Character Castle 2.0
- This topic has 2,849 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
Klein left the rations on the ground. A lot had happened to this group before he arrived. They probably had some reservations about him. Taking a pocket sandwich and beef snack, he walked to the basin.
The grid pattern worried him. It was too different from everything he had seen to be good. The squares were about two foot by two foot. Striking one with the back of a gauntlet, Klein listened to the clank. It was iron or steel, not too thin but not too thick. Taking a cautious step forward, he put weight on the square. The floor didn’t give way so he stood more properly on it. In full gear, Klein weighted about five hundred pounds. Since the floor didn’t break with him standing on it, it wouldn’t break for anyone else.
Still not satisfied, Klein put his helmet back on. As the HUD lit up, he used all his scanners on the one square and then checked those results against the rest of the floor. Thermal imaging showed faint heat sources under several squares. The metal hide the exact shape of these objects. His laser rangefinder showed the basin shape was almost perfectly square. The whole room was a machine of some kind. An arena or colosseum. And they had to clear it.
There was a noise from behind. Snapping around, Klein dropped to the floor. The steel outer visor slammed shut over the Plexiglas HUD. His rifle’s electric scope synced over his right eye. It was only a swordsman, a dual wielder, Asian in appearance. Another victim of this place. Releasing the defensive functions, Klein took a knee. Seeing that no one had eaten the rations, he scooped them up and returned them to his pack.
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen
Misu hesitantly took a step towards the man – at least so he assumed. Evidently a soldier of some sort, his body and face were so obscured by a mixture of heavy armor, tactical gear, and what looked to be some form of cybernetics that it was nearly impossible to determine who, or what exactly he might be (*feel free to let me know if any of this description is wrong*). The man was kneeling, hastily tucking a sandwich into a heavy pack. Misu smiled nervously. There still seemed to be at least some sense of normalcy in this place, however small. He gazed intently as the soldier finished gathering his food, intrigued. The man had to have been enhanced in some way – no mere mortal could possibly stand under the weight of his armor alone.
The man stood up suddenly, and Misu hurried out the door. It would be impossible to determine his position in this strange new world, not without speaking to him first. Misu’s powers had been incredibly diminished, as his encounter with the door had proved. It would be most unwise to approach this heavily armed soldier, at least until he determined the degree of power he still wielded. At any rate, he still had a party to save. Perhaps we will meet again soon…
*laughs as one fey*
You pulled me in here, so explain to me how this works again? 🙂
how many characters can we introduce? I think I’m sticking with Misu for now, but depending on how things go, I might introduce a couple more
You can have two in at a time, but you can switch them out as often as you’d like! I’m actually going to swap out Liorah and Ferran pretty soon. I have two characters I want to develop before a rewrite. I think I’ll put them in after they figured out this trap.
Misu has a rather interesting personality, so feel free to give your characters rather interesting responses. You’re not going to hurt my feelings lol (although you might hurt his)
LOL, good! Liorah is extremely argumentative and Ferran is shy, which usually comes off as rude. XD They say some pretty offensive things sometimes XD
Liorah
The man smiled uneasily, then sheathed his swords. Thank goodness. Those looked sharp.
I had just been measuring my chances against him. Ordinarily, I could have held my own, and with Ferran on my side I would have won easily, but something about this man was deeply unsettling, though he seemed friendly enough.
“You can call me Misu if you wish. Most people do. Some people call me an idiot, but that isn’t at all to my liking. I came to this room here because I thought I heard people in trouble, but you two look like you’re doing fine! Are you having fun? This place looks…fun,” Misu beamed at me and I barely suppressed the urge to laugh. Fun wasn’t the first thing that popped into my mind.
I settled for shooting Ferran a highly amused glance. He signed something to me, spelling out a name. Acyn. Ferran didn’t usually sign me things, I only knew the simplest signs and he was so fast I couldn’t keep up.
I doubled over in laughter, trying to smother my laugh behind my hand. Ferran grinned. He was right, Misu reminded me a lot of Acyn, especially the rapid-fire stream of nervous rambling.
“You’re very welcoming – I can’t say the same for your lovely young friend, though. I talk a lot when I’m uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable? You look uncomfortable.”
