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Steady

June 21, 2018

β€œYour hands are shaking,” Yirah said.

 

Fiddler curled his tremor-ridden hands around his mug of honey brew. Yirah would never describe her mischievous charge as serene, but shaking hands?

 

They sat in the most relaxing tavern she’d seen this side of Chron. Vines traveled up the fireplace’s sides and drooped over a fine mantel. Dying flames struggled to survive within the confines, feeding on more ashes than wood. Even the tables and chairs amplified the calm atmosphere, their backs carved, sanded, and stained a deep, comforting brown.

 

Fiddler stared at his brew.

 

β€œFiddler?” Yirah satβ€”or hoveredβ€”across from him. As a Spirit Guide, she was unaffected by gravity and floated an inch above her chair.

 

Fiddler blinked. β€œHmm?”

 

β€œYou’re afraid.” The words sounded strange to her ears. Fiddler had rushed into a number of dangerous situations without the slightest hesitation. Something was wrong. What was she missing?

 

Fiddler leaned his chair back, balancing on two legs. β€œIf you had an army obsessed with beheading you, you’d be a little unsteady yourself.” He grinned like a child who’d stolen a Nymph’s harp. β€œYou’re suddenly very concerned about me.”

 

Yirah frowned. β€œI don’t see how sitting around a table is going to clear a path through Hark’s forces.”

 

Fiddler sipped his brew. β€œWe can’t fight through them.”

 

β€œObviously. But you still have a plan.”

 

β€œObviously,” Fiddler said.

 

The tavern door opened, sending a burst of snow into the room and distorting her unnaturally slim, semi-transparent features. A soldier stepped out of the flurry and shut the door. Flakes clung to his brows.

 

Yirah crossed her arms, following him with her eyes. The soldier had probably been pulled from Hark’s army, if his red uniform was any indication. β€œAnd that plan is?”

 

β€œFor me to know and you to find out,” Fiddler said.

 

Yirah growled. The soldier joined five other companions. All were dressed in red.

 

Fiddler swirled his brew. β€œI’m impressed. My passive-aggressive companion managed to find me honey brew during the greatest Plague War since the planet shattered.”

 

Yirah leaned forward, β€œresting” her forearms on the table. β€œThere’s more where that came from if you—”

 

β€œI’m still not telling,” he said.

 

Yirah sighed. β€œYou’re insufferable.” The soldiers leaned close, murmuring. Why were they at the tavern, of all places? Were they after Fiddler? If they wanted him, surely they’d at least take some precaution to disguise themselves.

 

β€œYou chose to be my Guide in the first place.” Fiddler shivered.

 

The room must be cold. The sensation was like an old acquaintance, unimportant and long forgotten. β€œIt’s been a long ten years, even for a near immortal.”

 

Snowflakes slipped under the door. Fiddler craned his neck, glancing at them.

 

β€œYou’re stiffer than a corpse. You need to relax.” Yirah had long since stifled reactions to the physical world, but this time she nearly yielded to the urge to grasp Fiddler’s hands and still them.

 

β€œI can’t,” he said.

 

Yirah sighed. Always so concerned about his people. She shook her head, her light hair floating like tendrils of smoke. β€œYou can’t save them all from death.”

 

Fiddler had foolishly decided to lead not one but a few hundred families to the Flatlands, where they’d be safe from Hark’s maniac genocides. Despite Fiddler’s efforts to evade Hark’s notice, his people were now pinned inside the Woodlands, an army separating them from the freedom and protection the people of the Flatlands offered.

 

β€œDeath tends to avoid those I try to save more than those I don’t.”

 

β€œYou’re making yourself feel guilty,” Yirah said. Fiddler was too young to understand how much damage caring could wreak.

 

β€œThe second their deaths cease to bother me is the moment I strangle my soul with my own hands.”

 

One of the soldiers shifted, and Fiddler jerked.

 

Yirah raised an eyebrow.

 

Fiddler exhaled with an involuntary shudder. β€œDon’t you find immortality horribly boring?”

 

β€œJust because I haven’t died—”

 

β€œFor a few thousand years…” Fiddler interrupted.

 

β€œDoesn’t mean I can’t,” she finished with a customary glare.

 

β€œYou haven’t told me how.” Fiddler leaned forward, bringing his chair to rest on all four legs. His brew rippled in his trembling hands, so he set it down and clasped them under the table.

 

What was wrong? The soldiers? If they were after him, they would have come in larger force and not waited to seize him. Fiddler had once tricked his way out of a legion. β€œI’ve told you.”

 

β€œYou’ve said, and I quote, β€˜When I cease being immortal, I die.’ That’s painfully obvious and terribly vague.”

 

β€œI become real again, fool,” she said.

