Character Castle 2.0
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Bwahahahaha no! I mean, no, I won’t tell you. ::D grins evilly.
p.s. She lives.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comMr.Trip Williams wrote:
I tried to pour everything you’d want in a big brother into him… which is an interesting dichotomy, since he’s my protagonist. =) Great job on the post!
Why is it a dichotomy? Don’t people like big-brother protagonists?Mr.Trip Williams wrote:
Oh, that’s awesome. I wouldn’t worry about considering it from a theological accuracy standpoint. the Bible is rife with analogies and metaphors. I think entering the heartbeat of eternity is an amazing way of putting it. I’ve actually done some personal study on whether someone enters eternity the moment they die or if they go into a dreamless sleep until the second coming and is then resurrected into eternity, and my ultimate conclusion was – it didn’t matter. A dreamless sleep passes without time being felt, so whether the dreamless sleep lasts a day or a thousand years, it would pass without any time being felt passed. So it either way, the perception of the soul would be that after death, eternal life began instantaneously… though that is just my take on it. I certainly could be wrong. So to say the heartbeat (which the heart is not just a physical organ but a metaphor for much of what the soul is) enters eternity is awesome. Or the heartbeat of eternity. A cool twist on the idea of life after death. It would be interesting to hear more about the heartbeat of eternity. =)
Thanks! I’m afraid I can’t tell you any more about the heartbeat of eternity, because it’s not something I’ve thought out, lol. I was reminded of one line in a poem by Rupert Brooke: [Bold]And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Glad you liked it!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comWow your chapter was so good! I feel like you got the hang of Daire too XD
I love love love Ku’aya already! Her thoughts on Lorcan were hilarious!!
Lorcan
The girl gave him a gracious smile. “I’m perfectly well, thank you.”
There was a long pause between them. “Daire told me your name was Lorcan.”
Lorcan rolled his eyes. Of course that idiot gave away his name before he had the chance to do it. The audacity!
“Mine is Isella,” she said almost shyly. “Oh, and thank you for—back there.” She pointed at the dead dragon.
Lorcan smiled slightly. “It’s not a problem. The other option was to just let you die, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
There was a slight tinge to her pretty face. A normal thing that occurred when he was around young women. He pushed the thought of Yila out of his mind. He couldn’t think about her. Not now.
He stared at the man who had just healed him. He was still on the ground, trying to catch his breath. Sweat beaded on his skin. A girl brandishing a quarter staff was eyeing Lorcan as if she was considering how she should go about taking him down.
He offered her a sardonic smile, letting her know that he knew exactly what she was thinking. He then looked at the man, eyes narrowing. “You’re the lad who healed me?”
The man looked back at him and gave a tired nod.
Lorcan watched him for a moment, trying to read this stranger who had saved his life. Then he smoothly crouched down so he was eye level with him. “Why?”
Maybe it was a bit of an obvious question, but he had to ask anyway. It was because of this man that he had a chance of getting back home again, back to his people. He owed him some form of gratitude.
Oh, thank goodness! She needs to live a life filled with joy and peace and…other good, wonderful things. XD
ENYDD
The shocked energy that had been flooding me suddenly drained away. I was stuck in a room with strangers from different worlds. From different worlds! And, clearly, I was the most defenseless of them all. I reached into my bag, clasping the rock. I traced my thumb over its familiar letters, my heart slowing. The situation wasn’t too bad. At least I was in good health, aside from the shock, and… Good health? The man that Abirami attacked!
“Oh, good one Enydd,” I muttered as I rushed to where he had fallen. “Chattering on and on while someone is literally dying. You really did it this time.”
Abirami was already kneeling over the injured man with a strange device in his hands. The girl who had created the glowing balls hovered nearby looking refreshed while another girl, green-skinned, stood over Abirami, a staff in her hands. Neither seemed concerned so I followed their example and waited.
Abirami placed the device on the man. Nothing happened. I shook my head and began to shuffle through my bag for my light cloak. I could use those as bandages. A whimper interrupted my search. It was Abirami. The injured man stirred, color returning to his face.
“Oh,” I gasped. The device was transferring the man’s wounds onto Abirami.
The man struggled and tried to pull away from Abirami but to no avail. The device would not let go until the transfer was complete.
My heart twisted as I watched Abirami writhe in pain yet there was nothing I could do except wait. Suddenly the stones on the device snapped back into place. Abirami collapsed.
“Yup, stupid,” the green-skinned girl smirked.
May stormed up. “What does everyone here have with fainting? Stop doing that,” she growled. She pressed her petticoats onto his wounds.
