Hello! Is anybody in the mood to critique a short story? 😀
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CATHY!!!!!!! *screams with excitement and joy and scares all birds within a five mile radius*
WINGIBY IGGIBY!!!! LOL, how’s your stories been, how’ve you been, how’ve your characters been (lol, dying, I know XD)?!
Aw, thank you so much!! I’m so glad you like it Btw, how are Rosario and Ehud? Are they getting along? Does Rosario still think Ehud’s ridiculous? I miss them! I miss all of the characters, actually, lol It’s funny how I get to know y’all through your characters
Ohhh goodness! They–they were gonna be pulled out of the Castle a couple months ago but I was like ‘oh I’ll just ya’know have ‘em have their first kiss first’ MONTHS ago!!! And– 😈 heheheh 😈–you just missed Rosario kiss a shapeshifter she thought was Ehud! It was glorious! And now they’re chilling on a bridge over an abysmal abyss that’s crumbling sooo…😁
Btw how’s Ahab been? Ah he was such an interesting character LOL remember when they first got dropped into the character castle and he just burst into the library like ‘WHOEVER’S IN THEIR IS GONNA PAY!!!’ And then him and “Miss Murder”! It was glorious chaos!!To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
@wingiby-iggiby
So sorry, I have (once more) failed to prioritize correctly and completely forgot to reply.Yes, muscle memory is amazing! I love it so much Our bodies are so awesome, lol (but my mind blanks out on stuff all the time, so yeah . . . . )
LOL, yes! I was playing a song I haven’t played in a really long time and I was very creeped out that my fingers were playing it faster than I could read (And I don’t have it memorized) and it was weird XD
Oh my goodness, I do the same thing!!!!! I was playing Canon in D and I couldn’t get rid of the swing unless my teacher counted the beat for me XD
LOL!! oNE, and tWo– I know that one all too well XD Or, the alternative, “It isn’t da DA dA Dum, it’s DA da Da dum,” XD
Canon in D is so pretty! I have no idea if you can play it on harp but it’s really pretty! I’ve found it also helps to listen to someone else play a song so you can hear the final result.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
@rose-colored-fancy @this-is-not-an-alien
Hi!! Sorry it has taken me so long to respond! We went camping, and then my computer kept saying I couldn’t access the website, and then when I could, I couldn’t post anything XD So, let’s try this again! 😛
WINGIBY IGGIBY!!!! LOL, how’s your stories been, how’ve you been, how’ve your characters been (lol, dying, I know XD)?!
I’ve been great, my characters have been in pain (no deaths yet, but someone will have to go at some point . . . . *cue evil laugh*), and my stories have been paining me! So yeah lol I’m well-rounded over here . . . .
Ohhh goodness! They–they were gonna be pulled out of the Castle a couple months ago but I was like ‘oh I’ll just ya’know have ‘em have their first kiss first’ MONTHS ago!!! And– 😈 heheheh 😈–you just missed Rosario kiss a shapeshifter she thought was Ehud! It was glorious! And now they’re chilling on a bridge over an abysmal abyss that’s crumbling sooo…😁
Oh my goodness, I MISSED THAT?!?! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?! Epic, so epic . . .. .
btw how’s Ahab been? Ah he was such an interesting character LOL remember when they first got dropped into the character castle and he just burst into the library like ‘WHOEVER’S IN THEIR IS GONNA PAY!!!’ And then him and “Miss Murder”! It was glorious chaos!!
I KNOW!!!! I loved that part, and I loved playing him so much! I have such a weird sense of humor, so it was great. But actually, he’s like four stories behind me now, LOL (yes that is how many novels I have started and not finished within like a year, so yeah). But, now that I think of it, I will have to resurrect him . . . either I’ll find a way to fit him into my new WIP, or I’ll give him his own short story — which I really think he deserves. You just gave me a world of new ideas!!! 😀
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.Oh my goodness!!! It posted!!!!! *elated happy dance*
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.So sorry, I have (once more) failed to prioritize correctly and completely forgot to reply.
The story of my life 😉
LOL, yes! I was playing a song I haven’t played in a really long time and I was very creeped out that my fingers were playing it faster than I could read (And I don’t have it memorized) and it was weird XD
Totally creepy! Like when you’re running down a hill and your legs are ahead of you and you just can’t catch up 😛
LOL!! oNE, and tWo– I know that one all too well XD Or, the alternative, “It isn’t da DA dA Dum, it’s DA da Da dum,” XD
IKR?!?!
