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Fantasy Writers

Is anyone interested in collaborating on a story?

Viewing 15 posts - 196 through 210 (of 622 total)
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  • #118413
    Brooke
    @wingiby-iggiby

      @melodyjoy   @joelle-stone   @winter-rose

      This is Andor’s backstory revised. Let me know your thoughts! 😉

      BACKSTORY OF ANDOR

      Andor was born on the planet of Mortar, to a wealthy family much renowned in that region for their kindness and generosity. He grew up among servants and lush gardens and fancy rooms. He grew up with his every need met on the double, and he had dozens of friends. He had everything a boy could wish for — and more. His parents raised him to be kind, to be loving, and to help others less fortunate in all the ways he could. Young Andor would often stop on a walk with his mother to give some of his own pocket money to a blind beggar.

      But when he was eleven-years old, his parents were brutally murdered before his very eyes. A man with a mask attacked his father and slit his throat with a knife. And then his pregnant mother was stabbed to death while he watched in horror. Andor screamed as the murderer approached him; but the police had been alerted and the masked-man had to escape. He had been hired by a gang to do away with the do-goodies; but he hadn’t been able to finish his job.

      Andor, at eleven years of age, became the owner of a very large estate and an enormous inheritance. His parents had left everything to him. His nanny cared for him until he turned fifteen, and by then he was a fine young gentleman.

      He attended college at that same age, and there met Mary-Lain. When he graduated, he waited until he was old enough and married her. His father’s business was flourishing under his guidance, and he was earning almost twice as much money. He had a young son, who he named Drake. He loved that boy with all his heart.

      And then, Mary-Lain and Drake died in a staged car-accident meant to assassinate a governor. Andor was heart broken. Suddenly, all the love and purpose he had in his life was taken from him for the second time.

      But it only served to drive him harder to another purpose.

      Andor vowed to cleanse the world of all wrong-doers and all pain and suffering. He started buying up more and more business so he could gain an influential position as top business man in Mortar. Soon, however, he became one of the leading men in the world as his business grew and grew. But Andor remained humble. He only wanted power so he could use it to other’s advantage. He remembered what his parents had taught him; “there will always be those in need. Help them.” But Andor would make it so that no one would be in need. And that meant getting rid of crime first.

      Everytime he looked at a photo of his parents or his beloved wife and child, his vigor was renewed. Andor recruited the “whatever we are calling the Jedi Police” to his cause, and paid them to inspect every person’s background in Mortar. He was now president of Mortar. Andor would start with cleansing his home planet, and then he would work on the rest of the galaxy.

      He heard about the Cullings, and decided he could get a position as judge on their board and work the games to his advantage. “It’ll just be doing what I have to; to do what is best for the people,” he told himself. And he made himself believe it. He would take the winners, and make them into an anti-criminal team. They would travel the galaxy, eliminating deadly criminals and leading the “you know what I’m talking about” on their bad-guy purge.

      But what Andor wasn’t paying attention to was the fact that not all the thieves deserved death. Some baddies had bad backgrounds but had turned over new leaves. And some people just needed help, not imprisonment. Folks began to hate him, although he was trying to help.

      Andor grew more powerful by every passing day, and titled himself Neromiro Drake as a way of stating his position — for Andor was struggling with greed. He wanted to help people, but he also wanted more. He wanted more power, more strenge, more greatness. Whenever a man gets just a lick of this stuff, it’s enough to set his brain cells on fire. But when you get to take a whole bite, it can overtake you. Andor was battling with himself on a daily basis, and it was affecting the way he worked.

      But most of all, he just wanted to be loved.

      I light the arrow, pull the bow,
      Shoot that fire right through my soul.

      #118414
      Brooke
      @wingiby-iggiby

        @melody-joy  @joelle-stone  @winter-rose

        Here is Andors revised backstory. Let me know your thoughts! 😉

        BACKSTORY OF ANDOR

        Andor was born on the planet of Mortar, to a wealthy family much renowned in that region for their kindness and generosity. He grew up among servants and lush gardens and fancy rooms. He grew up with his every need met on the double, and he had dozens of friends. He had everything a boy could wish for — and more. His parents raised him to be kind, to be loving, and to help others less fortunate in all the ways he could. Young Andor would often stop on a walk with his mother to give some of his own pocket money to a blind beggar.

