Character Castle 2.0
September 23, 2020 at 4:52 pm #119857
That was so long. 😅
Ten million firefliesSeptember 23, 2020 at 5:21 pm #119860Wingiby Iggiby@wingiby-iggiby
This is fun, I love the fact that you can just create a whole new scene whenever you want. you can just let your imagination go.
I know, right?! It’s totally awesome! And I wonder why you couldn’t edit? Usually it lets you do so after you post it, but if you let it go to long the edit button goes away. Maybe that happened? And I always want to edit my posts, lol
I love your 1st Person narrative!! It really seeps with Ahab’s character and has a great tone!
Thanks so much!!! 😀
Yes! We totally learn from the sloppy stuff, ’cause then we know what we don’t ever want to do again, lol 😛
………….. I’ve been living a lie!! A LIE!! What is the world coming to??!!!
Yup, pretty much 😛
Aw, thank you. I’ll admit, I was very sad after writing it. Her feelings became my feelings. And yes, I’m with you on the screaming into a pillow thing…
Ha ha, your welcome 😉
Thank you (for your comments on my post) so much!!!! And I should actually try screaming into a pillow, I bet it would be fun…..
Your. Characters. Are. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Enunwen’s back story sounds so sad! Would now be a good time to try that pillow-screaming-thing? And that half-elf idea is so cool…..
That was not to long at all! I loved it! Erin’s fears are so understandable and realistic; you can feel for her ’cause you can just imagine what those things would feel like…. And, btw, I love how she was joshing with Ehud!
I know you got mountains to climb,
But always stay humble and kind -- Tim McGrawSeptember 23, 2020 at 5:22 pm #119861Wingiby Iggiby@wingiby-iggiby
I’ll try to get Ahab’s part worked out soon!
I know you got mountains to climb,
But always stay humble and kind -- Tim McGrawSeptember 23, 2020 at 7:16 pm #119872
Definitely! We have to learn from our mistakes, there’s really no other way. My mom knows someone who says, “There’s no win or lose. There’s win or learn,” which I think is very true 😉
You’re welcome! And yes, you should try screaming into a pillow for real. I’ll admit, on Sunday I did it like five times bc I was watching football, and the game was so close, but we won! So yes, it was very stressful and intense, so I found myself screaming into the couch pillows a lot. (And yes, I LOVE football :P)
And gotcha! I look forward to learning what his worst fear is..
Like Wingiby Iggiby said, don’t worry ’bout it!! I really enjoyed reading it!
Wow, your characters sound soooo cool. I really like Eltar’s name, it has a ring to it that I like. I can’t wait to meet them! Or, er, for my character to meet them, lol.
Working on Colma’s worst fear thing-y now…
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader ~RFSeptember 23, 2020 at 8:44 pm #119873September 23, 2020 at 8:45 pm #119874
Ha!!! It worked! Thank you so much!
September 23, 2020 at 9:07 pm #119876
- This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Jasmine.
@wingiby-Iggiby I didn’t notice the edit button until you told me about it! Goodness, I’m learning all kinds of new things today!
Brin had heard it. a sigh, almost undetected over the wind, but Brin had heard it. She opened one eye cautiously. About three feet away, lay a black haired women. Brin had heard of tales of humans, some good and some bad. But this one seemed harmless at the moment, so Brin crept up silently, making not a sound. Curiosity took over and Brin leaned over and sniffed her. She smelled like the jungle where Brin had just been at.
p.s. Brin also hates being called “cute”. Which is unfortunate for her, cause she is a fox, and foxes are often considered cute.
“Sorry Brin.”😏September 23, 2020 at 9:33 pm #119878
So, I was writing Colma’s worst fear thing, but it turned out so long I’m going to post it in two sections. Sorry! Here’s the first part:
“I am getting out of here, but you can follow if you may. Just don’t try any tricks, alright?” As Ahab said this, Colma thought she saw Allen flying towards her with claws, looking like they belonged to the creature which had nearly killed them. They seemed like they would make great knives.
Suddenly, the word started spiraling like she was caught in a blizzard of colorful snow. Colma, already unsteady on her feet, lost her balance and toppled to the ground. It began swirling so rapidly she wondered if she would be flung off the ground and into the air. Colma curled into a ball and prayed for it to stop.
Abruptly, it did. As quickly as it had started, it stopped. She cracked open an eye and sat up. The stone floor, different from the tile in the jungle-y place, was ice cold under her hands, and Colma’s breath billowed in silver plumes before her. She appeared to be in a dark corridor with mirrors of all different shapes and sizes lining the walls regularly. Their surfaces were musty and trimmed with cobwebs, though any spider which had once lived there was long gone. It looked like a lifeless, cold, clammy place.
