Character Castle 2.0
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Thank you so much!!! That really means a lot 😀
I LOVED your post. I feel like you did a fantastic job writing from Ahab’s POV; both in how he reacted, but in that villain-y type way too. And, lol, I died from laughter at this line:
“Ahab looked her straight in the eye. “Not too much. I can still see your impudent little face.” ”
That seems like such a thing a villain like Ahab would say XD
I’ll crank out a post as soon as possible!
"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."
This looks interesting! I’m not that experienced of the writer but But this is looking fun. Would you mind if I wright out of character?
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
Sure!! I would love for you to join! The limit is ten people, and I think we still have some open slots. Jump right in!
"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."
Here’s my post! Please ignore the many typos that are probably there.
Colma cursed under her breath in her native language as she limped down the rough walking path. Pain jabbed her leg with each jerky step, and she longed to take that glowing book, set on fire, then throw it off a cliff.
Abruptly, Mr. Mountain Man–Ahab– materialized around a bend in the path. In front of him, he poked each stone with a branch, like he was blind and feeling his way. Ahab made his way towards her, and she wished her axe was still on her back instead of strapped to her leg.
Colma eyed him critically, and without thinking it through, asked, “Are you blind or something?”
“Not much. I can still see your impudent little face,” he responded calmly.
Colma tensed. She hated being called a name. Not only did it injure her pride, but she especially loathed when people referred to her as “little.”
They stared at each other for a moment, and Colma’s eyes blazed. But Ahab, seeming to decide he had better things to do, sort of smiled and announced,“I am going on my way. Feel free to follow, and feel free to leave.” He started again while still thrusting his stick onto the path.
Suddenly, it dawned on Colma what he was doing. He must be checking the path for traps! With all that had happened in the last day–or had it been longer than that? Or less? She couldn’t tell, though it certainly felt like she needed to catch up on sleep–it was likely in Colma’s opinion that this path could crack open and swallow her if she stepped on a wrong stone. She mentally berated herself. She should have thought of that before.
Without glancing back at Ahab, Colma haughtily started down the way he had come. She determined that she wouldn’t act like some small lost kid and go follow the first person she saw after being teleported, or whatever had happened.
But as she hobbled down the path Ahab had walked up, she noticed along the side of it signs of a massive creature. Dung and claws slashes spotted the ground and trees. She slowed, and studied them. Whatever made them was much larger than any creature she had where she was from.
Colma peered through the lush undergrowth, and saw some rustling. An enormous yellow eye appeared from the shadows, and seemed to gaze at her.
She nearly fell over and froze. That single eye was big enough that it made her scared, and that was an unfamiliar feeling for her. She had seen a lot, but when it came to giant beasts lurking in the shadows when she was injured and virtually helpless? That was off of her turf.
Colma, her heart pounding in her ears, cautiously edged away and backed up the path towards Ahab, hoping that the creature hadn’t noticed her. Once she was sufficiently far from that area, she switched her creep into a painful jog, which was the best she could manage with her injuries. Her footsteps were agonizingly loud on the stone, and they clunked conspicuously. But she ignored that fact and focused on getting away from there.
Ahab glanced back at her, and Colma thought she saw surprise. But now, she didn’t care. This was survival, and if that meant making a fool of herself and going with this jerk? Fine. Even if she didn’t like it, fine.
Colma looked ridiculous as she careened towards him, but eventually she caught up, embarrassed as she was. “Don’t say anything, alright?” she muttered, glancing up at him, which made her irritated that she was that much shorter.
"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."
@this-is-not-an-alien Oh! Ehud was so sweet trying to help Erin! And what he was saying was so true, but also so sad… Now I feel bad for two people! btw, I love his failed attempt at a chute thingy, LOL
I think Ehud is SUPER resourceful! I mean, how in the beginning he used candle wax for his injured leg (it was candle wax, right? I don’t totally remember, that feels so long ago) and how he got down from the tree!
Thank you so much you’re both so sweet and I really love your characters!
“Right. The fool kid and the book. ‘I didn’t do it!’ ha, you did it this time, buster.”
@wingiby-iggiby, I literally burst out laughing when I read that!“Come on, let’s go.”
