Character Castle 2.0
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It was great!!! We spent three days at the Creation Museum and three days at the Ark, and it was super cool! I think my favorite was the Creation Museum. The shows they put on in the theatres there were super cool and it was awesome and words do not suffice. The Ark was so real and it hit me pretty hard. It was h0nestly really emotional walking around inside of it and knowing that what they did at this ark was probably super similar to how the real ark was. It was like literally stepping back in time and then realizing that God really did all of that. Okay I’ll stop rambling now lol!
"The darkness is seldom complete, and even when it is, the pinprick of light is not long in coming."
Oooh, let the fun begin!
Sahar
“I have to be,” Yila murmured. “Otherwise people will die.”
Okay, edgy. We all have our issues, I was just trying to be nice.
After she finished shooting the arrows, she drew a knife and hurled it into the target, right above the bundle of arrows.
This girl was starting to annoy me. I could stand people showing off, goodness knew Acyn did it enough, but she took herself so horribly seriously at all times. It was getting tiresome, but I didn’t let her see it.
She walked to the target and removed her various weapons.
“I need to talk to my brother,” she snapped. “Use my target, but don’t break it.”
As soon as I was sure she was looking away, I rolled my eyes and pulled a face. That had been unecessarily rude.
I threw the sets of knives into the target, changing my aim every time. I took my time, letting the cold steel slip between my fingers and enjoying the hard thwack as they hit the target.
I was getting goosebumps on my arms. Was it just me or was it getting colder? Caves were naturally cold, but it was definitely colder than it had been.
Then a booming metallic voice cackled maniacally.
“Thought I’d forgotten about you, did you?”
I spun around, my knife ready to throw.
“Don’t try me, lump of bricks,” I called, cheerily. “I’d happily shred your internal workings.”
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Qatar
From somewhere ahead of him he could feel puffs of cold air washing across him. The wet sound had become constant, but now the splashes and rumblings he had heard before were louder.
The air became damp, and he shivered. To his left he could feel the a vast emptiness, dropping to unknown depths below him. On his right, rocks were piled high enough to form a half wall that slanted up into the darkness to the roof of the cave.
He glanced back. A little light was gleaming by where the others stood. Quin was talking to the new girl, and Sahar and Yila were throwing knives. He could make out the stream, small and splashy and silver, but it’s little voice was lost in the deep, constant sloshing of water ahead of him.
He took another step, testing the ground as he went. Then another. The path narrowed ahead of him, and he reached out to grasp one of the boulders on his right. He took another careful step.
All at once, something strong and slimy gripped his leg. he gasped and raised his knife, but before he had time to plunge it into the dark mass, it had pulled him forward with a steady, irresistible force. Another arm of slime wrapped itself around his chest, pinning one of his arms to his side. He opened his mouth to shout, but suddenly he was surrounded by darkness, slime, and hideous strength. He slashed desperately with his knife into the darkness, but the slime shifted its hold constantly, and nothing was stable.
he felt icy water all around him, and another arm of slimy power encircled his knife hand. The hand went numb, and he dropped the knife.
Quin. Why didn’t I tell Quin where I was going? Niarok? that girl–someone!
The splash was all around him this time, and the thunder of stones was deafening. He opened his mouth once more to yell, but numbing water filled it, and he slid beneath the surface without a sound.
~~~
Okay guys! This is either “somebody has to invent a super-power to hear things that cannot be heard” or..or…
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comOooh, let the fun begin!
LOL!!! That was EPIC! I loved the whole thing – so undeniably Sahar!
I LITERALLY LOVE YOUR QUOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I’m actually going to do a triple post and I hope y’all don’t mind…
Yila
Yila shivered beside Niarok, staring around the cavern as the metallic voice stopped cackling. Oh, she was so done with this!
She gripped two of her sharpest knives in her hands, wondering if she should curl into a ball to conserve energy or start disassembling the castle brick by brick. The fact that she could be killed by a literal inanimate object was infuriating.
Niarok gripped her arm.
“Bedroll. Get the blanket and wrap it around your shoulders.”
Yila nodded. Now was definitely not the time to argue. She raced to her pack and yanked the blanket out, wrapping it tightly around herself. She strapped her quiver on over it, holding it in place.
