Character Castle 2.0
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September 21, 2020 at 1:34 pm #119801
And yeah! Your idea sounds great! Once on the roof, they could all have to figure out how to get down, lol, and once they do, they shall be in the gardens surrounding the castle. I don’t think they were able to go outside, but then it could start raining and there was no shelter where they could all fit so they just went back inside or something…. *shrugs*
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.September 21, 2020 at 1:56 pm #119803So I decided to try writing in first person, ya know, just to try getting more into the character. I hope y’all don’t mind!
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As I strapped the bandage around my arm, I was amazed that the dinosaur was so strong he had ripped through my shoulder guard and completely shredded it — and I didn’t buy cheaply when it came to quality armor. I tied a tight knot in the red cloth from my cape and then bit my lip when a hot pain shot through my veins. Ha. It was nothing, nothing at all. I have had worse. I am fine.
I had lost a lot of blood, however, and I needed to be careful. Standing up too quickly could result in a faint or severe dizziness.
Even so, when I got to my feet, my head swam, churning like the Silver Sea; my legs started to collapse beneath my weight. Any other time I would’ve said it was all muscle and brains. But not now. I staggered over to a tree and leaned my side against it, then hissed because it was my wounded side. I closed my eyes, squinting them tightly shut as I heard and felt my heart pounding in my ears. It seemed to me like it was beating out the moments till my death. I would die, assuredly, one way or another. I was vulnerable. With this much precious blood lost, I wouldn’t be able to think — or move as well, for that matter. And if I didn’t get food — namely liver or dark, leafy green vegetables and such — I wouldn’t be well off. And water was important. Clean, mineral filled spring water.
Suddenly, I nearly fell. I hadn’t had water or food for hours, and as far as I knew, days. Bad, very very bad. But I wasn’t hungry, and I wasn’t thirsty. Some part of my brain suggested the dangerous magic of the castle, but all I knew was that somehow food and drink could be the last thing on my mind. I needed to focus on getting out and getting my wound cleaned. And staying alive. Alive.
“Even if I wander this God-forsaken hunk of stone for the rest of my life; even if I never get back to Rondona, even if I never see Jezebel or get a proper meal again.…. so long as I don’t die.”
A shudder coursed through my body and I gripped the tree tighter. No. No. No. Death was too much. I couldn’t dwell on that. I had to think of something else. Just staying alive. Focus on what is in your favor, and go against what is not.
At least my sword arm was unhurt. And if I got the proper nutrients, I’d be steadier. But if I stayed here, I’d most surely die. I took a deep breath and ground my teeth. I would get out of here. I would get out of the green house and then get out of the castle: I would get back to Jezebel and the Palace and my duty. I took a weary step, and then another. I focused on that, and my head cleared. I clenched my fists. Ah, I was still here. It would take much more to crush me. I took several deep breaths and cracked my neck — a habit I had when I needed to relax or look even tougher. Yeah. I was not a child or even a man. I was a warrior. I had been trained in the very halls of King Adrian; I had risen to the top of my class; I had gone up in rank after rank. And if I got back to Rondona, I would continue to climb even higher until….
Resolve. A purpose. Fate. I had a life yet to fill. I decided to continue down the overgrown path, and picked up my wayward staff. It would probably come in handy for more than picking out booby-traps. I was about to turn when I sensed a presence — it was Calixta. That girl. I could hear the limping steps.
I whipped around and saw her emerge from the bushes. She looked at me with wide eyes, and after what seemed a seconds thought, warily crept toward me. Just a couple feet away she looked up at me with bright blue eyes. She wore a gruff face and had a rough tone as she said, “Can you walk?” I didn’t answer. I was startled. I suppose I hadn’t wondered where she had got to; she must have run away when the raptor appeared. Didn’t really blame her, what could she have done anyway? Even a man as powerful as I was barely escaped with a life to claim. But I narrowed my eyes. She could have — yet again — put that ax through my back from the safety of those bushes — but why didn’t she?
“Can you?”