It had been rude of me to burst out laughing, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was right about Ferran though. He was withdrawn at the best of times and hadn’t said a word since Misu arrived.
“I’m doing brilliantly, having the time of my life, thanks for noticing,” I said, sarcastically. Still, I couldn’t keep from grinning. At least Misu was amusing.
“I sense a great uneasiness about you,” he whispered, shifting towards us. He had suddenly turned serious.
Ferran shifted, making a quick sign to Azar so she stayed nearby him. She had been wriggling in excitement, desperate to greet the stranger. She seemed to like him, at least. Ferran was unsettled, to say the least. I shot him a questioning look, asking what was wrong.
He frowned, then shot a quick, barely perceptible look toward the stranger. It wasn’t just the whole situation of being trapped, something about this stranger seemed wrong to Ferran. I trusted his judgment and my smile faded and I let my hand rest comfortably on my sword.
“You are both in danger, this much is plain. You speak of a Lord Castle – who is he? His name is clearly a harbinger of doom to both of you. And where exactly are we?” He smiled ruefully.
“Where, where?” I imitated, lightly. “Beyond seven deserts, past seven mountains.”
He didn’t seem to catch the reference, which told me he wasn’t from Yerasht, like us. That was the traditional way to start a story, but he had no reaction to it.
“Wish I knew. I wandered into a cave, came out here. No idea.” I shrugged. “The same thing happened to Gav. I mean, Gavril, my older brother.”
I raised my voice, anger taking over once again.
“And Lord Castle, why don’t you introduce yourself properly?” I spat at one of the walls.
An ear-splitting crackle cleaved through the air petulantly, making Azar whine. I clapped my hands over my ears, disgusted.
As soon as the deafening roar had passed, I mockingly imitated it, though at a much quieter volume. The castle seemed to have no reaction to taunting, but I enjoyed it and it amused Ferran, so it was entirely worthwhile.
Ferran snickered, which was exactly the reaction I’d been hoping for.
“Is that all you have to say for yourself? You, who brought this entire chaotic mess upon us? I think you’d have a better excuse than that!” I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet in anger.
“You aren’t going to throw your boots at the wall again, are you?” Ferran asked, quietly.
“Don’t tempt me, I might.”
I snorted disdainfully and shot a cutting glare at one of the castle walls, my standard way of expressing distaste in the castle.
“You see, I’m not actually sure where I am. I may have accidentally cheated a bit to get here – nothing illegal, mind you, just a little bit of dimensional trickery.” Misu paused. “You’ll have to excuse me – I ended up here entirely by accident. I am dealing with a very clever and unorthodox foe, and so I resorted to very clever and unorthodox methods to find him, which is how I ended up here. You two haven’t seen him, by any chance?”
Dimensional trickery? What was that supposed to mean? A cold shiver ran up my spine and I stared hard at him. I had a sudden wish that Gavril was here, or my friend Nebiah. They were much better at these kinds of things. Something about this person was not natural.
I unconsciously reached for the tassels at the corners of my shirt, running my fingers over the blue and white knots, seeking comfort there. I didn’t find it.
“Don’t think so,” I said, curtly.
Klein was doing something off to the side, but I barely noticed. Ferran was watching him with interest, and he’d alert me if anything was wrong.
My first instinct was to like Misu, even trust him, but something seemed decidedly off.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
You pulled me in here, so explain to me how this works again?
Pick one of your characters, write a short description for them, and then write a short piece in which they stumble into the castle in some way, then they can start interacting with the others!
This doesn’t need to be fancy, my characters usually enter a cave because they’re stupid and then they get trapped and end up in the main room with the others, but I’ve also had them literally drop from the ceiling with no context XD
I explain everything in way more detail on the previous page, and I have descriptions of all the current characters there, so you can go check that out!
Feel free to ask if you have any more questions!
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Liorah shifted uncomfortably, her fingers threading around the tassels at the corners of her shirt. She frowned. “Don’t think so.”
“Oh,” Misu bit his lip. This is awkward. He felt Liorah’s wary eyes burning right through him, slowly withering his resolve. How it would feel to be trusted just this once…
“You’re much too free with your words,”
Misu could see him clearly now, chiding him distractedly as he cleaned a revolver.
