ScoutFinch190

Thank you!

Here’s the revised edition of my descriptions! (Jade’s in his underwear because the monster (Fabian) was trying to make sure he wasn’t badly injured)

         When Jade’s eyes opened, he saw the monster seated at a workbench, holding his helmet and scraping some blue junk out of a crevice. It wore pants, but its exposed chest revealed muscle…

[Read more]

@rose-colored-fancy

How cool! It’s always interesting to see fantasies set in cultures people don’t often use.  That’s so interesting about how the fabric was cut! Your story sounds very interesting!

Hmm, very interesting. I thought RPG had to do with art.

I haven’t really delved into the inklings, is there a book by Charles Williams that you particularly recommend?

I want to post part 1 of my short story for people to critique her pretty soon, in the topic Character Descriptions/Critiques game, I’ve shared two excerpts describing a creature…[Read more]

@fitz

Nice to meet you! I am relatively new to the forum as well!

I would love to see your prologue! Is it set on earth or another world? I know you said it’s a fantasy, but I was wondering if it was an alternate earth.

C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors as well. Did you know C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were friends? I love Lewis’s…[Read more]

@this-is-not-an-alien

Thanks! I’m actually considering sharing the entire story sometime if you’d like to read it.

@rose-colored-fancy

I think that you’re revision is great! I am able to get into the mind of your POV character and I can visualize what’s happening quite well. Out of curiosity, what time era is this story set in? Why was Sahar c…[Read more]

And here’s a description from later in this scene:

The monster squatted beside him, “Settle down, I w-on’t…” it shut its eyes and mouthed the next word before forcing it to its throat, “B-ite. I know I have the face uf… of a thrid.”

Jade looked up at the creature. The eyes as they peered down the long muzzle were large and round, the irises che…

[Read more]

I think I’d like to jump in… sorry if I should’ve asked first. I don’t see anything I can critique.

In this moment, the main character (Jade) has woken up in the monster’s (Fabian) hut. He is looking around and after trying to get his bearings, he is studying the monster he distrusts while the monster is focused on cleaning Jade’s space helmet.…[Read more]

<p style=”direction: ltr;”>Well, i managed to show the pic… : . I am not the greatest with technology.</p>

here’s my attempt to show a pic of one of them:

@imwritehere1920
I do make little fabric costumes for one of my figures, my first one I attached the costume.

@melancholicwriter
cool story ideas! What do you have in mind for your retelling?

@sparrowhawke

Thanks for the tip! I was definitely wondering if there was a different formula for that.