Fantasy Writers

Character Castle 2.0

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  • #121083
    Audra E. S.
    @backwardslivewriter

      @rusted-knight I’m praying for you! Hope it goes well.

      What should we do to them next? With Wen and Eltar as power players (I made them way overpowered… Eltar specializes in ice, stealth, and combat magic, btw. Wen specializes in combat, stealth, and anything you can think of, not to mention her energy) and leaders of an army in their own right, they won’t like Erin trying to take over…

      Ehud rushed over to Erin and continued dashing around. Wen paused by Erin.

      “Everyone! I’m off. Follow me if you will or stay if you might. I have the most advanced technology of all of you and I hold the best chance of returning you to your homes. But I am leaving now, so if you’re coming, I suggest you get a move on.” She held her chin high, smirked, briefly saluted, and tipped backward off the roof into the water.

      Wen blinked at that, gently reaching out and slowing Erin’s fall with her abilities. She glanced at her cousin and smiled slightly. “Want to show off?”

      Eltar groaned. “Wen-”

      She teleported all of them on the roof over to besides the pond, drying them of and spreading her umbrella in the process.

      “-don’t do- that.” Eltar finished tiredly.

      She pulled Erin out of the muck and used an instant cleaning spell easily as she used her magic to place Erin under the umbrella. “Even in my world, I am rather powerful. Please don’t test me. I was fighting in a war shortly before I came here, and am commander of the Dragon Rangers. My cousin and I can react swiftly and easily to all challenges you may give us. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to attempt to communicate with the sentient lands we seem to be trapped in.”

      She sat and began meditating, gingerly forging a temporary link between herself and the castle, ignoring all reactions to her blatant use of her power. Eltar would defend her.

      “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

      #121084
      Audra E. S.
      @backwardslivewriter

        Wen’s not very good at actual interaction with people who don’t resent her for her dragon, blood, and power, and aren’t trying to kill her. A battle might chill her out a little. The pride’s a bit of a defense mechanism. Eltar’s a bit better at social interaction(he was a diplomat for some time), but is definitely somewhat proud as a defense mechanism(his father’s.. odd). So they’re difficult to deal with. I apologize for their seeming antagonism.

        “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

        #121085
        Jasmine
        @jasmine

          @rusted-knight I’m praying for you! I hope I know it will go well!

          Brin stood there, staring stupidly at nothing. Her mouth hung open and she trembled.

          she threw me, then I was back on the roof, then I was in a pond, then I was on the ground then I was dry, then…then…what?! Just. Happened? I’m…it’s…I.  SHE THREW ME OF THE ROOF?!!!!!

          Brin didn’t know what to think. Her mind was whirling with so many emotions that she couldn’t think. She couldn’t think.

          take a deep breath.  Slow down. Think over what just happened.

           

          Erin had looked her over then seemed to make a decision.

          “I did find a way down,” Erin said cooly,  easily pacing on the very edge of the roof without any outward expression of worry. “Are you glad about that?”

          Brin nodded.

          “Then you’d be happy to help. Right?” Erin cooed, squatting down by her.

          Brin cocked her head. Why did Erin seem to be trying to calm her down?

          “Brilliant.” Erin  said  grabbing her. Before Brin had time to get loose, Erin flung her of the roof into open air.

          Brin found herself looking at the pond below her, then the castle above, then the pond below her , then the castle above. She was falling, she realized. She howled in terror before realizing that she wasn’t falling anymore. She was…floating? No she was rising. Then she was on the castle roof again. She heard Erin and the little flying guy arguing but her mind didn’t register. She still felt terror, as if she didn’t know she wasn’t falling anymore. She looked up to see Erin reaching for her again and automatically drew back.

          “I wasn’t planning on hurting you! We have to get down somehow.” Erin called.

          WHAT? Brin was about to start screaming at Erin but Erin interrupted her thoughts.

          Positioning herself on the edge of the roof she gathered everyone’s attention. “Everyone! I’m off. Follow me if you will or stay if you might. I have the most advanced technology of all of you and I hold the best chance of returning you to your homes. But I am leaving now, so if you’re coming, I suggest you get a move on.” Said Erin, She held her chin high, smirked, briefly saluted, and tipped backward off the roof.

          Brin stood staring at the spot Erin had been a moment before, she heard Wen and Eltar murmur back and fourth for a moment before remembering the pond. Erin had jumped into the pond. Then, suddenly, Brin was IN the pond and just as quick, she was out of the pond and dry. Even though it was raining.

