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Kristianne Hassman replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Thank you for reading it and for your suggestions. You brought up some good points that I will definitely consider. As for the ending, I personally prefer when stories have some sort of closure rather than ending abruptly. I can see what you mean about the angel part not being necessary. I don’t think I’ll take it out completely,…[Read more]
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Kristianne Hassman replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and give suggestions! I really appreciate it. I will think about how to rephrase those sentences. 🙂
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Taylor Clogston replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
I agree with Ella about the close repeats and formatting.
All I “know” of operating rooms comes from TV, so please be patient =P First, would anyone bother thinking or saying “ECG machine” instead of just “ECG?” Second, would the MC be required to formally call time of death, or is that just a TV thing?
Why is this the patient who gets to the…[Read more]
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Ella replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Sorry, the quotes didn’t work.
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Ella replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Wow! That was amazing! I only spotted a couple of things that won’t take long to fix.
Kristianne Hassman wrote:
Breathe, I tell myself. In and out. In and out. My heart calms and I lean back, closing my eyes.
Maybe you could use italics to distinguish her thoughts for readability’s sake. If you decide to do that, then ma…[Read more] -
Ella replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Wow! That was amazing! I only spotted a couple of things that won’t take long to fix.
Maybe you could use italics to distinguish her thoughts for readability’s sake. If you decide to do that, then maybe you could scan the manuscript and italicize her other thoughts for consistency.
Maybe a synonym here?
Again, re…[Read more]
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Ella replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Wow! That was amazing! There were only a couple of things I noticed.
Maybe you could you italics just to make her thoughts clearer. I think the readability would be easier.
There are two “help” words in this, so, for readability’s sake, consider using a synonym for one or the other.
I know this leads the reader on…[Read more]
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Ella joined the group Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
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Taylor Clogston replied to the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
I’ll read and have critique by today or tomorrow.
For future reference I suggest posting a Google Drive or similar link so you can take your story down after you’ve received advice. You don’t have any ability to delete or edit an SE post after a short initial period.
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Kristianne Hassman started the topic Short Story: A Chance of Hope in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Hi friends! I would welcome any critiques on my short story “A Chance of Hope.” I need to submit it to the short story contest by next Tuesday, so I would appreciate if you could give me feedback by this weekend.
Thanks so much!
“Doctor, her heart rate’s spiking.”
Ruthie’s voice cut through my concentration, but I don’t dare look up. “Chec…[Read more]
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Kristianne joined the group Contemporary Fiction Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
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Ella replied to the topic Where do I go from here? in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Ok, wait wait wait. What is happening?! I need more!! 🙏🙏😃 You can’t just stop there…😁
Great job, btw! I love reading these. It’s such a cool idea and you managed to pull it off without adding any gore/language. Two thumbs up!!👍👍
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A.N. Parker replied to the topic Any Fellow “Sherlock Holmes” Fans Out There? *raises hand* in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Hahaha! Yeah, I have all of them in one Kindle book, although I’ve only finished The Return of Sherlock Holmes and am almost done with A Study in Scarlet. I know, I know – I started with the last book. It’s completely justifiable, though; trust me! 😂 I saw it in a bookstore and was, like, “That’s the ONE. Must. Read.” So yeh. 🤣
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Emberynus The Dragonslayer replied to the topic Where do I go from here? in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Another awesome part!! Looking forwards to reading more!! 🙂 🙂
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Vic replied to the topic Where do I go from here? in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
@sam-m @emberynus-the-dragonslayer @melodyjoy @claire-h@ anne_the_noob14 @joshuapior
Finally…! Part 4 (end of Part 3 included for a little refresher 😉) Hoping to wrap this one up soonish. We’ll see. There’s potential for a longer version someday, but probably not what I’ll be focusing on. I just want to give this a satisfying finish. The next…[Read more]
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AshleaAdams posted an update in the group Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
Hi, y’all! Newbie here just wanting to say hi! I hope you’re having a great day.
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AshleaAdams joined the group Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
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Selah CJW replied to the topic Any Fellow “Sherlock Holmes” Fans Out There? *raises hand* in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
XD That’s totally okay. Sorry about that, though!
IDK which is my fav…I have all of them in two big fat books anyway, so how about all of the above?
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A.N. Parker replied to the topic Any Fellow “Sherlock Holmes” Fans Out There? *raises hand* in the forum Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 5 years, 11 months ago
YAAAS!!! @selah-chelyah, same here! 😀
Sorry it took so long to respond; the forum was glitching for, like, EVER. 😛 For some reason, it wouldn’t show Page 2. o . O Anyhow… YES! Which SH book is your favorite?
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Emberynus The Dragonslayer replied to the topic What Is YOUR Story About? in the forum Contemporary Fiction Writers 6 years ago
The team actually doesn’t have a name yet. 🙁 I’ll have to work on that!
That’s a cool name! Love it! 😆
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