Activity

Time for our second lesson in Pacing and Suspense, and hopefully it will be a major help. Until the end of June, we’ll be working through choice of information.

One of the things that will keep a reader riveted to a book is if they don’t know everything. If you know exactly what’s going on and what will happen, you’ll get bored. I can guarantee it. On the other hand, if you don’t know anything at all, you probably are going to find that your readers will just be confused and annoyed. So in your writing, you need to find a nice balance between these two options.

What I want you to do now is to write a short snippet that tells the reader enough information to know what’s going on, but not so much that it is boring. Make the reader guess. It can be from a WIP, or you can make it up on the spot. Any POV is fine. Try to not have it shorter than 100 words and not longer than 500 words. (doesn’t matter that much)

Here’s a quick example…

“Hold out your arm.” Her words drop like bricks into a still pool of water. I stretch my arm out to her and bite my lip as she reaches for a needle. I can do this. Just stay strong Ashley. Just a little longer. My arm trembles as she pulls my wrist toward her and hovers the tip of the needle over the blue vein that pulses against my skin. I suck in a breath as it pricks into my arm. Please do nothing this time.

Don’t change me.

A cry is torn from my lips as ice floods into my arteries—spreading through my body faster than what feels possible. I lurch to the side and stifle a scream as the needle snaps off inside my arm, glistening blood beginning to well around the wound. Help. Someone, help! My breathing saws through my throat and scalding tears run down my cheeks. Something is shoved into my mouth. I gag. Screams shake my body. Be strong. The idea seems so distant. Pain is all that is left. Just pain.

Pain.

Eternity passes. Please let me be dead. A whimper touches my ears that still ring with screaming. I can’t keep living like this. The uncontrollable writhing that had seized my body has stopped, and now all that’s left is shivering and a deafening silence. I force my eyes open and squint up through a blur of tears at the stony faced woman above me, the agony lessening. “What—” I croak around the mouthful of cloth, “What did you do?” She backs away, picking up her hover-net and tapping on it while examining me as though I were a specimen at a museum opposed to a human girl. Do any of the scientists have a heart?

A gasp catches in my throat and the pain from my arm vanishes as my eyes settle on the woman’s shirt. It was…like embers before. My eyes dart up to the hover screen—grey. Her eyes—a darker grey. My heart stops for a moment, then begins to pound in my throat. I spit the rag out and push myself off my back, my eyes scanning around the rest of the room. “Please no.” Grey swamps my vision and the tears begin to run down my face again. Breathe Ashley. It’s going to be okay. It has to be okay. It can’t last. I swing my eyes to the scientist who stands rigid, her analytical eyes scanning over me. My breath chokes in my throat. She doesn’t care.

They’ve taken everything.

A fog slides over my brain as I run out blindly, shoving past the woman. They stole it. They stole my colours.

The ground tilts beneath me.

My knees hit the cement.

I hug my legs close to my body. I can be brave. It doesn’t matter that they tried to destroy me.

I am still strong.

Hopefully in that little example, you didn’t know exactly what was going on. Why was Ashley there? Why was the woman injecting her with a needle that made her colour blind? What did she mean by, ‘Please do nothing this time’?

Try to write a little snippet that raises questions, still tells your reader what’s going on, but doesn’t let them know everything.

Have fun!

@julia @evelyn @rayne @silverclaw-bonnetfolly @ariella-newheart @rachelle @sarah-vdh @steward-of-the-pen @e-jo3 @consciousdreamer @joseph-kolapudi @metasua @AdaG @wysteriacampion