WolverineRM

@arindown

I’m glad you like them! 🙂

She meets him at school. To tell how she helps him would give away too much of the story! 😉

Yes!! Jordan LOVES basketball and he’s amazing at it!!!!! 🙂

@emberynus-the-dragonslayer

Oh! I like it!

Do you know what they’re personalities are? As in, specifically, from a personality test or something.

I like the dynamics with Crystal’s cheerful outlook. If you don’t mine sharing, how does she meet him, and how does she help him?

Does Jordan do sports? (Just a random question😉 Partly because I love…[Read more]

@arindown

WOW! This took me a really long time! Sorry about that.

Okay I’ll tell you about Jordan Vickery and Crystal Meyers

Jordan Vickery: (usually goes by Vick)  He is 17 rather tall and well built with straight shoulders and strong muscles. He has very dark brown, really curly hair and dark brown eyes. His face has a sardonic, melancholy…[Read more]

@devastate-lasting Thanks! Oh, well I’ll see what I can do…😛

@arindown Awww, thank you!! In all fairness the book’s in the editing stage so I’ve had a while to develop them… which I kind of love doing with all my heart. 😝 And YES, Har is hands-down an ISTP-T. He can definitely be assertive, but yeah, he’s shy. 🙃 Plus, his PTSD contributes to that side of his personality. 😉

@melodyjoy

Haha totally get that!! Happens to me a lot lol! 😉

@devastate-lasting

Yup!

Thanks!

MEL

@melodyjoy Oh okay I see. Different tenses would make a difference *thumbs up*

@devastate-lasting

Well, I usually write in first person and still use thoughts. I had this big long thing in my brain about like since I am writing in past tense and the thought is present. idk haha it was random

@beth20

It didn’t italicize the wreck sentence (lol) because I copied and pasted from my document and italics never transfer. I must…[Read more]

@melodyjoy

Thanks for tagging me! I didn’t read it until now, and I thought it was really good.😄 It’s a first draft, and everyone else had good suggestions, so it’ll smooth out. Can’t wait to read more.

@wolverinerm

Wow! Your characters seem so…real. They’re thought out (much better than most of mine😄) and I almost feel like I could actually meet them sometime in some airport or something.😂

Keith especially sounds fun. Horses, and a Blue Heeler.😍 That’s my type.😂

And Harley sounds great too. I have a main character who is also a ISTP…he’s…[Read more]

@devastate-lasting

Really? I always use italisized thoughts, third or first person.

@melodyjoy

Really liked it! If you post more be sure to tag me!

Just some things I noticed.

When you said, I probably look like a wreck.  You didn’t italicize it. If you follow Linyang’s advise, then you don’t have to italicize it. But, you have to keep it co…[Read more]

@melodyjoy Thanks so much for tagging me!!

I love how real this feels, like I just watched Chloe doing all this stuff. And I totally feel for her in some people just not being draining. 😅

Honestly, the only thing I can think to change is smoothing out a couple places…

“I pulled a boxed dinner from the freezer and placed it in the microwave. I…[Read more]

@arindown, and @everybody

Ahhh, thanks for this!! And wow, I love reading about everybody’s characters!! This is such a fun thread…

Okay, I have kind of a big cast of characters without realizing it, so I’ll just touch on my four most important…

Harley Keane: my POV character. He’s 18, slightly shorter than average, baby-faced with blue-…[Read more]

Awesome I’ll try and read this soonly! Thanks for the tag!

@melodyjoy I like your writing voice! It’s very clear and consistent. One thing that I think would help is, since you’re writing in first person, I don’t think there’s any needs to bring in italicized thoughts. Just change them to more inner monologue. I think that would smooth it out. Otherwise, nice job! 🙂

@melodyjoy

Sounds like a really cool story! I love it. I haven’t reread it yet, I’ll let you know if I find anything wrong with it.