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Fantasy Writers

Character Castle 2.5

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  • #152753
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    The other guy whipped around toward him, brandishing a hilt. A hilt with no blade. I’m so intimidated. Alessio thought blankly, his hand instinctively sliding to his knife. But the Armer Guy seemed to rethink and removed his helmet.

    He did look a little less intimidating when they could see his face. A little less.

    But Alessio was busy staring at Leana, his mind still trying to wrap around the fact that she was Nithel’s daughter. Not even to mention the fact that they were about the same age and…

    “Would you please tell me what this place is if you know?” Armer Guy asked

    “Uhh, I don’t know, sir, ask the Drama Queen.” Alessio said vaguely, motioning toward Arsene. Actually, at the exact same time Leana answered. He started – even jumpier than usual, with absolutely no clue what he should do.

    Then she turned to him , her starry blue eyes anxious, questioning. There was a depth, an intensity there, that left no doubt she was related to Nithel.

    “You know my father, sir?” She asked, softly.

    Sir Scary tensed beside him – Alessio darted a glance at him just as something black hovered on Sir Scary’s arm before flickering out hastily. Oh devils oh devils oh devils he’s going to die oh devils-

    “You – He is alive, isn’t he? When was the last time you saw him? Was my brother with him?”

    “He’s alive,” Alessio stammered. “We were both lost…wherever here is…”

    How do you explain the last time he saw Nithel was at a bank robbery where he accidentally saved Arsene who accidentally kidnapped him and the building blew up but he’s pretty sure Nithel’s ok…ish…

    Yeah just stick with they were both lost.

    There’s very faint music coming from Sir Scary…Alessio darted another nervous glance at him which communicated both an ‘Are you ok?’ and ‘Please don’t kill me’.

    “I don’t know where he is now but I’m looking of him too –“ And her last question…

    “Your brother wasn’t with…” His voice broke off a little and he looked away for a second. He swallowed and stared at her wide, questioning eyes. “…I’m so…so sorry. I…”

    What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to tell her…?

    The least you can do is look her the eyes.

    Alessio bit his lip, and swallowed again.

    “From…in all likelihood he’s…” He struggled to hold her gaze but he forced himself to do it, and tried again, very softly. “As far as I know he died in battle.”

    That was very optimistic, as far as he knew her brother was half dead in some torture chamber. But he didn’t want to tell her that.

    Nithel had said he was thirteen.

    Alessio racked his brain for some words of comfort, some way to console her, but he couldn’t think of anything.

    “I’m so so sorry…” There had to be something he could say, or do, or…? What would Nithel have done? He would’ve held her – but Alessio can’t do that!? Maybe he should touch her shoulder reassuringly, he made a motion to do that but faltered. “I…I’m so sorry…”

     


    @kimlikesart
    @ragnarok @ethan-leonard

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152754
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    “He’s alive,” The man stammered, “We were both lost…wherever here is…”

    Alive. Leana closed her eyes and her whole body sagged in relief. He’s alive… My father’s alive! 

    “I don’t know where he is now. But I’m looking for him too–“

    She grinned back at him, eyes sparkling, and shaking her head. Don’t apologize. That’s more than I’ve heard for a year. Nithel was alive. Or at least had been, recently.

    “Your brother wasn’t with…” His voice trailed off, and he looked to the carpeted floor.

    What? Her stomach flipped, and the smile faded away. No… Dad- Dad wouldn’t-

    The man swallowed and lifted his fear-filled eyes, “…I’m so…so sorry. I…” He looked away again, and the silence was as firm as words.

    Dad would never leave him. Oh, no… Star Breather, how? He’s… just a boy… 

    The man bit his lip, struggling to force more words out, “From…in all likelihood, he’s…” He looked up, and she respected him for holding her gaze, even as her heart was crushed. She almost couldn’t hear his words. “As far as I know he died in battle.”

    Leana breathed, “Najma” Almunshi… Why? She pressed her lips together, and leaned her head back against the wall. Leana wanted to slide to the floor, but that wasn’t wise. Not here. Leana squeezed her eyes shut so tightly tears barely could leak through. My precious little brother… She’d had hope. Until now.

    “I’m so so sorry…” The same voice was tight, but kind. Like he wanted to do something to help.

    She pressed a fist against her forehead and looked at him. Then this gathering of men. Her position was precarious. She had no idea what to do. She wanted to hear more about her father from him. But she also wanted to get as far away from here as possible. Find out where in the world she was. How to get back to Farran.