           

          And that’s where I am now.

          most of it didn’t make sense. She felt there was a power that she couldn’t see. Some thing like the thing that was keeping them dry even though it was raining. It had all started when Erin threw her of the roof.

          Brin growled deep in her throat, and glared at Erin. It was all she could do to not bite her. She walked away from the group a few yards and sat down. She wanted to run of. But Erin had said she could help her get home. Did she trust her? She already knew the answer.

          No

          But it seemed to be the only option..so she lay down.with her head resting on the ground. She watched the group.

          she felt like she had began to trust. Not a lot, but a little. And now she felt like she would never trust anyone again. But what about Ehud? She couldn’t picture him throwing anyone of a roof. Brin sighed.

          • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Jasmine.

          I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

          #121086
          Audra E. S.
          @backwardslivewriter

            Eltar looked kindly at the fox and knelt down in front of her. Poor Brin, she was trembling. (He’s in a war, so he’s had to deal with stuff like this) “Hey, hey, easy.. Breathe with me, okay? In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4. In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, in, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4..” He repeated the exercise with Brin until she calmed. “I’m sorry, Brin. My cousin is flamboyant with the use of her magic, and clearly did not take into account the fact that some of us do not have magic in our worlds and some have far different forms of it.”

            “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

            #121088
            Jasmine
            @jasmine

              Sorry! I didn’t see your post!

               

              I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

              #121090
              Rainy Emily
              @millennium

              Erin glared at Eltar but didn’t have time to move as he inflicted his witchcraft on her.

              “Please stop touching me!” Erin exclaimed. She wasn’t being touched exactly but she didn’t like the way the “magic” felt.

              “Even in my world, I am rather powerful. Please don’t test me. I was fighting in a war shortly before I came here, and am commander of the Dragon Rangers. My cousin and I can react swiftly and easily to all challenges you may give us. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to attempt to communicate with the sentient lands we seem to be trapped in.” Eltar stepped away and Erin watched him consult the fox.

              She clenched her fists and tried not to display any emotion. Leaders can’t act angry, uncertain, or frightened. She revised. Otherwise no one will follow youStay passive. 

              She stalked away, consulting her holomap for directions. She was done here and decided it was best to leave these people to their fate than take them with her after all.

              Erin crept silently away into the undergrowth, hoping no one would follow her.

              Obviously, they’d know she’d be missing. She had been acting in charge half the time so how could they not notice her?

              Nevertheless, she was leaving. Forever.

               

               

              I’m ready to send Erin home. I’ve worked with her a lot here and elsewhere and I know her well enough that she doesn’t need anymore work. Maybe I could bring my villain in. He needs some development.

              Ten million fireflies

              #121093
              Audra E. S.
              @backwardslivewriter

                Ooh, go for it! I might switch out Wen and Eltar for Wen’s mother soon, too. I need to develop her(she’s an MC of the recently modified series-went from 1 to 2 to 3 and now to 4, a large portion of which shall be Ennune’s PoV). And um, it was Wen who did the magic. Not Eltar. Eltar just specializes in stealth, combat, and ice. Wen’s all over the place with hers.

                “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

                #121095
                Jasmine
                @jasmine

                  I might switch out Brin, but not yet. I look forward to seeing your guy’s new characters!
                   

                  p.s. Audra E. S. I didn’t mean to seem stuck up when I said “I hope  I know it will go well”. I don’t even know if you noticed.😛 it was just one of those little things that keep nagging me in the back of my mind.

                  • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Jasmine.

                  I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

                  #121141
                  Audra E. S.
                  @backwardslivewriter

                    I didn’t think you meant anything by it. It just meant to me that another person was praying.

                    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

                    #121156
                    Cathy
                    @this-is-not-an-alien

                      @rusted-knight
                      I love how indignant Allen got when Erin threw Brin off the roof, he is sooo cute!

                      p.s. Audra E. S. I didn’t mean to seem stuck up when I said “I hope  I know it will go well”. I don’t even know if you noticed. it was just one of those little things that keep nagging me in the back of my mind.