        But when he was eleven-years old, his parents were brutally murdered before his very eyes. A man with a mask attacked his father and slit his throat with a knife. And then his pregnant mother was stabbed to death while he watched in horror. Andor screamed as the murderer approached him; but the police had been alerted and the masked-man had to escape. He had been hired by a gang to do away with the do-goodies; but he hadn’t been able to finish his job.

        Andor, at eleven years of age, became the owner of a very large estate and an enormous inheritance. His parents had left everything to him. His nanny cared for him until he turned fifteen, and by then he was a fine young gentleman.

        He attended college at that same age, and there met Mary-Lain. When he graduated, he waited until he was old enough and married her. His father’s business was flourishing under his guidance, and he was earning almost twice as much money. He had a young son, who he named Drake. He loved that boy with all his heart.

        And then, Mary-Lain and Drake died in a staged car-accident meant to assassinate a governor. Andor was heart broken. Suddenly, all the love and purpose he had in his life was taken from him for the second time.

        But it only served to drive him harder to another purpose.

        Andor vowed to cleanse the world of all wrong-doers and all pain and suffering. He started buying up more and more business so he could gain an influential position as top business man in Mortar. Soon, however, he became one of the leading men in the world as his business grew and grew. But Andor remained humble. He only wanted power so he could use it to other’s advantage. He remembered what his parents had taught him; “there will always be those in need. Help them.” But Andor would make it so that no one would be in need. And that meant getting rid of crime first.

        Everytime he looked at a photo of his parents or his beloved wife and child, his vigor was renewed. Andor recruited the “whatever we are calling the Jedi Police” to his cause, and paid them to inspect every person’s background in Mortar. He was now president of Mortar. Andor would start with cleansing his home planet, and then he would work on the rest of the galaxy.

        He heard about the Cullings, and decided he could get a position as judge on their board and work the games to his advantage. “It’ll just be doing what I have to; to do what is best for the people,” he told himself. And he made himself believe it. He would take the winners, and make them into an anti-criminal team. They would travel the galaxy, eliminating deadly criminals and leading the “you know what I’m talking about” on their bad-guy purge.

        But what Andor wasn’t paying attention to was the fact that not all the thieves deserved death. Some baddies had bad backgrounds but had turned over new leaves. And some people just needed help, not imprisonment. Folks began to hate him, although he was trying to help.

        Andor grew more powerful by every passing day, and titled himself Neromiro Drake as a way of stating his position — for Andor was struggling with greed. He wanted to help people, but he also wanted more. He wanted more power, more strenge, more greatness. Whenever a man gets just a lick of this stuff, it’s enough to set his brain cells on fire. But when you get to take a whole bite, it can overtake you. Andor was battling with himself on a daily basis, and it was affecting the way he worked.

        But most of all, he just wanted to be loved.

         

         

        • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Brooke.

        I light the arrow, pull the bow,
        Shoot that fire right through my soul.

        #118416
        Brooke
        @wingiby-iggiby

          Ok….. I just posted twice. Dear me. Sorry about that! And not all of the tags worked either… *sigh*


          @winter_rose

          I light the arrow, pull the bow,
          Shoot that fire right through my soul.

          #118417
          Joelle Stone
          @joelle-stone

            @wingiby-iggiby,

            Cool ideas! And I’m totally good with character development, and Mel & Rose doing plot and planet development, and the Blurter. Please tell her that I love her title and appreciate all that she does, and also that I understand her business.

            Ok, I’m all for the ideas with animals and all that. I’ll try and find some time to match biomes to games, and make up a few other characters. 🙂

            #118463
            Brooke
            @wingiby-iggiby

              @joelle-stone

              Thanks! 😀

              Contacting the Blurter now….

