ESJohnson

OF COURSE WE ARE!!!

@cassie-hartfinh 😊😊😊

Of course, it makes us all feel better! 😂😂😂

@cassie-hartfinh thanks!

@evelyn thanks!

@j-a-penrose I’ll keep that in mind…

Also @j-a-penrose, your edits on the doc are AMAZING!!! They’re definitely spot on–I didn’t even think of some of those!

You should work as a professional editor or something. 😉

@j-a-penrose thanks so much!

@lillian-parks03 thanks!

Okay guys, after hacking away at sentences, deleting them and then bringing them back, this is what I’ve got as the very final draft. 😂😂😂 Thoughts?

@j-a-penrose @steward-of-the-pen @lillian-parks03 @ariella-newheart @cassie-hartfinh (just because you suggested the train thing in the first place, Cassie 😉)

THE ORPHAN TRAIN

PARIMI ALCA GUILD…

[Read more]

Thanks guys! I’ll edit the final version tomorrow and post it here and in the doc. (Though the general consensus is to slow the train down, so I’ll leave it like that just because. My hope is to have an open ending, and in my heart of hearts I think she survived. 😉)

We can call her Ella…

And you know most little kids are scared of shadows, so shadows are considered monsters. But what she’s trying to say is that the days when she used to play with her friends are so long ago that they’re like shadows, monsters even, taunting her about the good old days. Somehow she still loves her friends and thinks that…[Read more]

@j-a-penrose here’s the revised version of the story. Should I delete the part about her father or no?

I don’t want to go.

Wherever this train is taking me, I don’t want to go.

Mama used to tell me not to trust strangers. This entire train is full of strangers, of whining, screaming children who are going the same place I am.

 

My smu…

[Read more]

I’d love to know how to release key points of information at a time The reader definitely isn’t expecting.

@j-a-penrose @ariella-newheart yeah, let’s slow the train down and have her think someone’s taking her away from her mother. 😉

Okay, guys, here’s the train snippet that I have. I don’t know how to end it though (it’s technically a really, really rough sketch without the detail and stuff).

Any suggestions? (It’s also on the Google Doc)

I don’t want to go.

Wherever this train is taking me, I don’t want to go.

Mama used to tell me not to trust strangers. This entire…

[Read more]

@cassie-hartfinh thanks! I feel much better now… and willing to help with the girl on the train.

@ariella-newheart YESSSS!!! You need an editor, I’m right here. 😉

Accepts hugs

@j-a-penrose THE ONLY PERSON?!!!

I feel lonely now….

Oh boy.