“You’ll give away something important here if you don’t learn to shut your mouth.”
Misu smiled wryly. If only Avathi were here. Of course, Avathi would have much more to lecture him about if he could see him now. He wouldn’t be too happy to see him in 2,000 years outdated clothes, and of course he would complain about the fact that he still hadn’t switched to firearms. And losing the Shrike? That’s a thought best left untouched.
Liorah’s companion shifted, snapping Misu back to the present. His dog jumped up, gazing up at him with soft, friendly eyes. At least their dog is a good judge of character. And who could hardly blame them? There was something uncanny about this place. He forced a smile.
“Oh well. You’d know if you saw him. He has a nasty habit of bending re-” Misu winced. Yet another near aversion of a verbal disaster. He sighed. “Never mind. It isn’t important.” Yet. He bit his lip nervously. Something he had said had deeply troubled these companions, although he couldn’t say exactly what.
It was the part about finding myself here wasn’t it? Or was it the part about the Shrike? The first time I mentioned him, that is. Am I just talking too much? I’m talking too much. Did I even tell them about the Shrike to begin with? What about a truce, will that convince them? If it doesn’t then nothing will. Is that why they’re scared? Because people try to kill each other here? I hope not. What if someone tried to kill me? That would be even more awkward…
Misu extended his hand, trying to ignore the two companion’s deeply uncomfortable gazes, trying to swallow the nervous tension gathering in his own throat. “Truce?”
*laughs as one fey*
Hugon is sardonic, sarcastic, and cynical. Tristan strives to be of high honor and dignity, and he is gregarious. Maven is a roguish jokester, but also a good friend to Tristan.
Hugon:
The sky was coated in a blanket of red from the setting sun as Hugon reigned in his gelding. He had reached his destination. Rising up from the hilly plain was a castle, and though he had never liked the pretentious erections, he had to admit this one was worth looking at. The utter opulence of the massive white walls was like nothing he had ever seen. Intricately cut machicolations lacquered with silver protruded between the crenelations like rings on a merchant’s fingers. Too bad these rings couldn’t be stolen. Cylindrical towers with sinuous silver lines dancing up their thick sides rose from the wall at intervals. Banners of bright yellow flew from the towers baring the emblems of white eagles. A hundred or so paces directly in front of him lay the gatehouse, flanked by two smaller towers. A portcullis of burnished steel blocked the huge double doors that acted as the gate.
This was just wonderful. If he got stuck in there, he would make Tristan regret the day his mother first laid eyes on his father. Speak of the devil, Tristan rode up next to him, Maven close behind.
“Contemplating our predicament?” Tristan asked, looking at Hugon with that strong face of his.
Hugon brushed a strand of his blonde hair back behind his ear. “Of course not. I was merely admiring the stunning beauty of such magnificent works of art.”
Maven chuckled. “And I stole a kiss from Count Theobald’s wife.”
Hugon looked at Maven’s charming face and shaggy blonde hair. “You’re too ugly for that.”
“You do realize you look quite similar to me. Except for being short…and having a face that is too sardonic for it’s own good…and never smiling…and–you know what, you actually aren’t near my level.”
Hugon gave him a nasty grin. “How do you like my smile?”
“The ladies would be swooning.”
Hugon glared at him. “You little bast-”
“Will you two stop?” Tristan asked, his voice exasperated, “We have a mission to accomplish.”
Hugon turned his sour look on Tristan. “We’re all going to end up decorating this lord’s wall and you know it.”
“At least I’ll be a nice decoration.” Maven said.
This time, Tristan joined Hugon in glaring at Maven. Maven found a sudden interest in the castle walls. “Enough about wall decorations though, these walls are already magnificent.”
Tristan sighed. “They are. Whoever lives here knows how to erect fortresses and make them lavish at the same time.”
—————————————————————————————————————–
Am I on the right track here?
