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Hi!

Here’s a snippet from a scene I wrote today –

My breath clouds the air in front of me.  It’s cold outside but I made a promise.

Never miss a sunset.

I disperse the clouds, exchange them for new ones with another breath.

The sun is burning everything it touches a gold that cannot be replicated no matter how many photos I take.  It is natural and pure, not something I can capture and keep to have forever.

My sunsets are numbered.  I will not waste them as if they are mere pennies to squander.

What do you think of it?

How does it flow and read?

Also here’s some snappy dialog I wrote in 2015 that will never see the inside of a book xD:

“The sky is cloudy, the stars do not shine tonight,” Naphtal says. It was still awkward to be around Sare much less talk to her.
“Watch and see,” Sare says then joins the crowd disappearing into the mass of elves.
“Some mystery is she not?” Caleb says from behind Naphtal’s right elbow.
Naphtal started again, “Will you stop doing that please!”
“What?” Caleb asks innocently.

My tenses are wrong and I had yet to learn that not all dialog needs an “ly” word attached to it… :p

What’s some embarrassing dialog you’ve written?

@Sarah-Inkdragon @Devastate-Lasting @Sageinthemeadow @ENU @The-Inkspiller @Karthmin @Filewriter @princess-foo @emgc @catwing @kelly-lundgren @Allison-Grace @ENU @emma @Sarah-Narnathron @ajaj2000 @WarrenLuther04