                      You too! I overanalyze everything I say constantly too! I never knew how much I relied on non-verbal cues in conversation until I didn’t have them and now that I’m writing what I say I have to actually read what I’m saying and that’s nerve-racking! I wish I could bowl you over with a hug if we weren’t probably miles-long social distancing XD

                      Erin picked the fox up and threw her off the roof!! Ehud felt like he’d got a glimpse of his future and it was not pretty. He was sure he’d be the next lowest person on the totem pole she’d shove into something bad. Mr Fairy was buzzing around her indignantly but she held herself high
                      “Everyone! I’m off. Follow me if you will or stay if you might.” Ehud wasn’t really sure he wanted to follow her, father’s compass or not. “I have the most advanced technology of all of you and I hold the best chance of returning you to your homes. But I am leaving now, so if you’re coming, I suggest you get a move on.” Smirking, she saluted and dropped off the roof! With a yelp, Ehud dashed over to grab her hand or something.
                      The next second he was on the ground beside a gurgling pool. He flinched and glanced around, luckily everyone was still there. He hated this castle so much, he hated being teleported, he hated being too sleepy to think logically now, he hated being trapped with a bunch of smug, ruthless people. But he didn’t mind being dry.
                      Wen yanked Erin out and showed off her magic abilities further by spontaneously vanishing all the mud and damp off of her, continuing with a menacingly a-matter-of-fact voice.
                      “Even in my world, I am rather powerful. Please don’t test me. I was fighting in a war shortly before I came here, and am commander of the Dragon Rangers. My cousin and I can react swiftly and easily to all challenges you may give us.”
                      “Some animals actually spit on each other to express dominance,” Ehud remarked in a voice he thought was soft enough to avoid most detection. He sank his chin into his hands, stifled a yawn and decided it was better not to mention other animals actually urinate each other in conquest for the title of alpha.
                      “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to attempt to communicate with the sentient lands we seem to be trapped in.” Wen-Trust-Me-I’m-Better-Than-You promptly sat down and zoned out of everything and Erin crept off but he wasn’t sure if he should follow her or not.
                      There was no way he was going to survive all these people pouncing each other like a group of baboons, especially seeing at he’d probably be their first pawn in any danger. Completely helpless, Ehud clenched his knuckles until they turned white and dug so hard into his cheeks that his jaw hurt. So, the plan; he obviously couldn’t strike off on his own, but he was fairly confident Colma wouldn’t use him, the fairy was pretty cool, and he didn’t think the fox would hurt him. But he didn’t really think they’d go with him anywhere if it could be avoided and also any plan he was going to make was going to have to wait until he got some sleep.
                      Wen’s cousin El-Star was bending over the fox who shook violently so Ehud jumped up in case he was going to try some spell on the poor thing.
                      “Hey, hey, easy…breathe with me, okay?” Eltar soothed. It didn’t seem like a trap, Ehud watched very carefully. “In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4…”
                      Sometimes a couple soldiers would come through his town after one of the battles and he’d seen them using breathing techniques to calm people down after the bombings. Even Rosario tried that with Ehud once or twice, enough times he’d memorized how to do it for himself. It was something familiar and safe and repetitive and it reminded him of home. He tried to picture a safe place in his mind, like Rosario had taught him and pretended he was on the Bridge overlooking the whole of sky island and he could see the flower shop and Ghoen’s bar and all the other houses.
                      “I’m sorry, Brin. My cousin is flamboyant with the use of her magic, and clearly did not take into account the fact that some of us do not have magic in our worlds and some have far different forms of it.”
                      So it was, in fact, magic and not super advanced technology. Ehud wasn’t even surprised anymore, but he decided he could live with Eltar being the leader. At least, between the choices Ehud had, he seemed like the one least likely to gut him if he didn’t obey commands. So he dropped to his knees beside the Mr Wizard.
                      “Is the fox…”–What had he called her?–“is Brin gonna be ok?”
                      Eltar nodded and Ehud let out a relieved breath. At home he’d seen some people who didn’t recover from trauma and spent the rest of their lives staring at something that didn’t exist anymore. Brin didn’t like being pet but Ehud scratched her ear anyway.
                      “Before you guys got here we found some writing in the castle that said we’d be tested, we also found a buncha books…if that helps.” Ehud pulled out the picture book he’d taken and tenitively set it in front of Eltar. It was pretty obvious they’d all need somebody to take charge, probably someone who wouldn’t rub all these highly assertive people the wrong way.
                      “Does the rain blocking…thing…how long can you maintain it? Should we looking for a cave or something?” Ehud rubbed his eyes and yawned, mechanically stroking the fuzzy fox. “If Wen can talk to Castle Lord can you see if where’s fish minds in the pool and I’ll catch ‘em?”
                      He blinked drowsily several times, pretty sure he’s jumbled his words again but he can’t figure out how. Wrapping his arms around Brin, Ehud tried very hard to will his eyes into staying open and ended up yawning. Then he realized Eltar was saying something in reply.
                      “I’m awake!”

