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RAE joined the group Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
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RAE posted an update in the group Sci-fi Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Hey. It’s RAE. I have been trying to write a book called Guardian Angels, a space story. Can I get some constructive criticism on the first chapter?
1. Laxan
Billowing smoke filled the air. Lava drooled into the city streets. Rock soared into the air to land on crawling Nanian bugs. Ash was mixed in with every shaking breath. They had lost. The…[Read more]-
Hi Rae! I haven’t really ever offered criticism on other people’s writing before. Apologies in advance for anything that comes across as too harsh.
First off, I like it! It’s a cool idea. For some reason, I’m getting Mandalorian vibes (do you watch Star Wars? ).
However, it does feel a little wordy. Would it be possible to get outside of the…[Read more]-
Thanks, I need all the help I can get. My big brother (C) thinks the lego sets are cool for star wars and I have watched some of them. Realn are not my version of Mandalorians though, the Fettians which C made up to be way cooler and worse for storylines (He likes making me figure out how to make up a good story, he likes thinking up the coolest…[Read more]
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Why not? If you post them, I’ll read them. I can’t promise to always posting feedback though, next week I’ll be pretty busy and may not be able to keep up.
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Thanks, though I might not post the 2nd chap for a while since it needs some work which I’ve got to do but after that I’m up to chap 4 in typing and chap 10 in writing. Thanks Abrielle, your replies and words give me courage.
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RAE joined the group Sci-fi Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
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Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Name & Age: Conroy; 7 years old
Appearance: 4′ 3″; Asian features but has curly light brown hair with dark brown eyes
Personality: Gravitates to whichever person seems to be in charge. Impulsive with few manners. Enjoys learning, especially about wars. Comfortable speaking to adults but unsure in interacting with kids his age. Quick to notice…[Read more] -
Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Now for my first character: Cahira (who is around 18)
Appearance: 5′ 6″; Asian features with a thin face and straight black hair that come to her shoulders; rather scraggly
Personality: A busybody with a big ego. Observant of people’s faults and quirks which she quickly corrects. Extremely sensitive. A diligent worker and sometimes offers sound…[Read more] -
Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
We shall see if this works…
And may I just mention that Rihanna is quite the character (pun intended).
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Oh no! That’s so frustrating!
Can you post stuff in parts?
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Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Apparently, my longer posts aren’t able to get through…
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Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Am I going to be able to post?
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Denari
Appearance: He is about a head taller than Rhianna, with blue eyes and dark skin. Silvery circles trace a curve beneath each eye, matching the color of his hair, which is short and spiky like a hedgehog’s quills. In all other aspects, Denari is pretty average.
Personality: Very quiet and shy. Doesn’t talk a whole lot. Loves beautiful…[Read more]
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Rhianna, the Loki
Appearance: Rhianna is short and slender, with straight black hair and green eyes. She looks about twelve, half the time. The rest of the time, she looks closer to twenty.
Personality: Passionate in whatever she does. She isn’t generally very good at thinking through things. Always very cheerful.
Background: Rhianna is very…[Read more]
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
By the way, Rhianna thinks she is dreaming. She’s not normally quite that … ummm, whatever that was up there. Denari is my other character. I didn’t have anybody particularly in mind for who, exactly, Rhianna dragged behind the curtain.
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Sounds good! I’ll try to post character profiles when I have a little more time.
“Denari, give up your most prized possession or take part in my fashion show,” Lord Castle said in his deep voice.
Denari?
The room’s inhabitants were craning o get a glimpse of the newcomer when the door at the other end of the room flew open with a resou…[Read more]
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Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
You’re welcome to come up with something different since the fashion show would probably work better with more characters. 🙂
Also, what characters do you plan on putting in the Castle? (If you need me to post my character’s profiles, I am more than willing to do so)
In addition to that I would like to mention that anyone else who is…[Read more]
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Cool! And do you guys want to go through with the fashion show, or is it alright if I try something different?
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E. N. Leonard replied to the topic How do you write the aftermath of a betrayal? in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
I’m dealing with similar events in one of my own stories, so I’ll tell you what I’ve learned. Short term, any casual reminders of that friend are going to hurt. Depending on your character, she could either be open about this and angry, closed and bitter, or sad that someone would do that, or perhaps all three. Long term, it seems…[Read more]
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E. N. Leonard replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Hello, @abrielle ! I might be able to drop in for some CC antics every now and then 🙂
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Nice to meet you, Inkhorn!
Are you guys interested in doing character castle stuff, or is everyone kinda busy? I totally get it if you’re too busy for it, I’m going to be pretty busy to.
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Inkhorn replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
@abrille
Hi, Abrielle!
I am Inkhorn (as my username and tag both state xP), and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance though it is through the Internet.
I’m not sure how many people are still active since SE has been pretty dead lately, but since summer has started, it might kick up again.
I’ll tag some of the others from the…[Read more]
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Abrielle replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 2 years, 10 months ago
Hello! I’m new here, but I was wondering, is this character castle still active? If it is, is there room for an extra person?
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