Beth Darlene

Oh oops. I just realized I started spelling Aydin’s name wrong at some point…

Niarok

As Niarok took a step towards Aydin, he saw a spark of anger and hatred in the man’s eyes, something he’d never seen before.

He stopped.

He needed to think this through. Aydin either had some completely unknown reason for hating Niarok and just hadn’t shown…[Read more]

@emily-waldorf

I’m gonna have the castle air some more dirty laundry and call out Quin as a murderer. Shall I include Yila, or…?

Oh, yes please! She’s going to throw a fit!!! Actually, I realize I have no clue how she’s going to react now that I think about it so… now I’m curious…

@rose-colored-fancy

Also, I’m so sorry, poor Niarok. Aydin…

[Read more]

“Don’t give up now.” Alessio whispered, his voice husky.

Nithel cleared his throat silently, feeling the pressure of Alessio’s hand on his shoulder. Like a friend. Were they friends?

Nithel trembled inside. How he wanted his wife in his arms again. To weep with her. For her to caress him, and tell him that though things would change, she would…[Read more]

@emily-waldorf 😊 I’m glad you do

Erm … I believe it was Rúan’s right leg, since he was able to hold his sword without pain (he’s a lefty), but I’m not sure if I mentioned which leg or not.

Let’s just assume it’s his right. 😅

@mamaauthoress–ofc! I understand. If it’s all moved on, Quin and I can catch up later. 🙂 He has some trauma at sight of Ruan’s leg, b/c his own was maimed just ten months ago. Btw, which leg of Ruan’s is injured?

(@emily-waldorf that’s perfectly fine! 🙂)

(Due to the fast-pacing of this roleplay, however, if there is activity while you are gone, I might have to move past this idea to keep up with the story. Please don’t have hard feelings if you come back and the story has moved on. 😬😅 Most of this is beyond my power)

Re: Cussing in books

I generally gauge the use of coarse language by Ephesians 4:29,

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

This precludes cusswords 99% of the time, because it’s extremely rare that they’re useful for edification. However, I do think that…[Read more]

(Quin can come over and say Hi, but I don’t think I’ll have time today.)

The chatter from the others was indistinct to Rúan’s ears as he tried to forcibly turn and twist his mind into understanding.

That, however, resulted in a migraine so harsh that his consciousness wavered for a beat.

Because he was frustrated that his reasoning kept hitting dead ends, his hair fwoom!ed again, and the unpleasant smell of smoke b…[Read more]

@rose-colored-fancy

that was cool, though, even if it was dark.

@denali-christianson

I’m gonna have the castle air some more dirty laundry and call out Quin as a murderer. Shall I include Yila, or…?

@rusted-knight  nice work, hauling off and shouting at them all. It really relieves tension, sometimes!

@Calidris

That was sad!!

@denali-Christianson

Thanks so much! I get what your saying about his thoughts. I guess I do intend to portray him at first as more of a juvenile adult with no real experience, but I can see that perhaps I could tweak it.

I’ll get on those adverbs, and do my best to clean it up, but thanks again! I’m glad you all liked it

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh I wanna post soooo bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But.

I have to do other things.

I shall return in approximately six or seven hours. XD

@this-is-not-an-alien

I know you’re reading these and I’m warning you now, you have too much background context and you’re going to spoil yourself if you read all of this post. You have been warned!! I’ll put in a warning when it starts.

Aydin

They knew. It was all over.

Yila was glaring at me, not with the general dislike of earlier, but with…[Read more]

@denali-christianson

*screams extremely loudly and collapses to the floor in a fiery heap*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH rose-colored-fancy YOU’VE KILLED ME INSIDEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My one and only goal XD

BUT OHMYGOODNESS HOW DO YOU ALWAYS SURPASS EXPECTATIONS BY THAT MUCH????? THAT’S THE GREATEST!!!!!

Oh, t…[Read more]

@crazywriter

Wow. I’m like… shocked. I mean, first of all, you writing has improved astronomically from the Wingfeather forum. It’s like blossomed and… wow.

Your descriptions were so beautiful. It was like reading a modern edition of Tolkien. For once, I don’t feel like I have to tell you to cut back. While the descriptions were dense, it…[Read more]

I’m very late, but after this last post I knew I had to rejoin the chaos lol

Basil:

Talking castle, huh. 

“I’ve been thinking about the next challenge, and it occurred to me that several of you are particularly well suited to it. Our resident assassins.”

Oh great.  So there’s assassins.

“Lorcan–”

Basil raised his eyebrows.  Mmm that one’s no…[Read more]

Erm… nope. Looks like the internet boogies got your snippet so I only read it on email and then deleted it. XD I do remember that you seemed to use “quickly” quite a bit… if you go to where you wrote it down and use the command Ctrl+F, it’ll pull up a bar and you can search for words or letters in your document. Depending on the size, just…[Read more]

Okay, that’s helpful! Any particular one? I’m not too good with adverbs, so any help with them is sorely needed

*nods fervently with everything you’re saying*

(Great first chapter, Peter!! I love your style. One tip I’d have would be to limit your use of adverbs – find ones that you can replace them and their verb with a stronger verb. 😉 Can’t wait to learn more!!)