                      Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

                      #121197
                      Jasmine
                      @jasmine

                        You too! I overanalyze everything I say constantly too! I never knew how much I relied on non-verbal cues in conversation until I didn’t have them and now that I’m writing what I say I have to actually read what I’m saying and that’s nerve-racking! I wish I could bowl you over with a hug if we weren’t probably miles-long social distancing

                         

                        HA! It’s so funny when you realize someone had something in common with you when you thought you where crazy for being that way. I love it!

                         

                         

                         

                        “I’m awake!” Cried Ehud.

                        Brin jumped. Wait, had she been sleeping? Eltar had come over and soothed her and Ehud joined them then…yes she had fallen asleep.

                        Why was everybody comforting her? Ehud had on the roof, Eltar had just now, then Ehud again.

                        It’s because I’m fuzzy, isn’t it?

                        Darn fuzziness. In the forest no one paid attention to her unless she was trying to steal their meal or vice versa, or unless they where trying to eat her or vice versa. The last time some one had comforted her was when she was a kit.

                        “Uhh…thanks.” Brin said standing and shaking herself. ” Is … anyone else hungry? I’m starving. “

                        I AM afraid. I'm glad that I am. That tells me I need to be brave. ~W.M.

                        #121202
                        Cathy
                        @this-is-not-an-alien

                          @jasmine
                          I know right! I’ve always been trying to suppress my emotions but then when I started talking to people they’d admit the exact same things I was trying to hide so like…it’s actually fairly common and I never knew itXD!

                          Well everybody I’m not sure if I’ll be able to update a lot this week with my brother’s surgery (btw, it’s been going pretty good so fair thanks so much for all you’re prayers and support). That and a hurricane knocked out the power earlier soo…It’d be great if Ehud just fell asleep on somebody for a while, incidentally he drools in his sleep
                          thanks ya’ll. bye i guess

                          Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

                          #121203
                          Rainy Emily
                          @millennium

                          Erin’s story with us ends here. She returned to her ship, reunited with her beloved crew, and returned to life.

                          And now we introduce a new character.

                           

                          Name: Kami Seim

                          Age: 27

                          Personality: Downright charming. He can make you feel safe, relaxed, and cared for. His tone is rich and he can entice you into doing many things for his self-gain yet you think you’re winning. He causes you to believe you can’t move on without him helping you, trapping you, and subjecting you to him.

                          Appearance: Auburn curly hair cut at his eyebrows. Bronze, enticing eyes, and pale skin. 5’4. Average build. Clothing is a long baby blue coat-tail coat, white blouse, grey waistcoat, black trousers, leather boots, and a knife at the hip hidden under his coat.

                          Everything about him is absolutely emaculate.

                          Ten million fireflies

                          #121211
                          Mischievous Thwapling
                          @mischievous-thwapling

                            @backwardslivewriter

                            HEY!! Good to see you on again! I missed you on here! Same with you, @millennium !


                            @rusted-knight

                            I’ll definitely be praying! I’m sorry that you have to go through that.


                            @this-is-not-an-alien

                            Awwww…. But that’s COMPLETELY understandable! I’m so glad that it’s been going well, and definitely on Ehud 😉


                            @millennium

                            Aw, I’m sad to see Erin go, but I’m super excited to meet (as much as I can “meet” a character) Kami!  He sounds so interesting.

                            Well, since we seem to be considering switching or actually switching characters, mind if I swap Colma out for a character(s) from a different story? (By that, I mean my actual WIP.  Colma’s story was something from a long time ago, and I just threw her in to see what she would do)

                            *thinks of five characters who need developing, but figures five would be entirely waaaaay too many people* *tries to narrow it down* Ok, I’ll have to think on who I want/need in here most, but I’ll get back to you on that 😉

                            Writing fantasy is the delicate art of making the unrealistic seem realistic.
                            ~Tom B.

                            #121360
                            Audra E. S.
                            @backwardslivewriter

                              Eltar’s PoV

                              Ehud dropped to his knees besides Eltar as Erin crept away. “Is the fox-is Brin going to be okay?”

                              Eltar nodded to the boy, keeping himself from touching the fox. He’d noticed that she disliked physical contact, but she hadn’t said anything to the others that kept touching her. Strong creature.

