Activity

Hello Parimis!

One thing that I’ve just had playing on my mind is similar to what we we talking about back at Choice of Information. (something that was asked to be looked into more.) And the thing I’m thinking of? Description. Or more specifically, over description. Shockingly, it is one of the things that will either kill a scene’s tension, or double it. It just depends on what way it is used.

 

There are two ways you can use description: You can use it in such a way that it takes away from the scene, or you can use it in such a way that the reader knows every painstaking detail about it.

So, how do we use this over description to enhance the story? Pretty easy. Forgive me as I switch into film mode.

Just like camera shots, the lense of your description is important. If you want to build tension, showing a huge portion of the area with the action or focus point being a tiny dot in the center. But if you zoom in on the sound of the character’s breaths in their ears, the way that person’s eyes widen, the trembling of the characters hands, or the tiny veins of that leaf, it instantly heightens the tension.

The key is in those little details.

Compare these two excerpts:

 

Caution stared down at the crown, tears trickling down her cheeks. With shaking hands, she lifted it up and set it on her head, closing her eyes as the magic took hold of her. Transforming. Healing. Maybe the world isn’t lost. Maybe there still is hope.

Opposed to:

Caution stared down at the crown, and the pearly white shone back her own tearstained face. Each jewel glinted like a star in the sky–one of the stars that she had been looking out at only a week ago. She ran her fingertips over it lightly, tracing the twisted stems that formed the symbol of Corohan. Diamonds nestled between the shapes, sending rainbow glimmers of light darting across her chest. Shaky breaths filled her lungs as she stared. Swallowing, she picked it up, her eyes widening ever so slightly as the weight dropped away. Her eyes slipped closed as she placed it on her head.

The cool rush of magic washed over her, flooding through her veins. A smile crept onto her face. Maybe we haven’t lost this battle. Maybe there is still hope.

 

Both of those were considerably different to each other. One focused on the big picture, the other on the little details. The one with the little details helped bring the scene to life, increasing the tension dramatically. It helped to make the readers curious about what had happened previously, and what it meant for her to wear the crown.

 

Your task this week is again to write a snippet. (500 word limit as always) Try to weave in all of the little details. Build that suspense!

@wishingwell13
@cassie-hartfinh
@esjohnson
@aysia-serene
@coggleton
@julia
@evelyn
@rayne
@silverclaw-bonnetfolly
@ariella-newheart
@rachelle
@sarah-vdh
@steward-of-the-pen
@e-jo3
@consciousdreamer
@joseph-kolapudi
@metasua
@adag
@wysteriacampion
@lillian-parks03
@northerner