 

He shifted. β€œAh.”

 

Yirah scanned the room again. The soldiers religiously avoided her gaze.

 

β€œWhy did you do it?” Fiddler asked.

 

β€œDo what, exactly?” She examined the bar. Barrels of brew covered the wall. A lone bartender cleaned mugs, whistling a merry tune.

 

β€œTurn spirit. Cut yourself off from the world.”

 

Yirah paused. β€œYou remember Arianna?”

 

Fiddler leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. β€œShe was a nice lady.”

 

β€œShe stabbed you,” Yirah said flatly. She didn’t want to remember that night. She’d worried Fiddler had lost so much blood that he wouldn’t wake up.

 

β€œI’ll admit, it was a slight error in judgment.” He tapped his mug. β€œBut she was a good kisser.”

 

β€œBut she hurt you,” Yirah said.

 

β€œI think you’re jealous.”

 

Yirah glared at him. β€œShe controlled you.”

 

β€œI suppose.”

 

Yirah shook her head. β€œThat’s what people do to other people. Control them.” She raised an arm. β€œThis way, they cannot.” Fiddler was born safe. He didn’t understand being weak, manipulated. Used for some twisted pleasure like shoving a sparrow in a falcon’s cage and watching it try to escape its hunter. Broken memories, stale but far from inconsequential, still lingered in a dark corner of her mind, where they should have turned to dust.

 

β€œThere is good in it too.” Fiddler shrugged. β€œYou can’t deny you miss touching another person. A hug from a mother. A friendly spar with a colleague.”

 

A pang tugged at her heart. β€œYou surrender yourself to those who’d use you. Better to strangle your own soul than let another do it, hmm?”

 

The door opened again, and another man stepped inside.

 

Yirah shot to her feet. The man’s clothes were cut in the same minimal, square fashion of the soldiers, except bleached white. He raised his head, settling back into the posture of a king, and surveyed the room like he owned it.

 

One would expect nothing less from Hark.

 

Chairs scraped across the floor as the soldiers rose.

 

β€œFiddler. Go,” she said. β€œThey’ll—”

 

β€œWhen I die you’ll be free to pick another master,” Fiddler said.

 

Another master?

 

β€œFiddler!” Hark spread his arms wide. β€œGlad you could make it.”

 

Fiddler fumbled to unbuckle his weapons belt. He placed it on the table. β€œYou need to leave.” He wouldn’t look her in the eye.

 

Yirah watched his shaking hands. She lowered her voice. β€œYou’re letting them capture you.”

 

Hark approached the table.

 

Fiddler swallowed. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.

 

They couldn’t take him. A shadow fell across the table. A soldier motioned for him to stand.

 

β€œIt’s my choice.” Fiddler lifted his empty hands.

 

β€œFiddler! What are you—”

 

The soldier bent Fiddler’s hands behind his back and slammed him onto the table.

 

She turned away. Sounds of the scuffle reached her ears, but it didn’t matter. It couldn’t touch her.

 

He was just another master. She’d had many.

 

She flinched all the same.

 

***

 

He was still unconscious.

 

Yirah hovered outside Fiddler’s cell. The stony room held darkness like a cup holds water. A candle a few cells down fought valiantly to stay alight, its wick almost gone.

 

He was an idiot. She understood now. It was an exchange. Fiddler’s life for his people. Hark’s army had already retreated, giving Fiddler’s people a clear route to freedom. She’d checked while he was asleep.

 

A moan struggled out of her charge.

 

β€œI’ve known mortals for a long time, and yet, you’ve managed to surprise me,” she said.

 

β€œI surprise myself sometimes.” Fiddler sat up, holding his head.

 

β€œYou stretch the limits of human stupidity.”

 

Fiddler stood and stumbled against the wall. He eased forward, reaching for the cell bars. A little blood leaked down his face from a cut on his scalp. β€œYou’re angry.”

 

Yirah glanced down. Her dark-red dress flickered in a nonexistent breeze like it always did when she got mad. She willed it to still. β€œSimply surprised.”

 

β€œThis was the only way they would leave them alone,” he said. β€œThey’ve retracted their forces, haven’t they?”

 

Yirah looked down.

 

β€œThey have.” Fiddler gripped the bars.

 

β€œThe moment the axe falls—” It hit her like a weight. They were going to kill Fiddler. Steal him away from her forever.

 

She pushed the thought away. β€œThe moment the axe falls, they’ll be back.”

 

β€œThat’s enough time for them to evacuate.”

 

But Fiddler would be dead.

 

Yirah turned away. Fiddler was so blasted noble. He was reckless, but he didn’t deserve this.

 

A guard entered the hallway, not giving a second glance to Yirah. He could see her, but paid no mind. She couldn’t affect the world where fate played like a schoolboy.