I pulled out my cloak. “Don’t do that. I have a…” I trailed off as May glowered at me. She turned her back, my help clearly rejected.
“Do you think I enjoy washing blood out of my clothes? I should just let you bleed out, you’re the one stupid enough to try to take on both at the same time,” she grumbled.
I sighed. People with “Trust no one except yourself” as their life rule were exasperating. Her mistrust was bound to land her in deep water sooner or later. I knew all too well where that attitude would get someone.
May stood, smoothing her dress. Abirami’s wounds were nearly gone. I frowned. How was that possible?
A bright tune wafted through the stale air. May froze then picked her skirts, racing forward. She flung her arms around a tall man.
I chuckled, her warm actions so different from her previous complaints. The man must be her brother. They shared the same blonde hair and eyes. Her brother surveyed the room with amusement. Good. He wasn’t like May. She needed to have someone she could trust who didn’t share her same bleak view on life.
I glanced back at Abirami. His wounds were nearly gone. Another good thing. I turned my attention to the green-skinned girl beside me. She was younger than I expected. Only a little older than Caius. She was intently watching the recently healed man. No, not watching. Analyzing. Analyzing for his strengths and weaknesses.
Impulsively, I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m Enydd Skovgaard. What’s your name,” I said cheerily.
She shrugged my hand off. Her eyes quickly flicked over me.
I nearly laughed. Me, a threat?
Why is it a dichotomy?
haha. sorry. dichotomy means two things that are in contrast. usually, big brother characters are side characters, not the main protagonist… though there are exceptions. so I just used dichotomy to highlight that although he is the protagonist, he is also the big brother character of the story.
The audacity!
haha. this made me laugh.
Abirami
Ku was standing over me, eyeing the man I’d healed with a wary glare.
Great. Ku wasn’t very trusting of strangers to begin with. If she doubted you to begin with… I just had to hope she wouldn’t do anything rash.
I could tell the bleeding had stopped, but the pain was nearly unbearable. It flashed with each breath. Memories of my past wounds came to mind, and I tried not to chuckle, since it increased the pain.
I’d had worse. Wasn’t that a sad thought.
My vision blurred in and out, but something moved in front of me, and I blinked to clear my vision.
The man I healed looked down at me. “You’re the lad who healed me?”
I nodded, slowly.
He kneeled down and looked me in the eye. His brow was furrowed. Had I done something wrong?
“Why?” he asked.
Oh. He’s confused. Perhaps he’s proud, or suspicious by nature, like Ku.
I tilted my head into a more comfortable position. Wasn’t it obvious?
“I… attacked you…” I strained out the words between breaths, trying to keep the pain to a minimum. “under false…” My vision blacked, but I fought to regain it. I needed to finish my answer. “I had to… fix my… wrong.”
The man turned to Isella. “The man’s delirious. Mi lady, may I ask what transpired while I was out?”
“He’s not delirious, you buffoon. The question is, why did he attack you?” Ku had her quarterstaff extended over me. “What did you do?”
My mind was working too slowly. The man thought I was delirious? Oh. The he hadn’t seen me transform. Of course. I cringed as I reached out my hand. I had no energy to spare, but I didn’t want to wait for his reply. Ku was typically rude, but I hadn’t the energy to intervene should things get out of hand.
Focusing with all my might, I tried to conjure the image, but the pain doubled, objecting to my efforts. I pushed through it, the veins in my neck throbbing. The hand came into view, and I quickly grabbed ahold of it. I felt my hand elongate, and I reached out and placed my transformed paw onto the man’s knee.
“No, no, no.”
Ku’Aya sounded worried, butI couldn’t think of a reason why. No matter.
The man turned and jumped backwards onto the ground upon seeing the aemirok’s paw stretching out from my arm.
“What devilry?”
The image broke, and my hand transformed back to normal.
“No!” Ku’s voice rose, echoing throughout the hall. “We must run. Now!
“What is this?” the man asked, picking himself up and brandishing his weapon.
“Why?” asked Isella, nearly at the same time.
Pain arced through my body as Ku grabbed under my arms and tried dragging me back.
“Ku-” I couldn’t speak, the pain was so bad.
“It’s coming. We have to leave, or we’ll be killed.”
“What is coming, foul creature?” someone asked. I could barely register the words, no less who said it. My vision worsened, but I fought to stay conscious through the pain. It felt like I was being dragged across a bed of nails.
“Shut up and listen to me.” Ku barked. “If you stay here, you will die. Could care less what you think of me, but…” Ku took a deep breath. “Please help me get Abirami to safety. Please.”
