fb

Poets

Writing free verse poems

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #107822
    Livi Ryddle
    @anne_the_noob14

      Alrighty, so! I’ve got this free verse poem I wrote, and obviously since free verse is free of both rhyme and meter there’s not really a “wrong” way to write it, but does anyone have tips on writing it, and/or critique for me?

      Below is the aforementioned poem.

      The Chess Match

       

      “Checkmate!” you said.

      I moved a pawn

      In front of my king.

      “Pawns can’t move sideways,” you said.

      I shrugged and smiled.

      “The pawn has an airplane.”

      You looked at the board,

      And captured both pawn and king.

      “My rook has a laser beam,” you said.

      I tapped one of your knights.

      (You’re playing with black; me, white.)

      “This knight is loyal to me.

      My king gave her the kingdom.

      You can’t kill your own color.”

      As you studied on this,

      With a flick of my wrist,

      Your king was alone on the board. 

      But this didn’t phase you;

      It rather amused you,

      And my pieces, along with the knight,

      Found themselves under the board,

      Your king on a single square up above.

      I flicked a lever,

      And an iron cage surrounded your king.

      “We’re at a standstill,” I said.

      “You are trapped and so am I.

      And yet, you cannot kill your knight,

      My queen.” 

      You just smiled and your king pulled out 

      A cannon that fit in his hands.

      A bishop of mine threw a rock.

      It knocked your cannon out of reach.

      But I watched in amazement

      As it fell to the basement,

      Falling onto your black knight, my queen.

      “I cannot kill my own piece,” you said.

      “But you certainly can.”

       

      (Based on a rather unusual game of chess that a friend and I played over text messages. Like, this was quite exactly what happened. It started with me sending this “cheating at chess is more fun than actually playing chess” list of things like “oh look at that! While you went to get a snack, my pawns found Jesus and are all bishops now.” Then my friend and I literally played a game of chess but cheating XD He ended up winning by cleverly finding a loophole in my reasoning.)

      • This topic was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Livi Ryddle. Reason: Wow, I can't spell
      • This topic was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Livi Ryddle. Reason: Conciseness issues

      “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

      #107836
      Naiya Dyani
      @naiya-dyani

        @anne_the_noob14 Okay, that’s really funny. XD It sounds like something my sister and I would do.

        Like you said, free verse is hard to critique (I find all poetry hard to critique, honestly, since it feels so personal and individual), but I will mention this one thing–in this line:

        But this didn’t phase you;

        I think you mean “faze.” 😛

        Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

        #107839
        Livi Ryddle
        @anne_the_noob14

          @naiya-dyani *grins* It was so fun!

          GAAAAAHH YOU’RE RIGHT DANGIT

          Sorry XD I get aggravated at myself when I use the wrong homophone XD

          And yeah, I get what you said about poetry being “too personal” to critique comfortably. I’ve had the same problem a couple times, even with some prose.

          “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

          #107841
          Naiya Dyani
          @naiya-dyani

            @anne_the_noob14 Hah, you should see me when I make bad typos. . . I get the puppy face of shame, because in my family I’m kind of known as the grammar Nazi. Although I’ve come to mind it far less on things like forums and IMs. Because I make plenty of errors on those things. Often on purpose. 😉

            I enjoy doing free verse a good bit myself. When something just strikes my poetic mood, I usually lean more traditional poetry, but when I’ve got internal turmoil and need to spill it out on paper to God because my mind sure can’t do it (not that this happens frequently or anything. . .), I usually go free verse. Much easier to brain dump that way. Don’t have to follow conventions of poetry or prose. 😉

             

            • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Naiya Dyani.

            Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

            #107844
            Livi Ryddle
            @anne_the_noob14

              @naiya-dyani *grins* My mom and I are, too! And yeah, I make purposeful typos as well 😛

              Yes!! Exactly what I do! I’ll get inspired by the weather outside or whatever and write a sonnet, but then I’ll read a book with a bittersweet ending and write a free verse sob story.