    Poor father. Bearing this alone. Imagining what all this war was doing to his soft soul, no matter how strong he was, cut her every time she did so.

    “I…I’m so sorry…” The stranger, who knew Father, tried again.

    Leana wanted to burst forward and hug him tightly. She hadn’t hugged anyone in so long. But there was a reason for that. “What’s your name?” She whispered, voice scratchy, still pressing her forehead.

    Still aware of those around. That this was an inconvenience to them. But that’s good. Maybe they’ll leave and I can find someone who looks half normal. This man, who knew her father, did.

    —–


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    @ragnarok @ethan-leonard

    Jominkreesa

    'Forth now! And fear no darkness!'

    #152757
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Leana pressed her fist into her forehead, clenching back tears. Alessio wanted to do something – to hold her to say something reassuring. And he wanted her to feel safe, safe enough to not need to try and tough it out. He couldn’t think of anything he could do, he felt so helpless.

    “What’s your name?” She whispered, painfully

    “Alessio,” he said “Alessio Eliakim…”

    Son of I don’t even know at this point…

    He opened his mouth to say something, changed his mind, mentally floundered and decided to let her lead the conversation or well anything she was going to do next. He didn’t know anything about how to comfort her he’d just follow along with whatever she did and try to be there…?

     


    @kimlikesart

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152758
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    “Alessio,” the man whispered, “Alessio Eliakim…”

    Defender Whom God Raises or Establishes. That was a name she knew immediately. Leana smiled softly, good memories rushing to her mind, and a few more tears slid from her eyes. She swiped them away. “My father must have loved that. He… he used to tell stories of adventures, and the heroin shared your name.” Leana pulled in a shaky breath and stared down at the carpet.

    Her cheeks turned a bit rosy, knowing so many were watching her. She wanted to fade into the background. To go cry in her mother’s arms, or her father’s… But that was as likely as her country winning the war. Almost nil.

    —-


    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Jominkreesa

    'Forth now! And fear no darkness!'

    #152768
    Ethan Leonard
    @ethan-leonard

    @kimlikesart

    Con watched with interest. The lady seemed to have just found a guy who knew where her father was, or from what he heard, was even alive. Seeing that he was not really a part of this conversation, he stepped back into the shadows…

    what is going on? He wondered. First I find myself in a strange world, then I end up in this very low tech…building. And now this? He shook his head. And then an idea popped into his head. could I? 

    Stepping back out of the shadows, he approached Leana.

    “Excuse me,” He said. “Sorry for listening in on all that’s going on, but your father it sounds like needs help?”

    She nodded, tears falling freely

    ”How can I help?”

    #152770
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    “Don’t mention it,” Miles said “But that is a good question. The answer? Because, it’s just who I am. If I see someone in danger, I will help them, no matter what. It’s just who I am.”

    Sounds like a fatal flaw.

    “Now for that…thing. How do we kill that? And what can we even kill it with? I only have my sword, shield, and several knifes. What about y’all?”

    Nithair smothered a soft laugh – this man couldn’t dwell on anything except on a goal-by-goal basis. That left him blindsided to be honest.

    “You know…one day you’ll help someone who’ll stab you in the back for all your troubles, right?”

    The man was crazy. Same kind of crazy Alessio was – and maybe that crazy was worth something but it didn’t keep you alive.

    Nathair still couldn’t understand it.

    And he also didn’t want to reveal all his cards – that being everything he could “kill it with”

     


    @ethan-leonard

     

     

    For some reason, she smiled softly when he gave his name, swiping a few tears from her eyes.

    “My father must have loved that.” She said, her voice was so gentle and quiet. She looked as frail as glass and so strong at the same time. “He…he used to tell stories of adventures, and the heroin shared your name.”

    He…? Alessio blinked at lot, his eyes skating to the side. He kinda wondered what kind of stories Nithel told about him. Probably something…romantic or redemptive. Something that made him sound heroic instead of a scared, confused kid who never got to be a child and never learned to grow up.

    Leana stared at the floor, her gold-brown hair draping over her face like a veil, her cheeks pinked. Standing there stiffly like that she looked so alone. He knew what that felt like…

    What should he do? What would Nithel do – scratch that to something more doable – what would Nithel’s story-Alessio do? Devils he had no idea! He just wanted her to feel safe…should he…should he hold her or something?

    Before he thought better of it, Alessio tentatively brushed her cheek, wiping a tear under her eye. Then he flinched and wrapped his arms around himself (or tried to, the handcuffs kinda got in the way.)

    “S-sorry…” He stammered, fisting a hand into his chin, blinking.

