lattes_and_letters

Dakota replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 4 months ago

@beth20 You’re welcome!

Beth Darlene replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 4 months ago

@dakota Thanks so much, Dakota!!!

Dakota replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 4 months ago

@beth20 Good job on this poem! 🙂

Beth Darlene replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 4 months ago

@sam-m

Thanks Sam! It’s one of the only two poems I’ve ever written.

Sam M replied to the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

@beth20

Hi, Beth. You did a great job of writing an emotional piece in masterfully concise way. I like you’re writing style and thought it was cool how you ended the poem with a thought-provoking question. Great job!

Sam M replied to the topic I Would Be in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

@jennythefaun

Yeah, I can see now how that would be confusing. Thanks for the feedback! 🙂

Sam M replied to the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

@jennythefaun

Hi, Jenny! I like your vivid writing style and how the first lines of each stanza were parallel to each other. The way you ended it was cool too. I can’t think of any recommendations for improvement. Sorry. 🙂 It looked great to me.

Beth Darlene started the topic Drowning in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

Drowning

In doubt,

In hesitation.

Submerged

In my uncertainties

It’s wrong.

.

Hiding

My face,

All my feelings.

Deception

To cover

My anxiety

.

Fighting

To open,

To unbolt.

Conflicting

Emotions,

I’m confused.

.

Am I a closed door?

No.

But will this door ever open more than a crack?

No.

You think you know me.

Do you?

-Beth Darlene

Beth Darlene replied to the topic A poem – I want to weep in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

Nice poem @eitan!!

Gracie replied to the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

That was really good @jennythefaun !!

@anne-of-lothlorien

JennytheFaun replied to the topic I Would Be in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

I don’t know if you’re still looking for feedback on this or not, but just in case you are:

I thought this was really good! The main suggestion I have is that in the very first line, “was and am isn’t” really tripped me up. I understand now what you’re saying, but it took me two or three glances to piece it together.

My favorite line was “I…[Read more]

JennytheFaun started the topic The Party Tree in the forum Poets 5 years, 5 months ago

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZMIEA7d_LkfwEGUxcdqGM8-R5j_CZ5cJqDDVSxv6Nxs/edit?usp=sharing

I haven’t written much poetry, but this is one I’ve been working with recently. I feel like it still needs some changes, but I’m not sure how to move forward with it. Any critique would be great, especially comments on the doc.

Also, as I think…[Read more]

JennytheFaun joined the group Poets 5 years, 5 months ago