Niarok did the same as her, glancing around the cavern like he was counting the occupants.
“Where’s Qatar?” he asked, the same moment as Yila felt a stabbing pain in her chest. Something was wrong. Someone was in serious trouble, and this time, it wasn’t one of her loved ones.
"The darkness is seldom complete, and even when it is, the pinprick of light is not long in coming."
So now I know something about Yila that I didn’t know before…
And I think this is going to turn into a double post rather than a triple post…
Niarok
Niarok hurriedly fashioned his blanket into a sort of cape, trying to keep warm against the castle’s attempt to kill them.
He glanced around, accounting for the occupants of the cavern. Leytera stood in a corner with Klein, Sahar crouched next to Yila’s target with a knife in her hand, Acyn and Quin were over by the stream, Lorcan was frozen somewhere between Yila and Leytera, Yila was close by Niarok, and Qatar was…
“Where’s Qatar?” Niarok asked.
Yila suddenly gasped and clutched her chest.
Oh no.
Niarok stared at his sister.
“Who is it?”
Yila stared at him, eyes wide.
“I think it’s Qatar.”
Niarok swore and drew his sword.
He didn’t care if the other people in this cave didn’t want to listen to him or didn’t respect him. This was a life and death situation.
“Everyone, get close together. We must conserve body heat. If anyone was blankets or warm clothing, put it on. If someone doesn’t have something, share with them. I’m going to find Qatar, and Lorcan is coming with me. Anyone who as weapons, keep them at the ready.”
Niarok turned, staring at the two outlets from the cavern. One led back the way they’d come, the place where the jungle had halted. The other disappeared the other way, narrow and dark. Niarok could hear rushing water coming from a distance inside it.
He nodded and gripped his sword, then walked into the dark passage, hoping Lorcan would just follow him without asking questions. He would need Lorcan’s ability to teleport.
Okayyyy I definitely did not expect Lorcan to get involved… @irishcelticredflowercrown you can have Lorcan refuse if you want.
"The darkness is seldom complete, and even when it is, the pinprick of light is not long in coming."
Hey so I’ve stalking this new story line for awhile now – I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep this up, but this new threat is interesting and I couldn’t resist lol
Misu:
Ferran and Liorah were nowhere to be seen.
First the hall had turned into a city – not an everyday occurrence, to be sure, but not entirely unexpected. It certainly wasn’t the strangest thing he’d ever seen in his existence.
And then there were those giant packs of wolves. And combustible black slimes. And then a skyscraper fell and that’s when Liorah and Ferran disappeared…
Misu sighed.
This is getting me nowhere.
Misu picked his way through the cavern, his footsteps dimly echoing in the damp chamber. He pulled his coat tighter around his shoulders. The air was cold down here. Cold and stifling – just like Spire, except maybe a little less polluted.
Maybe a lot less polluted.
This cave was deep, and darker than night. If he were like, say Ferran and Liorah, navigation would be impossible here. He grinned.
Good thing I’m not like them, then.
He could see things that they couldn’t, after all. Like the glaze of countless crystals painted on the roof of the cavern – like millions of stars, millions of matches waiting to ignite at the first kindling of light, and there was that still, clear lake just ten feet away to his right, and underneath that clear surface…
This place is corrupted.
Misu frowned.
There’s something dark in here.
I can sense it.
A choked gasp ripped through the silence air. Slimy tendrils shot out of the water, rippling and throbbing as they slithered along the path, spilling darkness like oil on a lake…
A wild shriek tore through the cavern just as the tentacles started to retreat.
“Oh no you don’t!”
The walls of the cavern kindled, igniting in a brilliant refraction of blazing white light. The still water erupted in a mirror reflection of light and wings and thousands upon thousands of wheeling eyes.
We’re not playing in your plane of existence anymore.
The creature reeled, shrinking back as the inky darkness began to disintegrate.
Just a second more and…
The lake heaved, erupting in a violent explosion of water and piercing white light. Misu snatched the young man out, shielding him against the rushing tide. The darkness was gone.
You’re safe now.
The light suddenly died out as Misu dragged the young man out. He choked, gasping and heaving on the dark shore. Misu sighed in relief.
“Are you ok? That was a nasty close call you had there,” He winced.
No no no, don’t start that way! He’s already traumatized enough as it is!
