Character Castle 2.0
September 25, 2020 at 2:53 pm #119948
“I…I thought you might like it.” The human replied.
Like it? Ok, yes it had felt kind of nice, but from where Brin came from no one asked ‘hey, can you rub my ears’ or ‘here, let me rub your ears for you’
humans are weird
Brin fought the urge to start rubbing the humans ears and show her how it felt. Instead she gave the human a look that said ‘your crazy’.
“Do you know where I am?” She asked. “Where is the forest?”
it has all been so confusing, the tunnel, jungle, and swirling colors. She didn’t know where she was, who she was with, and her leg was still very stiff and ached so that she limped when she walked. She was starving, but thankfully she was not thirsty. She felt exposed and confused.
Where am I? I can only hear wind and the human next to me, I can only smell stone, blood, and the human next to me. The human, who is she? She seems friendly, which is a great relief. But, … Where am I?
her thoughts always returned to the one question, ‘where am I?’ And she did not know. Her only chance for and answer was from the human.
p.s. It just occurred to me that I might have been supposed to use a character from another one of my stories, and not make one up just for the castle. Is that what I was supposed to do?September 26, 2020 at 1:52 pm #119973Audra E. S.@backwardslivewriter
@jasmine Yes, I think so..
Methinks I should throw Wen and Eltar off a dragon and onto the roof. Sound good? Okie, let’s go!
Wen’s PoV(It will be her most of the time, unless she and Eltar get split up)
Wen leaned back against the back of her seat in the dual saddle and stared up at the countless stars.
They’re only countless if you don’t use magic, Rubia pointed out through their link.
She laughed at her young dragon. But where’s the fun in that?
“What’s so funny?” Eltar asked calmly.
“I was thinking about the stars, and Rubia said they’re only countless if I don’t use magic. Where’s the fun in using magic for every hard task?”
Eltar hummed thoughtfully. “But what about using it for the impossible tasks?”
“Still not as much fun as trying manually.”
Eltar snorted. “True.”
Rubia huffed. You two are ridiculous.
The world around them lurched as a wave of magic rippled over them.
Wen was falling through the air, Eltar nearby.
“Rubia!” Eltar screamed angrily.
Wen couldn’t even faintly feel Rubia’s presence. Or Enunwe’s. “I think we warped somehow! I can’t sense her or We!” she called, spreading out into the position her brother had drilled her on after Rubia’s hatching, slowing her fall. She gazed down. They were heading for a roof on a large, sprawling castle, where a person was, next to an orange spot. Wen reached out and pulled the air into a cushion for their landing, steadying Eltar at the same time. (oh, yeah, she has telekinesis, power over the elements, teleportation, and telepathy #OverPowered)
She landed smoothly, rolling onto her feet and bowing to the woman and fox that had jumped up at noticing her. “Greetings. I am Enunwen of Avarya. Would you happen to know where we are?” she asked the woman calmly as Eltar sprawled on her air cushion.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-DumbledoreSeptember 26, 2020 at 2:53 pm #119976Audra E. S.@backwardslivewriter
Oh, I’ll be gone from half of today to Monday, guys.. Going to my great-grandfather’s funeral in Oklahoma. Sorry.. *Apparates away*
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-DumbledoreSeptember 26, 2020 at 3:57 pm #119977
“Greetings. I am Enunwen of Avarya. Would you happen to know where we are?” Asked the girl who had just fallen out of the sky.
Brin opened and shut her mouth a few times, no sound came out. That’s … that’s what I was asking … Her. ” she finally managed to say, pointing her snout at the woman beside her. She suddenly felt defensive, backed away a few steps, and tripped, landing on her backside.
two more humans fell from the SKY?! What is happening? Who are they? Are they enemies? How did they survive that fall?
Questions whirled In side Brin’s head, the most common one was; ‘where am I?’. She got to her feet, her leg ached, her ears lay back against her head, and she readied her self for whatever crazy thing came next.September 26, 2020 at 4:43 pm #119980
Oh, I was wondering if I could continue To use Brin, even though she wasn’t from another story. I understand if yall want me to use a character from another story.September 26, 2020 at 8:23 pm #120006
I’m so sorry about your great-grandfather, that’s awful.
I love how you say Brin wants to pet a human to see how they like it cos our dog does that to me:). It’s also scientific rumor that dogs view us the same way we view them and cats think we’re their kittens and horses sense and act out their handler’s emotions.