She got up and started to move so Ehud scooped up with his bag of accruements, slung his dinosaur-egg-filled jacket over his shoulder like a knapsack, and trailed after her. In the back of his mind he was still trying to guess her favorite color. Probably something dark and brooding like red, black…nono, no tone down, more low-key terrifying. How old was she, it hadn’t occurred to him to guess until he saw her, well, sobbing like a child. Ehud never cried loudly anymore and…
Seeing her like that stirred up a lot of memories he was trying to brush off. No one should ever be hurt like that, it just seemed so unnatural to Ehud, like a sign that whatever the world was supposed to be was fractured at the seams. He shrugged it off and tried to talk to get out of his head.
“Where are we goin’?” No answer. She was all business now.
‘As you’ve shown no signs of hostility even after I did, I have determined you are not a enemy. We can be acquaintances, not friends’. Was he even capable of any hostility? Maybe that was his problem; he was too weak to do anything even mildly threatening. It just didn’t make any sense to him why people had to be so cruel.
He bit his lip. He was thinking again.
When he felt like this he had to get away with something to keep from getting trapped..No stealing, stealing’s wrong, picking pockets is unacceptable.
“A dark green? Or gray-blue? Or maybe a heavy brown?” Erin continued to ignore him. She was pacing forward pretty fast either to appear like she knew where she was going or to avoid stopping. Ehud knew that feeling, but right now he was desperate not to do anything stupid.
That rose smell again. Everything was so new and brilliantly novel! Focus on that instead. He’d never seen a sky so blue before, all washed and polished without a hint of smoke or acid rain from the factories. Whatever foliage was around he didn’t hardly know what to take it for. He tried to soak every bit of it so he could remember it vividly when things got bad again. There was dirt and gravel caught in his sneakers. Tile between the garden areas that was hot to the touch in the sunlight. Sunlight looked so different from artificial lighting, more alive–
“Pale yellow!” Ehud burst out walking backwards to face Erin while keeping up. “It symbolizes treacher…uh…”
Ducking behind her lead again, he swallowed hoping she didn’t fit together his disjointed remarks. Why did he think yellow fit as a favorite color for her because it symbolized treachery? There was just something so edgy about her; half ruled by emotion, half ruled by logic but she couldn’t keep steady on one for long. His dad was something like that–Stop thinking, no good ever comes out of it.
There was a crash and something fell out of a tree nearby. Ehud glanced expectantly at Erin, who had instinctively jerked her gun toward the noise. With a sigh he dropped his pile of everything he had put in his pockets, pretty sure he could guess her next order. There was basically no other point in letting him tag along.
“I’m gonna go see what it is!” Before she could reply, he had darted off. So if she had meant to pass sound by he completely missed that.
“Hey, it’s Ax Girl! Are you ok?! Ow that looks like it hurts, don’t worry–Holy spacewars! It’s gonna kill us!”
Apparently a hungry dinosaur also heard the noise.To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
Your welcome 🙂 And thank you so much!!! I really like acting as him, LOL, it’s so fun 😀
I think there’s room, so feel free to jump in!
@everybody
I’m going beach camping Friday through Sunday, so I won’t be able to post till Monday or Tuesday. In the mean time, keep it up and don’t wait for me! 😉
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Allen heard the crash of branches. There was something there. Peering out from behind a leaf, he saw it. A velociraptor. A killer idolized in Hollywood as the best when it came to hunting humans. Allen had no intention to test that in the real life. This one looked hungry and he might be a good mouth full for one.
“Hey, it’s Ax Girl! Are you ok?! Ow that looks like it hurts, don’t worry–Holy spacewars! It’s gonna kill us!”
It was Ehud. The stupid idiot had tramped right out into the open and into the raptor’s view. Allen was outmatched but his training taught him to defend the humans. Drawing his sword, Allen struck first. Zipping in front of the raptor, he made a few quick slashes at its eyes. Two clawed hands flew out at him. Blocking one, Allen used the momentum of the other to zoom over to Ehud.
“Run!”
Turning, Ehud bolted. Good. Then Erin appeared with her gun. Very good. They might yet live.
“Enemy ahead. Engage him before he calls the rest of the pack.”
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen
Thank you so much you’re both so sweet and I really love your characters!
Thank you!! 😀
@wingiby-iggiby, I literally burst out laughing when I read that!
He he, thanks! And I love how Ehud’s mind is always in a million different places, XD Also, I had no idea pale-yellow symbolizes treachery.
And…. WE’RE INTO THE ACTION! I am interested in hearing more about how this fey fights, bc I never really considered how… but Allen would have the upper hand — he can’t be seen easily, LOL and he moves so fast.
