*grabs pen and rushes in to battle with words*
1. the overall flow of your story is solid.
there’s a lot of info dumping in your prologue which is usually saved and spread out along the first few chapters. prologues are an attention grabber; more snappy and say “mysterious.”
your paragraphs are very long which can lead to them being clunky. there’s nothing wrong with large p…[Read more]
@warrenluther04 – no problem! happy writing!
if you would like I can go and highlight and comment the sections I was talking about. 🙂
in answer to your questions:
-I love the flow of your story. the way you arranged the paragraph and sentence lengths kept your prose from getting bogged down and clunky. it flowed smoothly and I thought that Kirin’s thoughts fit nicely in.
there’s two areas where I was confused: when he goes from the arena into the barracks i…[Read more]
to answer your questions:
-it is intriguing. I like how you drop the reader right into the action. it makes me curious for what went on before and what is going to happen.
-the characters are mysterious however I was getting confused to who was doing the talking and the action; at some points your wording is vague.
-overall I…[Read more]
Here’s a snippet from a scene I wrote today –
My breath clouds the air in front of me. It’s cold outside but I made a promise.
Never miss a sunset.
I disperse the clouds, exchange them for new ones with another breath.
The sun is burning everything it touches a gold that cannot be replicated no matter how many photos I take. It is n…[Read more]
@karthmin – I agree! I find some of his word choices questionable… *coughs*, it’s really easy to get bogged down in his prose and he isn’t my favourite author but I also “admire” him for getting published at a young age and for creating an interesting world.
I love this idea! *wips out pen and paper* I’ll have to get writing then. xD
@sarah-inkdragon – ooohhh… *headdesk* I read your response wrong. Sorry about that.
xD he was one of the characters I found the most interesting…
@sarah-inkdragon – I didn’t mean to be nasty or slight Christopher Paolini. I had just finished reading Eragon and moving onto Eldest when I wrote that sentence so I had been reading a lot of his writing. I was copying his writing style when I wrote it – it wasn’t my voice so that’s why I think it’s bad not because I think that Paolini’s w…[Read more]
Sorry I’ve been MIA – school started and I’m terrible at being active online. 🙁
Anyways I’ll try better to be active. 🙂
Here are my September writing goals:
-edit and get my poetry manuscript ready for beta readers
-write daily in journal
-plot a book
I hope you all have a productive and lovely September!
@sarah-inkdragon – wow I’m late to the party xD. *arrives with burnt cookies* Anyway I think that this is an amazing idea! I’ve always wanted to share my terrible 2 am ideas with someone :p (for real thought.)
here’s one of the first lines I wrote back in 2015 –
“The rhythmic noise of Naphtal’s axe cut through the forests reproachable sile…[Read more]
I’ve never been to a writer’s conference but I really want to! It sounds amazing. What are a few you suggest going to?
Hi! I wrote a poem for a contest but forgot to enter and missed the deadline. :p This was my first time writing a free verse poem from a prompt and with guidelines. I’ve written free verse poems before though. Any critiques are welcome 🙂
The guidelines were
-must start with “Dear (something)”
-30 word limit
I love the emblem especially the wings and mountain. 🙂 As for colors I have no idea what to pick or what they could symbolize. I do like red and gold though. If we kept the green back round it could symbolize that we’re growing as writers…that probably sounded ridiculously cliche. I don’t know. xD
As for mythical creatures I love what [Read more]
@filewriter -I was going to say I love Tolkien too but then I realized how awkward it sounded :p I think it’s spelled: the silmarillion 🙂
@morreafirebird – that’s great! I write free verse too because it also comes naturally to me and I can’t rhyme to save me life so…xD
@morreafirebird – I started writing poetry last year to process some things however I haven’t really written anymore poems since January of this year. Do you write poetry?
@sarah-inkdragon – I can’t guess why xD Gouache is a mix of watercolor and acrylic. It’s still opaque however it isn’t as thin as watercolor. Ooh! That’s awesome! 🙂 I’m not really good at painting. Yes! I definitely agree Christian fantasy needs more twisty plot twists. Same! I love those things in books.
@ajaj2000 – thank you 🙂
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