              “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

              #107846
              Naiya Dyani
              @naiya-dyani

                @anne_the_noob14 GAAAAAHHH YES

                I came home from watching I think it was called Overcomer–can’t quite remember, but it was that Christian movie with the boy that drowned–and it messed me up and I just went OKAY NOW I NEED TO GO TORMENT MY CHARACTERS TO GET THESE FEELS OUT

                Unfortunately, I struggled and just ended up yelling to my sister over Messenger instead. 😛

                Yeah, I wrote a poem recently about the stars after taking out the compost and it was fun because instead of it being about loving the stars I took a different twist on it. 😉 I sent it to my sister and she just responded with “oof.” XD

                Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

                #107849
                Livi Ryddle
                @anne_the_noob14

                  @naiya-dyani

                  Oh my gosh, that’s funny XD And also not, cause #toorelatable… XD

                   

                  “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

                  #107852
                  Naiya Dyani
                  @naiya-dyani

                    @anne_the_noob14

                    Heh, at least my children were safe. . . for one night, at least. 😉

                    Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

                    #107860
                    Livi Ryddle
                    @anne_the_noob14

                      @naiya-dyani

                      *grins* True!

                      “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

                      #110111

                      @anne_the_noob14 Such a fun poem!! I liked the banter. ;P

                      For tips….free verse is, well, free. I used to think that meant that you wouldn’t use any poetry techniques in free verse, but now I realize that free verse really opens up my writing to use the full variety of tools.

                      I use free verse as an opportunity to ruthlessly cut out any unoriginal wording and really go for clean-cut writing.

                      I dwell on bringing out strong images by utilizing original metaphors and similes.

                      Powerful vibes/aesthetic and how the poem feels in your mouth are both important. Bringing in some alliteration and assonance assists with this.

                      Also, words that SOUND like what you are describing are so cool to work with: for example, words with sharp sounds like “clank” and “spike” and “crime” when describing a battle, and words with open sounds like “warm,” “marshmallow,” and “liquid,” for a mug of hot chocolate.

                      I hope some of that helps!

                      Spreading God's love until I can see seven billion smiles. 🙂 https://sevenbillionsmiles.home.blog

                      #110119
                      Livi Ryddle
                      @anne_the_noob14

                        @emma-starr Thanks! I had a ridiculously fun time writing it XD

                        *nods thoughtfully* Aah, I see! Yeah, that’s all helpful! I’ll see if I can work some poetic wording and sounds in 😀 Thank you!!

                        “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

                        #110124
                        Evelyn
                        @evelyn

                          @anne_the_noob14 Aawww :’)

                          Sounds like me and me sis.

                          Very cute. <3

                          #110159
                          Eitan
                          @eitan

                            Very nice poem! I like it.

                            I do not write poems that much, but I’m studying now Biblical literature (which’s always free-verse), and it’s main uniqueness is in it’s use of parallelism between lines – it allows you to hide meanings in the lines without directly say them. Parallelism works best in free-verse, because you aren’t limited in your choice of words, you can describe things more freely.

                            For example, in Proverbs 10:11 – ”The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence”. The parallelism (contrast between the two lines) isn’t exactly opposite descriptions (life vs death), but it reveals deeper meanings and information about both the righteous and the wicked:

                            If one brings life, so the other brings death. If one is a liar and concealer, so the other is honest. If one is violent, so the other is patient and loving.

                            You can use that technique in your poems too, to use the free-verse structure and it’s advantages on other poems best.

                            You don't need to see the wind itself in order to hear the rustling leaves.

                            #110162
                            Livi Ryddle
                            @anne_the_noob14

                              @evelyn 😀 Thank you!


                              @eitan
                              Thanks!

                              *nods* Yeah, I see… Hm. I’ll think about how I can work something like that in!

                              (In a side note, I always love reading Proverbs… 🙂 )

                              “Enough! Be quiet! I can’t hear myself think! I can’t hear my teeth chatter!"