Not again, she lamented mentally. Colma slowly stood up and revolved in a circle, her multitude of reflections copying her. Her shuffling feet on the ground sounded unsettlingly loud, echoing down the hall. She peered down it, but only saw darkness, like each direction only led to this place’s black, gaping mouth. Colma gulped, but figured the only way to get out was to enter the beast’s maw. She tentatively crept down one direction, glancing at the mirrors as she went. Some were so small they could fit into Colma’s hands, while others were taller than she was. On most of their surfaces black, flakey skin (or what looked like skin) slithered over it. Her image seemed warped and unnatural on its face. It gave her chills to look at it, like it was the evil version of her staring at her. A thought that caused shivers to dance down her spine occurred to her. Maybe it wasn’t the evil version of her, maybe it was the evil, the sin, in being mirrored.
Unsettled, she glanced away and continued hobbling down the hall, whose walls seemed to press closer and closer, until she couldn’t avoid seeing the mirrors. Her reflection appeared to grin wickedly at her. Colma’s breath began coming in shallow gasps.
Suddenly, the path veered into a sharp left. In this wider hall, vines, thicker than her arms, slunk around cracked corners and the mirror’s exquisite frames. She began limping faster, wishing to leave these hallways as soon as possible.
The corridor turned left again, but in this hall the walls, the ground, the ceiling–everything–was white, the exact color of bleached bones. Black squares checkered the ground in a dizzying pattern. The hairs on the back of her neck pointed straight up when she realized that it looked exactly like the kitchen in the castle, without the appliances and with many mirrors. She fairly ran out of that hall, unwanted memories jeering at her. Colma skidded around a bend again. Here, it was a duplicate of the royal dining room, where the monarchs had feasted so many times. She dashed down the long stretch, her reflections in the mirror appearing to laugh at her. Colma bolted around another twist, banging her shoulder into the wall as turned.
She stopped short. It resembled Orson’s barn exactly. The barn where he had died. Colma froze, her wide ice-y eyes roving over every corner. The gears in her mind creaked to a stop. This was too much. The castle was mocking her.
A fervent voice shattered the silence from behind the corner. Colma jumped out of her skin and spun around. It sounded just like Queen Elora’s voice. It was warm and musical, as if beckoning her to sit down and have a chat. The sound grew closer like it was about to round the sharp wall. Colma didn’t stop to think. She dashed down the hall as quickly as she could with her leg. Her footsteps clunked painfully loud, but she didn’t care. As far as she could see, someone’s ghost who she had murdered was behind her. A mansculine voice began singing in a deep bass tone from the way she had been running. It was King Callum’s voice.
Colma swerved to stop, her heart thundering in her ears so loudly it nearly drowned out the chattering and singing.
Which way to go? King Callum or Queen Elora? Colma started stumbling against the wall, but was surprised when her back, instead of hitting it, kissed cool air. She whirled around and observed a new tunnel, narrower and pitch-black, which she was sure hadn’t been there before. But as they neared, so close that if there had been light Colma would’ve seen their shadows, she decided it was her best option. Without a second thought, she plunged into it. After going a few steps, the ground beneath her vanished. For a split second her feet lamely nudged the empty air and got a tingling feeling like something vital was missing. Then she tumbled down… down… down…. Colma cringed, expecting she would to smack the floor any minute, and that would be the end.
But when she peeked out of an eye, she was standing in a circular, dark room, with one beam of white light shining through a round hole in the ceiling far above. Colma hesitantly lowered her shoulders then soaked in the brand new scene.
Suddenly, a sound which she thought she would never hear again, greeted her ears like a jingling bell.
Colma’s knees gave away.
All of that probably sounded like nonsense, but it represented a lot from Colma’s past 😉
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader ~RFSeptember 23, 2020 at 9:34 pm #119879
Lol, that’s so funny. I will remember that XD
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader ~RFSeptember 23, 2020 at 10:17 pm #119884
Dang, there were a lot of typos in there!! Let me fix some:
*Her footsteps clunked loudly, but she didn’t care.
*Maybe it wasn’t the evil version of her, maybe it was the evil, the sin, in her being mirrored.
Sorry, there are probably a whole lot more XDSeptember 23, 2020 at 10:42 pm #119889Rusted Knight@rusted-knight
Allen saw Calixta. She was arguing with Ahab the giant. What use was that? Everyone was in the same situation, they could at least try to get along. Then the world turned upside down. No good to try to stop it. Clutching the claws, Allen let himself fall. The knives would have to wait a bit.
It was dark. Allen looked around. Immediately he was inside one of the fey zeppelins. Everyone was there. Alice, Eugene, Turk, Kodai and Gridley.
“Wake up sleepy.”