@noah-cochran You’re doing good, except you need to find a way to get your characters inside the castle so they can start hanging out with ours! The castle is really just a series of never ending rooms and settings that challenge the characters (I think? @rose-colored-fancy is this right?) I actually haven’t been here for that long, so I’m still figuring things out lol
*laughs as one fey*
I knew I was missing something, thanks pal. 🙂 Writing other people’s characters sound like fun, maybe I’ll try that tomorrow.
@noah-cochran of course! With regards to other people’s characters, you write the interaction from your character’s pov, then the person who has the character your character is talking to would write their character’s response. So it’s not so much writing other people’s characters, but more of your character interacts with other people’s characters. You might want to look at some of the stuff that I did with @rose-colored-fancy. It’ll get the point across better than I can lol
*laughs as one fey*
Machicolations!!You got it! That’s just right! Which character (s) are you going to put in? The limit is two characters per person at a time (More than that is really hard to manage 🙂 )
If you’re having trouble choosing, pick those that don’t particularly like each other. That’s always way more fun to write XD
I can’t wait to see more of them, and I loved that little squabble between Hugon and Maven, it was really funny XD
Yep! That’s correct! Aww, I really love Misu already!
Ferran
Liorah was picking at her tassels. She was uneasy.
Azar wasn’t. She wasn’t listening to me. I had told her to sit but she was trying to jump up against the stranger. I snapped my fingers and ordered her to my side again.
Her feathery tail drooped and she slunk to my side, shooting me a reproachful look. The stranger looked just as disappointed.
I rolled my eyes and flicked my hand in a gesture that meant “go ahead”.
She pounced at the stranger, tail wagging frantically, happily greeting him.
Misu still looked uncomfortable, trying to avoid eye contact. He gave an uneasy smile.
“Oh well. You’d know if you saw him. He has a nasty habit of bending re-” Misu winced. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”
He looked beyond nervous. I couldn’t help a twinge of sympathy. Ending up here was never fun, especially when everyone seemed hostile. He seemed to have genuinely good intentions, but something about him made a shiver run down my spine.
Misu extended his hand,
“Truce?”
I smiled half-heartedly and took it. His hands were calloused in the same way Gav and Liorah’s were. Swords, not work.
“It was never a fight,” I said, shortly. I tried to sound reassuring, but the tension merely made me sound blunt.
“I’m sorry you ended up here. We’ll be fine,” I said.
Liorah snorted and tossed her long braid over her shoulder. Her right hand was still resting on her shamshir, uneasily.
“We’ll be fine a lot faster if we’re all honest with each other. What are you?” she asked, getting straight to the problem.
So she had felt it too. Something about Misu was not quite… right. It didn’t feel malevolent, merely foreign.
I shot a look at Liorah. She was scowling, which wasn’t unusual, but she didn’t seem annoyed, merely troubled.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Liorah is extremely argumentative and Ferran is shy, which usually comes off as rude. XD They say some pretty offensive things sometimes
Is that pretty much what I’m supposed to use to write your characters?
“We’ll be fine a lot faster if we’re all honest with each other. What are you?”
Misu froze, his fingers still firmly entrenched behind the dog’s ears. Not this question. He sighed. Anything but this question. Of course he would answer honestly. And yet there was a fine line between honesty and oversharing, a line that he had unfortunately crossed many, many times over. And what of the assignment? He had been given this disguise for the specific purpose of comforting and reassuring humans like Liorah. Could it really be that she would be more comforted to see him without it? Absurd. The idea was laughable. And yet…
There’s no trace of the Veil in her gaze. Liorah and her companion were clearly of a different world. Would they be more likely to understand than, say, the citizens of Spire? He bit his lip, brows furrowed in thought. Of course! There was only one true constant throughout all worlds and timelines, especially the ones he knew nothing about. There was only one way to find out. Misu gazed up at Liorah excitedly.
“I am a servant of the One, The Creator.” He smiled warmly. “But, perhaps you know him by a different name in your world?”
@rose-colored-fancy tell me if you ever want Misu to reveal himself for real – I can arrange that lol*laughs as one fey*
Is that pretty much what I’m supposed to use to write your characters?
Yep, pretty much, but as Calidris said, you don’t really write other people’s characters, you just write your characters’ reactions.