Her voice was slightly softer, and I saw what might have been shame and worry in her melting-ice eyes. I forced myself to grin and stepped back-wards, then to the side. She nodded, then glanced toward the brushes with a bit of a concerned or agitated expression on her face.
I looked down at Calixta, and couldn’t help but to think that she was a bit like I was — when I was a kid. Yeah. Tough, willing to hold ‘er own, and with a hurting heart. But I knew where compassion got you, and I had warded it off. I had steeled my heart to the pain of others and kept myself from loving too deep. I could see she was not yet there. She would feel heart-ache someday, and it would break her as it did so many others. But I wouldn’t let myself be broken, and tried to quiet my burning conscience to turn to other matters….
I didn’t feel like I had to put on a show to her and Ehud and the fairy to prove I was steady and still strong; they could tell just by instinct it was not a good idea to try anything rash. But if Erin came around, I would have to make her see that she was to mind her own business. Still, I was not about to turn my back on Calixta and anybody with her — I suspected there was someone following her. But she might try to secretly creep after me, and if I had her out in the open things might fare better.
“I am getting out of here, but you can follow if you may. Just don’t try any tricks, alright?”
I made sure to not give her any condescending looks. I just didn’t want to irritate her so she would be more tolerating and less likely to throw something. Even if she didn’t agree to come with me, she might still try to follow. But I hoped she would just go away, to stop reminding me of what once was.
I turned around, listening for any sounds of movement from her, when suddenly the world around me started to whirl in fantastic colors and I began to get dizzy. “Great___!” I shouted. Why oh why did this keep happening?….
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So, I was supposing when the whirling died down they’d be facing their fear, whatever it was 😉 I think I know what I’m doing for Ahab, but I’ll have to think on it….
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.September 21, 2020 at 1:56 pm #119804Sheesh, that was really long…..
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.September 21, 2020 at 4:06 pm #119806This is fun, I love the fact that you can just create a whole new scene whenever you want. you can just let your imagination go.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I read over my last post and was thinking how it is funny how (at least for me) every time you read a post with typos you just read over them, but when you read your own post you notice every single typo and wish you where able to go back as fix them. This website is different than my last one, I’m still learning how to use it.😛</p>
Brin stumbled away from the tunnel and tripped. Her legs where wobbly and her head swam. She lay there for a moment, letting herself think.
I’m out. Out of the tunnel and In open air. there is trees underbrush everywhere. I’m in the middle of a path of some sort. I hear something … no … more than one large thing moving around. But they are far away, I don’t need to worry. I smell damp earth, leaves, some sort of reptile, and blood. My blood. My head hurts, I can’t move my back left leg, I’m thitsty, and I’m stiff and sore all over. But I’m alive. That’s all I need to make it to the next day.
She stood up slowly taking a deep breath as she went. “I can do this.” She told herself. ” I can do this, I’m fine. Get up. ” and so she slowly made her way down the path.
In a minute, she came across a small brook. It was bubbling merrily along, cold and clear. Brin crouched down and drank, long and deep. After she had drank her fill she turned and examined her leg. A long cut ran across it, dried blood stained the fur around it, and it was covered in dirt from the tunnel. But it was not deep and would heal fairly quickly. She cleaned it with her tongue, and took another drink. Then swirling colors filled vision.
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
September 22, 2020 at 10:03 am #119824Waiting for @this-is-not-an-alien to reply…
One day you'll be someone's favorite author.
September 22, 2020 at 8:09 pm #119832@millennium
heehee, sorry*sheepish grin*“I’m not a heartless killing machine, Ehud!” She took a step back from whatever she was saying and tried to continue. “I’m just a human who’s lost so much that all I’ve gained hasn’t made up for my losses…”
Oh she’s still upset! Wait…what? Why was she telling him this? He had this feeling he was missing something and this was scary. Did he do something wrong? What was her point?
“My point is…all I want to do is go home.” Erin was lying, in a way. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted, this time Ehud didn’t doubt his instincts but he couldn’t grasp what. She wasn’t quite homesick for home, at least not however it was now for her. Straightening, she locked eyes with Ehud. That was probably something that made an impression on most people but he was still trying to process.
