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Fantasy Writers

Ninjanaria Chapter Three: Ninjanaria 😉

Viewing 13 posts - 16 through 28 (of 28 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #115352
    Kristianne
    @kristianne-hassman

    @beth20

    Courage, dear heart.

    #115373
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    Thanks! I will fix some of those and get back to you! Some I have already fixed and then forgot to post an update!!

     

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115643
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    Is there a reason he calls him “McCain” and not “Mr. McCain” or his first name? It feels a little too casual and maybe even disrespectful for Jered to call an old friend of his father’s just by his last name.

    That’s his first name lol!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115645
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    It feels a little too convenient that McCain would just happen to pick Jered up as he’s going to his cousin’s house and then that he knows about Ninjanaria too. I would suggest introducing us earlier on to McCain so that it doesn’t feel too convenient for him to be here at this time.

    I should write a prologue!!! Another prologue!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115648
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    @kristianne-hassman

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115666
    Eitan
    @eitan

    @beth20

    Prologues exist to deliver necessary information you can’t deliver in the first chapter(s?), and also have to include another ”hook”, besides the one of the first chapter, so think carefully if you need to write one. Not every story have to include a prologue 😉

    PS: Did you change your username?

    You don't need to see the wind itself in order to hear the rustling leaves.

    #115678
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    @eitan

    Okay!

    Yeah, I just added ‘Darlene’ after Beth! It’s my middle name!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115698
    Kristianne
    @kristianne-hassman

    @beth20

    That’s his first name lol!

    Ohh ok. It doesn’t really sound like a first name to me. Is there a reason you have it as his first name?

    And yeah, maybe you should write something more about McCain before the third chapter. I don’t think you need a prologue, but you could maybe introduce him in the first chapter (maybe he comes to visit or stops by for something).

    Courage, dear heart.

    #115706
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    @kristianne-hassman Yeah okay good idea!

    It’s my friend’s name lol! I have all my friends except one in there!


    @eitan
    Oh just really saw your profile pic!! Awesome!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115730
    Kristianne
    @kristianne-hassman

    @beth20 That’s kind of neat! 😀

    Courage, dear heart.

    #115749
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    @kristianne-hassman

    Yeah!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

    #115798
    Eitan
    @eitan

    @beth20

    Thank you very much! 🙂

    You don't need to see the wind itself in order to hear the rustling leaves.

    #115822
    Beth Darlene
    @beth20

    @eitan

    Yup yup yup!

    Jominkreesa! For the weirdos who know what it means! 😉 I love you guys!

Viewing 13 posts - 16 through 28 (of 28 total)
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