Misu shrugged off his coat, gently placing it over the young man’s shoulders. “You can call me Misu. What’s your name?” He crouched down beside him, gazing him anxiously.
*laughs as one fey*
@emily-waldorf feel free to change anything in here!
Also @denali-christianson I love your pfp! Is Eowyn your favorite LotR character? She’s definitely one of mine, although it’s kind of hard to pick a favorite 🙁
*laughs as one fey*
emily-waldorf feel free to change anything in here!
I like it! I might not get back to replying soon, though…I’m pretty busy. 🙂
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comWell since we are going to have snow lets make it even more interesting. There is a phenomena call Thundersnow and it would really mess with our characters. Just a little.
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen
Lorcan
Lorcan felt a cold feeling creep through his chest as Niarok and Yila stared at one another in shock and fear. Quin was missing. One minute he was there and the next-
He straightened his broad shoulders, clenching his fists as his worry for the lad increased. This place was messing with them, truly.
“Everyone, get close together,” Niraok said. “We must conserve body heat. If anyone was blankets or warm clothing, put it on. If someone doesn’t have something, share with them. I’m going to find Qatar, and Lorcan is coming with me. Anyone who as weapons, keep them at the ready.”
Lorcan didn’t even raise and eyebrow at his order. If it was anyone else, he would have threatened the person with his deathly stare. But this was a life and situation. It was about Qatar.
Niarok gripped his sword and strode towards the dark passage, where the roar of water could be heard. Lorcan followed close behind.
“Can you teleport us if necessary?” Niarok said to him. “If we’re to find Quin then we’ll probably need it.”
”It doesn’t work like that I’m afraid,” Lorcan answered gruffly. “Wish I could say otherwise, but my ability to use shadow metamorphosis is limited. I cannot use it if I can’t see where I’m going.”
Niarok turned towards him. “Have you ever tried?”
”Of course I have. It had disastrous consequences.”
”Ah. I see.”
There was a long moment of silence, interrupted only by their softly echoing footsteps and the nearby rush of water.
Lorcan broke it first. “Yila seems to have recovered nicely.”
Niarok nodded. “Yes. Thanks to you,” he added.
Lorcan simply lowered his head slightly.
Niarok let out a sigh. “Yila likes you, you know.”
Lorcan glanced at him briefly. “I know.”
I like her too. More than I should.
”You should know thats she’s a complicated person,” Niarok said steadily.
”Aren’t we all?” Lorcan kept his focus up ahead of him. “I’m not a good person Niarok. I think you know that. I have more demons than most people.”
Lorcan met his gaze reluctantly. “You’re her brother. I trust that you’ll know whats best for her.”
He didn’t need to continue. He saw the understanding in Niaroks eyes. He frowned up at him.
Lorcan glanced at the path before them. “She reminds me of someone I once knew.”
Niarok stared at him. “A girl?”
Lorcan remained silent as they strode forwards. Niarok seemed to understand his answer because his tone turned soft. “Where is she now?”
Lorcan had to fight to keep his voice monotonous as he answered. “She’s long gone.”
“What happened?” Niarok said in a low voice.
Lorcan gave him one word as an answer. “Me.”
Quin
Quin looked up from talking with Leytara. Where’s Qatar?
He looked toward the shadows by the wall where he’d seen him last, but his brother’s tall form wasn’t among them.
Quin frowned, and stopped listening to whatever the girl was saying to him.
He scanned the walls, looking. Where could he have got to? Quin shivered in the growing cold. Leytara was shivering, too, but he didn’t notice.
Then he saw something, among the shadows toward the back of the cave. something moving. Something…
Qatar?
“Excuse me,” he interrupted Leytara in something she was saying. “This will sound rude, but I have to look for my brother. Usually he tells someone before heading off alone.”
Unless I was the only one to tell, he thought grimly.
He hobbled off in the direction of the moving shadow, leaving the stream and the little bit of light that hung around the people he had grown to care about in just a short amount of time.
I should tell someone…he glanced up. Qatar’s shadow was just disappearing into the darkness ahead of him.
But I’ll miss him if I stop to tell anyone.
He thought about calling his brother’s name, but shook his head. he’ll hate me if I draw attention to him when he wants to be alone.