Ehud’s worst fear…
I just wanna say I am so sorry, he should have a simpler fear I know…
At five o’clock, Lucy will walk out her door into Temporal. There will be a trip trop of her heels on the steps and the town will open up. Under her arm will be a suitcase of those items she sells. She will hold hands with people who have forgotten what’s going on, a now-common consequence of life. And she will sell the tablets in her suitcase to every customer who asks. There will be only one law in Temporal: never ask why.
Today Lucy will guide a strange newcomer through Temporal.
It is an unfamiliar sort of restlessness. A not unpleasant unrealness. An odd type of shimmering gauze over everything.
Ehud stares at the compass in his hand before it disappears again like a shifting dream. Only then is there a knock on the door. The room is empty. Furniture he remembers from another life is unrecognizably tidy. And another knock on the door.
As the creak of the door lets in a peal of sunlight, he finds himself in front of a girl with kaleidoscope eyes. With a serene smile she touches the edge of her suitcase.
“Hello, you must be new here. I’m a medically certified saleswoman, Lucy-” She extends her hand to him at her self-introduction and he shakes automatically.
“Um, Ehud. Where…what’s going on?” For some reason he can’t hold eye-contact with her shifting mascara eyes. Her heels pass by him inside before he knows it’s happened and she sets the suitcase on the hover-table polished to a vague reflection of her hands.
“I know everyone in town, how long have you been here?” Her voice is soothingly soft and she crosses her legs as she sits beside the table with a motherly smile. Something like his lost childhood digs into his chest. It would be nice to have someone to pour all his troubles to if they’d understand or just care.
“It’s lovely outside. Everything is immaculately cared for, don’t you think?”
“Uh sure, uh…”
“Would you like to know what I have to sell?” She strokes the suitcase gently.
At five-twenty two people will leave the flat after Lucy tries to sell her product to a now-frightened teen. Clicking heels and streets barring houses filling aimless people. Children in garden-homes and schools where adult will sometimes nurture for the sake of that feeling of being the object of gratitude. Adults will be between the ages nineteen and fifty-nine before they will usually wish to leave. And there are means to bring that about.
This will be how orientation goes: every newcomer will be investigated by Lucy to see if they will compliment the harmony of the town.
The ground will feel like it’s floating and stirring but will never seem to move. Her companion will remain edgy for some time. This one will not stop turning around to look at something apparently new. He will seem to be looking for something that he can’t put his finger on. In the meantime Lucy will observe his possible compatibility with Temporal.
The town will be both familiar and unfamiliar and Ehud will appear to be looking for someone. People will be walking past or chatting on the streets. Constant activity.
“This town is meant to be happy. There’s a system for happiness in society. Doesn’t it look lovely?” She’ll say but her companion’s mind will be somewhere else.
“Can you please take me home?” He’ll not look at her for more than a second and she’ll almost feel how tense he is. Lucy laughs lightly.
“I don’t know how you can say that, this is the only place that still exists. Isn’t this your home?”
“It looks like it,” He’ll murmur distantly “but it’s not…it’s not…–Rosy! You’re alive I was so scared-!” He’ll suddenly catapult into a young lady who’ll tense at the unexpected breach of social norms while one of her two friends will titter at the scene. “I missed you so much! I just about died and I didn’t know if they’d try an’ kill you too! And then I sorta broke into a top secret base and then I fell into a weird castle and I almost got ate by a dinosaur and then I fell here and you’re alive!”
She will reflectively push him back at arm’s length and look him over. Still delighted, Ehud will grin only semi-apologetically.
“You know this guy?” One of her friends will giggle. She’ll shrug dismissively.
“Seen him a couple times. You were talking about style?” She’ll resume conversation with her friends. Lucy will watch Ehud’s bewildered expression as Rosario will give him a stern don’t-embarrass-me look. Slowly, all that buoyant energy that bubbles out of him will crumple so Lucy will slid into a polite rescue because that will be her job.
“It was pleasant bumping into you, Miss Cruz. I hope you have a lovely day.”
“Whatever.” She’ll nod curtly and wait expectantly to see if they’ll move on or if she needs to walk away. Lucy will touch Ehud’s shoulder and lead him away while Rosario will pretend nothing unordinary happened.
“Goodbye, Miss Cruz.”
“Yeah, cool, adios.”
Before they move, the girl beside Rosario will laugh slyly and snatch Ehud’s hand to write her number on his wrist. She’ll giggle and slip behind her other two friends again before Ehud can react. Lucy will take over and guide him away. Click clack of heels and a scrip scrap of reluctant footsteps and the girls will keep talking as they leave.
“Hey, he’s kinda cute ya’know”
“You should be embarrassed to exist.” Rosario will put in mildly and her other friend will add her own advice.