              Okay, she says thank you so much! She is so thankful that you and Mel and Rose are willing to do a bunch of the developing because while she likes to do it, and work it out in her head, she has not the patience to type it all out.

               

              I light the arrow, pull the bow,
              Shoot that fire right through my soul.

              #118479
              Joelle Stone
              @joelle-stone

                Wing,

                Lol! 🙂

                #118482
                Joelle Stone
                @joelle-stone

                  My Judge Idea:

                  Aleena Quartez is a woman with keen perception and a strict, no-nonsense way about her. These qualities made her an excellent contestant for Judge. Of course, she won.

                  Aleena is from the planet of Contar, a mostly mountainous winterland with a few cold deserts and warmer plains scattered here and there. (Since I’m a terrible world-builder and I don’t really like it, that’s all I’m going to say.)

                  With jet black hair and dark skin, Aleena stood out from her fellow Contarians, with their curly auburn hair and fair skin. Her eyes, a dark green, were like most Contarians, but stand out shockingly against her skin and hair.

                  Aleena has always been proud of her skill as a healer. Although she is tall and stern-looking, she has a soft heart and gentle tongue. She values good sportsmanship and honesty above all else, but is a fair Judge.

                  gtg, that’s all I’ve got for now.

                  #118483
                  Mel
                  @melodyjoy

                    @joelle-stone


                    @wingiby-iggiby

                    @The-Blurter

                    @winter-rose

                    So, Winter Rose, I liked all the ideas for the games!

                    I was talking with a friend about **quote on quote** “the awesome SE collaborative story that I am doing with a bunch of totally awesome people” and she said this: The individual games should demonstrate a particular characteristic or quality that you need to rule that branch of government. I thought it was a super cool idea, so I wrote it down (because I can’t remember what goes through my brain if I don’t write it down :)) Do you think that’s cool? I do. 🙂

                    Another thought to add onto this, could a player potentially win last in the game, but because they performed well the judges eliminated a different player that won a higher place but played poorly?

                    To quote somebody a super long time ago, Messa’s dum-dum brain doesn’t understand… Please explain, sounds like a cool idea though. 😛

                    Hey, Wingiby, I was thinking in my brain, as was the Blurter apparently, and she was thinking about how her school is starting VERY soon and she won’t have time anymore. **me you, same page** **cries, wails, sobs** **realizes she is being over dramatic and needs to stop using asterisks NOW**

                    Glad your planet development is coming along!

                    She wants to know if there could be warriors like Jedi, but that don’t have any political influence. They are sorta just like state police, if you take her meaning. And they have lightsabers. Neromiro Drake decided to get them together to form his guard that is investigating the backrounds of suspects. So they are corrupt, and the “state police Jedi warrior people guys” end up being bad guys.

                    Yes, great idea, and the ideas for their name are good too. And if we ever publish this, we’ll want to make sure that we’re not stealing their idea. Robes and lightsabers are SO cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Am I stealing the exclamation thingy? Sorry… I love those!)

                    I was thinking the creature that Ronnie-Kix would battle would be *giggles* a hamster. You’ll get it when you read it. *more giggling thinking about how ridiculas and obnoxious that sounds*

                    **Mom: why are you laughing?

                    **Me: Ummm, some awesome person on SE is giggling and it’s hilarious.

                    LOL

                    Backstory of Andor is perfect, thanks! Shall post immediately!

                    Joelle, love your judge. Also, it’s good that she’s a girl!

                    Have we developed the 3 main judges yet? Those go over everything and then we have a few for each of the games. Am I right?

                    EVERYBODY:

                    So, the planet that the Cullings are based out of, I named it Ureka2 because Ureka (really spelled Eureka) means “I have found it”

                    Thought before I continue on: My friend that I was talking with told me that Some planet’s moon is named Eureka2… She’s so smart! I wanted to scream. I think we should leave it tho. I like it.

                    and I had that because since everyone is SO rich and wealthy there on that planet, they think they have found fulfillment for their lives, I was thinking, to counteract that, that Andor should destroy the whole planet of Ureka2 near the end of the book, and we should incorporate something about how they ended up not having happiness and fulfillment. I thought it was cool. We obviously would have to develop it more tho.