The way was growing stonier and steeper, and Quin’s crutches sunk into the sliding stones, while his foot slipped and slid. Once he fell onto his knee, throwing tiny rolling pebbles down into the cave below.
He looked up. He couldn’t see Qatar’s shadow ahead of him anymore. Too slow–again.
He struggled up, and half crawled, have walked up the steep incline of sliding rocks that ran to meet the cave wall.
He was breathing hard when he finally reached the wall and stopped to look around.
below him people were starting to huddle together because of the cold. Locran and Niarok were meeting and starting off together on a brisk walk in his direction.
for firewood maybe? Quin shivered.
He looked up. The sliding rocks sloped up toward the roof of the cave straight ahead of him, but off to his right and ten feet higher up he could see a thin ledge that skirted the wall.
that’s my mark.
He left one crutch, and crawled up the rock on his hands and knees, sending sliding pebbles scurrying away from him, and almost sliding with them.
Then he heard something.
A strangled gasp, followed a splash and rattle. Quin’s heart jumped, and raced on ahead of him into the darkness. He scrambled forward. Somehow, he gained the ledge and jerked to into a standing position, swaying dangerously on the small space.
There was another splash, louder this time–a double splash. And a shout that sounded muffled.
Qatar! it was his brother’s voice.
“Qatar!” he stopped caring whether his brother would hate him for disturbing him, and shouted his name wildly, but there was no answer.
His edging around the ledge was too slow by half. much too slow! he started a hobbling sort of run, heedless of the black chasm to his left, until the wall curved inward ahead of him, and the ledge narrowed to a few inches. his tapping crutch fell on nothing, and his limbs flailed wildly in the darkness. The back of his hand hit against the rock wall, and then he was falling.
First Mama, now Qatar. Because I’m too slow.
he wondered how much it would hurt when he hit bottom, and if anyone would ever notice that he were gone.
A blinding flash of light and a huge splash caught his eyes, just as he hit the floor with a sickening thud. Pain stabbed up his side, and darkness fell.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comYES, the Ark made me really emotional, too! I think it was the sound that got me the most–a complete surprise. (Which I have just ruined for anyone who hasn’t been there)
And thank you!! You recognized it! (I have met far too many people who don’t know of/haven’t heard of A Tale of Two Cities recently). 🙁
Qatar
Ice cold water filled his mouth and nose, and all sound went dead, except for the deafening crash and rumble of the Thing that had him in its slimy tentacles. Down, down they went, into water colder and darker than seemed possible. Feeling completely vanished, and he was lost in a world of numb darkness.
His lungs started to burn–they felt like they would explode if he didn’t have air.
Don’t take a breath. He concentrated all his mind on not breathing in the murky death all around him.
He took a breath. An anvil fell on his lungs, and he started to cough. More water filled his lungs, and his weak limbs started flailing. Trying desperately to shake off the iron grip of the monster.
The water started to shake, and light stabbed his eyes.
I didn’t know there was light involved when someone drowned to death. Why in the name of everything didn’t I tell Quin where I was going?
The water heaved, and the light became unbearable.
All at once, the monster’s grip vanished. His muscles were almost too numb to notice.
Hard stone hit his face, and air colder than the water washed over him. The water still had his feet, and was dragging him back toward the pool. The thunder of the stones was next to his ears.
He coughed, and tried to reach the air that must be around him, but the water in his lungs was still suffocating him.
Strong hands gripped his forearms and dragged him up, out of the water into the freezing air.
“Are you ok? That was a nasty close call you had there,” said a strange voice.
who are you? where am I?
a heavy overcoat was draped over his shaking shoulders, and warmth instantly started to seep back into Qatar’s aching bones.
“You can call me Misu. What’s your name?” Said the voice. A man crouched down beside him, gazing him anxiously. Qatar coughed again and looked up. The man’s face seemed rimmed with the same light that had blinded him in the pool–too weird to be real, too bright to look at.
He winced at the pain in his chest.
Misu. Well if you don’t get more normal soon, I think I’d rather be back in there.
He glanced behind him at the dark, churning water and shuddered at the memory of the slimy grip.
Never mind.
He coughed up more water and gasped for air. Then he propped himself up on one elbow and said brusquely, “Qatar Miller. Where’d you come from?”