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Ahab tapped along, deeply inhaling the clean, fresh air. “Ventilation in the walls and ceilings, I suppose,” he mused. He heard the girl — Calixta — trod off in the opposite direction and felt slightly relieved. Now he wouldn’t have to stop to help her — not that he had to anyway. But as he walked, he had time to think. And as he thought, he got angry.
“No telling how much I’ve missed. It’s had to have been at least two days. Saulus was supposed to send out the army, I was supposed to find a way… Then he’ll try to down-talk me as if we haven’t known each other since the middle of grade-school. Jezebel is probably anxious — Stop, Ahab. If I don’t ever get there I’ll never find out what I missed. But—”
He jabbed the stick down extra hard on a stone, and it splintered a quarter of the way up. “ARGG!” he grunted, flipping the long piece of wood over so he was holding it by the split part and tapping with the undamaged half. He continued on, trying to concentrate, but he kept fuming; pondering all he was probably missing, things that were important. His whole plan, all he had worked for, could be gone.
“Don’t say anything, alright?”
He nearly jumped in surprise. Ahab jerked around to behold the girl, limping along right next to him. She was glaring up at his face. Ahab was disgusted with himself. He had been so intent with his thoughts he hadn’t even heard her clumping along until she was right behind him. Dangerous. If she had had that ax free, then by now she could’ve been tugging it free from something else: his back. Now Ahab was irritated with her (and himself), so he sped up his pace. Otherwise he probably would’ve said something. She fell back a bit, but he could hear her breathing hard, trying not to be left too far behind.
Who knows how much longer they could’ve been going on like this when, suddenly, they heard a shriek-lik-scream (this is what it sounded like from that distance and all the plants in the way):
“–Orly acewars! It’s ‘onna krill us!”
Ahab’s brain immediately went: “Mr. Howler monkey. When I find him—” His thoughts were cut short when he heard an answering roar. Though Ahab had been walking for about five minutes, he hadn’t gotten far because of the care he was taking in picking out his path. And so the roar, he figured, was probably from the creature who had made that large nest. It was probably eating Ehud. Then there were several loud cracks. “Gun,” Ahab thought. It was Erin next on the menu. His mind raced, and Ahab was shocked to find himself questioning whether he should turn around to help. “Why should I, the brats?” He thought. “But they’re people,” a small part of him said. “No different than any others,” he replied. “No, they’re not. But they are still people.”
Why was he doing this? What had they ever done to help him? As soon as Erin had entered the room in the castle, he had found a gun in his chest. And Ehud — he was just loony. Besides, he had already killed innocent people in his life, and he wouldn’t exactly be killing them now. The monster would. “But you shouldn’t have killed anybody,” the tiny part left of him answered. “It was the only way!” Ahab growled back in his head.
“You know you were wrong.”
“I’m too far-gone! This is what it’s like, okay? There may be no one here to taunt me, but I can’t. I’m not that boy anymore! Why am I doing this!?!?” (by the way, this is all going on silently in his head)
Ahab hadn’t realized Calixta was watching him while he grinded his teeth and fumed. He looked away and started to walk, forcefully poking at the stones. Suddenly, however, Calixta froze, and Ahab turned around when he heard a large crash from behind.
A huge beast raced around the bend in the trail. Greenish blood flowed from one eye, and it looked like it was having a hard time seeing where it was going — that was obvious, it was lurching from side to side. But now was no time for thinking — even though that’s what his brain told him to do. Now was time for acting. Ahab grabbed the handle of his iron ball out of his belt, and as the devil raced toward them, he swung it at the wounded side of its head.
CRACKKTZZ.
The beast stopped. It was so stunned it couldn’t blink. Erin, Ehud, and a tiny little blur whizzed around the trail, coming to a halt. Calixta stiffened, and Ahab’s grip tightened on the handle of his ball. After several agonizing seconds, the dinosaur’s one good eye focused: on Ahab.
This was no ordinary dino; otherwise, it would have kept fleeing. It would have tried to escape. But this was Nomor, the terror at the top of the chain. Every beast in the miles-long-miles-wide-green-house shrank from him when they heard his roar. They hid when they smelled his foul breath. And none had ever dared to oppose him.
But now, strange creatures had invaded his turf. And they did not know respect. They poked at his eyes, they shot at him, and they hit him. He had started to run when the gun first blasted, but now his fury was kindled. He would annihilate the first thing he saw, and that was the man with the iron-spiked ball.