Canon in D is so pretty! I have no idea if you can play it on harp but it’s really pretty! I’ve found it also helps to listen to someone else play a song so you can hear the final result.
I do the same! And I’m pretty sure you could find a harp version of the song; its really popular at weddings LOL
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.I’ve tried in vain to like classical music, but it’s hard and I get bored XD I think my favorite is definitely folk, especially Celtic and South American. It’s just too much fun! My favorites are by Ortiz. (Oh, his books are for piano too! I have the International Rhythmic Collection parts one and two.) My favorite songs are Habanera Gris and Danza de Luzma. Look them up, they’re really pretty! What are your favorite songs to play?
Classical stuff IS tough: I can definitely vouch for that 😛 And I love listening to folk music! I haven’t played any yet, so I think I’ll ask my teacher about it. Ohhhh, and I listened to those songs, and they are BEE-U-TEE-FUL!! I absolutely love that sound! Just watching the harpists’ fingers on the strings; oh man, it was brilliant 😀 I haven’t listened to a lot of harp music and had no idea it was such a great solo instrument.
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.I think my favorite songs to play are Ahsoka Tano’s Theme, Anakin’s Suffering, Canon in D, and anything Swing. Ahsoka Tano’s Theme is the most advanced song I know, and I love it! I’ve almost got the Ahsoka one memorized, and I’m still learning Anakin’s. They are two of my favorite STAR WARS characters, and I think part of the reason I love those songs is bc I am emotionally attached to them. Anakin’s Suffering is actually a combination of 4 different themes, and together they tell the story of his life! John Williams is amazing.
Oh, and do you like to compose? I’ve composed a few short themes, just for fun (if I was assigned composing, I probably wouldn’t like it half as much lol) 😀
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.I can’t tell you any details about Ziyad because it’s kinda spoilers. He has kinda a tragic backstory so he has his…. issues. And because of character agency, that means he’s made a lot of really bad choices XD He’s honestly a mess, but he really tries and I love him for it. I think he has a genuinely good heart and good intentions (mostly) but he’s been dealt a really bad hand and he can’t seem to escape it.
He isn’t a POV character, so I know less about him than you’d expect XD
Oh, he sounds awesome! I just love characters like that, the ones who try so hard to be better than they were (bc they used to be really awful XD). And I know too little about all of my characters, less than I should 😛
Oooo, and Chantara is epic! Sympathetic villains are some of the best! The fact that you made her loyal to her friends is really interesting, and adds an extra layer of depth. I am sorta tired of the villains who throw away their accomplices, although I guess that just shows how evil they are XD
Method for coming up with characters…. Well, it usually starts with a concept. Sometimes the concept is a part of a character dynamic like “Annoying kid and world-weary mentor”.
Like, I have a side character (One of Chantara’s friends) who started with the concept of a really cheerful, funny, nice person who’s also basically a psychopath but doesn’t realize it. XD (He’s fun! XD)
And then I’ll usually fit that character somewhere in the story and give them a role, and then I try to figure out why they became that way. And then I figure out what they’d do in the story. Their appearance develops somewhere along the way 🙂
How about you? How do you do it?
Oh, that sounds pretty similar to my method! I just think of a tale, and then add characters as I see fit. When it came to my current WIP, I knew that I wanted a band of odd characters to unite on a mission, so my brain just went wild from there. Recently, I added a porcupine person to the mix, LOL
LOL, wailing about your hair is a universal experience XD There’s a fine line between “Messy romantic waves” and “birds nest” and I use it as a jump rope XD She sounds awesome! I think I’d love her!
Yes, exactly! That’s why she wears a head-wrap when she can’t wash her hair, LOL
He sounds like Ziyad! I love characters like that! They’re my absolute favorites! (Next to the sassy ones like Li’ah XD)
Ditto. 😀
Negative character arcs are awesome! I love them, I have one I’m planning and it would be so cool!
Oooh, yay! I love a good mix of goodies and greys and baddies!
Thank you! I’m so excited about it! It has the coolest aesthetic, it’s kinda Art Noveau and Rococo mixed up, to fit the combination of 1700s and Edwardian. Like… think Pirates of the Caribbean meets Phantom of the Opera XD It’s just the coolest!
The pirate idea is definitely still a large part of the plot! I love it, it’s just so fun! But now it’s basically pirates vs. secret agents in a heist setting, so that’s going to be chaos XD And there are a few side characters who were circus artists, a sharpshooter, an escape artist, and an acrobat. (And the sharpshooter and the other two are on opposite sides and hate each other.) There will be at least one masquerade ball, and research involves how to pick locks, weaponize jewelry, and how corsets could turn bullets. I have no idea what I’m doing but I love it!