                              Ehud tentatively scratched Brin’s ear. “Before you guys got here we found some writing in the castle that said we’d be tested, we also found a buncha books…if that helps.” He pulled out a small, bound book and gingerly placed it on the grass.

                              Eltar nodded gratefully. Information was priceless.

                              Ehud yawned, mechanically stroking Brin. “Does the rain blocking…thing…how long can you maintain it? Should we looking for a cave or something? If Wen can talk to Castle Lord can you see if where’s fish minds in the pool and I’ll catch ‘em?”

                              Eltar smiled at the drowsily blinking boy. “Wen can keep up the shield for a day or so. Some shelter might be good, though. And yes, I could sense out some fish, but it would be easier to pull them out.”

                              Ehud looked tiredly at him and his eyes snapped open. “I’m awake!!” he cried, causing Brin to jolt up onto her feet, where she swayed in exhaustion.

                              “Uhh…thanks.” Brin said, shaking herself.  “Is … anyone else hungry? I’m starving.”

                              Eltar smiled at the small ones. “I do believe some food might be in order. Luckily for us, there are fish in the lake.” He waved his hand, and a fish for every member of the party gently slid out and in front of each, cooking and descaling as they went into a freshly grown patch of lettuce that instantly cut itself from the ground. Eltar grinned tiredly, sitting back. “It’s harder for me to access all areas of magic like Wen does, since I am only an elf, no matter how strong I am. Wen is a halfen, and naturally can access all aspects of energy, which is all that magic is, really. Using our energy to access certain aspects of energy. Most people can only access a few aspects very easily, and reaching out to others drains more energy than an equal task in an area you have practiced in or hold a natural aptitude to. Wen holds a natural aptitude in all areas, as a halfen and the daughter of two strong mages. Halfen are naturally stronger than elves or humans, and magical strength passes down through bloodlines. I am just an elf, albeit with two strong parents, so I can only easily access combat, stealth, telepathy, telekinesis, and ice.” The grass under his feet frosted over as he spoke.

                              “Combat and stealth are not my natural aptitudes, however. And Wen.. No matter how abrasive she seems, she does care. She only is rough and harsh to frighten people off and make herself seem stronger. Magic is tricky and involves focus. If all of you attacked us at once, Wen and I wouldn’t be able to defeat you.. She’s had a hard life. Her mother died trying to save her and her older brother from my father. ‘King’ Elawr distrusts and hates all halfen,” Eltar said slowly, “and captured Wen despite Queen Enunne’s attempt. Wen was tortured from the age of two to when I helped her escape at twelve. I taught her to warp-the very act that killed her mother by the fact that she didn’t have enough energy to unnaturally warp her two young children across the country to their home. Wen, however, naturally picked it up, and warped a great distance to where her fiance, a human former asassin by the name of Aernus, found her. She met the royal family of Were and was accepted as a bodyguard and companion to the human princess and heir Mian. My wish[mewi(may-we)].” Eltar said softly in the ancient Elunian tongue, picturing his fierce warrior princess. “Wen became more than a simple companion to Mian. She became Mian’s best friend. And then they were sent to Avarya, the land of the dragons where Wen originally came from. Where her older brother was. They were going to his coronation. But Wen didn’t know that the soon-to-be King We(way, I’m weird and came up with a whole language where every word’s a syllable) was her brother. I had only recently learned of this relationship when I came to Avarya and noticed We’s hair and eyes. They were just like Wen’s. I put things together that day, and retreated into my snobbish shell to put him off as I tried to comprehend all this. I had already deduced long ago that my father had killed his twin. But I hadn’t realized..” Eltar trailed off and looked sadly at his little cousin(she’s seriously small after ten years of malnutririon and only six of actually being cared for). “When I arrived early to We’s coronation, I was able to get a moment to speak to him alone. I told him everything I knew. And then Wen and Mian arrived. I told We who she was as soon as I recognized her, and tried to get a moment alone to explain everything to her.” Eltar snorted fondly. “She tried to kill me before I could explain. That habit of ‘kill first, ask later’, has thankfully been squashed. We discovered that their father might yet be alive, when Wen and We’s minds melded. Since then, we’ve been helping Wen get a handle on her powers and fighting to dethrone my father. Even if my uncle is dead, Wen, not my father, was the rightful heir to the throne of Ibia.”

                              “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”-Dumbledore

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                            Get our Evoking Reader Empathy e-book to discover how successful authors build empathy.

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