                    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (just cause)
                    MELODY

                    Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

                    #118485
                    Mel
                    @melodyjoy

                      Sorry your tag didn’t work. (cause I did it wrong)


                      @winter_rose

                      So, actually I won’t post the revised backstory of Andor just yet because we still need the Jedi people name.

                      I will post the games after we have developed them more, have the terrains for them, and somebody **ahem** develops some hamster they’re going to fight against. LOL

                      MELODY

                      Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

                      #118490
                      Winter Rose
                      @winter_rose

                        @melodyjoy

                        So, basically I was saying that even though a player won last, they don’t get eliminated because the Judge thinks that they played well. Sorry, I phrased that whole sentence kind of weird!

                        Also, the idea that each game should have an aspect of the government branch sounds great! I can work on integrating it into the games, or whoever picks a game to develop it can.

                        I only know of Andor as a High Judge so far, and is Aleena one? I have a few Judge ideas, so I’ll develop one further if we need a third.

                        What I know in my head and what I believe in my heart are two entirely different things.

                        #118496
                        Mel
                        @melodyjoy

                          @winter_rose

                          Yes, Andor is definitely a high judge, and since Aleena is the only other one developed so far, she can be one too. And we should have 3 high judges

                          Do you think we should have 1 or 2 for the judges that judge the individual games?

                          Even though a player won last, they don’t get eliminated because the Judge thinks that they played well

                          Yeah, Great!

                          Thanks for all the work you are doing on the individual games! Lifesaver! Can’t wait!

                          MEL

                          Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

                          #118506
                          Mel
                          @melodyjoy

                            EVERYBODY: So I talked to Daeus Lamb and he said that there was a time limit on how long after the post you could edit it. (Obviously, the button disappears LOL). So with the backstory of Andor, we would have to have 2. I am super detail oriented and that really annoys me… LOL. He said that he could edit it for us, but I wasn’t sure. I thought I’d ask you what you would prefer. ???

                            MELODY

                            P.S. We’re not on a time crunch tho, we still need the Jedi People name before that is posted 🙂

                            Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

                            #118507
                            Brooke
                            @wingiby-iggiby

                              @joelle-stone

                              Aleena sounds like an AWESOME judge! I can literally see her in my head, LOL, which is sorta weird. I can also almost hear her sarcastic voice, just because I imagine her that way. Strange. Hm.

                              And– I was going to say more but I gtg. I’ll fill ya’ll in later with my numerous and confusing thoughts! 😛

                              I light the arrow, pull the bow,
                              Shoot that fire right through my soul.

                              #118508
                              Joelle Stone
                              @joelle-stone

                                @wingiby-iggiby,

                                Thanks! She could use some more work, though, so feel free to blurt out any of your ideas. 🙂

                                @Everybody

                                Love the developing, all of it! 🙂

                                #118559
                                Winter Rose
                                @winter_rose

                                  @melodyjoy @wingiby-iggiby @joelle-stone

                                  Here’s a High Judge idea I’ve come up with, please let me know if there’s anything you think I should change!

                                  Maxwort Jargaun, age 48

                                  He is very political and professional in almost all of his views, and is strictly by the book with no exceptions whatsoever. Having grown up in a high class and a modern, civilized country he is very used to being obeyed and respected.

                                  He has pale, sallow skin and brown, graying hair. His eyes are a dull shade of blue. His nearly always is found in a dark grey or black suit, and light grey if he is feeling cocky, which he rarely does. He often keeps a silver cane at his side, a parting gift from his older brother, the only piece he owns that holds some form of sentiment.

                                  With his cool and neutral demeanor he makes few friends and often estranges his co-workers from himself. The role of Judge appealed to him as a way to use his knowledge of (and strict adherence to) justice and fairness to influence the galaxy.

                                  What I know in my head and what I believe in my heart are two entirely different things.

                                Viewing 15 posts - 196 through 210 (of 622 total)
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