I am speechless!! That sounds just like something I’d love!! Combining different epic ideas is one of the best ways to make a unique story! I wish there were more stories out there just like the one you described.
Yes! I remembered something about a tiger XD That sounds amazing!!! Wow, I love the premise! What’s your favorite part about it? How far into it are you? I don’t remember, are you a plotter or a pantser?
Thank you so much!! 😀 Hmm, I think my favorite part might be the worldbuilding, and getting to write about a whole bunch of wonderfully odd characters (dialogue rocks). I’m only a few chapters in, haha, but I can’t wait to get to the good parts! And I think I’m a panster; I do outline a little bit, making a skeleton, but then I just brainstorm 😛
Also, yes! Connecting to other writers is the best, they all just get it! I have to keep myself from talking in detailed jargon about my WIP to everyone else, let alone writer humor. Like: “Oh, I’m going to murder a character this afternoon, wish me luck! XD” or “Do you think he’s miserable enough? I think I can make it worse…” and talking with great enthusiasm in upsetting detail about stuff like poison LOL XD Apparently, other people don’t get that XD
I LOVE WRITER HUMOR!! And I totally get talking in detail about upsetting stuff, lol. I think it’s interesting: such as the fact that when Egyptians would mummify people, they’d pull their brains out through their noses. If some random person saw a writer’s search history, the writer would be like “I’m not a serial killer, I promise! I’m just an author!” XD
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.So sorry about the posts not being all in one post! I just realized they wouldn’t post as one, bc I was trying to include a couple links, and they wouldn’t go through. You don’t have to reply to all of that LOL — its overwhelming, haha
I light the arrow, pull the bow,
Shoot that fire right through my soul.So sorry about the posts not being all in one post! I just realized they wouldn’t post as one, bc I was trying to include a couple links, and they wouldn’t go through. You don’t have to reply to all of that LOL — its overwhelming, haha
Don’t worry about it, it’s totally cool! 🙂 SE is a bit glitchy now and then 😉
How was camping? Hope it was fun!
Classical stuff IS tough: I can definitely vouch for that And I love listening to folk music! I haven’t played any yet, so I think I’ll ask my teacher about it. Ohhhh, and I listened to those songs, and they are BEE-U-TEE-FUL!! I absolutely love that sound! Just watching the harpists’ fingers on the strings; oh man, it was brilliant I haven’t listened to a lot of harp music and had no idea it was such a great solo instrument.
I know right! They’re such pretty songs! In my opinion, the harp is awesome as a solo instrument, but an ensemble of harps is the most heavenly sound! It’s incredible! I’ve actually done ensembles once or twice for recitals and it’s really fun!
Ooh, if you want to hear a really pretty one, look up “I’m going to make a cake” by Philip Glass, played by a harp ensemble! (Literally the most insane title for that dramatic piece XD) (You can actually find my teacher’s ensemble playing this on YouTube. It’s the Zwolle Harp ensemble and that version is epic!!)
I think my favorite songs to play are Ahsoka Tano’s Theme, Anakin’s Suffering, Canon in D, and anything Swing. Ahsoka Tano’s Theme is the most advanced song I know, and I love it! I’ve almost got the Ahsoka one memorized, and I’m still learning Anakin’s. They are two of my favorite STAR WARS characters, and I think part of the reason I love those songs is bc I am emotionally attached to them. Anakin’s Suffering is actually a combination of 4 different themes, and together they tell the story of his life! John Williams is amazing.
I just looked those up and they’re so pretty! I love Ahsoka’s theme, it’s amazing! It’s so cool that you can play that!
Oh, and do you like to compose? I’ve composed a few short themes, just for fun (if I was assigned composing, I probably wouldn’t like it half as much lol)
I haven’t in quite a while, but I used to! I’ve composed a handful of pieces (All kinda terrible or so complicated I never wrote them down XD) but it’s really fun!
Oh, he sounds awesome! I just love characters like that, the ones who try so hard to be better than they were (bc they used to be really awful XD). And I know too little about all of my characters, less than I should
He’s totally one of my favorite characters, he’s just been through so much and he’s trying so hard and– *Sentimental sniff* XD I just want him to be happy! *Also me: How can I make him suffer more!!??* LOL XD
Oooo, and Chantara is epic! Sympathetic villains are some of the best! The fact that you made her loyal to her friends is really interesting, and adds an extra layer of depth. I am sorta tired of the villains who throw away their accomplices, although I guess that just shows how evil they are XD
I really love that about her because it forces you to see that she’s also a victim, and that if things had gone differently, she would have been a completely different person. It kind of forces you out of the black-and-white mindset that tends to dehumanize villains. They’re creepier if they’re human and slightly relatable!
