Dakota

You know, @anne_the_noob14, yesterday I listened a sermon on Proverbs 31. The pastor said that trought that poem God himself was praising godly women. So we his children could/should imitate him on doing that. I think it’s something you did here (and, I belive, I may try too).

@candide She’s awesome 🙂

Thank you!

@sam-m

Thanks! And yes! I read a few poems like that recently which is kinda what inspired me to write this one 🙂

@eitan

Thank you! 😀

Beautiful! I can’t add anything beyond what have been already said 🙂

Great poem, Livi! I feel like it can be easy to ignore the challenges and integrity in other people’s lives and I think it’s really cool when people use a form of art (like poetry) to highlight the heroism in others.

What a incredible mother you have!

I enjoyed the descriptions. I could feel being tired too.

@writergirl101

Oh wow, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ll be sure to tag you when I post anything else in the future. 🙂

@kristianne-hassman

Glad to help!  I like your style–it was easy to follow.  I’d love to read anything else you post!

@taylorclogston

Thank you for reading it and for your suggestions. You brought up some good points that I will definitely consider. As for the ending, I personally prefer when stories have some sort of closure rather than ending abruptly. I can see what you mean about the angel part not being necessary. I don’t think I’ll take it out completely,…[Read more]

@writergirl101

Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and give suggestions! I really appreciate it. I will think about how to rephrase those sentences. 🙂

I agree with Ella about the close repeats and formatting.

All I “know” of operating rooms comes from TV, so please be patient =P First, would anyone bother thinking or saying “ECG machine” instead of just “ECG?” Second, would the MC be required to formally call time of death, or is that just a TV thing?

Why is this the patient who gets to the…[Read more]

Sorry, the quotes didn’t work.

@kristianne-hassman

Wow!  That was amazing!  I only spotted a couple of things that won’t take long to fix.

Kristianne Hassman wrote:
Breathe, I tell myself. In and out. In and out. My heart calms and I lean back, closing my eyes.
Maybe you could use italics to distinguish her thoughts for readability’s sake.  If you decide to do that, then ma…[Read more]

@kristianne-hassman

Wow!  That was amazing!  I only spotted a couple of things that won’t take long to fix.

Maybe you could use italics to distinguish her thoughts for readability’s sake.  If you decide to do that, then maybe you could scan the manuscript and italicize her other thoughts for consistency.

Maybe a synonym here?

Again, re…[Read more]

@kristianne-hassman

Wow!  That was amazing!  There were only a couple of things I noticed.

Maybe you could you italics just to make her thoughts clearer.  I think the readability would be easier.

There are two “help” words in this, so, for readability’s sake, consider using a synonym for one or the other.

I know this leads the reader on…[Read more]

I’ll read and have critique by today or tomorrow.

For future reference I suggest posting a Google Drive or similar link so you can take your story down after you’ve received advice. You don’t have any ability to delete or edit an SE post after a short initial period.