“I’ll help you get home, if you help me get home.” Why was she singling him out? A lot of people did try to use him before because he is gullible and does want to believe the best in everybody and he was expendable. But as far as Ehud knew he didn’t have anything that anyone could–She was staring at him in a sort of…
‘I’m just a human who’s lost so much that all I’ve gained hasn’t made up for my losses…’ His dad said things like that so often. He lied and lied and he kept coming back promising to be better. When Ehud was really little he used to steal his dad’s wallet whenever he was anxious. That meant it’d take a couple days for his dad to find the money to buy his drugs all over again. And he’d always promise he’d come clean. Every. Single. Time. Eventually, Ehud didn’t feel safe until he stole something.
Ehud stared at his shoes for a long moment and quietly dropped his bag on the ground.
“I don’t have…any way to help you get home and I…just wanna find my friends again…” Without thinking, he fumbled through his pants’ pocket until he pulled out a compass.
“Thousands and thousands of years ago people used to use these thingamabobs to figure out where they were going–this’d probably be worth a lot if it wasn’t a cheap copy.” His dad had bought it for him at a historical reenactment. Ehud didn’t think she’d be interested in that though, he wasn’t sure why he was telling her this but she was hitting rock bottom and he didn’t want to just watch helplessly.
“Anyhow, no matter where ya put it or anything, it always points North cos it’s gotta magnet in the center. You can dent it and smash it but as long as it’s got it’s center’s working good it’s not broken.” He held it up for her to see. It wasn’t in good condition and it wouldn’t sell for much anywhere although it might sell for enough if there was some copper on it. “See you can’t keep your center until you know what it is. But once you start pointing that way you’re not really broken anymore…I guess, um…I mean…here!”
Ehud grabbed her hand and put the compass in it. Eye contact. Two fingers slip into a pocket. It would be so easy, Ehud was an expert thief by now. It was actually one of the only things he was good at. He bit his lip and examined the ground. The last thing he wanted right now was to see her expression. He’d probably made a fool out of himself.
“Hey, where’s Calixta and Ahab and…” He’d forgotten the fairy’s name, he could kick himself. “Maybe we should look for them–I think she went that way!”
He took her arm without thinking to turn her in the direction he meant, suddenly realized he did that, and released her with a sheepish grin. At the same time he slipped something out of her pocket while she gave him a fairly accusing look. A cardinal error would be to glance at his hand right afterward, it’s how many thieves were caught.
“Why do you think this castle thingy got us here anyway? I wonder how we get out…I’m hungry, how long have we been here? Are you hungry? How do you cook an egg?”
She was still holding the compass. For a second he opened his mouth to ask for it back but he didn’t. He’d already stolen something from her he needed to sneak it back into her pocket. The compass was the only thing he still had that his father gave him but he felt too guilty to ask for it. Oh this was the worst person he could have stolen from aside from possibly Ahab. How could he put it back before she noticed?To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
September 22, 2020 at 8:10 pm #119833@millennium
Hey cool! I like your idea! Ehud has a rather philosophical worst fear so it should be interesting trying to write that into an actually scary format:)To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
September 22, 2020 at 8:39 pm #119834@wingiby-iggiby
I love your 1st Person narrative!! It really seeps with Ahab’s character and has a great tone!To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
September 23, 2020 at 2:06 pm #119845Oh no! All I meant was that I was sorry it sounded like I was ignoring you, ’cause I didn’t mean to 😛 I think Erin’s perfect where she is. 😉
Oh no, that’s not too dark at all, writing is therapeutic for me too. Ehud’s actually my happiest, least traumatized character yet. Fun fact; expressive writing can be used to heal sometimes even physical pains:)
Thanks! Wow, really? I did’t know that. That super cool!
That’s a really creative idea. And Colma will love that; she’s a sucker for weapons.
Ah, yes. Our writing evolves a lot. I’d have to go back and look at old stories to see how mine has changed, but I know it’s gotten way better, lol….