I’m planning to add at least one chapter from her POV and it’s going to be so awesome because the entire first half you’ve seen nothing except her being incredibly cruel, calculating, and honestly terrifying, and then there’s this chapter where she comes back and finds out one of her friends died and she’s just completely vulnerable and grief-stricken and it’s the polar opposite of what you’ve seen so far. It’s going to be awesome! XD
Oh, that sounds pretty similar to my method! I just think of a tale, and then add characters as I see fit. When it came to my current WIP, I knew that I wanted a band of odd characters to unite on a mission, so my brain just went wild from there. Recently, I added a porcupine person to the mix, LOL
Yep! That’s it! Odd bands of characters are the best though XD
Yes, exactly! That’s why she wears a head-wrap when she can’t wash her hair, LOL
Brilliant solution! I just love when authors address this stuff in books, it makes it feel much more real!
Like, I recently read a book where the MC needed to hide that she was a girl (for plot reasons XD) and the author mentioned how she was worried about people noticing blood on her laundry during *that* time XD That just makes it feel so much more real and I always wonder about it when it isn’t mentioned XD
Oooh, yay! I love a good mix of goodies and greys and baddies!
Yes! Even better when the characters who were baddies are no longer baddies and the greys have gone to extremes and character development!!
I am speechless!! That sounds just like something I’d love!! Combining different epic ideas is one of the best ways to make a unique story! I wish there were more stories out there just like the one you described.
Thank you so much! It’s going to be so awesome and I’m so excited! I was actually getting worried that it was getting too chaotic but I think I can make it work 😉
LOL, i was just thinking, “What cool stuff can I shove on top of all my emotional baggage to make it less dark and personal?” XD (Hint, it’s still going to be too dark and personal, probably XD)
Thank you so much!! Hmm, I think my favorite part might be the worldbuilding, and getting to write about a whole bunch of wonderfully odd characters (dialogue rocks). I’m only a few chapters in, haha, but I can’t wait to get to the good parts! And I think I’m a panster; I do outline a little bit, making a skeleton, but then I just brainstorm
That’s awesome! Yes! Odd characters with funny dialogue is the best! And I relate to wanting to get to the good parts XD
I LOVE WRITER HUMOR!! And I totally get talking in detail about upsetting stuff, lol. I think it’s interesting: such as the fact that when Egyptians would mummify people, they’d pull their brains out through their noses. If some random person saw a writer’s search history, the writer would be like “I’m not a serial killer, I promise! I’m just an author!” XD
YES! I mean, last time I went on a rant about how a poison scene in a book was incorrect people seemed concerned. Why? You mean most people don’t know how poisons affect you and why they work the way they do? Shocking. XD
And yes! Researching weird stuff is a must XD and googling the definitions of super common words XD
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
*Skids in equally late but with no good excuse!*
HIII!!!!I’ve been great, my characters have been in pain (no deaths yet, but someone will have to go at some point . . . . *cue evil laugh*), and my stories have been paining me! So yeah lol I’m well-rounded over here . . . .
Lol so true!!
Oh my goodness, I MISSED THAT?!?! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?! Epic, so epic . . .. .
Yurp ya missed it LOL IT WAS SO FUN!!!!! *I’m so evil 🥰* But you’re just in time for him accidentally blurting out “I love you” XD!
I KNOW!!!! I loved that part, and I loved playing him so much! I have such a weird sense of humor, so it was great. But actually, he’s like four stories behind me now, LOL (yes that is how many novels I have started and not finished within like a year, so yeah). But, now that I think of it, I will have to resurrect him . . . either I’ll find a way to fit him into my new WIP, or I’ll give him his own short story — which I really think he deserves. You just gave me a world of new ideas!!!
THAT WAS SO FUNNY!!! And YES too many projects!! I’m co-writing with my brother, I’m writing my four-year-old WIP I’m audio booking and good grief I’ve even started trying to “perform and record” music for my WIPs and animate!!!
HE TOTALLY DESERVES A SHORT STORY!!!!!!
Lol you’re welcome, I’ve bestowed misery and grief of too many projects even further upon you! 🙂To be a light to the world you must shine in the darkness.
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