@calidris, you probably know already, but Qatar is a bit of a jerk–I hope Misu doesn’t feel too bad when Qatar snaps at him. I’m excited to see where this will go!Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.com*Tackles you with a hug* CALIDRIS!!! YOU’RE BACK! (At least temporarily but I’m SO happy to see you!)
LOL, that was the most Misu post in existence XD Misu: *Explodes in blinding heavenly light, countless eyes, wings, wheels, the whole heavenly thing in all its splendid, blinding horror*
Also Misu, not three seconds later: *very flustered* “Oh, mercy, I’ve made things awkward.”
He’s too adorable for words 😭🥰
Ooh, seeing Lorcan and Niarok interact was so fun! Every time I read about them and Qatar I have to kick back the urge to introduce that other character. Actually, I’m going to as soon as we get past the snow thing. I love Sahar and Acyn dearly and I might bring them back but they’re way out of their depth in that group and I’m actually not learning anything about them.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
GUYS!!! I HAD AN EPIPHANY!!!
So, I’ve been rubbing my three brain cells together about the issue of Acyn. More specifically, Acyn being annoying. (Admit it, you’ve all thought it. I have.) He’s not completely annoying, but he’s constantly straddling the line of annoyingness.
I thought it was just his personality and that’s the only thing making him interesting, then I figured out the actual problem while watching OSP’s video about the smart guy in a five-man band. Acyn squarely fits this trope and I knew that when I started writing him.
So, Red mentioned that one of the main issues you run into with that character is that they’re always either overpowered or useless. It made me realize that Acyn doesn’t really…. do anything. He’s just there to give exposition and be funny now and then and be a foil for Sahar.
And then I remembered Sanderson’s three principles of good characters.
Likeability: Pretty fine, maybe 7/10. He’s kinda annoying now and then but he genuinely cares about his friends and has a rock solid moral compass even when the others are sliding all over the place.
Like, he probably has the most fixed morals of all the characters. You’d think it’d be Sahar but once someone hurts someone she loves morals go out the window and it’s just straight up murder. (not even an exaggeration)
Competence: Decent. Maybe 6/10. He’s excellent at anything that involves straight-up book knowledge, but even then it’s a toss up and he may only know part of it. Problem is, the other characters are mostly well-educated. (Like, half of them are royalty, it’d be weird if they didn’t know this stuff.) He has the broadest knowldedge of all the characters and it does come in handy now and then, but if it’s really that important, one of the other characters probably knows it too.
Now comes the problem. Proactivity. Like, practically no score. He doesn’t acknowledge a problem until it’s practically punching him in the face and even then, he doesn’t want to solve it. Even Faye, who canonically cried during her only fight scene and only wants to go home, has way more agency.
He never comes up with an idea, only corrects other people’s ideas. He hasn’t had an original thought during the entire series because he dedicates most of his screentime to avoiding the problem.
So… that needs fixing. It’s not even a hard fix, I just can’t believe I didn’t notice it before.
Also, had another couple interesting ideas. In my book, the five man band is more like a seven man band but it’s never more than five or six of them active at the same time.
For those of you who don’t know, five man band is a common way to structure character groups so they all have dedicated roles. There’s the Leader, the Lancer (the leader’s (more edgy) foil), the Tank, (most reliable fighter) the Smart Guy, (Actually thinks) and the Heart. (The only character with social skills.)
I initially thought Liorah was the leader, because… duh, she’s the protagonist. Until I figured out that no, she’s the Lancer! Gavril is the Leader and she’s his foil and ‘sidekick’. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have agency, only that he has more of a traditional hero personality and tends to be in charge when they’re together.
In the original setup, I thought Sahar was the Lancer because she’s Liorah’s best friend, but she’s actually the Heart, the character in charge of having empathy and keeping the others from commiting war crimes.
Ferran is pretty squarely the Tank, he’s the only character whose fighting skills don’t wildly fluctuate or toss themselves out the window in terror. He’s also the only dependable character. Someone help him.
Acyn is the Smart guy, no explanations needed.
Admittedly, the five-man band changes as the characters develop and swap places and appear and disappear. (….I’m not going to elaborate on that.)
This was all irrelevant, I was just excited about it and wanted to rant about it 🙂 Thank you for coming to my TED talk XD
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
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