It was his sister, Alice. Like him, she was carrying a heavy zweihander. Her red hair covered the hilt of the massive sword.
“You were out like a light.”
Was it a dream? The castle? The whole adventure? Too bad if it was.
“How’s the new sword?” asked Eugene.
“Good.” Stretching Allen continued. “What are we doing?”
“Listen next time. We are to help suppress an Elemental nest that was found.” said Kodai.
Gridley was playing with one of his many knives in the background. How many he had in that armor was still a mystery. Just like his cold spirit. Turk prepared his massive longbow. He was bigger than Ahab if the two fey were the size of humans.
“One minute!” yelled the pilot.
“All right. Let’s have some fun” said Allen.
Instantly, the zeppelin burst into flames. But Allen felt no heat. What was happening? Then he realized he could not move. Heaving on the unseen bonds, Allen looked around. It was a battle now. His friends were fighting. And loosing. To the left, Turk was out of arrows and was swinging his mace at swarms of Elementals. One with a lance was behind him.
Turk was struck in the back. In seconds, he was gone under a pile of monsters. Fighting the bonds, Allen continued to look around. Kodai was already dead. Both his katanas lay broken beside him. He saw Eugene just in time to watch him fall to a bowman.
This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t.
Alice was surrounded by lancers. They were rushing her all at once from the ground and the air.
She was struck by all of them at once. Bellowing, Allen covered his eyes. This was not real. Looking up slowly, cringing at what he might see, Allen saw Gridley. He too was dead. All his knives were scattered before the kneeling body. From behind him came a dark figure. It was not living.
“Inherit me.” It called.
Allen recoiled from it. Allen knew he could not. He had lost everything. He was so strong but could not save any of his friends.
“No.” cried Allen.
“Inherit me. Hate them. Kill them.”
The thing leapt at him. It mean to take him by force. Even so, Allen didn’t flee. He had not the will to escape now that he had failed everyone. With that his sword broke and fell to the ground. He couldn’t fight anymore.
Allen woke. He was still in the castle. Curse it and it’s tricks. But. Would he be able to continue living if such a thing happened? Or would Gridley’s cold nature become his?
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said AmenSeptember 24, 2020 at 7:55 pm #119922
Erin opened her eyes to a furry muzzle.
“Sander, is that you?” She mumbled.
The creature cocked its head and Erin looked closer at it.
“A fox? Nice try, castle! I’m not afraid of foxes!” She sat up and examined it. It looked intelligent, and fuzzy.
Erin smiled tenderly at it and reach out to rub its ears.
Ten million firefliesSeptember 24, 2020 at 8:02 pm #119923Cathy@this-is-not-an-alien
AHHHH YOUR CHARACTER HAS PTSD!!! That’s awesome! (Not for Enunwen of course:) The main character of my WIP has C-PTSD and I have researched it so much! It’ll be awesome to compare notes! Did I mention I can’t wait to meet your character?!
I will…see myself out now(:
She grinned at him and put his compass in her pocket!
Then she hooked her arm in his!! If he hadn’t known what to do before, now someone might as well have just erased his brain. What’s going on? Is she going to kill him? Can’t overanalyze fast enough-!
“Come on!” Erin laughed, jostling him in the direction she wanted to go. Suddenly the world sloshed into darkness. Another dizzying black fog before another scene materialized. Lord Castle indeed. More like Lord Teleporting Maniac. A hazy few minutes and he was…home. Not the broken-down apartment they found a while back but home. It had been years since he’d seen this place ever since he and his brother left. Was it all a dream? That didn’t make sense.
Ehud checked his pocket. No tracking beacon from Erin. Just the dented compass that couldn’t possibly really be here.
It was spinning wildly.
[Erin still has the compass I just needed to borrow it for a couple seconds:)]
Ok, worst fear…right…
this may take a while…
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underageSeptember 24, 2020 at 8:12 pm #119924
This is going to be FUN.😆
The human opened her eyes and Brin tensed,
Is she dangerous? No, she is smiling, she’s friendly. Good. Wait … What is she…?
The human reached out and Brin was about to snap at it’s fingers when it started rubbing her ears. Brin sat in shocked silence, the action was friendly and gentle. But at the same time, felt degrading.
This is odd. she thought. “What are you doing?” Brin asked , her tone was icy.September 25, 2020 at 8:43 am #119942
Erin jerked her hand back as if it had been stabbed. She’d met very few animals who could speak and it was always a shock when they did.
“I…I thought you might like it.” Reasoned Erin. She felt like she was starting to have fun again.
She was completely used to having Sander’s wolf-likeness around, but he stood upright like a human and acted like a human.
This fox seemed very foxy. Yet it could talk. Was it part of the castle or not?
Ten million fireflies
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