“He’s probably escaped an insane asylum or some homeless shelter, did you hear the way he was talking?”
“Well yeah, but wouldn’t it be exciting to have a crazy boyfriend? I don’t think he’s violent anyway,”
Lucy will file the girl’s interest away for later. At the moment Ehud will appear completely lost, breathing in little gasps as he blinks hard for a good long minute. By five-forty he’ll still not say a word although Lucy will see his shoulders shake and his breath unsteady but he’ll refuse to cry. She’ll tap her briefcase and continue walking.
In a small choked voice Ehud will start thinking outloud as if half-hoping she’ll supply and answer “Why-?”
“Things happen, sweety, that’s how life goes. I’m surprised you’re so upset. She just didn’t want to talk to you at that moment. What’s so wrong about that?” Only one law in Temporal; never ask why. Ehud will peek up at her with a shattered look and she’ll hear the gears turning in his head but she can’t tell what he’s saying. So she’ll try to make him understand.
“This is a very happy community here. We do everything to ensue our members are well-cared for. But you do understand that life is a zero-sum game? If you gain something someone else loses it. Equality is the key to harmony, so you shouldn’t expect any special attention.”
She’ll smile sweetly and motion to the suitcase.
“Whenever you want to try it I always give the first sample free.”
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underageSeptember 26, 2020 at 8:33 pm #120007
Oh, I was wondering if I could continue To use Brin, even though she wasn’t from another story. I understand if yall want me to use a character from another story.
Oh, well actually my character isn’t even from a novel he’s from a comic series I’m trying to write. So it’s cool with me:)
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underageSeptember 26, 2020 at 8:35 pm #120008
trying to write with my brother. He’s great at actually structuring a plot!
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underageSeptember 27, 2020 at 4:09 pm #120009
Wow! I love your mom’s friend’s quote! It is so true!
And I get the intensness of a game; I don’t watch football, but I understand the feeling of just hoping the one your rooting for will win.
And I shall post the first part of Ahab’s fear right now…. 😉
BTW, I found Colma’s fear so engaging! You made it so that it seemed I was following along behind her and feeling what she did and all! It was really good 😀
I learn new things every day too! In fact, we all do, lol I was constantly asking questions when I got on this site, and thankfully I’ve always gotten answers 😉
And yeah, you can still use Brin! I love that little fox, and y’all’s part about the ear-scratching, that is just SO funny….. 😛
Allen’s post was so sad! I am really interested in that black shapy-thing. If I may ask, what is it?
Ah! You have begun! I love how Enunwen, immediately after landing on the roof, introduced herself, lol I don’t know if anyone else found that funny, but I did. I’m easily amused 😛 And I’m so sorry about your great-grandfather! That is so sad! I wish I knew what more to say, but peace be with you.
I am so intrigued by Ehud’s situation! What is this Temporal place? And I still can’t help but feel sorry for him, lol It is so cool to read glimpses of y’all’s stories!
Ok, sorry ‘bout being gone for so long! Anyhow, I just had something to say to all of you so I just had to say it 😛 I am going to post part of Ahab’s fear part, but it is really dark and I need to go un-depress myself right now. So if I set a sorrowful tone for your day, that’s all my fault 😛
I know you got mountains to climb,
But always stay humble and kind -- Tim McGrawSeptember 27, 2020 at 4:14 pm #120010
The whirling colors swirled in Ahab’s mind so long and fast that it took him a moment to realize he was standing on solid ground. And the ground looked unbelievably familiar. He was in his office, his den, his man-cave. Ahab’s first instinct was to bend down and kiss the carpet, but then reality set in. The castle couldn’t have so easily brought him back home. Why would it do that, with so little warning? Sure, a lot had happened without warning, but it didn’t seem right. Something in his gut said it wasn’t. He reached up to touch his shoulder, and there was no blood. The guard was in perfect condition and his arm was functioning like new. No, this was not right.
The hairs on the back of his neck tingled, and he slowly turned around, seeing what he had half-expected to see. There was no door leading out of his room. Come to think of it, there was only one door out of the original four — the one that led to his bedroom.
I walked slowly toward the door, an overwhelming sense of dread creeping up on me, starting at my feet and seeping into my mind, filling it with unimaginable horrors. My clammy hand trembled as I put it on the cold and shiny knob. I forced my brain to stay open even as I opened the door.
There was the large dark-wood dresser with the mirror and the fresh bouquet of flowers. There were the deep paintings on the walls of Rondona’s flowered fields; the lush, richly colored and patterned rug under my booted feet; and the four-poster king-sized bed with the thick comforter. And on the far side of the room, the widow lounge with the plush pillows. The brilliantly clear glass looked out on the castle courtyard, the city of Auboron, and the fields beyond rimmed by the mountains.
