Hobbitchild

@jeremydvance Thank you for the advice!

@taylorclogston

I would look at repeated words within the same sentence or paragraph. I feel you are trying to do this for emphasis, but it comes off as a little distracting. Try to eliminate unnecessary words to tighten the story.  Press on in your writing!

@wolverinerm

Yeah. I like the World Wars.

But I also like ancient history. My favorite has always been Roman history.

@taylorclogston I think that you should mention more of his surroundings, and maybe something about the service. Perhaps have him think that something the pastor said would contradict his secret.

but I think that you wouldn’t necessarily have to add anything. It’s up to you

@gabrielwoods Thank you! What do you think the funeral scene needs to be more complete?

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer Ooh, sounds promising already! 😀

@wolverinerm I’m sure it will! 😄

@abigail-rebekah

Neat! I love reading historical fiction. That’s so awesome that you’re hoping to publish your book! Have you ever published anything before?

Let’s see… My favorite kids’ series I’ve ever read would probably be Mysterious Benedict Society. My sisters and I are re-reading through it right now and I still enjoy it so much. X…[Read more]

I think your story was good, maybe you could add a little bit more to the scene at the funeral, it was really short but beside that, I thought it was pretty good. In a really sad way.

@wolverinerm

Hey again!

I love Quarter horses and Arabians too!

@wolverinerm Good at critiquing or not, I welcome any criticism or opinions you have! Thanks so much, though. “Loved and hated” is the exact response I’m going for =P

@bama-rose Yeah, I’ve noticed that about fantasy here, so it’s kind of fun that now we can get the contemporary writers together. 😆 And ahhhh, I just love it that you’re writing about foster families!! Some of my brothers are adopted and there’s just not enough books about that.

@katthewriter Quarter horses, all the way, but I mostly ride Arabian…[Read more]

@taylorclogston I’m not good at critiquing short stories since my mind’s wired for longer ones but…I’m all for writing about the hard stuff and wow. I loved and hated that all at the same time in such a good way. Keep it up.

@eden-anderson Hi!

@katthewriter Yeah, your dream with horses is really cool!! : ) I’d really like to do that too.

@eden-anderson

My most current one is about a female detective.