I felt small hands on my feet, and I rose off the ground, but whoever it was struggled to keep me aloft. “What is coming, and where should we take him?” Isella asked.
“I… I don’t know,” said Ku. I could hear the fear in her voice. “But at the rate my spies are dying, by the time whatever it is hits us, it’ll be too late.”
Ku’s voice muffled, and her voice projected away from me. “You all need to come too. Unless you want to die a most sudden death.”
I rocked back and forth as they moved me, and after the noise of a conversation faded, more hands joined in carrying me.
The pain was at least less than before, but I still fought to keep conscious.
“So where to?” asked Isella. “If it’s a sudden death, how do we escape it?”
I could sense Ku’s hesitation. “Up. We have to go up.”
“Up where?” asked a voice.
“Just follow me.”
[major plot twist. =) So…. my plan is, a misty, slightly purple, poisoned cloud is going to filter into the room we are presently in. The trap was triggered by Ku’Aya’s fly agents – accidentally, and it will flood the entire floor, so we must escape to the second floor, at least. Ku’Aya’s bugs, thankfully, have also found these stairs… only question is… will we be quick enough to escape the poisoned gas? And are there potential obstacles in the way of reaching the stairs? Have fun, and alter it as you see fit…]
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.
Impulsively, I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m Enydd Skovgaard. What’s your name,” I said cheerily. She shrugged my hand off. Her eyes quickly flicked over me. I nearly laughed. Me, a threat?
Haha! great job! that is such a Ku reaction. Sorry I didn’t include it in my post… I was writing my post while you were posting, so I didn’t see it until after I posted mine… hope that’s okay.
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G.K.C.
@jared-williams
That’s fine! And I’m glad I got Ku’aya’s reaction right. 🙂I’ll write Enydd’s reaction to the trap tomorrow. It should be fun. *evil grin*
ENYDD
A look of panic overtook the girl’s face. “No, no, no,” she whimpered, her eyes staring into the distance.
“Is everything all right?” I asked gently.
“No! We must run. Now!” she yelled.
I whirled around, expecting to see some hideous monster looming over us. There was no monster aside from the dead beasts. What was wrong?
The cloaked man (Lorcan) and glowing girl (Isella) stared at her confused as well.
“Ku-” Abirami gasped. He was awake.
“It’s coming. We have to leave, or we’ll be killed.” the girl, Ku, said urgently.
“What’s coming?” I pressed. I needed more information. There was no time for mystery.
“Shut up and listen to me.” Ku growled. “If you stay here, you will die. Could care less what you think of me, but…Please help me get Abirami to safety. Please.”
The girl (Isella) stooped over Abirami and lifted him up. “Where should we take him?” she grunted.
I swooped to her side. “Excuse me,” I said to the cloaked man. “A little help?”
He glowered back. “I will not touch…him,” he answered distastefully.
“Unbelievable,” I snorted. “How could…” I stopped myself. Letting my emotions drive me was not going to do anyone good. I turned to the girl. “Here, put one of his arms around your shoulders.”
I draped one of Abirami’s arms over my shoulders. “You’re going to have to do your best to walk,” I told him. He nodded his head.
“We have to go up,” Ku said as the girl and I struggled to support Abirami.
“Up where?” I said.
“Just…follow me.” She marched towards one of the doors and swung it open. There was a staircase spiraling into darkness above.
I laughed grimly. “This is a relief. I was worried we’d have to go up a ladder.” I sighed. “Do you think that you’ll be able to get up there,” I asked both to Abirami and to the girl.
Both nodded.
“Come on,” Ku snapped impatiently. “We don’t have all day.”
Together we stumbled up the first few steps. Ku watched us, worried. At this pace we would not be able to escape whatever it was.
“You!” She pointed to the armored man. “Help them. It’ll make it faster.”
The armored man stepped forward and swiftly swept Abirami up. The man draped Abirami’s limp form over his back and followed Ku who was racing up the stairs.
I rolled my shoulders then gathered my skirts and began my ascent.
Isella
She could feel herself blushing. Stupid thing to do. Lorcan’s quick eye glanced her up and down. He saw, and didn’t care. He treated it as something normal. Of course. He’s handsome enough he’s used to ladies blushing when he talks to them.
She cursed herself and blushed deeper with embarrassment, then tried to force the color out of her cheeks.The next instant she forgot about herself: a look had come across Lorcan’s face. A look like even talking with a young woman hurt him. In a flash the thought crossed her mind, There was someone.
Just as quickly she decided whoever it was was dead. The next instant she berated herself for jumping to conclusions. I don’t even know if that’s what his look meant.