Yes! I was thinking about the story I started (Alas! Never finished 🙁 ) with Evlarin and stuff. (I was thinking about it bc of my response to you on “Moon-men, Blue Pencils, and Backpacking Boys.”) And I thought about how it can only progress from writing the sloppy stuff, ’cause then I learn from those sloppy mistakes. I learn that saying it that way sounds bad, or whatever it is.
so I get the having to pour stuff out
Thanks 😀
I use “y’all” a lot, but actually, studying Latin, it’s a lot more accurate than saying “you” when referring to several people.
………….. I’ve been living a lie!! A LIE!! What is the world coming to??!!!
And your post was awesome! “I love you,” that is so sad!!!!! I am just going to go scream into a pillow right now….
Aw, thank you. I’ll admit, I was very sad after writing it. Her feelings became my feelings. And yes, I’m with you on the screaming into a pillow thing…
And I LOVED your post!! Seeing things directly from Ahab’s POV is really cool. It’s like what I said above, his feelings became my feelings. And this analogy is sooo cool:
melting-ice eyes.
Wow, what an image that creates. And how he was saying how she reminded him of himself as a kid… *screams into a pillow with Wingiby Iggiby*
This is fun, I love the fact that you can just create a whole new scene whenever you want. you can just let your imagination go.
YES! Totally! It’s so fun 😛
"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."
September 23, 2020 at 3:46 pm #119846I was thinking about the “worst fear “scene, and one of the things Brin is afraid of is heights and the next scene they’re on top of a castle roof. I figured that would work for one of her worst fears (and be funny\interesting. I don’t think I’m ready to Wright down her WORST fear though.
The colors swirled and faded into black.
The next thing Brin knew, she was curled up in a ball, lying on what felt like rock. Her eyes where closed, the sun warmed her, and a strong wind ruffled her fur. Her ears felt weird, she swallowed and suddenly they felt normal.
where am I? I’m in the jungle, no. There was no wind in the jungle, or was it a jungle? the sun was not as warm and the air was not as cool. I do not know where I am, but I know I am in the open. I smell, rock, wind, heat, and …
Brin froze, she was not alone.
I’ll just leave Brin here until another character is teleported.😉
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
September 23, 2020 at 3:52 pm #119847<p style=”text-align: left;”>Wingiby Iggiby; a spot has opened up on “Escape from Ackerley” if you still want to join.</p>
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
September 23, 2020 at 3:54 pm #119848<p style=”text-align: right;”>Sorry, I still don’t know how to tag people. I don’t know why that post turned out weird.</p>
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
September 23, 2020 at 4:21 pm #119850@jasmine, Ikr!! And I’m going to make it so Brin’s not alone and throw my characters into the castle, y’all! First, obviously, I need to introduce them to you and explain them.
Eltar: Seventeen year old elf prince. The antagonist of my story is his father, but Eltar is against King Elawr and the raks. He supports his cousins and is fighting alongside them as the Dragon Rangers fight to remove him from the throne of Ibia. He used to follow his father’s orders, however, and has some.. interesting experiences under his belt. He is wearing a plain tan tunic, a intricate swordbelt, plain coarse black leggings, a black broadsword on his left side, dark brown stiff boots, and has black, wavy hair that’s almost shoulder length.
Enunwen(Wen): Sixteen year old halfen(my term for someone with mixed blood in Dragon Home. There are only elves and humans in Elun. Wen is half and half). She’s one of Eltar’s two cousins, is half-blind, was tortured for ten years of her life, and may freeze up and regain a piece of her childhood memories at seemingly random times(carefully chosen by me when she interacts with people). She also has asassin training and is engaged to a former asassin. She’s wearing a stiff tan layered shirt trimmed in black, with a similar skirt and pairs of long gloves and tall stiff boots, and has choppy black hair that curls at the ends, generally covering her facial scars around her left eye.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by
Audra E. S..
Could one steal past those watchful dragons? I thought I could.
-C.S. LewisSeptember 23, 2020 at 4:34 pm #119852@jasmine, if you look under the name, there’s the username. Just type that out and you’re good.
