . one of the horses stepped in a hornets nest, and whoosh! that horse took off, LOL
Ooh, that might actually really help! I think convincing her up those stairs is beyond Gavril. If Dancrow makes any comment, Iāll make sure Liorah sufficiently over-reacts to it. Because sheās like that. XD
I’m cooking up comments now, LOL . . . š
Yep! Liorah and Gavril practically only call each other Liāah and Gav. Gavril doesnāt mind, and even if he did, he would just laugh it off, so go ahead! Iām actually curious how heāll react.
Li’ah! Good, thanks for that contraction, bc now I can have Dan use it! š
Yeah, Ferranās a character Iām having some trouble with. His purpose in the story has shifted dramatically. He was originally intended to be a (very unlikeable) minor antagonist, but one of my alpha-readers promptly endowed him with āfavorite characterā status, soā¦ That didnāt go as plannedā¦
Ha! Well, at least your listening to your readers, LOL
I couldnāt understand why people liked him, but Brandon Sandersonās āLikeability-Proactivity-Competenceā thingy cleared it up a LOT. He was really proactive and quite competent, so that canceled out his abrasiveness. I ended up changing his motives, backstory, family, role, and relationships, soā¦ I donāt really know him anymore XD.
Wow, that’s really interesting! This is why I love chatting with y’all, XD This also brings up another ‘wondering’ of mine . . . do people like characters because they want to be like that character, or because they areĀ like that character? What do you and @everbody-else think?
This doesnāt qualify as a lot of land where I live, but we have about 40 acres. Half of it is desert and sagebrush, though, and the other half is pasture/hay field. And yep, I am completely surrounded by mountains where I am! In fact, I get nervous when I see pictures of completely flat places, like, āhow is that possible?!ā I was born and am being raised here, and the mountains offer quite a bit of security from tornadoes and stuff like that, so itās nice. I LOVE our mountains.
*swoons* you don’t know how lucky you are!!!!! Like, don’t ever,Ā ever,Ā take that for granted! I love mountains, and yeah, when I see too much flat land I get a weird feeling in my stomach, LOL I need trees, lots of trees.
Erm, I actually donāt do much of the caring for them. XD Iām allergic to hay and slightly allergic to horses, so in the winter, when we feed hay, I donāt do anything, and during shedding season I mostly avoid them, sadly enough. Soā¦ no? We have pasture too, though, so that really keeps our workload down.
At least you can still enjoy them! And having pasture is great; I always love driving by pastures and seeing horses in them, ’tis so peaceful!
What about you? Where do you live (if you can say)?
I live in North Carolina (its actually not that interesting)! We’re in a rental, and we’re looking for a house with at least two acres so we can have a garden and maybe a hobby farm! I can’t wait!!! I also can’t wait for our poor dog to have somewhere to run around freely, because I’m not good about walking him . . . our neighborhood is one of those where the houses are all squeezed next to each other. My mom calls them “cookie-cutter houses.” XD I will have a new appreciation for property when we move, heh heh. But at least there is a creek flowing through the neighborhood, so we can hang around down there. Still, I want some land . . .
And btw, y’all’s horses sound SO interesting! I loved reading about them; horses really do have different personalities! I don’t know what Bobby’s (my dog’s) personality is . . . he’s a Mini Schnauzer, but thinks he is a German Shepherd or something, LOL I like to brag that he’s run about 20 miles an hour beside me on my bike š He doesn’t have the traditional Schnauzer cut; his ears aren’t cropped, so he’s a LOT cuter than most. He’s also not a lap dog, we found that out after we got him . . . He’s German bred to catch rats, XD
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Ha ha, yeah. What with all the forest fires last summer, I learned not to take the security of the mountains for granted. We had so much smoke that my favorite mountains (and the ones closest to us) completely disappeared, leaving… flatness. It was honestly pretty scary. XD
And your dog sounds cool, as does your (hopefully) new property. š We have a creek that we play in in the summer; my older sib’s dog really loves it. š
- The forum ‘Private: Fantasy Writers’ is closed to new topics and replies.