But it did. she knew it, and like a sickening blow she realized that, whoever it was, she had felt her die. A sense of guilt, not unfamiliar to her, threatened to break her composure. She wanted to shout, “I didn’t do it!”–but everyone here would think she were crazy; nobody could understand. Only the Mirror could really know what she was feeling, and that had no mind or soul.
Lorcan was kneeling beside the man who had healed him, looking into his pain-twisted face with a look of cool wonder, asking him “Why?”.
the man tried to explain, but his words came in short gasps and it was evident they didn’t make sense to Lorcan. He stood up, shaking his head.
“For the same reason you saved me from the dragon.” she didn’t realize she’d spoken aloud until everyone looked at her. Then she shrugged. She couldn’t un-say it, and it was true anyway.
All at once the green girl started to panic. Everyone looked at her. She was telling them something, pleading with them to get away.
“Please help me get Abirami to safety. Please.”
Who’s Abira–oh.
She started tugging at the man on the floor. Instinctively, Isella dropped to her knees beside him and started to lift.Could a man be thrown across one’s shoulders as a wild boar or stag was? She thought so, but she was too small to lift a man of Abirami’s size, much less carry him.
Another girl glanced over at Lorcan. “A little help?”
Isella could see hesitation cross his face. a struggle between his pride and his sense of justice.The girl began to explode at the delay. Abirami was heavy, and he was sick, so he wasn’t giving us much help.
A thousand things flashed through her mind to say: If you don’t help, I’ll ask Daire to.
Would she want you to help?
And lastly just, please.
She didn’t say any of them, but watched him make up his own mind. At last he started forward and took the weight of Abirami’s left side from the girl who had asked. Daire started forward, intent on grabbing the same part of Abirami that Lorcan was carrying.
Oh no. She saw Lorcan stiffen at the sight of Daire. Isella called his name and he diverted–unwillingly enough–to her.
“Daire, you’re the only one here with water,” she didn’t know if it was true, but it might have been. “You stick close to us and make sure nobody is thirsty.” she could imagine what that would look like: Lorcan would never be without the offer of a drink. She sighed. It was the best she could do.
They reached the stairs, but there Isella stumbled. Abirami was heavy, and he was hardly walking anymore. Diare was at her side, asking if she needed a drink. From behind them the green girl snapped something. A moment later the man in armor took the weight of Abirami’s arm off her shoulder and they started up the stairs again. They hadn’t gone far when Abirami fainted again. for one instant Isella echoed May’s hot remark earlier.
What does everyone have with fainting? In the stress of that minute it made Isella chuckle.
without a word, with barely even a look, Lorcan and the armored man agreed, and Abirami was lifted between them and carried up the stairs faster than Isella could walk.
With one last warning, the green girl sprinted after Abirami. In an instant she was out of sight. Isella turned to see who was on the stairs. The girl who had helped her [Enydd] and May, but there was someone with May. Someone who looked so much like her that the relationship was plain.
brother. Isella had barely thought the word when, as unexpected as it was impossible to control, memories of her own brother flashed through her mind. She froze on the stairs, like a statue. She and he hunting together; riding as fast as their horses could gallop across the green hills, or running, laughing, through the rain. Him, helping her with the lessons that seemed so wooden and long; his face, the last time she had seen it–suddenly the memories broke off, with a shout from someone.
Isella stirred and looked around. Looming behind the stairs was a purplish cloud, moving faster than any cloud Isella had seen driven before the strongest wind.
It was almost to the foot of the stairs, where May and her brother were running. They couldn’t run fast enough. She glanced up the staircase. Daire was just disappearing after Lorcan into the shadows. They would be too late.
She looked back at May and her brother. Suddenly, May fell, her foot caught by a loose stone on the steps, that rolled into the purple menace that rose behind them.
Her brother turned at her cry and hurried back. The purple cloud reached May’s foot, and as soon as it had touched it, it was obscured from sight.
They were out of time.
Time! For a moment Isella hesitated. Abirami had taken her weariness,or she could never have dreamed of manipulating time twice. But there was something no healer could remove, and that was the pulse that battered her veins every second of every day. the pulse that connected her with time. She was already mentally exhausted from the first manipulation. She would be twice that if she did it again, as well as physically tired. Having stopped time for others, she would have none to escape herself.
It flashed through her mind in an instant, and the next instant she was leaning forward, concentrating.
she could feel the pull of Time. The pulse in her veins became more insistent, but she ignored it. Her fingertips began to glow; the power that ran through her veins, a power that her ancestors had lived and died with for generations began to work.
The pulsing became a throb. Light stood out from her hands, bouncing from finger to finger in her partially curled palms.