Could one steal past those watchful dragons? I thought I could.
-C.S. LewisSeptember 23, 2020 at 4:50 pm #119855“I don’t have…any way to help you get home and I…just wanna find my friends again…” Ehud confided.
Erin wasn’t sure how to respond but then he started fumbling in his pocket and withdrew a compass,
“Thousands and thousands of years ago people used to use these thingamabobs to figure out where they were going–this’d probably be worth a lot if it wasn’t a cheap copy.” He paused. “Anyhow, no matter where ya put it or anything, it always points North cos it’s gotta magnet in the center. You can dent it and smash it but as long as it’s got it’s center’s working good it’s not broken.” He held it up for Erin to see better. “See you can’t keep your center until you know what it is. But once you start pointing that way you’re not really broken anymore…I guess, um…I mean…here!”
Then he reached for Erin’s hand and slipped the compass into her palm. Erin’s gaze dropped to it. She knew what a compass was and vaguely how it worked, but no space traveler used one because it doesn’t work in space.
She looked up again and their eyes met. A smile tugged at the corners of Erin’s lips and Ehud dropped his gaze.
“Hey, where’s Calixta and Ahab and…” She’d forgotten the fey’s name too. “Maybe we should look for them–I think she went that way!”
He then unexpectedly took her arm and steered her in the other’s direction. Erin tensed, unused to physical touch. Ehud’s arm dropped away.
“Why do you think this castle thingy got us here anyway? I wonder how we get out…I’m hungry, how long have we been here? Are you hungry? How do you cook an egg?” Ehud seemed like a scattered person, always jumping from one thought to another.
Erin ignored him and continued to look at the compass. Ehud seemed to stare longingly after it and appeared to be dying to open his mouth to ask for it. Not until he gave her tracking beacon back. How naughty of him to steal it.
Besides, if he really wanted his compass back, he’d ask. She reassured herself.
Erin tucked the compass away and linked her arm with Ehud’s again and started back off to the others without a word.
At first Ehud didn’t follow her tug and Erin laughed. She wanted to laugh, so she did. He was such an unusual person. A bit like Jackson, a bit like Dusk, a bit like…well, Ehud.
Erin grinned at him. A real grin. She was finally having fun, messing with a male’s brain. She couldn’t mess with Sander, but Jackson was rather gullible at times.
“Come on!” She tugged at his arm but suddenly her feet seemed to stop moving her forward and an unexpected gust of blew a thousand colors before her vision before wrenching her from Ehud and plunging her into utter darkness.
Erin whimpered. She wasn’t having fun anymore. The darkness seemed to eat her alive and she curled into a ball, waiting for the scene to change and take her back to Ehud. Back to anyone.
She looked up. A person, lit by whatever light happened to be at that moment they were from, running towards a little girl. He was calling to a her, his voice echoed in the surrounding darkness.
“Erin, don’t go!”
Erin’s breath shortened. Not this. Please not this.
She closed her eyes and tried to block out the scene. Why didn’t she listen then? She’d left them all to die. She should have died with them. She was so lonely know.
But Jacker was still alive. She felt it in her bones.
Silence. She carefully looked up. She saw herself, older now, charging into a building, her loyal crew behind her. Erin couldn’t see inside but shouts and gunshots run out before all fell silent. She saw herself emerge battered and alone.
Her heart lurched when she realized they had finally failed a mission. All her friends, no, family had perished. Yet she lived on.
Wait. That had never happened to her. But she shivered uncontrollably at the sight. It was her fear. She was being shown her darkest fears.
She sprung to her feet and tried to escape the darkness that trapped her. She feared a past event would happen again, she feared she would lead her crew to their deaths, she feared two other thing as well though…
Please spare me that. She begged mentally.
Mercifully, she suddenly found herself out of that horror zone and lying on her back on hard stone, the sky above. The first few stars of dusk had appeared.
Stars. She felt safe being able to see the stars. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. This was the most bizarre adventure she had ever experienced.
Okay! Erin is now on the roof.
One day you'll be someone's favorite author.
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