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Okay Rillumen! I need your help… like for reals. So I wrote the story… but it needs a lot of refining… like a TON! This is where you guys come in. We only have ’till Saturday to make this a masterpiece… so what’re we gonna do about?

Here’s the link… please leave comments… of any kind. We need to make this a cohesive web of pain and suffering for the reader… we want them to hurt the reader… so please help me… and I suddenly have a few ideas for it…

In the story we have Darcen… the protagonist. He has these nightmares every night that torture him. But if he wakes up from them a child in the city dies. And he’s never made it all the way through. Darcen lives in a living hell of wishing he never had to sleep again… but having to go sometimes. So he goes in… and tries… but always fails.

I think we need to show how much this wears on him… maybe somehow at the beginning. We need the subtleties of pain to slip through… and that will make it all the easier to add a sliver of light in at the very end.

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