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Candide replied to the topic Another Poem in the forum Poets 6 years ago
What a incredible mother you have!
I enjoyed the descriptions. I could feel being tired too.
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Livi Ryddle started the topic Another Poem in the forum Poets 6 years ago
Here’s a poem I wrote just now 🙂
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How does Mama do it?
She goes about her day,
Fixing meals and wiping spills,
Very busy she does stay.
Washing dishes, folding clothes,
Never ever shirks,
Even when she’s done with wash,
And finds one more dirty shirt.
My brother and I were at the house
For two days on our own;
I did the dishes, w…[Read more]
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Gracie started the topic Chena’s Story Chpt. 3 in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up
III
Eight years later…
Caesar Augustas declared a census that stated everyone had to return to the land of their ancestors to be counted with 12 Roman months to do so. Bethlehem was never particularly bustling with people traveling for the c…[Read more]
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Gracie replied to the topic Chean’s Story Chpt. 2 in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
No, you’re good!
I’m so sorry about the POV! I tried to put a break whenever it switched, and got rid of a lot of thoughts several people had… Do you think I should just leave out Rachel’s part or something?
Hebrew words,.. I changed all Eloha to G-d.
I like the idea of the nick-name. I will have to think of one. I am embarrassed, (to…[Read more]
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AshleaAdams posted an update in the group Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Hi, everyone! I hope y’all are having a great day!
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AshleaAdams joined the group Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
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Eitan replied to the topic Chean’s Story Chpt. 2 in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Your prose is great, and the chapter is very good. I think you portrayed the time era very good, and I loved your subtle references to the Bible – The covenant of David and Jonathan, and Boas – the godly, not quite poor man, that take scare of a young woman / girl without a family. Maybe it was totally accidental though, but I still…[Read more]
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Heyo, just so you know my email is acting up…I can’t see new messages at this point…or send anything.
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Ok, I’ll send it here.
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Hi!
Hmm… I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure I have such things, but I can’t think about such right now… What about you?
Something I really admire in my secular friends is their tolerance. Even though we disagree about so many things, they tolerate and love me. Many people call themselves ‘’tolerant and progressive’’ when they’re so far from it, but…[Read more]
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Oh, I got that one last night. (: I also replied to it, (Not sure if it went through).
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It didn’t.
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I sent you an email from my dad’s email. (:
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Beth replied to the topic Chean’s Story Chpt. 2 in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Awesome!! Will read this soon!
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Gracie started the topic Chean’s Story Chpt. 2 in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted
II
Joab ben Elizer, of the tribe of Judah owned a large, one roomed home with a wide guests’ courtyard in Bethlehem. It was a small, though not unimportant town, two miles from Chena’s home. Joab had a wife, named Rachel, and one…[Read more]
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Eitan replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
I think it’s a better idea, so people can comment on each chapter without comments being confused.
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Gracie replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
@eitan @beth20
<p style=”text-align: center;”>~a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted~</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>II</p>
Joab ben Elizer, of the tribe of Judah owned a large, one roomed home with a wide guests’ courtyard in Bethlehem. It was a small, though not unimportant t…[Read more] -
Gracie replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Oh! Do you want me to start a new topic for every chapter?
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Gracie replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
I’m sorry you had to start over. 🙁
Okay, pre-prologue has disappeared. 🙂 The Roman scene it is.
I watched the video you linked, and might again. (:
Another, smaller problem I had with the pre-prologue is the POV. As a general advice – don’t use omniscient POV.
So, you likely don’t want me to do this in the
prologue(: First chap…[Read more] -
Eitan replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Oh, I wrote a whole comment and then the electricity fell…
Your writing is really good! Descriptions, punctuation, etc., you do it great. Good job!
You’ve also portrayed good the relationships in the family. Malachi sounds like a real elder brother, and I say it as an elder brother 😉
The main problem with the pre prologue is that……[Read more]
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Gracie replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
I think this is the one you already read. *embarrassed look* I haven’t edited yet. Sorry.
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Beth replied to the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
I’ll make sure to read this lol!
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Beth Darlene joined the group Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
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Gracie started the topic Pre-prologue in the forum Historical Fiction Writers 6 years ago
Six year old Chena Batjehoshaphat laughed as she and her two brothers chased a plump frog.
“Hurry! Hurry! Before he reaches the stream!” Nine-year-old Malachi rushed ahead, shoving his little sister aside.
Far behind them Levi, his chin only reaching a finger over the tall grass began to cry. Chena glanced back, her shoulders low…[Read more]
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Candide joined the group Poets 6 years ago
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Maya Joelle joined the group Poets 6 years ago
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