Ahab watched as Nomor raised his maimed head, running blood like a green waterfall, and drew himself up to his full height. The beast turned his eye to look at him. And then he roared; bits of food flying out of his toothy mouth and into Ahab’s face. Nomor started to charge.
For the first time in thirty-some years, a string in the back of Ahab’s mind was pulled. The tug at the line of fear was something he had not felt in a long time. A long time. He was usually the cause of fear, and if he had ever had any, he covered it up with anger and adrenaline. But now he was terrified. His heart was racing and his mouth was dry. The iron ball wouldn’t work in close range. Nomor was upon him.
And his sword was stuck in its sheath.
*****************************************************************************************************
I hope this is alright; I was thinking y’all could rescue Ahab 😛 But if y’all had something else in mind, don’t be afraid to tell me! I took some liberties with the dino, so really, if you guys wanted to do something else… I wouldn’t mind! 😉
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.I’m sorry, my kindle is being weird and the posts aren’t popping up on the forum even though I can see your posting from the home. I’m not going to be able to do character castle at least until my kindle starts working. But when it starts working again I’ll check in to see if there’s any more spaces open if there’s not then I’ve got a couple of collaborative stories going so I’ll be all right. 😉
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
So I just made the discovery that every time the form gets along it’s separated and 2 different pages and I was only looking at the 1st page.My kindle is working fine and I will be able to do this story.
P.s. Does your character have to be HUMAN? *laughs evily*
Beautiful things don't ask for attention
Ha ha, totally get it 😉 I once posted my stuff THREE times bc I wasn’t paying attention; the first post had started a new page. 😛
And no, your character doesn’t have to be human! A character is a character: be it tree or car, a house or glasses, I don’t care, LOL
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.And I love how Ehud’s mind is always in a million different places, XD Also, I had no idea pale-yellow symbolizes treachery.
Oh yeah thanks!
…
That is normal right?
Normal people think like that…right?!Blue symbolizes loyalty/truth, red courage, white faith/purity not even to go into the flag-folding
Each of the thirteen stars on the American flag symbolizes the original thirteen states, the red and white stripes symbolize the rest of the states and that’s off-topic isn’t it?
…
I go write now:)It took .002 seconds for the heavy underbrush to explode in front of him with teeth, claws and–Slash! Ehud jumped back as Mr Fairy attacked the giant lizard.
“Run!” Nobody had to tell him twice! By the time he darted back Erin was already on the ready. He wouldn’t have stopped running except he nearly tripped over his jacket so he scrambled to pick everything up and dropped half of it. About that time a mega-huge dino rocked the ground.
“Shoot it! Shoot it!” Ehud yelled even though Erin was already shooting. It suddenly occurred to him that Ax Girl looked in a real bad way and she wouldn’t be able to run. There was a earth shattering roar. With something possibly applicable as a curse, Ehud ducked back into the line of fire, still clutching all his accruements. Once he got to the foliage he started to crawl as quietly as possible instead of stumbling in there as loudly as a big fat oaf (he felt horrible just thinking about that, he literally did the dumbest possible thing and he knew he should’ve known better). But then he knocked face first into an inhabited spider web and all stealth was lost.
Not much good for anything, couldn’t even sneak into a dinosaur-infested garden to rescue basically a complete stranger and avoid getting gobbled by a super-big-dragon-sized dinosaur. Ok, ok, beating himself up was not productive. Where in the mythical Maranteluvia Tribe was he supposed to find Ax Girl anyway? This was one of his stupider stupid ideas. Something stirred a couple feet ahead–Wait, how was the fairy fairing? No wait, that had nothing to do with his situation. Ehud jolted to his feet to get a glimpse of what was moving but didn’t make it in time.
“Ax Girl? Are you ok?” He tried very hard not to shout. Whatever was her name? It sounded like a lightsaber or something. This place was scary, there was something scurrying around in just about every corner so he couldn’t keep alert for warning noises, half the time it was just birds or his own footsteps. Something was going to jump out at him at any second and he was going to get eaten. There was a loud rustling from somewhere and that wasn’t helpful.
“Ax Girl..?!” He was just reaching for his pocketknife when something suddenly yanked him to the ground.
“Don’t kill me! Don’t kill m–!” A hand clammed over his mouth just as some small dinosaur sniffed through a bush nearby.
“Shut up and get down!” Hissed the girl behind him “you’ll get us both killed like that!”