It was ready. She raised her hands just as the purple cloud reached May’s waist.
Time ground to a halt around them. The purple menace wavered and paused.
History, present, future–the whole weight of Time pressed against her, and she alone held it back. For an instant.
She sank to her knees on the steps; it couldn’t be much longer.
“Run.” The word boomed across the cave in the voice she used to call the hunting dogs, or to whistle Cirian across the acres of green hillside.
May and her brother staggered up, sick from the effects of the cloud. Isella prayed they could make it in time. [Enydd] hurried up to Isella as if she would put her hand on her shoulder. Isella didn’t know what disaster would happen if she did, so she risked a look. She met the girl’s big eyes. “Run!” she bit the word off.
May and [Halmar] were too slow. The cloud would overtake them as if they had never moved.
With one quick motion Isella took one hand from holding Time. The weight crashed against her left hand, threatening to buckle her elbow. Her right hand shot out, followed by a streak of white light, and hit them. She heard May gasp as Time took hold of them. Their stumbling steps soon passing even Lorcan and Abirami, farther up the stairs, as Time pursued them.
Her hands began to tremble, and near the roof the cloud began to move again. The trembling spread to her whole body, and turned to quaking. The throb was a hammering in her veins. She closed her eyes, wondering if she would feel the pulse of her own death.
At least I won’t feel May’s death and her brother’s. Because they wouldn’t happen. She would never again stand by and let a beloved brother be killed for the sake of secrecy when she could do something.
The pressure became unbearable. Her shaking hands shot away dragging her with them, onto her back on the stairs. The white light fizzled and went out, and Time reclaimed his seat, chafing at the delay.
As the purple cloud rushed over her, she could smell something acrid.
Nothing more.
@everyone whose characters I mentioned
Okay, so Idk how Isella escapes the effects of the cloud; if some of Ku’s bugs are immune and can help, or if her connection to Time does something…idk, but she’s not dead, just so you know.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comWow your chapter was so good! I feel like you got the hang of Daire too XD
Thanks! And YAYYAYAY. Poor Daire. he couldn’t have chosen a hero more reluctant to be worshiped.
Oh, thank goodness! She needs to live a life filled with joy and peace and…other good, wonderful things. XD
Mmm-hmm. And a certain someone… 🙂
haha. sorry. dichotomy means two things that are in contrast. usually, big brother characters are side characters, not the main protagonist… though there are exceptions. so I just used dichotomy to highlight that although he is the protagonist, he is also the big brother character of the story.
Well I know, but I don’t understand why people want big-brother SCs instead of MCs. Whatever *shruggs* they also don’t like adjectives or tropes, and I find them both immensely pleasing. (in moderation). And since I write for myself, I suppose I don’t have to listen to what’s selling. 😉 I have a major advantage, there, lol.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comOoooh, that was AWESOME!!! I can’t write a reply soon though 😭😭 I’ll try but probably not before Sunday.
Okay, so Idk how Isella escapes the effects of the cloud; if some of Ku’s bugs are immune and can help, or if her connection to Time does something…idk, but she’s not dead, just so you know.
If anyone wants to keep going until I resume, I’m pretty sure Hal will help her up. I think he just adopted another little sister XD
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
I don’t know if what happened back there was entirely clear so here’s a short of it:
Isella held time–and hence, the cloud–still for about a minute. Enydd ran up and was going to touch Issa, but that could result in disaster, so Isella told her to run. May and Halmar were able to get up, but they’re sick from getting so close to the cloud and can’t go fast enough, so Isella did two things with Time at once: with her left hand she held Time ( and also the cloud) at bay; with her right hand she sped Time up around May and Halmar to get them out of there quicker. She then resumed holding Time with both hands, but it’s too strong for her and she is thrown backward by it’s force as it rushes back to normal, bringing the cloud with it.
This is the situation as I envisioned it, without people editing the actions of their characters. 🙂
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comOoooh, that was AWESOME!!! I can’t write a reply soon though 😭😭 I’ll try but probably not before Sunday
Thanks! Sounds good: whenever you get time.
If anyone wants to keep going until I resume, I’m pretty sure Hal will help her up. I think he just adopted another little sister XD
Aw, yay!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comMmm-hmm. And a certain someone… 🙂
My heart is singing with joy! We all need characters who have happy endings. 🙂
My heart is singing with joy! We all need characters who have happy endings.
Right?! Enough of this sad endings stuff, eesh! (Okay, okay,guilty as charged!)
I only hope I can make him a character to match her. *scrunches up face in doubt and confusion*.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.com
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