And on that window seat lay the most beautiful woman in the world.
And she was dead.
Blood pooled on the floor, still seeping through her snowy-white gown. My muscles quiver and my mouth opens and closes without saying a thing. My mind is blank and only after a moment do I realize reality. I walk over to her body, and stare into her face. It is one of horror and fear. I tremble as I brush aside her dark hair from her face and see the empty eyes.
But, vaguely, I know what I must do. I kneel in the pool of blood. I pick up her limp, white hand, and kiss it. “You will be revenged, my love. Your blood will be avenged.” Then I stand and take out my sword and smear it in the blood till the blade drips and gleams crimson red in the waning light from the window as even the sun seems to mock me. I take several deep breaths and fight the rising in my throat as the reality sinks in that she’s gone. Somewhere in the back of my mind, however, something says it is just a game, a trick of the castle. But my body is fooled and I am filled with rage as I turn towards the door and sigh as I reverently shut it. That room is sacred. That body is sacred. And the one who killed her is cursed.
There are still no other doors in the den, and the one I just came through disappears. But I know what I must do.
“SAULUS! YOU. WILL. PAY!!”
I am ready and even if he kills me, my blood is linked to Jezebel’s and its what I must do. I do not bother to think of how he could enter the room because of the lack of entrances. I just know he will. He will come because he knows that he must pay.
And he does.
Suddenly, Saulus is standing in front of the fireplace, he black beard coursing down his chest and covering the plated silver armor. His helm of horns casts erie shadows on the walls, and his black eyes narrow as he sees me. Saulus is six inches taller and I don’t know how much wider, but he’s goin’ down. He’s gonna pay. He’s gonna die DIE. The torches flicker and the candles seem to dim. My face turns red and I start to sweat — not of fear, but of anger. Saulus’s voice is a rumble as I hear his sword scrape out of its sheath.
“Ahab. You’re a fool’s father.”
“You are the fool.”
I lunge forward and he parries my blow. We both plant our feet as our blades clash and ring in my ears. I lose ground first and duck as the sword whistles and slices the air above my head; then Saulus whirls around and blocks as I dive for his side. I grip the hilt in both hands and the steel clashes on steel with the ringing of a heavy hammer on a symbol. And I don’t even know it but the tears are pouring down my face and running down my neck.
She’s gone, and it’s all my fault. I wasn’t there.
I scream a scream of pain and anger and confusion: and when Saulus falters I plunge my blood-stained-blade into his stomach. His eyes widen as I draw my sword back and I watch a dark patch start to grow in his armor. My breaths come short and labored. Saulus’s don’t come at all. But even as I watch him stumble backwards, he lunges forward again before I can react. His hand grasps me by my neck and he has pushed me up against the fireplace, putting his entire weight upon me. At least I can take comfort in the fact that he knows he can’t take his chances with me. But not for long.
He should have been dead. He should have collapsed to the floor. But instead, he laughs. And I know it was a trick. The castle kept him alive. The tears streaming down my face are of anger and hatred: all my malice was fired at the man who killed my last give at compassion. The last time I let myself be fooled by love. The last person I could confide in and comfort and cherish.
I had my hands on his arms and was straining to move. My throat was closing and I was gasping for air. His face was in mine and I could see the madness wheeling in his eyes and smell the foul breath. I clenched my teeth as he put on more pressure and although I thought I had no more tears left they were squeezed out as I lifted my chin under the strain, gulping for any breath at all. My arms dropped to my side and I fumbled about in my belt for the dagger. That dagger Jezebel gave me on our last anniversary. The one with the silver hilt and the dark blue gemstones.
Every movement took my every effort. I was slowing down, down, down. I gripped the dagger and with a last burst of energy buried it into Saulus’s side. I heard him gasp and I felt warm blood on my hand, but his grip only tightened as he reached for his sword.
I was near oblivion when I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye. It spoke in a low and dangerous voice.
“Saulus. Let him be.”
The last I knew was of the foul and sour liqued being forced down my throat from a golden, shining goblet.
I know you got mountains to climb,
But always stay humble and kind -- Tim McGrawSeptember 27, 2020 at 4:29 pm #120011Rusted Knight@rusted-knight
The black thing you talk of is merely artistic license. In my story, Gridley is the “old man”, the veteran of the squad. His family and girlfriend’s family were nomadic fighters, local legends and heroes. They died in an ambush with Gridley being the sole survivor. After that, Gridley threw away all emotion, recovered from his injuries and honed his knife and magic skills while gaining as much knowledge as he could. Allen’s fear is becoming a heartless killing machine, becoming one who is dead inside.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 3 days ago by Rusted Knight.
