Beth Darlene

@beth20

I love how you ended it!!!

I might have a critique, (you don’t have to do anything about it, or, yeah, but)

Can you describe their emotions more? Their actions? (sorry) But it felt like almost a complete dialogue.

Were their stomachs roiling? Chests clenching? Breath coming in short gasps? Hands trembling? (Just an idea) 🙂

@beth20

April 25, 2020 at 4:21 pm (I just read that one. I like your edits, it was much easier to read than the first one.)   (: Very good!

Going on to chapter two…

@beth20

Wow! I would definitely buy that book. Great job making me want to know more. (:

@rusted-knight @anne_the_noob14 @beth20 Forgive me if I got any details wrong. I’m still trying to familiarize myself with all the characters. 🙂

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The book in Marlowe’s hands was readable. The kings and queens of olden days kept their peace in warring ways… Some sort of history? No, just a poem. A poem in her native dialect. Either she had s…[Read more]

@beth20 @devastate-lasting @arindown @emberynus-the-dragonslayer @eden-anderson @emma-starr @wolverinerm @chalice

Everybody!

I’ve finished the first half of chapter 1 of my story. I’ll post it as another topic and tag ya’lls in it.

Please, comment and give tips. I wanna make sure it sounds good before I get to far into the writing. (I’m sure y…[Read more]

@beth20 Marrill sounds so cool! I love characters that are like the author.☺️ They’re more authentic.

I’m curious to know what part Ricky plays in the story.

@beth20 I like The Door Within series, Wings of Fire series, and the Geronimo Stilton books. I don’t know if I could pick a favorite. I also like my book so far. It is pretty high up in my favorites. Lol

@beth20

Really cool. Are you able to give your character more backstory (not part of the castle) without giving away to much of your book?

@beth20

The Remnants Series by Lisa T. Bergren is my favorite fantasy book/series.

@beth20

Hello!

I can definitely see the improvement on this chapter in comparison to the last one! Great job!

Kinda to copy what everyone else said (LOL LOL), lovin’ the suspense!

Hey, have you posted the 3rd chapter yet. No rush, I asked that mainly because I wanna make sure I didn’t miss anything 🙂

MEL

@beth20

Thanks!

@beth20

Hey! Great Job with your story!

I only had one comment (except for the fact that it’s amazing :))  :

I feel like sometimes when you put something in parentheses, it doesn’t need to be in parentheses… I hope you know what I mean. Sometimes commas would have been better in the particular spot.

Thanks!

MEL

@eden-anderson

Hey! Thanks for starting this topic! Super awesome! 🙂 (And it really got me thinking)

Your story sounds so intriguing. And sad. I can definitely tell that it’s going to be very well written :).

@wolverinerm

It eats my posts like ALL the time so I have gotten into the habit of copying what I have written so that just in case it…[Read more]

@eden-anderson @wolverinerm @beth20 @chalice @devastate-lasting @emberynus-the-dragonslayer @emma-starr

Sooo…now that we’ve all got to hear a little about each-other’s stories, I was wondering if everyone would like to share some of their characters?😊

Tell us what they look like, why you like them, personality, strength/weaknesses, and mayb…[Read more]

@beth20 Thanks for the summary! It did help!

@anne_the_noob14 Okay, thanks for keeping up with everything! You’re an excellent second-in-command. I think it is a good idea for you to do the next topic if more people join because I can’t promise I’ll be extremely active.

@rusted-knight Wow, I like the symbolism in the mirror. I will have to use…[Read more]

@beth20 Ah thank you!

@arindown

Really good!

@Beth20

I’m hopping on!

@thedarkninja03

Amazing! It really makes me want to know what will happen next!