So, what you would probably write now is your characters arriving in the castle, figuring out they’re trapped, and stumbling into the room with the others. They might say a line or two of dialogue or ask a question, but leave it open-ended.
Then someone else will write their own characters reacting to that and so on.
A good rule of thumb is that I don’t write dialogue for anyone else’s characters, since that’s hard to get right. If you absolutely need a short remark like “Yes, no, sure” etc, that’s cool, but try to limit it as much as possible.
As for actions, basically the same. A brief expression or inconsequential action is alright, but only when absolutely required for your characters to keep going.
I hope I was clear enough 🙂 Just write and have fun, don’t worry about it too much, it’s not that big of a deal if you make a mistake 😉
Liorah
Misu looked doubtful at my question, then seemed to come to a decision. He looked straight at me now, excited.
That feeling deep in the pit of my stomach got stronger. I had felt it before. Not often, and seldom as strong, but I knew what he was even before he confirmed my suspicions.
“I am a servant of the One, The Creator.” He smiled warmly. “But, perhaps you know him by a different name in your world?”
I instantly took a step backward, a shiver of both fear and excitement. I let go of my sword but gripped my tassels even tighter. Ferran’s grip on his staff relaxed. He knew who, or rather what, Misu was as well as I did. He had felt it even earlier than I.
“We’re all His servants, but you’re a Messenger, from Adonai,” I stammered. There wasn’t even an instant of doubt that he was telling the truth. “I never saw one before. I heard but–”
I was suddenly both more terrified than I had been in my entire life and curiously joyful. I didn’t need to be afraid of him, he was on our side.
“I mean– I’m not a Seer or a Prophetess, so I suppose it’s only natural,” I said, with a nervous laugh.
Ferran got straight to the point, as he always did, but his tone had changed. He was no longer suspicious or uncertain.
“You’re here because you heard us in trouble, but are you here to get us out of here?” Ferran asked,
~~~~~~~~
tell me if you ever want Misu to reveal himself for real – I can arrange that lol
Liorah’s going to freak out! Pick your moment and do it, it’ll be hilarious XD
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
“We’re all His servants, but you’re a Messenger, from Adonai,” Liorah stammered. Misu nodded, smiling warmly. “I never saw one before. I heard but–” she gripped her tassels, eyes shining. “I mean– I’m not a Seer or a Prophetess, so I suppose it’s only natural.” She laughed nervously. Misu smiled uncomfortably. The poor girl was clearly terrified, and who could blame her? Just try to act normal. That was all he could do.
“You’re here because you heard us in trouble, but are you here to get us out of here?” The sudden question startled him out of his thoughts. Misu looked at the boy sympathetically (*Just wondering, did Ferran ever introduce himself?*).
“No, not especially. I came to this room because I heard you in trouble, but I’m not entirely sure how I ended up… here.” He sighed and gestured back at the door. “There’s no doubt that I entered through a Rift – there’s no shortage of those where I came from. But it’s likely closed by now. Those smaller ones heal in no time.” Misu paused, eyes downcast.
“I will help you to the best of my ability, but I’m afraid there’s not much I can do to help you escape. I can only enter an existing Rift: I don’t have the ability to open one on my own.” He looked up with a warm smile. “It would seem we have someone on our side, at least. Someone had to have opened the Rift I entered through, and there’s a chance they could still be in this castle, which is good news for us. Unless…” Misu’s smile faltered
“Unless…That Rift could have been opened by the Shrike.” he murmured softly. “That’s actually the most likely answer. He likely passed through here while trying to escape.” He bit his lip, glancing up at the two sharply.
“You haven’t happened to see or hear anything odd, have you? This is an uncanny place, to be sure, but it seems fairly…stable, if you know what I mean. You would know if a Rift had been opened.” He rubbed his brow and sighed. What a mess.
“There’s nothing we can do about it now. He’s likely long gone by now – and I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. There’s a possibility that we could escape through one of the Rifts he opened, but I wouldn’t risk it. Any that he left behind were opened hastily and dangerously, and there’s no telling where they lead.”
@rose-colored-fancy you might want to go check out the villain castle 😉*laughs as one fey*
- The forum ‘Private: Fantasy Writers’ is closed to new topics and replies.
