AshleaAdams

So, if two guards have Jake between them, and at the beginning of the scene, Jake is unconscious, his body would be hanging slack between them, lower than their waistline.  Any striking to be done would be below the guard’s waistline with Jake’s body angled down to a slant to the floor.  A knee to the stomach would require one of the guards to rel…[Read more]

“What’s your opinion?”

Nithel’s blood ran cold a moment when he heard those words, upon realizing they were directed at him.

The dragon rumbled, “We should move on.”

The thing’s presence was unsettling, but Nithel thought the phrase had saved him from answering. Nithel slowly stood with his new bag, sheathing his knife.

“Noted.” Alessio looke…[Read more]

@obrian-of-the-surface-world

Thank you for the tip! I was thinking something was off with that scene! If one of the guards hit Jake in the stomach with his knee, would that work?

I just love how Story Embers has writers and authors of various age groups!

Hi @scoutfinch190

I noticed something here…

Think about the physical proximity of the two guards that would be on either side of him.  Punching their captive in the mouth would make more sense if he was upright and facing them, or pinned to the wall.  At best, a guard might give him a grazing blow down the side of his jaw, but that would b…[Read more]

(I’m gonna add this into part two) The reason the prisoners are working manually is because the dirt holds a flammable material that may ignite if they used heavy machinery.

@joy-caroline

(I remembered telling you about this so I wanted to tag you as well 😁)

Here’s part two!

@this-is-not-an-alien @obrian-of-the-surface-world @Gracie-J, @lissie-w, @fitz, @jbstanhope @rose-colored-fancy

(I block quoted the beginning because I’m considering removing it)

A brief FYI: a character does say ” if I’m to go to h—, I’ll take some with me”, I know some people are sensitive to the use of the word ‘Hell…[Read more]

@this-is-not-an-alien @obrian-of-the-surface-world @Gracie-J, @lissie-w, @fitz, @jbstanhope @rose-colored-fancy

Here’s part two!

(I block quoted the beginning because I’m considering removing it)

A brief FYI: a character does say ” if I’m to go to h—, I’ll take some with me”, I know some people are sensitive to the use of the word ‘Hell…[Read more]

@this-is-not-an-alien

Hi! sorry that part two’s been taking so long, I didn’t eralize how much i needed to change for the benefit of the storyline…🤦‍♀️ And… it’s not easy being a professional procrastinator.

Ooh, what tragic symbolism did you set up for?

Yeah, the over-analysis of symbolism in books i can understand, but it’s still…[Read more]

“Well,” Brendin said with a wry smile, “last time I tried to negotiate with an eldritch being, I lost something.”
He motioned his false arm, the one that Alessio had noticed earlier and dismissed just as quickly.
“Granted I’ve not had much luck fighting them either.” He showed the scars across his torso, not much better than Alessio’s sca…[Read more]

Malvat was never pulled out, but he also has no handler: does Malvat slowly become a wraith and descend into madness or does Malvat become the Castle’s avatar…?

Of course, I’m oBvIouslY sweet!
Jk! Love you, Sonicup!!

*squeezes tightly*

Whacking sibling good!! 😀

IKR!!!

yay!

*Fred’s voice* It’s called recycling! LOL
YES!!…[Read more]

Pia’s eyes widened. “How? When did this take place?” She asked almost incredulously.

Kallun gently put a hand on her shoulder, “Pia…” he murmured. “Calm down a minute.”

K’Nika frowned. “A few months ago. I’m the only one that escaped…”

Pia shook her head. “That was my father’s doing and his alone. I apologize for his… his… abominable-“

”Pia!…[Read more]

(that’s great. Have you seen the one with the guy that says “liberty-biberty”?)

Ellie and Julian looked at each other for a moment. Something else was going on here. Could it be related to the wizard?

@erynne yeah my nickname is Emu, or Limu emu XD so

(Lolol my email I use for google stuff and following blogs is limuemu. My regular use one is different)

Kallun cocked head a little. “I actually might. K’Nika Ceubherna?” He gazed at the girl.

She nodded. “You’re Mallea.” Her purple eyes lit in realization. “You’re one of the Light Princes.”

“And I’ve seen you in the Realm.” Kallun nodded…[Read more]

(thanks for subscribing! AHHH YOUR EMAIL IS LIMUEMU!!! Did you get that from the liberty mutual commercial?)

“Do you know her?” ellie whispered to Kallun

@joelle-stone

Wow. You really outdid yourself. That format is helpful for me to see where I need editing. Thanks so much. I honestly facepalmed so many times cause I saw those stupid grammatical errors. Alas, computer spellcheck can be a terrible and unnoticeable enemy😂

On those adjectives, however, I totally get that, and your help…[Read more]

The girl hesitated a moment. “K’Nika…”

Pia stepped closer, saying, “you’re one of the Allawn tribe people, yes?”

But as Pia stepped forward, instant fear flooded over K’NikA’s face and she back away from her with a cry.

Pia stopped.

(Sorry, my internet has been really blah lately. Seems to be better today)

“Who are you?” Ellie asked gently

@crazywriter,

Ok, let’s get this ball rolling! I’m trying to do this in a Google Docs like format by striking through things I think should be removed and putting my suggestions in bold and comments in italics. Let me know if it didn’t make sense, and feel free to reject any and all suggestions. 😉

***

The next day, Abner woke to find the mornin…[Read more]