 

Keys jingled by his side. Keys that could free Fiddler.

 

She shook her head. She had vowed never to go back, but something had crept into her heart, staining it with its messy, warm fingers. Compassion?

 

β€œIt’s too late now.” Fiddler sighed. β€œI had to save them.”

 

Yirah’s throat closed. β€œYou care so much for those who won’t remember your name.”

 

β€œThey don’t have to.”

 

She shook her head again.

 

β€œThis is why you chose me, right? You knew who I was. You knew I’d make the right choice.” A note of pleading threaded his tone, like he needed her to believe in him.

 

Yirah couldn’t watch him die. She lowered herself onto the cobblestone.

 

The guard drew closer. The world blurred like she was stepping out of a waterfall. Gravity glued her feet to the floor, and she swayed under the unfamiliar weight. Her hair, no longer airy, pressed against the back of her neck.

 

She brushed the strands away from her face, feeling them pull through her fingers. She inhaled, and her lungs expanded for the first time in centuries. Her skin reflected the candlelight instead of letting it pass through.

 

It was just like the day she’d found the enchanter and begged him to erase the invisible fingerprints of the man she should have trusted most from her skin.

 

It had been so long.

 

The guard passed her. She reached out, sliding the key ring off his belt. The cold metal bit her palm and she almost dropped it.

 

β€œYirah, please, I’m sorry.”

 

She turned. Fiddler eagerly met her gaze, still searching for approval.

 

She inserted the key and twisted it. Fiddler blinked when he heard the click.

 

Her feet went numb. She was fading already. She rested her hand on Fiddler’s. It was warm. Real. Chills pricked her spine.

 

She swung the door open with a loud creak.

 

Fiddler’s face went slack.

 

Yirah wove her fingers between his.

 

β€œYou can’t…” Fiddler started. β€œYou’re—”

 

β€œI told you.” The world clouded. Her legs had disappeared.

 

This was it.

 

β€œWill you be back?” He looked her up and down, refusing to blink lest she vanish.

 

Yirah shook her head. β€œThis is my choice.”

 

He’d be safe. He’d return to leading the people he’d rescued.

 

She smiled.

 

And disappeared.

 

For a moment, she could still see. Fiddler stared at his hands, opening and closing them like he’d never realized they worked.

 

They trembled no longer.

 

He studied the place where she’d stood before he walked out of the cell.

 

He was free.

 

The last thing she remembered wasn’t a sight, but a feelingβ€”like someone had removed every stimulation except a warmth she almost recognized as her heart.

24 Comments

  1. The Golden Light

    Ahhhhh! That was so beautiful! And painful! I have no other words.

    Reply
  2. Jane Maree

    Awwwww my heart. <3

    This was stunning, Gabby!

    Reply
  3. Aysia Serene

    That was so phenomenal I don’t know what to say.
    Lip-biting, leaning forward, scanning lines quick kind of reading.
    Beautiful.
    And I didn’t see the twist of him turning himself in coming — that part really got me.
    And the names are really cool.
    *hopefully* Any chance there are more stories in their world? or about Fiddler?

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      Thanks for your awesome comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      I didn’t create any more, though I suppose there is always a possibility that I’ll write more someday. πŸ™‚

  4. I, David

    That, quite simply, was amazing. Steady prose, entertaining characters, and a fascinating world; all of them together make a magnificent story. Now I just wish it was an actual book…

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      Why thank you. πŸ™‚ I bet Fiddler would love it if I created a book about him. πŸ˜›

  5. Coralie

    Aww!! I loved that!! It was so sweet! And there were some excellent lines that drew such vivid images. I would love to see more of these characters and this story!

    Reply
  6. Kate Lamb

    GAH! *hugs self and sniffles happily* I love it. It’s lovely.

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      Yay! πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  7. Angelina Vita

    I was not expecting something like this… wow. Just wow.

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      I’m glad it surprised you. XD Thanks for reading!

  8. Cassandra Hamm

    Thanks for breaking my heart πŸ™ </3 But seriously, Gabby, you're an incredible writer, and this was a poignant, beautiful story!

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      Welcome. πŸ˜› Aww thanks πŸ™‚

  9. ESJohnson

    My heart… oh gosh

    Great work. πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      πŸ˜€ Thanks! I’m glad it touched your heart.

  10. Ella Grace

    The story was absolutely touching! great job Gabby! How did you come up with such an amazing story? Your a great writer, I hope to see more of your work.

    Reply
    • Gabrielle Pollack

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. πŸ˜€ Thanks for reading!

  11. Onika

    *Sniff* Poor Yirah… So touching. I hope you learn from this, Fiddler!

    Reply

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