@snapper
Active 2 years, 3 months agoForum Replies Created
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@daeus-lamb *promptly melts aforementioned chair* Thankee kindly. *nods*
I definitely like the revised version. The second one you put could be used if you needed something shorter than the first. For the last two lines you mentioned, I think you might need some sort of transition from the 3rd to last and the 2nd to last, the idea of saving the world.
He knows that he wants to save the world. Does he know what he’s saving the world from? The song, or a different evil? Are there more evils than just the song he has to account for?
Maybe “he underestimates” the dark shadow etc, or something along those lines.
“What could go wrong with saving the world? Yet Exton fails to consider (underestimates) a darker shadow lying over the land. –>>>”
The first one I think is good as it is, and above is just in case you wanted to reword those last few lines. 🙂
*melts chair*
@daeus-lamb Hey, how’s it going? *waves* *offers ice cream* *also raspberries*
Well, first of all, this sounds epic. Just wanted to make sure that was clear before going forward. 😛
I think in the first paragraph, rephrasing the second sentence to “saving the world would be a dream come true” might be clearer.
And perhaps instead of saying “no mercy for failure” it would be clearer to write “no allowance for failure” or something along those lines, in the 5th paragraph, though really, either works.
Lastly, if you wanted to further combine the last few phrases, rewording it to something along the lines of “But little in the world escapes the corrupting influence of a deep shadow: the ancient tune first sung by his arch-enemy…
Some call it the SONGKILLER’S SYMPHONY AAHHHH”
Nvm you don’t have to change that last part. It’s perfectly terrifying the way it is. 😉
*melts chair*
@toklaham-veruzia I would say so. I’ve always had a deep connection to Kingdom Pen, though a large part of that is probably due to the fact that I grew up as a writer there. There are other differences, some minor, some larger, but imo, they aren’t the same thing. Yes, there are similarities, but Kingdom Pen is very unique.
*melts chair*
@morreafirebird Same! Kingdom Pen was so amazing. <3
Aww, you’re so sweet to ask. <3 I’ve been great, honestly. This past year I’ve really learned how to enjoy writing again, as well as blogging itself. I have to say that it’s been a great year. How about you? I’ve missed talking to you, though I totally understand the whole job then school thing. XD
*melts chair*
@morreafirebird Audrey!!!! Or rather, Khylie! <3 That’s so beautiful.
ikr?? I had a panic attack in the most positive way. XD
@dekreel I DIDN’T EITHER. It’s crazy isn’t it? But I hope it works out.*melts chair*
@seekjustice YES! It’s certainly possible. 😀
*melts chair*
@kari-karast Wow! Thank you! 🙂
@evelyn That was the intent, lol. XDLove the idea of mix and match. It’s like legos, but with words and ideas.
@r-m-archer Thank you, I’ll definitely look at that as I’m considering what to do. Preptober here we come. 😀*melts chair*
@theresa-play I’ll see if I can. If I’m on then, I’ll be sure to tag you, though we might have other things going on. 😀
*melts chair*
@catwing @dekreel @jenwriter17 @ashira @anyone else
And we’re back to plotting if anyone is around.
*melts chair*
@jenwriter17 @catwing @ashira @dekreel I’m plotting or just messing around with story stuff for a while.
*melts chair*
@jenwriter17 Me too. Read you later!!
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@jenwriter17 Oh yes. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do the 50k one, especially with school. o.o I wouldn’t likely survive.
Yesss, especially the characters. So much opportunity.
*melts chair*