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said AmenSeptember 27, 2020 at 5:01 pm #120015
Ah, thank you! Gridley sounds like a fantastic and engaging character! And Allen’s fear is a very good one; lit. one that is good to have so you don’t do/become that.
I know you got mountains to climb,
But always stay humble and kind -- Tim McGrawSeptember 28, 2020 at 3:03 pm #120065September 28, 2020 at 5:33 pm #120075Mischievous Thwapling@mischievous-thwapling
Awesome post! I already really like your characters 🙂
And I’m so sorry about your great grandfather. I also had a great grandparent die recently.
And did anyone else get the “*Apparates away*” reference? No, just me?
Yes, football can be very intense 😛 I love it. Especially since my favorite team won the Super Bowl last year… *Cheers for Patrick Mahomes*
Thank you!!! (About my post) Your’s was the same way! It was really fun to write, although kinda sad at the same time ’cause I know what happens in the second part of it, kinda like your’s with Ahab. (And yes, you did depress me for the whole day…. Poor Ahab. But I get what you mean. I had to re-write Colma’s worst fear (the second part) ’cause it turned out too long and kinda dark and heavy. But I was kinda bummed to cut that stuff out ’cause it really connected to her worst fear. But, alas, it is what it is. ;P )
But I really enjoyed your post (even though ’twas quite sad). The way you wrote it conveyed everything with such feeling, I felt as if I really was Ahab, or in his head at least. It was great (though ’twas heartbreaking)! I really loved it (though ’twas bursting with sorrow)! It was magnificent (though it sang with mournfulness)! Sorry, no idea what that was. I got wrapped up in saying how great it was while saying how it “twas so sad”. 😛
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by Mischievous Thwapling.
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader ~RFSeptember 28, 2020 at 8:00 pm #120080
Ah, excellent question; I have no idea :P…well, I sorta do but it’s gonna sound really weird.
Ok, so in dictionaries “temporal” is (an adjective but I’m using it as a noun) “1. Related to worldly as opposed to spiritual affairs; secular. 2. Of or relating to time.”
Basically Ehud is wondering if there’s a point to his moral compass. If you start with the premise that there is no God then you can only reach one conclusion; morality is subjective. Following this train of thought all the consequences of no right or wrong but a need for order requires a lot of “psychology” to “fix” the chaos. As a result of no virtue or good to seek after people will naturally put happiness in the center of their entire thought-process meaning there’s no room for anything but selfishness since everything then reduces to a “zero-sum game”.
Temporal is what Ehud’s world would look like if everyone acted on atheism. Well…actually not cos that would be communism so it would look more like…well anyway, it’s super simplified to just focus on what’ll really affect Ehud. Everything goes on like normal but if everything is about filling self there’s no capability for any love or any real connection with people, instead it’s a quid pro quo situation.
As for the second definition, time is going to be a little quirky in this scenario because he is a “newcomer” but it’s also utopia-distopia version of his world and if he didn’t exist in it the whole thing would be affected and I only want to focus on the one variable of morality being irrelevant. Lucy is going to be the only person who realizes he’s a newcomer because she’ll be the one with a “full deck” only on the temporal level.
Additionally, Lucy has kaleidoscope eyes because LSD is supposed to be the closest modern thing to a euphoria sort of drug. Kaleidoscope colors is one of the most recognized affect of the drug and Ehud’s dad was a drug addict so it’ll strike a nerve with him. LSD causes constant restlessness which is a also very common thing you notice in people who have no interest in morality. The sense of real unrealness and shinny scenery is part of the augmented sensory response to LSD as well as depersonalization, high blood pressure and heart rate etc. LSD users frequently react to a bad “trip” suicidally or homicidally. All of the above is also similar to symptoms you can find in a nation with decadent morality. (Oh, also, never touch pills you don’t know about cos LSD pills absorb into skin even if you don’t swallow them along with a buncha other drugs and I watch way too many murder mysteries:)
The rule “never ask why” is important because once you follow that train of thought subjective morality becomes no morality. As long as people don’t think about it it’s a very powerful philosophy as you can see in present America. But once you follow the train of thought people need purpose so much and when there’s no purpose to life you become either suicidal or homicidal or both.
So, to sum up, I guess Ehud’s worst fear is atheism…
Huh…that doesn’t sound quite as dumb as I thought it would…(on the other hand I think I’ve confused myself now)
Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage
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