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Hello fellow Ereki! Today I present to you my September piece for the critique challenge–the first half of chapter one from my WIP, Firemaster.  *confetti*

Now, as to what I’d like for critique, I’d like to focus on three main areas:

• Flow–how does the story flow? Is it easy to understand, or are there some confusing parts? How to the character’s thoughts fit into the general story line?(If there’s any confusing parts, would you mind highlighting them in the doc, so I can go over and fix them? That would be super helpful.)
• Prose–is it super boring, great, or just average? How are the descriptions?(I know, I’m sadly lacking on scene descriptions and settings, but bear with me. It’s the first draft.) Do you like the style? (And again, if there’s anything super confusing to you, highlight it please.)
• And finally, character. Do you like Kirin(the MC)? Is he sympathetic to you? Do you like his character, and do you think he’s an interesting person, from what you’ve seen so far?

So there you go! You don’t have to do all this stuff, but I would appreciate it if you took it upon yourself to at least do one and maybe highlight some areas(favortie spots, confusing spots, etc..). That would be very helpful.

I will be keeping this doc up till OCTOBER 10th, so that gives you guys a full month to check it out. So please, even if you just read through it and then tell me whether you liked it or not, look at it. I need all the critique I can get.

And here’s the link, finally. I set it on a shareable link, and put it on suggesting, so you should be able to veiw and comment on it. If not, tell me and I’ll fix it. Thanks a bunch, guys!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zgo10KN7pz89R-u-d8r4rGFLDtgUiAoU7XQ7tyxi7Fk/edit?usp=sharing

I’m going to tag everyone: @morreafirebird @bekks2017  @allison-grace @theinvizibleman @lydia-writes @filewriter @devastate-lasting @warrenluther04 @ajaj2000 @sageinthemeadow @cowlick @enu @kara-lynn @sarah-narnathron