Dakota

@jeremydvance Thank you for the advice!

@taylorclogston

I would look at repeated words within the same sentence or paragraph. I feel you are trying to do this for emphasis, but it comes off as a little distracting. Try to eliminate unnecessary words to tighten the story.  Press on in your writing!

@wolverinerm

Yeah. I like the World Wars.

But I also like ancient history. My favorite has always been Roman history.

@taylorclogston I think that you should mention more of his surroundings, and maybe something about the service. Perhaps have him think that something the pastor said would contradict his secret.

but I think that you wouldn’t necessarily have to add anything. It’s up to you

@gabrielwoods Thank you! What do you think the funeral scene needs to be more complete?

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer Ooh, sounds promising already! 😀

@wolverinerm I’m sure it will! 😄

I think your story was good, maybe you could add a little bit more to the scene at the funeral, it was really short but beside that, I thought it was pretty good. In a really sad way.

@wolverinerm

Hey again!

I love Quarter horses and Arabians too!

@wolverinerm Good at critiquing or not, I welcome any criticism or opinions you have! Thanks so much, though. “Loved and hated” is the exact response I’m going for =P

@bama-rose Yeah, I’ve noticed that about fantasy here, so it’s kind of fun that now we can get the contemporary writers together. 😆 And ahhhh, I just love it that you’re writing about foster families!! Some of my brothers are adopted and there’s just not enough books about that.

@katthewriter Quarter horses, all the way, but I mostly ride Arabian…[Read more]

@taylorclogston I’m not good at critiquing short stories since my mind’s wired for longer ones but…I’m all for writing about the hard stuff and wow. I loved and hated that all at the same time in such a good way. Keep it up.

@eden-anderson Hi!

@katthewriter Yeah, your dream with horses is really cool!! : ) I’d really like to do that too.

@eden-anderson

My most current one is about a female detective.

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer What’s your most current WIP about? 😀

@bama-rose It’s a well kept secret.  😛

@dakota Hi! 😄