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This week’s topic is about how to handle critiques and criticism. I think you will find it helpful. It was written for Maddie.

Letting others see our work is probably one of the hardest parts of being a writer. That’s our heart and soul out there at the mercy of prying eyes.

It’s probably one of the most essential parts of writing though.

Without sharing our writing, there is no way we can improve to the full level of our capabilities. We’ll just never be able to see all of the problems on our own. We need those extra pairs of eyes.

Sharing comes in many different forms. Alpha readers are some of the earliest readers you’ll have, usually reading along as you write. Beta readers come along after you’ve worked out a couple of drafts. Critique partners can be all along the writing journey, and finally writers may make it to agents, editors, publishers, and then book readers.

Amidst all those different readers, it is inevitable that you are going to get critiques, and even outright criticism. Some people just aren’t going to like your story.

If all of this misery is necessary, how do we prepare ourselves to handle it, and how can we find the good in it?

1. Expect it. I have beta read for several young writers, and even though I point out every good thing they have going, they still tend to seem genuinely surprised when I also point out the bad. That’s not the way to be. Critique can feel like a slap in the face anyway, but if you send off your paper baby thinking it’s perfect, critique will hit you so much harder. Know your story isn’t perfect. No ones is. That’s ok. You’re giving it to others so you can improve upon it. So be ready to hear what they say.

2. Give yourself time to stew. Sometimes criticism can be harsher than necessary, or the prospect of changing all of the alleged issues can just seem overwhelming. When you get feedback on an unpublished story read it, and then close it all down. Shut off the computer and go get some air. Don’t analyze. If you’re angry, hurt, frustrated, etc. take time to work through those emotions and get them out. Emotion is a normal part of being human and you need to allow yourself to go through the “grieving process” of feedback if you’re going to be able to tackle it with an open mind in the future.

3. Keep an open mind. Most people aren’t out to be mean to you. There are definitely trolls on Amazon reviews, but probably 90% of people are genuinely telling you their honest thoughts in hopes of helping you. Don’t write off any advice as wrong. No matter how outlandish, or terrible it sounds at first. Look at it with a calm mindset and decide if there is any validity. If it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with your story, perhaps you miscommunicated something in your writing that needs cleared up. That’s not to say you have to implement every critique you receive, but give it a fair look before discarding it. Your readers could very well be on to something you never thought of. If your book is already published, then you won’t be able to do much about the criticisms, but maybe you can gain some knowledge from it to carry into your next project. Writers need to always be learning.

4. Safety in numbers. One person might totally miss the point of your story. But if you’re consistently getting the same feedback—say from at least three people—pay heed. Multiple people having the same issue with your writing are not the exception, they are the rule.

5. Say thank you. No matter how hard you take the feedback, always thank your readers for it. They took time out of their busy lives to read your book in whatever form, and that is valuable no matter what they thought of it. More than writers, we are children of God. We need to stay kind, considerate, and humble.

Do you have an easy or hard time sharing your writing with others? Do you have any specific ways you deal with critiques? Let’s talk!

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