     


    @kimlikesart

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152771
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    “Excuse me,” he said, “Sorry for listening in on all that’s going on, but your father it sounds like needs help?”

    Are you offering? I assume he does. Our whole country does. Leana nods slowly, despising the tears that roll down her cheeks. But also glad she’s able to cry.

    ”How can I help?” His voice was so kind. The corners of his eyes crinkled with actual care. Despite his terrifying uniform.

    “I don’t know, sir.” Leana leans more against the wall, looking Con over again, then back to his face warily. “I assume he needs help. Our whole nation needs help. But it’s our own fault, at least our leaders’. Trusting a neighboring country too much, and then being shocked when the betrayal happens. Even when there were signs all throughout that you were being deceived. Senseless death. Soon, there will be nothing left.” Leana presses her lips together and lowers her eyes. Too much. I learn too much, being a messenger. Was that phrased disrespectfully? It was, wasn’t it? She pulls her eyes up, and tries to smile, “Thank you for offering, sir. It- Your kindness means so much.”

    Then Alessio reached out and swiped a few tears from her cheek. Her heart jumped in shock, and he flinched as she did.

    Alessio recoiled, wrapping his arms about himself, as well as he could, when bound to another. He meant well, yea? But… there were so many bozos in the army who meant well…

    “S-sorry…” He stammered and blinked several times.

    But he didn’t strike her that way. He was just a frightened boy. A kind boy who wanted to make a good difference. She saw that in his eyes, He just wanted to help. Like Con. Like too many people she didn’t give enough credit to. The 98 give the 2 a bad name. But that just makes the 2 all the more valuable…

    —–


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    @ragnarok @ethan-leonard

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Kimmi.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Kimmi.

    Jominkreesa

    'Forth now! And fear no darkness!'

    #152781
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    *Whoops! I posted before refreshing the page and I missed your post @ethan-leonard 😅✌️

     

    ”How can I help?” The Armor Guy had asked. Alessio eyed him suspiciously, but he didn’t do anything bad so…

    Maybe Alessio could help…

    Just back off you’re making her uncomfortable!

    He bit his lip, suppressing the urge to bite his knuckles. But everything she’d said.

    ‘Trusting … too much, and then being shocked when the betrayal happens. Even when there were signs all throughout that you were being deceived.’ Stop equating everything to what happened, move on already! ‘Senseless death.’ He had to fix his mistakes, so many people died – were dying – becaus…

    Just stop. This isn’t going to make anything better…

    He was biting his knuckles now. With a mental curse, he dropped his stinging hand, and started to rub his arms – aaand mentally screamed curses at the stupid handcuffs and this stupid situation!!

    “Worrying about the nation won’t do anything right now, but if you focus on one goal at a time…that can make a difference.” Alessio murmured, dodging eye-contact with anyone. “We can’t do anything on a political level yet, but we can search for Nithel, gather resources on the way and come up with a new strategy when we get there.”

    Just shut up already!!!

    Alessio chewed his lip and darted a glance at everyone around him.

    It was possible, after all he was trying to turn the entire tide of a war in his own world.

    When are you going to learn to just shut up, you useless -!?!?

     


    @kimlikesart
    @ethan-leonard @ragnarok

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152928
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    “Worrying about the nation won’t do anything right now,” Alessio murmured, staring at the carpet. “But if you focus on one goal at a time…that can make a difference.”

    It’s the only way to survive. One step at a time, even if you know it won’t make a difference. 

    No matter what you do, you are changing the world.‘ Nithel had said that, so serious. After an argument with him, so long ago.

    “We can’t do anything on a political level, yet.” Alessio continued, “But we can search for Nithel, gather resources on the way, and come up with a new strategy when we get there.”

    Leana’s brows furrowed. *many many disagreements/ideas/questions/opinions* She stays quiet. Again wanting to vanish. Wondering why this friend of her father’s, was bound to another.

    —–


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    @ragnarok @ethan-leonard

    Jominkreesa

    'Forth now! And fear no darkness!'

    #152931
    Catholic Creed
    @hannahrenner

    Someone touched me. Someone touched me. Someone touched me.

    And I can’t set them on fire or anything reasonable like that because the roof is caving in and I need them to carry me to safety – which tragically necessitates touching.

    Hey, at least I’m not flat-out dissociating anymore. That’s progress, right?

    Oscar says that’s progress.

    You murdered him.

    Great, That Punk’s talking again.

    Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Just don’t.

    What he ever do to you?!

    Hey, are you even listening to me?