                            Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
                            • The forum ‘Private: Poets’ is closed to new topics and replies.

                            Enroll in Our Seven-Day Mindset Challenge Course

                            Enter your email to begin taking the course. We'll send you a link to begin the mindset course along with emails to help you grow in your writing craft!

                            You've joined the course! Check your email to watch the first video.

                            Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

                            Knowing your character's favorite ice cream flavor won't help you write engaging protagonists.

                             

                            Our questionnaire is different. Use it to discover your character's core fears, longings, hopes, and needs.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the character questionnaire in one moment...

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Want to impact the world for Christ with your writing—without being preachy or cliched?

                             

                            Learn how to avoid common pitfalls and craft powerful themes by downloading our free worksheet!

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the theme worksheet in one moment...

                            Take Your Style to the Next Level

                            Take Your Style to the Next Level

                            The written word matters to God.

                             

                            Does it matter to you?

                             

                            Learn how to develop an eloquent, practical, and personal style by downloading our free e-book.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

                            Every Year, Thousands of Writers Give Up

                            Every Year, Thousands of Writers Give Up

                             Don’t be the next.

                             

                            We understand how exhausting writing can be, so download our free e-book and find inspiration to press on!

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

                            So You Have Clichés in Your Novel...

                            Thankfully, we’re here to help!

                             

                            Enter your email below, and we’ll send you a simple process for smashing clichés.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the cliche worksheet in one moment...

                            Sign Up for Updates

                            Enter your email to receive updates on the 2025 Summit, along with emails to help you grow in your writing craft!

                            You have successfully subscribed for updates!

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Want to impact the world for Christ with your writing—without being preachy or cliched?

                             

                            Learn how to avoid common pitfalls and craft powerful themes by downloading our free worksheet!

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the theme worksheet in one moment...

                            Poetry Isn't Just for Poets

                            Poetry Isn't Just for Poets

                            It can also help novelists write better stories!

                            Get our Harnessing the Power of Poetry e-book to learn how techniques used by skilled poets can enrich your storytelling.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Craft Moving Themes Without Turning Readers Off

                            Want to impact the world for Christ with your writing—without being preachy or cliched?

                             

                             

                            Learn how to avoid common pitfalls and craft powerful themes by downloading our free worksheet!

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the theme worksheet in one moment...

                            Uncover the Secret to Relatable Characters

                            Uncover the Secret to Relatable Characters

                            Learning how to help readers connect with your story's characters doesn't need to be a mystery.

                            Get our Evoking Reader Empathy e-book to discover how successful authors build empathy.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the eBook in one moment...

                            Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

                            Stop Using Meaningless Character Questionnaires

                            Knowing your character's favorite ice cream flavor won't help you write engaging protagonists.

                             

                            Our questionnaire is different. Use it to discover your character's core fears, longings, hopes, and needs.

                             

                             

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the character questionnaire in one moment...

                            Plotting Is Hard

                            Plotting Is Hard

                            That’s why we created a worksheet that will help you make sure your story hits all the right plot beats.

                             

                            Sign up below to learn how to ace story structure.

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the plot sheet in one moment...

                            Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

                            Learn What the Bible Says about Engaging Plots

                            Enter your email to get your guide, along with other resources to help you grow in your writing craft!

                            You have successfully subscribed for updates!

                            Learn How to Write Christian Themes that Resonate

                            Enter your email to get the worksheet, along with other resources to help you grow in your writing craft!

                            Congratulations! Redirecting you to the theme worksheet in one moment...

                            Get Free Writing Resources

                            Sign up below to gain immediate access to over a dozen ebooks, story worksheets, and action step guides.

                            You have successfully subscribed for updates!

                            Register for the Panel Discussion

                            Enter your email to claim your free spot at the live event!

                            You have successfully subscribed for updates!

                            Register for the Panel Discussion

                            Enter your email to claim your free spot at the live event!

                            You have successfully subscribed for updates!

                            Pin It on Pinterest