“Oh, heh heh, yeah…you r-really scared me there for a sec…” he halted in midword “shut up, right…I should shut up now..”To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
Have fun!! (even though you probably won’t see this until you get back, lol).
Yeah, I’ve done a lot of things like that, too, lol. Yup, like Wingiby Iggiby said, your characters doesn’t have to be human. Can’t wait til you bring your character in!
@rusted-knight and @millennium (and you too Wingiby Iggiby, though I’m not asking you to save Ahab, I just want to read this so my post makes sense 😉 )Would you guys mind saving Ahab?? I feel so bad, but I don’t feel like its in Colma’s character to help him if it means she could die….(That’s why she ran away) So do you think you could kill Nomor? I feel really bad, but Colma here, is ok with leaving people to die. *glares at her*
Hope this post is ok with you! For some reason, Ehud is having a lot of people cry around him XD
It had all happened so fast. Shouting. A giant, bleeding beast bursting out of the trees. Then it had started charging. And Colma had run like the coward she was. She had left Ahab to be ripped to shreds.
But, Colma reminded herself as she pushed through the undergrowth, would you rather die for a random stranger or save yourself?
She crept as silently as she could with her injuries, and the back of her neck prickled, like someone–or something–was watching her. Colma froze and splayed herself flat on the ground, quieting her ragged breathing. What if the monster attacking the others wasn’t the only one in the area?
Suddenly, the sound of blundering and someone calling, “Axe Girl?” shattered the tense silence. Colma peered through the lush bushes and spotted Ehud, who looked frightened.
“Ax Girl..?!” he called again uncertainty.
Colma shot out her hand and jerked him to the ground, covering his mouth as he exclaimed something. “Shut up and get down! You’ll get us both killed like that!” she rasped. Slowly, she released him, watching to see what he would do. He fumbled with his words for a moment before abruptly stopping. At least he hadn’t started running and making more noise.
She stared at him while trying to formulate a plan. Another creature was in the area, that was clear. It was snuffling nearby.
Colma’s breath, rapid and shallow, stuck in her throat, and she wished more than ever that she was safe. Preferably asleep and safe.
Colma, wincing, ripped off the straps tying her axe to her leg. Then she slowly grabbed her axe, just in case the small dinosaur found them.
As she did so, Ehud’s eyes widened and he stared behind her, mouth agape. Colma craned her neck around to see what he was gawking at, and saw a green snout poking out of the underbrush. Its nostrils flared, and it peeled back its lips to display razor-sharp yellow teeth, stained with blood.
Colma gasped and chucked her axe as hard as she could into its forehead. It toppled over with a high-pitched yelp, but squirmed and snapped at her foot. She jerked it out of the way and picked up a branch lying beside them and whacked its head with a sickening crack.
It twitched but stopped trying to bite them, and its yellow eye gazed at the sky. It was dead.
Breathing heavily, she turned to Ehud. Then the unthinkable happened. She hadn’t cried in years, but the stress and fear was starting to overwhelm her. Colma prided herself on how calm and resourceful she was in a bad situation, but the past day was too much. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she stared at him. She angrily brushed the tears away and avoided looking him in the eye.
“What should we do now?” Colma asked, trying not to show how much she just wanted to break into sobs like a little kid.
"I threw stones at the stars, but the whole sky fell."
Racing past, the raptor fled down an animal trail.
“Shoot him. Shoot him.” yelled Allen.
Allen feared the beast. Now that it was injured, it would be far more aggressive. If it regrouped with any from it’s pack, without a question, they would be overrun with raptors. There would be no way that these humans could escape without losing someone.
Chasing the dinosaur, Allen saw Ahab appear. Slinging a iron ball like a whip, the giant struck the beast full on in the head.
“Ow. That’s gonna hur…” began Allen.
The raptor recovered. Holy cannoli. Was it a zombie too? It took a great leap at Ahab, claws ready for a kill. Using a burst of magic, Allen speed toward the raptor. Could he make it? Could he penetrate the scales of such a beast with his sword? With a yell, Allen cast those thoughts to the wind and struck the raptor in the back of the neck. For good measure, he shot as much electricity as he dared through his blade and into it’s spine.
Hissing violently, the raptor continued its fall, crashing into Ahab. All three hit the ground in jumble. Allen stood up, shaking his head to clear the fog from his head. Best not try that again but man, now he had a kill no one back home would believe. He had killed a dragon class beast by himself, sort of.
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen
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