    Don’t touch me.

    Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.

    Okay. okay. okay. okay.

    Okay.

    Five things you can feel.

    Someone bandaged my foot.

    Rocks. Lots of rocks.

    There’s sand in my boot – the remaining one.

    Uh… that’s three.

    Umberuin – I’ve got it with both hands.

    Fire opal – it’s in a pouch around my neck… glad Search made me get something fireproof.

    Deep breath. Four things you can hear…

     

    “You know…one day you’ll help someone who’ll stab you in the back for all your troubles, right?”

     

    Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not today punk, not today.

    Three things you can smell.

    Uh. Does smoke count when it’s always there? I’m practically nose blind to it at this point.

    1.     People. Sweaty, smelly body odor.

    2.     Rock dust. It doesn’t smell like the rock-dust at home.

    3.     Metal – heck, I can almost taste it. How much does that punk have on? Like, is the armor really necessary? Sooo.

    Anyway. Yeah. Okay.

    Hahahaha. So much for the ‘not disassociating anymore.’

    Disappointment.

    At least I can still feel my hands and feet.

    But everything else feels like smoke, all insubstantial and distant. Would anyone even care…

    But I’m here.

    Okay. Now. What did Search tell me to do?

    If you don’t start talking to us, I’m gonna spray you with this water-bottle! Idiot.

    You can’t get rid of us that easy!

    What kind of example are you gonna set for Vi? Huh? Is it that hard to think younger orphan would look up to you? Huh? “Punk.”

    Communication? Ever hear of it? Huh?

    Yeah… She’s said a lot of things.

    Especially lately. I hope she’s holding up okay.

     

    Wow. I actually thought that. Maybe I do care. Yeah. Yuck. Okay.

    Well, I mean, impossible things can happen. Isn’t that the foundation of religion.

     

    Would Drake growl at me for saying that?

     

    No. Present moment. ya’know, with the collapsing caves and reality-warping monster and people touching me

     

    Yeah… I think… I think I’m gonna just shut up. She’s not here and neither are the others.

    I’m tough. I can take it.

    Useless

    Welp. Someone’s gotta find out what’s going on with the reality-warping being.

    And I do happen to know a thing or two about genus loci.

    So. I’ll just … see myself out.

    Forget I’m here. Forget I’m here. Forget I’m here…

     

    Yeah, I totally did not just fall flat on my face.

    And if I did, it was definitely silent and completely unnoticeable.

    And even if it wasn’t, I did NOT squeal like a little kid.

     

    When life knocks you down, wait 'til it passes over you and then attack it from behind.

    #152940
    Rusted Knight
    @rusted-knight

    Drip.

    Drip.

    Caleb listened to the rhythmic water. It helped calm him. What he had done before was stupid and cowardly. He should help others who were in the same trouble as him. He couldn’t cower at every issue he encountered. But what could he do now.

    Drip.

    Drip.

    Drip.

    Water. Caleb still had his canteen. He had his axe and revolver. He had his worker’s knowledge. He had clothes and life. Could be worse. They had time to think.

    Drip, drip.

    Drip, drip.

    The water had quickened its pace. It struck Caleb as odd. Could the collapse of the tunnel crack a spring open? Springs should be close to the surface.  Did that mean that they were close to the surface. Feeling his way in the dark, Caleb found the trickle of water. It went up a wall and abruptly stopped. The area was muddy and rock fragment fell easily. Probing gently, Caleb found the trickle did not increase as he dug. Still cautious, he pushed his arm into the small hole he had made. By his elbow, he felt air. Quickly spinning his hand Caleb felt smooth rock, no, concrete. it was damp and the trickle he had found continued from the top of the hole out of his reach.

    Retracking his hand, Caleb looked in. He couldn’t tell for sure but there could be light inside. A proverbial light at the end of the tunnel chucked Caleb. Moving fast, he pulled on stones around the hole. Concrete was manmade and so man was there. Get in and it would lead to men and to warm houses and information. The loose rocks were clear now. The hole was only big enough for his head. Turning, Caleb went and got his axe. Using the flat side as a hammer, he proceeded to enlarge the opening. The others noticed by now and were coming over the see what was up.


    @ethan-leonard


    @hannahrenner


    @this-is-not-an-alien

    The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen

    #152941
    Ragnarok
    @ragnarok

    Hades had been quietly standing beside Alessio, having become passive again. He hadn’t flinched the entire time, having mastered the art of appearing completely unnerved on the outside. After listening to the young lady and Alessio talking, Hades noticed Arsene coming back. He was holding a bag. It was a shopping bag, but it wasn’t transparent enough for Hades to see the contents.

