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  • Aberdeen had some extra time the other day after working on his secret project, so he decided to delight y’all with RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC PART 3!

    For those of you missed the first part, go to page 1 of this topic. For part 2, go to page 4.

    @josiah @daeus-lamb @hope-ann @gabriellepollack @brandon-miller @ethryndal @jessi-rae @cindy @gracelivingston @overcomer @christieaton @aislinn-mollisong

    Trumpets sounded. A door burst open and General Raspberry hopped into a carriage pulled by turtles.

    “Charge!” he yelled, pulling the reins. The turtles moved at the whopping rate of five feet per hour.

    Pennsylvania yawned, escaping at the rate of ten feet per hour.

    “Quick! They’re getting away!” General Raspberry ordered. The Gnatsees raised their guns, charging toward them.

    Pennsylvania cracked out his licorice whip, slashing a rifle out of a soldier’s hands. Sierra pulled out her quiver, Zikergirl her writesaber, Cindy her flyswatter, and Storm her Edna.

    “Hey, what’s the flyswatter for?” Pennsylvania whirled his whip above his head, stinging anyone who got in his way.

    “Everyone knows that’s the only way to squash the Gnatsees,” Cindy told him, whacking incoming Gnatsees.

    Bang!

    “I’m bleeding!” Christi cried, clutching her leg as red goop oozed all over.
    Pennsylvania gasped, rushing over. He bent beside Christi and ripped off a piece of his shirt as tears welled up in his eyes because that was his very favorite shirt.

    Bang! A bullet smacked the back of his neck.

    He wiped the blood off and licked it.

    “That’s repulsive!” Christi cried, still clutching her leg.

    “Hey, relax, it’s only raspberries,” he informed her as another raspberry bullet shot past them.

    “No!” Christi sobbed, burying her face in her dress. “I’ll never be able to remove the stain.”

    Grrr!

    Christi and Pennsylvania jumped as a Gnatsee grasped the collar of an angry German Shepherd. “Get them, Jessi!” He released his grip and the dog dove for them.

    Pennsylvania, Storm, Christi, Sierra, Cindy, and Zikergirl pounded through the marketplace, apologizing to all the citizens they bulldozed because they wanted to at least be polite when they were being rude.

    Bang! Bang!

    The Gnatsee shot enough raspberries at them to make a pie. Pennsylvania halted, surveying the area. He squinted at a shop. “Aislinn’s Cheesecake Factory” the sign read in bright pink letters. “Hey, that’s the—Ow!”

    The Jessi dog sunk his teeth into Pennsylvania’s boot. Pennsylvania tumbled over as Jessi tugged the shoe and waved her head wildly. Gabrielle, accompanied by three soldiers, rose from behind a turnip stand, small sword in hand.

    “We have you now!” She smirked as she flung her sword at Pennsylvania. The sword barely missed his head. He tilted his head, reading the inscription on the handle. “Hello, my name is kindness” it read. Pennsylvania plucked the sword off the ground and stabbed the dog with kindness. She yelped and limped away. He swung it back at Gabrielle, because it was better to give than to receive. But she caught it and dove for Pennsylvania, kicking the figurine out of his pocket.

    Gabrielle grabbed its head and Pennsylvania grabbed its feet. They pulled, trying to yank it free from the other’s grasp. Pennsylvania gritted his teeth as Gabby pressed her heel into his side and rammed raspberry seeds up his nose to make him sneeze.

    “Achoo!” His nose exploded and a bunch of seeds pelted Gabrielle’s face, forcing her to lose her grip from ewwness.

    “Hey, catch!” He tossed the figurine to Christi. She, Cindy, Zikergirl, and Sierra disappeared into the crowd. Half of the Gnatsees darted after them. Meanwhile, Gabrielle and the rest barreled after Pennsylvania and Storm.

    “Hey, this way!” Pennsylvania raced into an alley. He halted. Brandon blocked the path. He cracked his knuckles and flexed his muscles. Pennsylvania gulped, but then he noticed Berfurd standing behind Brandon with almost flaming nostrils.

    “Hey, there’s a triceratops behind you.” Pennsylvania crossed his arms.

    “Don’t make me look back, dude, it distracts me from the now.” Brandon strutted forward incredibly.

    “Okay.” Pennsylvania shrugged as Berfurd charged, nearly flattening Brandon. Other Gnatsees entered the alley, so Pennsylvania and Storm darted up a ladder of a thirty-foot building. Reaching the top, Storm knocked the ladder over and all the Gnatsees on it tumbled off. But then they started climbing up the rafters.

    Edna’s whiskers twitched. She whirled her tail around wildly and a tornado appeared in the sky and sucked up the Gnatsees and probably deposited them in Kansas.

    Pennsylvania’s eyes widened. “Hey, how many times do I have to tell you that this is an action—”

    “Let it go. I’ll edit it out later.” Storm rolled her eyes as Edna glared at him for his impudence. Another trumpet sounded and hundreds of Gnatsees swarmed the building.

    There was only one way out.

    “Jump!” Pennsylvania advised Storm. They crashed below.

    “I wish action-adventure stories weren’t so physically deteriorating,” he muttered, rubbing his backside.

    “Look! There’s Christi!” Storm pointed. Pennsylvania followed her gaze. They leaped in that direction, but a black-belted ninja that looked like a female Loki stopped them. She did a flip as her lips flew out sarcastic remarks.

    “I don’t have time for this!” Pennsylvania clenched his fists.

    The ninja whirled sharp remarks in the air like daggers. “I dare you to come any—”

    Bang!

    She collapsed to the ground as Pennsylvania blew away the smoke from his pistol.

    Christi screamed and all the windows shattered. Once Pennsylvania recovered from his momentary deafness, he searched the crowd for Christi.

    “Christi!” he yelled, picking up his pace. He gasped. The curd woman, along with two Gnatsees, grabbed Christi and Cindy and flung them into the back of a truck.

    “No!” Pennsylvania shouted. Edna handed him a nut bomb and he propelled it at the truck. But it was too late. The truck roared off as peanuts, cashews, pecans, walnuts, Brazilian nuts, almonds, and filberts exploded into the air and thumped onto the pavement like it was a squirrel’s wedding day.

    Pennsylvania fell on his knees and covered his face. “Why? Why must two innocent, guiltless—”

    “That’s redundant.” Storm crossed her arms.

    Pennsylvania clenched his fists. “All you can think of at a time like this is—” He gasped, suddenly realizing something even more exceedingly awful than his friends getting kidnapped. “The figurine. The only clue to the arc. Christi had it, so that means…”

    Storm and Pennsylvania gazed after the truck as it disappeared behind a corner.

    TO BE CONTINUED…

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