    What now?” 

    With a smile mixed with compassion and mischief (he probably just sensed mischief), Arsene presented a bag of…candies? “I hear chocolate is a good comfort food.”

    (Spoiler: he likely stole it without any of them knowing.)

    You can only come to the morning through shadows: Tolkien

    #152955
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Blind Guy fell over in the middle of them escaping. Further he yelped like a frightened puppy.

    Nathair sighed.

    “Now you’re scaring the kids.” He murmured to no one in particular and went over to the Blind Guy. “Not planning on wandering off again, are you?”

    Nathair crouched beside him, evaluating. No good them getting separated again he wasn’t about to chase after him again. Yeah, the Blind Guy was freaking out, he knew because that’s how Alessio behaved if someone looked at him too closely. Same starved look too.

    “Hush, none of that now, shh,” He said in a soothing tone.

    He’d only ever done this when Alessio was a little kid trying to hide panic attacks from his father who’d beat him for cowardice. The boy was a fantastic mimic with a vivid imagination, so Nathair had convinced him to create a persona to wear any time it started to get bad. Taught him to ask for help by subtly tugging his hood or fingering his wrists.

    “You don’t have anything to be afraid of right now. Everything you’re scared of already happened, mm?” Nathair continued – yeah, very reassuring, he was an expert at being reassuring huh? – “There’s nothing to be scared of now that won’t have an end.”

    Clunk!

    That one guy with the axe started digging into the roof of the cave, and Nathair quickly noticed why.

    “Good plan.” He noted and glanced at the Blind Guy who probably wouldn’t appreciate being told what was happening.

    “Oh. Caleb’s breaking a hole in the roof.” Nathair told the Blind Guy – mostly just to see if he was grounded enough to give a snarky retort.

     


    @hannahrenner
    @ethan-leonard @rusted-knight

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152957
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Alessio peeked up again when Arsene tumbled in carrying a strange bag.

    What did you just steal?

    With an unusually kind smile, he handed the bag to Leana. Alessio stared at it inquisitively. And then blinked because he wasn’t as suspicious of the contents as he should be. What just happened, why isn’t he more wary of Arsene, he’s wary of everyone!? And Arsene didn’t exactly have a glowing record when it came to this!?

    “I hear chocolate is a good comfort food.” Arsene attempted to her.

    Chocolate? Alessio perked up just slightly, remembering that strange food they’d found…somewhere in the castle tunnels when Nithel was with them. It was…really good…

    Waiiit. Never trust food someone gives you.

    This was Arsene, he wasn’t suspicious of that.

    This was Arsene, why wasn’t he suspicious?

    Alessio almost started biting his knuckles again but caught himself, squinted at Arsene, stared at the floor, and blinked bewilderedly. He didn’t want to trust Arsene, trusting people was bad, trusting people let them hurt you. But Nithel hadn’t hurt him and Arsene…hadn’t hurt…him…

    So Alessio just stood there, confused, not looking at anybody.

     


    @ragnarok
    @kimlikesart @ethan-leonard

    To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.

    #152959
    Kimmi
    @kimlikesart

    Leana’s eyes widen when the man playfully shoves some sort of parcel into her hands. It crinkles strangely, a sound she’s never heard before… Like the crunching of locust shells? But… mixed with the song of a living locust? And it felt smooth… few things were this smooth. Maybe the flat of blades, but even that was a different smooth. And… stretchy? What was… stretchy like this?

    “I hear chocolate is a good comfort food.”

    Leana had never heard of chocolate, (honestly, the bag interested her more) but if it was food? She was grateful. “Thank you. I…” She gives the stranger a quick smile, brow furrowing curiously. “That’s… kind of you.” Unexpectedly kind. Leana’s a bit suspicious, but now mostly shocked/curious about this strange group, eyes running over all the faces again.

    Her heart is still aching terribly, cheeks still wet with tears, but the ache isn’t as bad as it would’ve been… if she hadn’t been expecting it.

    ———


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    @ragnarok @ethan-leonard

    Jominkreesa

    'Forth now! And fear no darkness!'

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Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

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Our questionnaire is different. Use it to discover your character's core fears, longings, hopes, and needs.

 

 

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Plotting Is Hard

Plotting Is Hard

That’s why we created a worksheet that will help you make sure your story hits all the right plot beats.

 

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Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

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Learn How to Write Christian Themes that Resonate

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Get Free Writing Resources

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Register for the Panel Discussion

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